


we're too young to know things like love

by Ephemeral_Joy



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Observations, POV Outsider, Romance, Slice of Life, anecdotal, the guys are human in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 100,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ephemeral_Joy/pseuds/Ephemeral_Joy
Summary: The various ways and situations people notice the connection between Julie and Luke, whether that be a close friend or a complete stranger.(started as a 5+1 fic and then i kind of went rogue. oops.)
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 1174
Kudos: 1533





	1. senior year of high school

**Author's Note:**

> ophelia not using a taylor swift lyric??? It Exists. Also back on my bullshit with an OUTSIDER POV FIC BECAUSE I LIVVVEEE FOR OBSERVATIONS also it allows me to write limited dialogue which is :) :) :) very nice :) :) :)
> 
> edited | not beta'd | T for cursing and the sanity i lost by looking up the american school curriculum for one minor part | title from "ghost of you" by 5 seconds of summer | "two ghosts" by harry styles also used because i love hurting
> 
> find me on tumblr @lydias--stiles

**I. ALEX AND WILLIE**

Willie and him were sitting on a bench at The Grove, people watching and updating each other on their lives as they haven’t seen each other much. Both were busy: Willie with his bachelor in sports sciences, Alex finishing up his last year of high school whilst juggling the band. He was still a little dazed that someone like Willie would date an anxious, drummer dweeb like him, but he preferred to not linger on it. 

‘I’m trying to perfect this really hard trick and-’

‘Oh, oh, oh! Hold that thought!’ Alex placed his hand on Willie’s shoulder as the other pointed at something closeby. It was Luke, sitting on a bench with eyes glued to his phone and leg bouncing. He was sitting in front of an Urban Outfitters. Alex deduced he was probably waiting for Julie to finish, but what was more interesting was what was happening around him. The attention. 

Willie caught on and grinned. ‘He is so oblivious.’

‘Straight people always are.’

A few feet from Luke was a girl staring at him. It was LA, and with a face like that, she could be a model. Tall, tanned, leggy and a sculpted face. Objectively, the girl was pretty. It also wasn’t surprising she was interested in Luke, the lead guitarist of the band had many admirers, young and old. Alex didn’t get the hype. Was it the shaggy brown hair? The puppy eyes? Then again, that must be why Julie fell for him. 

After a few agonising seconds of watching the girl, she took a risk and approached Luke. Willie whistled under his breath.

‘Here we go,’ Alex muttered. It was almost routine by now. 

Luke looked up from his phone, a polite smile pressed on his lips as the girl talked to him, tucking hair behind her ear and casually touching his shoulder. Damn, the girl had game! Alex must admit they, aesthetically, looked good together. They looked like the type of couple you’d see on the cover of US Weekly, or any gossip magazine for that matter. 

‘They look like they should be on the CW,’ Willie mused. Alex laughed, throwing his arm around him. Sometimes they were so in sync it was _crazy_. 

Luke kept conversation going with the girl, unfazed by her touches. He pointed at his T-shirt, making Alex assume they were talking about Blink-182. Alex was almost worried Luke _did_ know what she was doing and he was on an ego trip, when Julie walked out of the store. Luke perked up with the goofiest smile and bid the girl goodbye. She looked flabbergasted. Julie slipped her hand in his and both walked away. Alex felt bad for the girl. They really did look good together. 

But as he watched Luke and Julie’s retreating backs, he realised that a couple didn’t need to look like they belonged on the big screen. Julie and Luke _fit_ , without reason or rhyme - they just did, and that was all that mattered.

**II. FLYNN**

’I’m so gonna fail!’, Julie moaned as she was juggling her thick biology binder. 

‘You’re not gonna fail!’

‘I am!’

Julie’s band have been rehearsing in overtime for the past week, which resulted in less focus on school, which resulted in an overstressed Julie pacing in the hallway. Flynn was used to it by now. It got tired real fast, especially since Julie somehow pulled through at the end. Maybe the impending doom of her father’s ugly stare pumped enough blood to her brain to get a passing grade. Whatever. Right now, all Julie had to do was _calm down_.

‘Jesus, Jules. Stop pacing! You sound like Alex!’ Flynn grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stop. The girl dropped her head. 

‘If I don’t get a good grade for bio, my dad will think I’ll just run off with the band after graduation. Or that I’m sad again. Ugh!’

‘To be fair, you do look sad right now.’

‘Not. Helping. Flynn!’

Flynn let go of her, puffing. ‘Nope. Not doing this. I’m done. You’re not in the right headspace.’

Luke appeared from behind the corner, his casual smile at the sight of the girls falling from his lips at Julie’s distressed expression. He rushed towards them.

‘Julie, what’s wrong?’ His hands buzzed around her, nearly shielding her from questioning gazes. He looked at Flynn, eyebrows raised. 

‘She’s stressed. Jules, I have a dance exam so I have to go.’ She smiled at Luke, who mouthed a “good luck” at her, and left the two.

She looked back just once and watched as Luke murmured something, brushing her face with pads of his thumbs. Julie visibly relaxed and smiled. It wasn’t quite a true smile, but she was smiling nonetheless. Her bestie would be okay.

Flynn smiled, brushed her braids over her shoulder, and made her way to the auditorium. Ready to blow these teacher’s minds! 

  
  


**III. REGGIE**

‘Move your big butt!’

‘ _You_ have a big butt!’

‘I am a stick and you know it!’

‘ _Guys_!’

The boys were at Julie’s house for a regular movie night. As usual, it didn’t go smoothly. You had Alex texting Willie and complaining about the snacks, Luke hoarding said snacks, Julie trying to be a dictator on which movie to watch and Reggie just fucking wanted to have a good time. His home was _this_ group of idiots, this band of rockstars. 

Alex groaned. ‘Luke, don’t be a simp! Can’t we choose the movie for once?!’

Luke scoffed. ‘I’m not a simp! Sorry Jules, Alex is deciding the movie.’

‘No!’

‘Yes!’

‘Alex! You and I both know we wanna see “Clueless”!’

The blonde faltered, the realisation coming onto his face with dread. ‘... Yeah.’

‘Ha!’ Julie pumped her fist, victoriously, and snuggled up to Luke as she searched for it on Netflix. Reggie smiled, glad the tussle was over. 

He locked eyes with Luke, who seemed content watching a chick-flick as long as Julie fit in the crook of his arm. “Simp”, he mouthed, to which Luke mouthed “Fuck you” back. Ah, friendship.

Alex passed him the popcorn as a blonde girl began talking over Kids In America. He shared his pink lemonade with Julie and he knew Luke would silently pass him M&M’s by the third act and honestly, being smack dab in the middle of the couch with these people was the only place he ever wanted to be. 

Reggie hoped they would always be Julie and The Phantoms. And when they all laughed at the exact same joke during Cher’s speech in debate, he knew they’d be alright. 

**IV. CARRIE**

Look, Carrie Wilson did not get jealous. 

Sure, did Julie’s sudden success with the three boys that enrolled together last school year unnerve her? Maybe. But she knew she couldn’t _blame_ her for anything - not really. 

Dirty Candy was her baby and they had millions of subscribers on Youtube. She dated one of the star players of the lacrosse team (until he dumped her… for Julie. Thank God she felt an ounce of girl code and rejected his ass). She could get all the clothes in the world and went to all the concerts she wanted to because of her dad. Carrie had the life ever teenager was envious of. 

And yet. 

She couldn’t blame _anything_ on Julie, and yet she was jealous. (If she were honest with herself, she’d identify the feeling of _loneliness_ rather than jealousy, but Carrie wasn’t ready for that yet.)

She was walking with Kayla down the hallway when her eyes flitted to a familiar locker. There she stood, her ex-bestie Julie. Not alone, though. 

Luke Patterson was looming over her as he leaned against the locker, both incidentally wearing a similar shade a red and purposefully angering Carrie because they looked like a couple from a coming-of-age movie and if _Julie_ could get a guy like Luke, why couldn’t _she_? 

Julie grinned at something he said, him twisting a curl around his finger and leaning in closer. Back when Julie and her were still friends, they would buy all the magazines in the store and fill in quizzes under blanket forts at Julie’s house. When the quintessential “boyfriend quiz” arrived, Julie would always scrunch up her nose at the idea of PDA. “Ugh, get a room!”, she used to say. Looked like she changed her mind. 

She passed the couple and subtly eyed how they looked so… at ease. In this bustling hallway with kids yelling, lockers slamming and music playing from every corner, they seemed perfectly blissful having an intimate conversation. And that was why Carrie was jealous. She and Nick never had that. Not that she ever tried to make it something _more_ , as Nick had been more of a performative boyfriend to her (like her dad’s girlfriends were to him), but this made her wonder. Wonder what it was like to actually be infatuated. Wonder what it was like to have a guy like Luke look at her that way. He was utterly mesmerised.

Kayla brought her out of her reverie with a question.

Carrie blinked. ‘What?’

‘For the psych test. What was the difference again between surface and elaborate processing?’

Quickly rattling off the answer, Carrie forgot about Julie’s locker and her jealousy and went into psych class. But her gaze would follow them every once in a while - holding hands in the hallways, her legs thrown over his lap at lunch, him mindlessly dissecting her curls during quiet moments - and realise that she wasn’t obsessively jealous, but _lonely_.

The realisation made her smile. At least she could be happy for Julie now.   
  
  
**V. NICK**

  
Nick was confused. 

Firstly, he _vividly_ remembered Carrie and Julie being friends, but then suddenly they weren’t. He only heard Carrie’s side of the story and he never quite understood it. He’d been friends with the same guys since elementary school, so abrupt endings of friendship weren’t something he was familiar with. 

Secondly, he wasn’t quite sure why he used to date Carrie. She was nice, sometimes, and attractive, and his friends told him to shoot his shot when Carrie showed him a sliver of interest, and suddenly they were six months into dating. By then, he was already sick of it. 

Thirdly, Julie also showed him some interest, but when he asked her out after breaking up with Carrie, she… declined? But if Carrie and her used to be friends, they must’ve behaved similarly, right? So, why did Julie reject him? 

Fourthly, what did Julie see in that Luke guy? Sure, they were part of the same band and worked well on stage together, but stage chemistry didn’t mean anything. That was like saying couples in movies were also a couple in real life. Him and Julie had so many nice conversations, but then suddenly Luke and his friends show up at their school and Julie was instantly part of their group with inside jokes and everything. As if she knew them in a past life. It was frustrating. They didn’t have to do anything to grab her attention! 

So Nick was very much confused. He wished he could ask her, but he knew she’d get offended. He didn’t like it when people questioned his relationship with Carrie and he’d prefer to maintain his limited rapport with Julie. 

Fifthly, he was failing history _hard_ when he was really trying and it was getting annoying. 

Nick shook his head, focusing back on the topic at hand: his history assignment. The library was filled with soft whispers and rustling books, students filing the tables with piles of homework and binders. He liked studying at school. For one, he could go to lacrosse practise immediately afterwards. Two, with four other siblings at home, this was literally the only quiet place he knew of. 

He was doing well, when all of a sudden, they walked in. 

Luke’s arm was slung around Julie’s shoulder as they took a seat at the far end of the library. If it were just Julie, he would’ve asked her to join him, but he couldn’t. Because Luke was there. His hand clenched around his pen. Nick couldn’t focus anymore, eyes glued on the image of them sitting together. A study date. Weren’t they tired of each other sometimes? Same school, similar classes, bandmates, and now they also _studied_ together? If he used to see Carrie for more than four consecutive hours he was _tired_. He looked back to his paper. 

Why couldn’t he get what he wanted? How come Luke waltzed into junior year and have Julie wrapped around him? And for them to still be like that a year later? 

Nick was confused. But as he took another glance at the pair, he guessed he should just accept it. For now. 

**\+ 1 JULIE AND LUKE**

_Tastes so sweet, looks so real_ _  
_ _Sounds like something that I used to feel_ _  
_ _But I can't touch what I see_

Luke crooned the lyrics deep into her eyes, softly playing the guitar as went. Months ago, Julie would’ve looked away, but not now. Now, she stared right back with an abashed smile on her lips. Luke had asked her to meet in the garage after school to workshop on a new song of his. She should’ve known he was just trying to impress her. And fuck, it was working. 

_We're not who we used to be_ _  
_ _We're not who we used to be_  
_We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me_ _  
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat_

‘It’s so different,’ she said after he finished, the last strums drifting into the afternoon air.

He scratched the back of his head. ‘Yeah. I don’t know. It’s…’ He gave her a hard look she didn’t quite understand. ‘I thought about what it would feel like if we ever broke up.’

Julie’s lips parted, heart dropping to the bottom of the earth. The mere _idea_ of breaking up with Luke never crossed her mind, yet he was so worried he wrote a whole song about it? Warmth spread from her cheeks to the rest of her body. He cared so much it made her ache. 

When a frown etched his forehead, she slipped her arms around his waist to ease his mind, pressing her head against his chest. She heard his heartbeat, regular yet fast, in sync with hers without even trying. How could he ever been worried about them? His arms tightened around her. She felt him smile. 

‘It’s a beautiful song, Luke. I’d love to work on it with you-’

‘Duet it with me?’

She laughed. ‘Sure.’ She looked up, brown locked on green. ‘But don’t be afraid to lose me. You won’t. I’m right here.’ 

Luke pressed his forehead against hers, smile so bright it made her lean in and kiss it. He kissed her back, a little longer. A little softer. His callous fingers curled into her hair, skin tingling underneath his touch. Julie felt so ridiculously silly and goofy and happy and heartstoppingly joyous whenever they were like this. Whenever nothing could stop them from falling into each other in a simple moment. Whether it was in an overcrowded hallway, a strip mall, a musty library, or Julie’s old couch - they had each other. One sentence, one word, a look, a gaze, a wink, a heartbeat. She was his and he was hers. 

‘I love you, Jules.’

‘I know.’

‘Hey!’

‘I love you too, idiot.’


	2. junior year of college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more outsider perspectives with college!juke because i'm trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell the chaotic energy radiating off of me? yes. i did just finish 50k of juke but WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO THEN WAIT FOR A SEASON TWO ANNOUNCEMENT? someone take google doc away from me. 
> 
> edited | not beta'd | find me on tumblr @lydias--stiles

> **GIRL**

A cute boy was standing next to her.

Well, not exactly. He was standing in the same room as her, and the fact that she was able to see him in the swarming crowd of dancing and drinking people, defacto meant he was standing next to her.

It was honestly a stroke of luck she has unearthed the one hot guy in this place. 

Olivia and Kate have dragged her to this frat party, and while she didn't like how obnoxious it was, she needed this. Away from that stupid essay that wasn't writing itself. So yeah, even if the boys from Kappa Kappa were absolute pigs and she had a nine am class tomorrow, she forced herself into a cute top and jeans after a week of sweatpants and decided to have some fun. She had arrived with the girls, but both were instantly taken away by their current flings. Olivia barely had the time to give her a solo cup with watery beer and _boom_ \- gone from her grasp. Trevor was an ass. She danced for a bit, but that got old pretty quick too. 

Just as she was ready to give up and sit outside in the cold with the cigarette-smokers, she saw him. The cute guy.

Hot guys in college were a treasure. They were either taken or a douchebag. He, on first glance, seemed neither. He was exactly her type: shaggy brown hair, toned arms and a killer smile. She also noticed how other girls were sneaking glances, ensuring her that her eyes weren’t deceiving her. He was a ten out of ten.

She hasn't seen him before though. Was he not a party-goer? Or did he go to another college? Maybe he was a transfer? Her interest piqued. 

She bit her lip. Should she talk to him? He was talking with a friend, an easy-going vibe around him. The friend was smoking a joint too, so they must be chill. (God, she was so done with those preppy boys from Econ.)

Besides, she had nothing to do anyway. Either sit outside or kiss a hot dude. The choice was easily made. With literally nothing to lose, she took a leap of faith.

She strode towards the boys and tapped on his shoulder, confident. He turned around, eyebrows raised in question.

She plastered a flirtatious smile on her face. 'Hi, I'm Rachel!'

The guy smiled back, earnest. Rachel relaxed; finding a guy that didn't give her the creeps was an absolute _gift_. Alright, she didn’t have to abort just yet. 

'Hey, I'm Luke.' He motioned at the guy next to him. 'This is Alex.'

Rachel nodded, recognising the blonde mop of hair and rugged denim jacket. 'Yeah, we have intro to psych together, right?'

'Oh, yeah! I never gave you your pen back!'

She shrugged. 'It's fine.' Zeroing back in on Luke, she added: 'I've never seen you at a party before. Do you go to school here?'

'Nah,' he grinned. 'College is not my thing.'

'Oh, really?' Her voice went an octave higher. It wasn't like she thought she was _better_ than people that didn't have a degree, but she _did_ feel better than people that did nothing with their life. 'What do you do then?'

'I'm in a band.' _Oh god, no._ 'I'm the lead guitarist, my boy Alex on the drums.’ He grabbed Alex from the side, grin turning cheeky. ‘We're fire!'

Rachel's smile became pressed. How many guys has she gone on a date with that based their entire personality around playing two chords on the guitar? Traumatic, truly. She remembered Alex tapping a beat during a lecture once, and that didn’t sound half bad. Maybe they were actually good, unlike those dates.

(Did it really matter though if she just wanted to make out?) 

(Yes, it did, she reminded herself. _Dignity_ , Rachel. Keep it.) 

'That's so cool!', she gushed, placing her hand on his arm. 'Have I heard of you guys?'

'If you're into rock,' Alex butted in.

'"Bright" got on the radio once!', Luke added, buzzing with excitement. It was kind fo adorable. He began humming the melody. Rachel couldn't quite hear it over the loud music, but she did notice his talent. It was catchy too. Or maybe she was just a little mesmerized by his wide, hazel eyes and charming smile. Perhaps both.

'That is, like, the song that catapulted us into rock legend status! The energy of that song, man, fucking amazing!' Luke was bouncing at this point. 

Rachel chuckled, squeezing his arm. 'It's so cute how passionate you are!'

He quirked a brow, sharing a flitting look with Alex that she second-guessed her words. She dropped her hand. Didn't guys like it when you complimented them? It's not her fault she didn't know his songs yet. God, she just wanted to kiss the guy! Take her stress away! She hasn't hooked up in months and it was beginning to frustrate her. Fuck it. Some guys just needed a nudge. 

She took a tentative step forward. 'So... I was thinking...'

No one would ever be able to end hear the end of her sentence, and thank God for that. Because just then, when her move made him take a subtle step back and Alex had to stifle a snicker, a crystalline voice yelled his name. 

'Luke!'

Rachel stumbled back as her head whipped to the left and watched as a bright-eyed girl came up to them. She had a large, purple puffer jacket on and hand-painted jeans, a yellow sun smacked on her thigh. The artsy type. She's seen her around campus sometimes. 

The girl was suddenly the center of attention with the boys grinning down at her. Rachel shifted, unsure how to react. Was this their friend? Girlfriend? Fling? Did she lose her shot? 

'Hi,' she said, because what the hell could she do otherwise? 

The girl noticed her and politely waved. 'Hi! I'm Julie! I love your top!' 

Rachel smiled. 'Thanks.’

'Luke.' Julie turned towards the boy, grinning from ear to ear like she just saw God or something. 'I figured it out. The ending? All we have to do is slow down the tempo and then I wrote this, like, entire new bridge that feels so visceral and so pure and exactly what we're trying to convey!'

Rachel blinked, processing literally nothing from what she just said. Bridge? Visceral? Was this a school thing? And if so, why did that have to be discussed at a frat party? She made a face.

But then Luke did something she didn't expect. 

Luke smiled back at her like she was the most beautiful thing on earth and cupped her jaw, pulling her close. ' _You_ are a freaking _genius_.'

Julie shrugged, coy. 'I know.'

'I wanna hear it right now.'

'You sure?' 

Alex waved dismissively, taking another hit from his splif. 'Eh, I don't mind. I'm warning you though, Luke's a little bit stoned and will literally like everything.'

Julie rolled her eyes. 'Nothing I'm not used too.'

Rachel watched as Luke slung his arm around Julie’s shoulder, kissed her temple and muttered something in her ear. She went red with embarrassment. Of course, he was taken. This just proved her entire theory: single hot guys didn’t exist! And Luke wasn’t just seeing Julie, she could tell he was very committed. Just from that small interaction alone she knew this wasn’t a simple one month old thing. Julie was part of the band too, Rachel reckoned. Or at least their songwriter.

Fucking great. She just wasted five minutes when she could've been getting a second drink. 

Luke grabbed his plaid shacket from the ratty couch and shrugged it on, the couple bundled up for the winter air outside. Rachel regarded how great they looked together. How her eyes were in line with his lips, how they had the same fond expression, how her skin contrasted well against his pale one. They fit.

Rachel was envious. 

'Bye Alex!' Julie kissed his cheek. 'Mwah! Love ya!' 

'Love you too!' He ruffled her hair. 

Her eyes crossed Rachel's, disarming and so kind Rachel had no reason to not like her. She wished Julie hated her. Just something to bitch about with her friends later. 

'Nice to meet you, uh...' 

'Rachel.' And _Rachel_ wanted to get the hell out of here. 

'Rachel,' Julie nodded. Luke dragged her away, tilting her head up and promptly kissing her on the lips. They disappeared into the crowd. Rachel sighed. Back to square one. 

An hand patted her shoulder. 'Eh, don't worry,' Alex quipped. Oh. Right. He witnessed everything - even better. 'You're not the first.'

She blushed. 'I swear I didn't know.'

He shrugged, smoke pluming around him. 'Luke's too oblivious to see when someone's flirting cause he’s head over heels for Jules. Like, he'd literally walk over hot coals for her. Don't take it personally, he's just... being Luke.'

She lifted her hand, and he wordlessly gave her the joint. She took a hit, eyes drooping. 'I just wanna to hook up with someone tonight.' Her mind whispered to get another drink. The haphazard conclusion of her essay was still taunting her. 

' _Oh_ , so Luke-' 

Rachel puffed. 'He seemed like the best option.' Please, as if she believed in the notion of soulmates. There was no such thing as crossing eyes with someone across the room and thinking _this is it_ . Then again, Luke and Julie had that fairytale romance her romcoms constantly gush about. She wasn’t fucking herself right? _Luke literally looked at her like she was the sun._

Alex clapped his hands, excited. 

'Boy, do I have a great prospect for you!', he exclaimed. He took back the joint and dragged Rachel next to him. 'See that guy over there? Leather jacket?' 

'Yeah?' 

'That's Reggie. I think you should try with him.'

'Are you sure?' She couldn't handle another rejection tonight. Her self-esteem could only take so much. 

'You're a hot girl, so yup.'

She grinned. 'Thanks Alex.'

‘No problem. Oh, hey! If you see a cute skater boy with long hair, could you please tell me? Thanks.’

(Rachel got lucky that night. She saw Julie the day after too, when she crawled out of Reggie’s bedroom and saw her standing at the stove making eggs. Reggie offhandedly told her he shared an apartment with his friends, but she didn’t realise that meant _Julie_. Or Alex for that matter, who was sitting on the couch watching cartoons with Luke. After an embarrassing revelation that they all live together and were able to fund an apartment because of their band, she snagged a piece of bacon from the pan, bid them goodbye and ran off to her class. Olivia and Kate were never going to let her live this one down.)

* * *

> **BOY**

It was hard not to like Julie Molina. 

He’s been in her class for two years now and at the dawn of junior year he felt that it was time to scrounge up some courage and just ask her out. There was a fifty fifty chance she’d say yes and he felt particularly good about his chance. Julie was nice.

He remembered the first time he saw her, seeing her head of dark curls without a second thought. The third time he saw her, she was in at the front belting a piece she had prepared for class. She was a breathtaking singer. Her range was otherworldly, her emotion unmatched, her musicality one to be envied. Safe to say she was one of the teacher’s favourite. Many weren’t sure why she even attended college if she was part of an already quite famous band. On the east coast at least. He’d seen them once at a bar downtown, but apparently the lead guitarist was sick that day and someone else had to stand in. It was a good show, but it wasn’t amazing per se. Except Julie. She was always amazing.

Yeah, he had a crush on her. 

When he got to college, he expected to have a slew of flings and non-committal relationships, but he genuinely wanted to date her. Wanted to duet with her - she always chose her own close friends for some reason. He’d cry out for the educational purposes of having _variety_ , but then he’d have to explain himself and he was not interested in confessing his puppy love crush to professor Amada. That was something only seniors dared to do.

Julie was just so cool. She was funny and smart and had amazing style and seemed like a genuinely good person. They’ve had a few conversations before - the music faculty wasn’t that big - but it never amounted to anything. 

But now it was junior year. He finally filled out and got a boost of confidence. He could do this. 

Class was is session, professor Green droning on and on about music history he swore they got in their first year and most kids texting their friends in clear sight. Eh. It was a five pm class anyway. 

He grabbed his phone too. 

**im gonna do it**

**i love how specific you are**

**fuck off** **  
****julie** **  
****im gonna ask her out**

 **for real?** **  
****lol okay** **  
****wait are you actually serious** **  
****tell me how it goes**

He cringed. He may or may not have texted the exact same thing about ten times over the course of his college career. But this time he wouldn’t chicken out! 

**yes really** **  
****ill tell you at the dorms**

**ok good luck**

Puffing out a nervous breath, he focused back on Green. Just thirty more minutes. 

It ended sooner than he thought though, so wrapped up in his anxious thoughts that he didn’t notice people standing up and dumping their laptops away. Julie sat in the front, taking her time placing everything in the right spot. He smiled. Time for action.

Jumping down the stairs, he got to her row and patiently waited for her to get ot the aisle. Julie looked up and smiled at the sight of him. His throat went dry. Oh fuck, she was too pretty. She was way out of his league. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 

‘Hey, Cameron,’ she greeted in passing. 

‘Hey, Julie,’ he said, scrambling to catch up with her. ‘How, uh, how are you?’

Her smile widened. ‘Good. Class was boring though, right?’

‘Yeah,’ he breathed. ‘Didn’t we get that in-’

‘Freshman year? I know!’

Oh man, she was finishing his sentences now too. That was fucking adorable. Aight, he had to make this quick or else he wouldn’t do it at all and Peter would make a fool of him forever. 

Julie kept talking. ‘How’re you doing with the project for Yasmina by the way? It’s kicking my _ass_ , I can’t seem to get the music right!’

‘Uh-’

‘I’m like: I get we have to learn how music is made in other cultures too, but I don’t know how to make a didgeridoo sound nice!’

‘Yeah, I-’

‘Anyway,’ she trailed off, making it to the ground floor. ‘I guess you’re doing better?’ 

‘I, uh, yeah. Kind of.’ Jesus Christ, could he say one thing without stuttering? It was bad enough they hardly talked, now she must think he was a weirdo! 

They made it to the front doors of Covington Hall, outside the loud chatter of people celebrating the end of the week. Fridays were the day he and his boys drank until they passed out. Whatever the outcome was, the black-out would be welcome.

She must’ve noticed his nerves though as she raised her brows expectantly, one hand on the doorhandle. 

‘Everything okay?’

He chewed the his cheek. Now or never, Cameron. ‘Yeah! Uh, look, Julie, I was wondering…’ 

‘Hey! Jules!’

From the line of doors, one bursted open revealing a boy about their age. His entire body was buzzing with pent up energy and unadulterated excitement. It nearly made Cameron take a step back. That kind of intensity was unseen in an afternoon college hall. 

Julie’s face brightened, an expression crossing her face he has never seen before as she sprinted towards him. 

‘You’re back!’, she squealed, jumping into his arms. _Oh._

The guy chuckled. ‘You didn’t think I’d be missing my girl singing a killer solo, right?’

Julie fell back to the floor, grinning up at him with so much adoration Cameron felt like he was intruding. 

Just as he was about to make a sneaky exit, saving himself from further embarrassment, the guy caught his gaze. He was far stronger than Cameron was, the biceps even bulging through his sweater, and he was _so not ready_ to beaten up. Fuck. Life really hated him, huh? 

‘Hi,’ the guy said, just as cheery as before. ‘I’m Luke!’

He weakly smiled back. ‘I’m Cameron.’

‘We’re in the music program together,’ Julie supplied. Then her eyes lit up, chin raised. ‘Sorry. You wanted to say something, right?’ 

_No, Julie_ he thought _no I don’t want to tell you I’ve been hopelessly crushing on you since I was a lanky eighteen year old._ He wished for them to go away so he could wallow by himself. 

‘Uh, nothing. The thought’s gone.’ He couldn’t look her in the eye. He didn’t know what was more embarrassing: the fact that Luke didn’t even see him as a threat and squared up or that he didn’t have the balls to just own up to his feelings. He took a glance at Luke, the guy still contently waiting for his next move.

He swallowed his pride and smiled at her. ‘I’ll, uh, see you Monday, Julie.’

She frowned. ‘Okay. See you Monday, Cameron.’

And then he watched them leave, Julie’s arms wrapped around his waist and his wrapped around her shoulder and _how the fuck did he not know she was in a relationship?_ Cameron slapped his forehead. He has liked her for three fucking years and not once did he realise she was taken. Not once. Did his friends know? If they did, he was going to murder them. His eyes were trained on the pair, slowly becoming smaller and smaller. He saw Julie stop Luke in his tracks and pull him in for a kiss, bodies flush together. 

Oh. So that was what heartbreak felt like. Awesome.  
He wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t. If Julie was happy, then he couldn’t bitch about it. Plenty of other girls in the sea, right?

Cameron sulked back to the dorms and prayed his friends would cut him some slack. 

(They didn’t. Peter did make a fool of him when he got to there. But then they blacked out with some bottles of vodka and off-brand lemonade and the lingering taste of microwave ramen, and everything seemed less horrible after that.)

(He did see Luke again a month later, when Julie invited him to one of her concerts and Luke was the lead guitarist. Everything made a lot of sense then. Their chemistry was electrifying, every glance and shared mic moment elevating the performance to another level. Cameron had been in awe. Afterwards, he congratulated her on the set and when she beamed back, he felt nothing but respect for her. No grudge, no bitterness. Julie and Luke made sense together. They fit.)

(Cameron would always double check if a girl was taken after that.) 


	3. the adolescent years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young twenty-somethings encounter Julie and Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know I need to update my other fic and that this is just a thing I sporadically do, but lemme just quickly *throws all this trashy fluff at you*
> 
> edited | not beta'd | tumblr @lydias--stiles

> **HARRY**

She was looking at strawberries. 

He felt like a fucking creep staring at this woman in the store, but look - he'd been at his desk writing his thesis for days and he hasn't gone out in... literally forever. Man, that was pathetic. 

But he hasn't gone out and therefore hasn't seen a pretty girl in ages. There she stood, inspecting the strawberries and deliberating which plastic basket to take, and she was just _adorable_ . Long curly hair, slender features, a timid smile. The tote slung on her shoulder suggested she went to UCLA. She was either still a student or just graduated. An older alum would never wear their uni merch - no one wanted people to think they _peaked_ in college. 

Should he approach her? She didn't seem the type to bite his head off. Maybe he could discuss strawberries with her. He made a face. Is this what his life has resulted to? Awkward small talk with pretty college girls at age 24?

Fuck it. 

'They're in season?', he perked up. She looked up, her brown eyes widening in surprise a stranger felt like talking in a Whole Foods at eleven am on a Saturday. 

She recovered fast. It was kind of cute. 'Uh, yeah. I'm trying to find the biggest ones.'

He nodded, keeping his gaze on the cooler. 'How do you like to eat em?' 

She grinned, a small gap between her front teeth. Her entire face brightened just like that. Oh, man. Pretty and disarming? Between the cantaloupes and oranges? This was so much better than cursing about his index for his orthopedic thesis. 

'Ooh, either melted dark chocolate or heating up some brown sugar and get that caramel.' She tutted her lips as if she tasted it right now, making him chuckle. 

'I'll try it out,' he said and then panicked. Shit. What else could he say? How extensive was the strawberry discourse? 

She pressed a polite smile on her lips and grabbed a basket. 'Well... have fun, uh, experimenting.' Dropping it in her cart, she pointed at the peaches. 'Peaches are also in season. Some yoghurt and honey - really great.'

A way in! 'Are you a chef or something?', he asked, smiling a little too eager. The fact that she continued the conversation was a good sign, right? 

'No.’ Peering, she added: ‘Do you always ask people's occupation at Whole Foods?' 

He flushed red. Oh, shit. Abort mission. 'Sorry, I didn't mean to overstep.'

But then exasperation crossed her face, as if suddenly remembering something. 'Crap, Reggie would hate it if I didn't promote the band. Hi, I'm in a band.' She made a show of wiggling her hands like jazz hands and then rolled her eyes. He was a little starstruck. 

A pretty girl with fruit knowledge _and_ part of a band? Nope. She was too cool for him. He was deeply uncool and that just registered. 

She continued, unfazed by his internal meltdown about his societal ranking. 'Julie and The Phantoms. Maybe you've heard of us?' 

The red on his cheeks didn't falter. 'Uh, no. You're Julie, then?' 

And when she nodded, he was officially way over his head. This girl was in a band with her name up front, meaning _she_ was what attracted people to come and listen. Couldn't he have risked flirting with a girl in the soda aisle or something? The cereal aisle probably had plenty of cute girls.

'I'm Harry,' he blurted, unprompted. 

Julie simply nodded, that look of: _alright, stranger, let's move along and not catch each other's eye if we cross again_ , indicating the conversation was well and truly over. 

He took a breath. Alright. Fuck it. Leap of faith, Harry. Three, two, one-

'I know this is abrupt, but-' 

'Look, Jules! They have a new Oreo flavour!'

Julie and Harry's head whipped to their left, an enthusiastic guy running out of the cookie aisle while shaking the infamous Oreo box in the air. She chuckled, her body loosening the tension it previously had. He didn't notice until now.

The man chucked it in the cart and Harry tried to not let his heart sink in his stomach from intense embarrassment. He could be a friend, a classmate, a cousin, one of her band members! He shouldn't lose hope just yet.

He didn't even see Harry, eyes zeroed in on Julie. 'Pecan fucking brownie. With sprinkles.'

She scrunched her nose. 'How do they come up with these combinations?'

He swiped her cheek, dopey smile while looming over her. Oh. That was unplatonic as shit.

'Don't act like you don't like pecan pie,' he teased. 'You were literally frothing at the mouth watching Nigella Lawson two days ago.'

She pressed her finger into his chest, the grin on her face infectious. They were standing way too close for an eleven am grocery run and Harry wanted to fucking die. Mortified, he grabbed the cart handle and threw a "nice to meet you" over his shoulder. He heard her say it back, but he had disappeared behind the bakery station by then. 

Unfortunately, he saw them again another three times and each time he cringed at how fucking stupid he was. Pretty girls shopping at Whole Foods were never single and he should've known better. 

The first time he stood on the other side of the wine rack and heard them bicker about which bottle to pick. 

'Luke, I'm not drinking red wine called "Vampire Tears" for our five year anniversary.'

'Julie.'

'I _vehemently_ refuse.'

'Compromise: we get really drunk on multiple bottles and then-' He whispered something into her ear and raised his eyebrows. Her eyes shimmered with mirth, intrigued. 

'I like that. Fine.' She dropped it in the cart. ‘"Vampire Tears" it is.’

He kissed her on the cheek. 'Love you.'

About to make a sarcastic retort based on the look she was making, she suddenly softened and pecked his sleeveless arm. She didn't say anything, but anyone that caught their interaction - including Harry - knew what was unsaid. 

(He tried to get with a girl that was either in a very committed relationship or _married_. Ha. That was a first. That definitely wasn't on his yearly bingo card.)

The second time she snatched a cereal box from a shelf and raised her brows suggestively, Luke groaning and flashing his middle finger. She grinned, plopped it in the cart and stuck her tongue out. An inside joke that... didn't even need words. What. 

The third and, fortunately, final time, they stood next to him at self-checkout. He hoped his hair hid his face enough. 

'You're really not gonna tell me what you're making?', Julie pleaded. 

'Nope,' Luke quipped. 'But you're gonna be like: "Oh my God, Luke, that's so hot. Please, let me kiss you".' He made this high-pitched voice and dramatic hand gestures. Julie was unimpressed. 

She scanned a pot of pesto. 'Because I don't? Kiss you? Every day?' 

Luke pouted. 'Can I not have these fantasies?'

She paused. 'You're lucky you're cute.'

'Are you still pretending it's just my looks that did it?' 

She reached up and kissed his cheek. 'It's funny when new people come over because they genuinely believe it sometimes.'

 _Come over_. They lived together. Oh, man. He couldn't scan his products fast enough. Harry has never been this quick. He wanted to slam his face on the scanner for his stupidity. Did he even deserve his fucking diploma if he just took the biggest L of the school year? 

Luke bounced on his heels. 'I bought a Swiffer yesterday. Like, not a knock off. That's what's gonna impress folks from now on.'

They high fived and kept their fingers entwined. 'We're adulting the hell out of life,' she cheered. Luke kissed her hand, Julie tapping her credit card against the register with the other. 

Harry fumbled with his bag of pretzels. Could he not do anything fucking right today? 

They passed by him with their filled grocery bags, not noticing his figure, and left him with his embarrassment. Alright. No more thesis for him today. He was gonna wallow in his own cringe for the rest of the day and eat from his chocolate drawer while he watched M*A*S*H. 

As he walked to his car, he did admit to himself how nice they looked together. That he wished something like that for himself one day. He didn't know either of them, Julie for barely a minute, but he could tell they were _it_ for one another. 

Maybe he should start paying attention to those romcoms his sister watched. Huh. Might come in handy.

> **ASTRID**

He hasn’t looked up from his notebook. 

They’ve been on the train for three hours and he’d either been scribbling in his notebook or switched songs on his phone. No pause, no nap, no aimless Instagram scrolling. Writing and bobbing his head to his music. 

She was also pretty sure he was the hottest guy she’s ever seen. Sculpted face, brown hair peeking from beneath his orange beanie, pretty eyes, a plaid wool jacket that did nothing to conceal his nice physique. A pensive frown right between his brows that made him all the more attractive. She never thought she’d be into the brooding type, but here she was. 

Should she talk to him? She knew it was kind of rude to try and start a conversation when someone was listening to music, but it really felt like some sort of sign. They were one of the few people in this wagon, both were alone, he was the dreamiest guy and she felt like connecting with someone. Her last relationship ended five months ago and perhaps it was time to take the plunge again. 

And if he rejected her approach: no harm no foul. The train was rolling into the end station in ten minutes anyway. 

She stood up, steadied herself, and carefully took the fated three steps. She tapped his shoulder. 

‘Hi,’ she said, hoping she didn’t sound too eager. 

Startled, he looked up, headphones falling from his head and landing in an awkward position around his neck. Despite this, he was _still_ attractive. Blue irises, pronounced lips. Hot as hell. She has made the right decision. 

‘Uh,’ he mustered a smile, ‘hey.’

She nodded at the seat opposite of him. ‘Can I sit?’

He frowned, eyes flickering to his opened notebook, but then shrugged. ‘Sure. I guess I could use a break.’ Closing the book shut, he motioned at her to sit down. 

‘I, uh, saw you sitting alone and I thought that you’d maybe want some company,’ she chirped, hoping there was right amount of ease and charisma in her tone. ‘I’m Astrid.’

He matched her smile. ‘I’m Luke.’

Luke. Of course his name was Luke. Luke and Astrid. It didn’t sound half-bad. ‘What were you writing in there?’

A mischievous grin made her heart stammer. She keenly reminded herself these types of guys were _not_ the brooders, but the enigmatic popular dudes she stared at in bars. ‘Lyrics. I’m a musician.’

Now _this_ became interesting. Her head leaned against her hand. ‘You are? What do you play?’

He pointed at the guitar case strapped with his luggage above him. ‘Guitar. What’re you going to LA for?’

Him asking about her was good sign, right? Her smile widened. ‘I live there. Go to Oregon for college. But, what I meant to say was, like, where do you play?’

‘Oh! I’m part of a band!’ He leaned forward as if to tell her a secret, pressing his finger into the table. ‘If you wanna watch a gig during break, you should go to Tony’s. We rock the house down every Saturday!’

She gasped. ‘I love Tony’s! I miss it so much when I’m up north. I’ve found the best rock bands when I’m there.’

Tony’s was a greasy pub in downtown LA pub only locals frequented. Mostly old men played their forlorn metal bands, but every so often a gem of band came by and blew people's minds. It was rumoured The Simple Minds got their start there, but Astrid thought that was just a ploy to get clients. Whatever. The bar was her baby and she missed joking with the regulars. The fact that this heartthrob of a guy loved Tony’s too… was she dreaming? 

‘Bro, it’s so fun.’ His grin was infectious, Astrid leaning in more with her arms on the little table. ‘Real fucking Californians.’

She smirked. ‘I should come and watch.’

Stilling for a second, as if he was registering that she was indeed flirting ( _take a hint!_ ), he looked back down at his phone. ‘Uh, if you’re into rock, you should listen to FIDLAR or uh, Nothing But Thieves. They just released a new album.’

Astrid hummed, pleased at how incredible this conversation was going. She’d go to Tony’s and bump into him again and have some drinks and talk all night and it would be perfect. Her friends would say she was bluffing about this meet-cute. She hardly believed it herself. 

‘I’ll check them out.’ 

After, they casually exchanged more music recommendations, her more flirtatious and him deflecting said avances. She supposed that was a hint for her to stop, but she had to lay _some_ groundwork for Saturday. Have it be fun and open-ended so the conversation could be picked up again! 

The train slowed down in Union Station. Something changed in his body the moment it did, she noticed. He sat up straighter and bounced his knee and tapped his thumb against the table. It unnerved her, but she supposed he also hadn’t seen someone in a while. They were both locals, maybe his bandmates were waiting on him. His parents. She froze. Oh, shit. He didn’t have a girlfriend, right? 

The second it came to a jolting halt and the doors spurred open, Luke rocketed from his seat and flung his luggage over his shoulder, sprinting out of the aisle. Astrid, stunned, sat paralysed for a second. Yikes. Was she really that bad? Disgruntled, she went back to her seat and grabbed her stuff. Maybe she should reconsider going to Tony’s. 

She went down the little steps of the train and landed on the platform. It was busy, the holidays fast approaching. She wasn’t the only college student coming home, many kids her age turning to their parents and giving them a bear hug. Craning her neck, she tried to catch sight of him again, when someone did it for her. 

‘Luke!’

A young woman’s voice called out his name and right at that time, she saw how Luke heard it too, ran towards her like his life depended on it, threw his bags on the ground and lifted her in his arms. Oh. Oh, shit. She embarrassed herself for ten consecutive minutes. Wonderful.

Luke twirled the girl around like they did in those freaking romcoms with the brightest, dopiest smile on his face. The girl, golden skin and gleaming curls, looked down at him reverendly. He placed her down and caressed the skin on her cheeks. She laughed and wiped right beneath his left eye. They were crying. Oh, shit. This was not some simple relationship. They could literally be married for all she knew. 

As she also had to go that way, because the universe hated her, she heard pieces of conversations the closer the got. 

‘I missed you so much,’ the girl breathed. 

He chuckled, endeared. ‘I was only gone for a week.’

‘Still.’ The girl teasingly pulled his beanie over his eyes and kissed him. Alright. She was never going to talk to a guy on a train again. ‘As if you didn’t completely fall apart when I went to Maine last month.’

‘Jules, Maine is the _east_ coast.’ He pushed his beanie back up. ‘That’s, like, the other side of the world.’

‘It’s a three hour flight.’

‘Are we really gonna talk about this right now?’ Pressing his forehead against hers, their condensed breaths mixed in a laugh.

‘No,’ Jules smiled, softer. Astrid just has to take a few more steps and she’d be gone from the misery. ‘Let’s go home and catch up on all those hugs.’

‘Now we’re talking!’

As Astrid was waiting for her Uber and was released from that intense display of affection, she realised she learned a few things in the span of fifteen minutes:

> 1) Don’t talk to cute boys with cute smiles and cute orange beanies. Ever. 
> 
> 2) She hated cuffing season.
> 
> 3) This was what love was supposed to look like and she would never settle for anything less.


	4. the adolescent years - part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Tony's is the place to find a lover. Unfortunately, two in particular are taken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has basically become therapy. enjoy. also certainly not me yearning to go back to a bar and make a fool of myself in front of guys. definitely not.

> **GWENN**

Smokers were never quite her thing. Always outside in the cold, always a weird smell - but he was pretty attractive, so she guessed there was a first for everything. She was also pretty drunk. Liquid courage always made her take her wildest decisions (her first kiss, first time, first tattoo, and so forth), she supposed hooking up with a smoker could be fun. Eh. Let her try for a second. 

'Hi,' she smiled flirtatiously, the door and the loud noise falling shut. 

His vacant gaze went from the busy LA streets to her. 'Hey. Want a cig?' 

She nodded. 'Yeah, thanks.'

He dug in his pocket and reached his packet towards her, tapping at the bottom. Despite her aversion to smokers, she was jealous sometimes how they were probably the most sociable creatures ever. Always ready for a chat or to be a helping hand. Whatever. She'd pretend to be one too now. 

'Thanks,' she muttered. He grabbed his lighter and lit it for her. 

He smiled, face instantly becoming more attractive because of it. Despite the colder March night, he was in a thin, black t-shirt. He nodded at the rowdy people behind them. 'Not liking the bar?' 

'Just had to go outside for a sec, too much people,' she said, pretending she hadn't been looking at him for five minutes straight before she mustered said liquid courage to talk to him. 'I'm Gwenn.' 

Grey plumes of smoke circled around him. 'I'm Luke. And I fucking love Tony’s.' He leaned towards her. 'If you wanna free drink, you can tell Eric I sent you.'

She giggled. 'Why?' 

'Smoker to smoker, dude,' he drawled. 'We're a tribe.'

'No, why would I get a free drink?' 

'Oh!' He looked at the scorching end for a second and then she realised he was also a bit gone. Glassy eyes, more weight against the wall. She tried to keep her balance too, looking as put together as possible. Did he like a leather pants on girls? 

'I'm in a band. Play here every weekend. We get like, a discount.'

'That's so cool!' 

'You didn't see us tonight?' 

She shrugged. 'I pregamed. Arrived like-' She blinked. 'Thirty minutes ago.' Or an hour? Longer? How late was it? 

He threw the stump on the ground, voice aimless in the night air. 'You missed out, dude. We have the voice of the motherfucking century.'

She edged closer. Time to strike. 'Well, maybe…’ 

'Luke!' A girl stumbled out of the bar, wobbly feet and baring teeth as she yelled his name, beaming. She was sweaty and reeked like vodka. Oof. If Gwenn was drunk, this girl was  _ wasted _ . 

She thought she'd have to experience a weirded out Luke trying to creep away from the girl, but much to her surprise, he did the opposite. The girl fell into his body, his glassy eyes focusing and fixing themselves on the curly-haired girl, fond. 

Gwenn took a step back. Either she was a really close friend or a girlfriend. She took an unsure puff of her cig. 

The girl placed her chin on his chest, eyes wide.

'Let's do more shots!' 

'Julie.'

She drummed his shoulders, writhing against his body to tease him. 'Shots, shots, shots!'

Could she run away right now? Ugh. Reputation more important than embarrassment, she ripped her eyes from the couple and stared at the street. Awesome job, Gwenn. 

Luke laughed. 'Reggie is a bad influence.'

She quirked a brow. 'And you're not? Ha!' Reaching up and pecking his lips, she added sluggishly: 'You're super bad cause you made me fall for you and you didn't even have to  _ try _ . I'm suing.'

If Luke hasn’t gone completely soft by Julie’s words, then he was a sociopath. Even Gwenn withheld to coo. She looked at them from the corner of her eye. 

Luke held her cheeks, grin stretching across his face and smile lines breaking his skin. 

'You're drunk as shit.'

'You're not gonna say it back?'

The smile became more private, fingers trailing from her cheeks to her neck and across her curls.

'You know I love you,' he muttered and then, with a wink. 'You make a pretty cute fiancée.'

Her arms slung around his neck, noses nudging. 'Which means... you'll do shots with me?'

His resolve waned, hands slapping the small of her back. 'Aight. One round!' 

'Yes!', she squealed, kissing him once more and dragging him back inside. 'Reggie! Shots!'

His head jerked over his shoulder. 'Bye, uh, Gwenn!' 

She saluted back, weakly. Alright, she was never going try and mould herself into a persona again. Pretending to smoke for hot dudes no more! Ha. Not even a hot dude - a hot fiancé. Meh. She threw it on the ground. Plenty of semi-good looking guys and gals to find on the dance floor. Get your cute butt back inside, Gwenn! 

> **DANIEL**

'Daniel,' he yelled over the music and stuck his hand out. 

The girl looked to her right, shiny skin and big eyes and long, glossy curls down her back. A silky, red top tucked in jeans. She was a ten out of ten. 

'Julie!' She shook his hand. 

'What're you getting?' Daniel nodded at the bartenders on the other side, both waiting for their turn. Julie was leaning against the counter, clearly not sober and trying to seem composed. Didn’t matter. He’d been drinking for hours too. 

'Uh...' She blanked. He chuckled. 'What're you getting?' 

'Margarita.' The drink was very out of place for a bar like Tony's, but sometimes he just craved that salty rim and the twang of lemon. It wasn't unattractive, right? 

Julie nodded, pensive. 'That sounds good,' she mused. 'Hmph, I can't choose! What're you suggesting? I’m like, torn between another beer or to have like, a really fruity cocktail.'

'Oh, go for the cocktail,' Daniel grinned. More time to talk to this beauty and hopefully score a dance or a kiss. 'Live a little.'

She laughed. 'You're right.'

The bartender came their way, him ordering his margarita and she a strawberry mojito. When he left to make it, Daniel drummed his fingers against the sticky counter. 'So, what do you do for a living?' 

She propped her head on her fist, an aimless look on her face. 'Oh, I'm in a-' 

A sudden arm snaked around her waist and pulled her flush against their side. The abrupt motion made Daniel grimace. 

'Dude, what the-!' 

'Oh, hey,' Julie breathed and met the guy halfway for a kiss that was way too inappropriate for when one was waiting for their drink to be made. Daniel's words stumped in his mouth.

Julie placed a hand on his back, head on his chest as she muttered something. That was when he noticed it. To be fair, it looked like simple, silver jewellery, not that usual pizzazz with the diamonds and the crystals. In sight, both wore the same silver ring of the same width with the same curving indent. Very simple, but the realisation made him roll his eyes at his own avances. Whether it was a promise ring (barf), engagement ring or wedding ring, Julie was taken - over and out. To a man that reeked of jealousy, but taken nonetheless.

Proving his point, the guy's gaze flitted from Julie's spiel to him for a second, so viscerally dirty Daniel was pretty sure the gods were gonna strike him with thunder. Jeez. If looks could kill...

The guy's hand slipped even further down, meanwhile Daniel was just fucking waiting for that cocktail to be finished and to  _ not  _ be killed. Fuck margarita's. From now on, only beer and straight liquor. 

And then he heard it. 

'Luke, you don’t have to be my body guard. I can take care of myself.'

The man, Luke, brought her even closer to keep him from eavesdropping. Unfortunately for all, the bar was so loud they had to be loud too. 

'You're drunk, Julie, and he was coming onto you.' 

'He wasn't.' She rolled her eyes. 'You don't have to be jealous. It's not as cute as you think.'

'I'm sorry… but you can't blame me for wanting to protect you?' 

Her grin became teasing. 'Whose ring am I wearing on my finger?' 

Luke chuckled and weaved their fingers together. 'Mine.'

'Which means...' She moved to sit on the barstool to which she was leaning first and pulled him between her legs. 'I'm yours.'

The second they began making out, his margarita arrived, Daniel threw more money on the counter than was needed and sprinted the hell away from them. Making someone’s fiancé jealous was not on his bingo card for 2027. 

His eye caught another hot girl dancing by herself, leather pants and having the time of her life. No ring on her finger. Daniel took a gulp and went for it.

(Really couldn't get more embarrassing than encountering an engaged couple, right?) 

> **DRUNK LUKE AND A VERY VERY VERY DRUNK JULIE**

'That was fun.' Julie staggered inside the apartment, flinching as Luke flicked on the lights. She dropped on the couch with a moan. 'Too bright! Luke!' 

He laughed and dimmed them, the harsh yellow melting to a soft hue. She sighed. That was  _ marginally _ better. 

'Luke, come here…!' 

He kept laughing at her antics and plopped down next to her, Julie crawling into his sweaty t-shirt. 

'Tonight was fun,' she repeated, softer. 

He weaved his fingers through her matted hair. 'It was.' And then, 'Pretty hot what you did at the bar.'

She puffed, amused. 'Because you were pretending to be this jealous guy, my soft-hearted Lukas.' 

Luke kissed her cheek, nose pressed against her skin. 'I am  _ actually  _ sorry about that.'

'It's alright. I was kind of jealous too.'

Blinking incredulously, he tried to catch her eye. She looked up at him, sheepish. 

'When?!' 

'Outside,' she whined. 'That cute girl with the cute pants.'

'I gave her a cig.'

'She was flirting, Luke.'

'She was smoking.'

'She was…’ She heaved herself upright and gave him an intent look. 'Flirting.'

A smirk fell on his lips. Alright. His ego was stroked. He had no idea the girl had been flirting and he definitely didn't get the cue Julie was trying to whisk him away from said girl because of jealousy. He had just been outside for a breather. 

He pecked her lips. 'Then you did a good job cause I had no clue.'

Julie leaned in when he wanted to pull away. 'Because your type of flirting is very loud and very obnoxious,' she whispered against his mouth. She smelled like vodka and rum and the thrill of performing a great set. 

His nose nudged against hers. 'I love you.'

'I hope so. I love you too.'

'Drunk Julie is way too brash.'

'I bet you think it's hot.'

'Maybe.'

She hummed, eyes glimmering with mirth. Patting his chest, she said: 'I'm gonna grab that cheese platter from the fridge.'

Luke grinned and watched as she stumbled upright. 'Right now?' 

'Tonight is the night, Luke.'

'It's four am.'

She bend over the back of the couch, index finger pointed at him. He dutifully kept his eyes on her face. 'I'll let you dip the brie in peanut butter.'

She got him there. 'Aight, get it!'

Julie laughed and staggered towards their kitchenette, flinging her heels off as she went. He looked over his shoulder, a rush of fondness coursing through him at the sight of his beautiful girl - his beautiful fiancée - humming a familiar tune to herself as she looked for the cheese. 

'Are you singing ABBA?' 

She whirled around, the peanut butter jar as a mic. Her glee was blinding. 'I wasn't jealous before we met! Now every woman I see is a potential threat!' Quirking her brow, he felt heat pool beneath his skin as he listened to her words. Of all the songs, she  _ had  _ to tempt him with this one. 

He jumped up, never one to back out of an ABBA session, and caught her in the kitchen. He placed the jar on the counter and grabbed her by the waist. 

'And I'm possessive, it isn't nice,' he sang. Her eyes betrayed a challenging desire. 'You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice.' 

Grinning, she slung her arms around his neck. Their bodies swayed together. 'But now it isn't true…’ Her voice was low, her face so close he was sometimes still in disbelief she was his. ‘Now everything is new…'

His hands tightened, him muttering against her lips. 'And all I've learned, has overturned… I beg of you…' 

And then, before she could reply with the chorus, he made a loud, scatting sound mimicking the instrumentals and hoisted her up. She shrieked out a laugh, head thrown back in surprise as he jogged towards the bedroom.

'Luke!' 

'Cheese can wait, babe!' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song used: "Lay All Your Love On Me" // ABBA (because... it's ABBA and it's hot and it fit them perfectly this chapter)


	5. junior year of high school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where it all started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you all know (i think? i think i've mentioned it), i write on the train. these are love-induced train daydreams. as usual. enjoy. 
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **ALEX**

There were a few things Alex loved about the move from LF Public to LF Arts.

1) They let him and his dumbass friends enrol in junior year, which was a feat in itself. All three boys had been done with LF Public and LF Public had certainly been done with them. Luke got into fights with teachers and classmates, Reggie pulled pranks whenever he could and Alex was just downright miserable. Their one good teacher, mister Gregory from music they had one hour a week, encouraged them to transfer. "You guys have a band! That should be nurtured! Try and convince your parents." They did, somehow, and all of sudden on August 26th they stood at the front gates of LF Arts.

2) Willie was a boy that existed when Alex was pretty sure he only ever dreamt about him. It was the first week at LF Arts when Luke and Reg went to the skate park nearby and there, as Alex was watching, did senior boy Willie decide to maul him with his board. They've been in a tentative texting relationship ever since. Which was what, about two months now? The fact that Willie even thought about texting his anxious ass (his  _ seven months younger  _ ass) surprised him every day. Especially when he woke up to a new enthusiastic thread about whatever Willie was excited about that week. (So yeah, he had a big massive crush on this guy. What about it.)

But most importantly:

3) His friends were happy again. Reggie was fucking popular, being friends with every clique at the school, even the graffiti kids all the way in the visual arts department. That overly enigmatic boy perfectly fit within the big personalities of LF Arts. And Luke, well...

He has been on cloud nine ever since he met Julie.

The same week that Alex met Willie, they also found Julie. She was in the music room belting out this amazing Rihanna song and they were floored. She became even more incredible when she mentioned she wrote her own songs which held equal, if not more power, to the Rihanna songs. They were kind of obsessed with her and instantly begged her to be friends with them. Or rather: Reggie and Luke begged, though Alex was just as happy to have a girl in their group. With Julie came Flynn, and her edge just made it all the better.

But Luke. He was a goner before he himself knew it.

It was Halloween. The group was planning to go to Nick's party and were pretty amped. Apparently he threw the best ones of all the upperclassmen! They were sprawled in Julie's garage/about to be studio once they begged her enough to let Sunset Curve use it, waiting for Luke and Julie to come and showcase their costume. Luke had asked Julie to match with him, which was a major fucking hint either seemed to ignore for some reason. Whatever. Alex was dressed as Prince (like,  _ the _ Prince) and Reggie as Where’s Waldo because he lived for that type of attention. They'd meet Flynn at the party. He was pretty sure she'd be rocking that Beyonce inspired fit they found on Pinterest.

Julie's head popped through the door, giddy. 'Ready?'

Reggie made jazz hands. 'Blow us away!'

They jumped inside, Julie looking adorable as ever and Luke looking equally hilarious as adorable. His friends were dweebs. Tinker Bell and Peter Pan - really? 

'You know Tinker Bell doesn't sing, right?', Alex drawled. 

She crossed her arms, looking the least threatening with fairy wings and green glitter on her cheekbones. 'She loses her power when people don't believe in her and you guys believe in me, don't you?' 

Luke slung an arm around her shoulder. 'Hell yeah we do.'

The boy wore a loose, green tunic, a green beanie, tan drawstring pants and Reggie's boots. He even let Julie put some green glitter on his temples too. The girl was in a short, green dress, the wings, her hair in that signature bun, and green Converse. 

AKA, they were wearing a couple's costume. 

Julie locked eyes with Luke and matched his grin. 'Thank you,' she said, too soft to be taken platonic. Alex smirked. So oblivious. 

'So we're ready to go then?', Reggie asked. 

'Yes!' Julie clapped her hands. 'I won't be drinking so I'll stay DD.'

'Oh, I won't be drinking either,' Luke quipped. 

Her smile widened. 'Great. Let's go, boys.' She took off towards the driveway, Alex catching up with Luke and batting his eyes at him. He rolled his eyes and pushed Alex's face away. 

'Moon eyes, dude.'

'Shut up. Can't be happy Julie wants to costume with me?' 

Alex deadpanned. 'As Peter Pan and Tinker Bell.'

He quirked a brow. 'Your point?' 

'Tinker Bell loves Peter Pan.'

Luke stilled for a second, registering his words and poorly hiding the way his cheeks turned a shade of pink. His walk held the same swagger as before (if one could call bouncing on their heels as... swagger), but there was a slightly nervous energy as he clambered inside the back seat next to Reggie. Alex, smug, sat shotgun. It has riled Luke up to no end, though it was only because Julie and Alex had a similar taste in music. A grumbling Luke might be the funniest concept in existence. Despite that, he wondered how long it would take for them to talk about it.

(Then again, he was nervous as shit to see Willie at the party. Oh, man. That guy was way too cool for him. He'd probably wear, like, a really cool costume referencing a really cool obscure artist and  _ he'd _ look like the real fool. Fuck.)

Luke shook his shoulders from behind. 'Excited for Willie?'

'Maybe,' he muttered.

Julie cooed, rolling onto the street. 'You guys are so cute. What is he wearing?'

'I don't know actually.' Ugh. What if Willie wanted to costume with him? Maybe Luke wasn't so idiotic after all. 

Reggie gasped. 'You think he'd fool people into thinking he's Tony Hawk?!'

Alex turned in his seat. 'Tony Hawk is old and white.'

'Oh.' Reg sulked. 'Right.'

The party was a rager. Every upperclassman had kept their evening free to attend Nick's party and it was packed. Any costume imaginable was there and filled Nick’s house to the brim with life. Music boomed throughout the entire street. No inch - the kitchen, living room, basement yard - was left untouched. He was glad Nick was smart enough to keep the upstairs blocked. 

They were in the eye of the storm. It was the dark, hazy living room with strobe lights and a killer Spotify playlist where all four (including Flynn) were bouncing off the walls. And every time Julie laughed, Luke zeroed in on her. Alex caught Flynn's eye, the girl smirking knowingly. At least he wasn't alone in dealing with this.

Reggie, Flynn and him got out of the swarming buzz of dancers to breathe, keenly aware Luke and Julie were now by themselves. Flynn grabbed his sleeve. 

'I know you're trying to find Willie, but I need someone to watch our new ship with.'

'Agreed,' Alex laughed, noticing how Reggie had fluttered away to another group. 

It was obvious something changed when they felt like they were alone. Amongst the thrill of music and colour and dozens of wild classmates, Luke and Julie's smiles became private. 

'Come on, Jules,' Flynn whispered. 

'Who's gonna make a move first?' 

'Oh, Julie, for sure. I raised her better than to wait for a sign from a boy.'

He high fived her. 'Good job.'

'Thanks.'

And then it happened. Julie's expression shifted to one of doe-eyed confidence and slung her arms around his neck. Luke took the hint and grabbed her by the waist. They danced just as enthusiastically as before, but closer. Much closer. 

'Ha!', Flynn exclaimed. 'Vindication! Alright, I'm going to find Kayla. Good luck with Willie!' 

'Thanks,' he smiled and watched her disappear within the crowd. Nerves pricked his skin. Time to find Willie and not die from the exhilaration of having him do that cute little grin. 

(He saw Julie and Luke three times after. The first was when Julie was talking to "James Bond"-Nick in the kitchen and Luke had his arm around her shoulder like he was her boyfriend. The second was back on the floor, megawatt smiles and pulling one another in a convoluted dance of spins and turns. The third time was on one of the couches in the basement, Luke talking in her ear over the loud music and fiddling with the short sleeve of her dress, while her legs were practically in his lap. Her hair was out of the bun and both looked kind of mesmerised having the other so close. It was fucking obvious to anyone watching they were crushing hard. It made him wonder if they were already together and just  _ forgot  _ to tell someone.)

It was after midnight (two am? maybe?) when a drunk Reggie and slightly boozed up Alex piled in the backseat. Despite Julie's words, Luke was behind the wheel. They all looked like a train hit them: dishevelled and sweaty and exhausted.

'That... was the best fucking party...', Reg slurred, head sagging.

'Water for you when we're home again,' Julie teased. Her mischievous gaze fell on Alex. 'Did my eyes deceive me or did I see a Moment between you and Willie like two hours ago?'

Alex groaned, hands covering his face. 'I embarrassed myself!'

'You didn't! Luke, tell him he didn't!'

The boy grinned at her and then at him through the rear-view mirror. 'You didn't, Alex. Willie was all over you. You choking on a tequila suicide must be a turn on.'

'Fuck. You.'

They all fell into a fit of laughter, Julie suddenly tapping Luke's arm excitedly. His free hand grabbed it. 'Yeah?'

'Let's get ice cream! Or shakes! Who's in?'

'Aye!', Reggie yelled.

If Alex ever thought Luke would be able to deny her, he was sorely mistaken. One look at her and he switched lanes. He wondered if Julie knew Luke was lactose intolerant.

They stopped at a 24/7 Baskin-Robbins. The dude behind the counter looked ready to die when the four hyped up kids ran inside. Alex kind of felt guilty until he saw there was still brownie flavour left. Best idea Julie has ever had to date. 

While Reggie was listing off all the toppings for his strawberry ice cream, Julie's head was leaning against Luke as they looked at the flavours behind the glass. Alex was standing next to them, but for some reason couldn't hear what they were whispering about. 

With her cheek still on his arm, Julie said: 'Alex, tell Luke he's a terrible dancer.'

He didn't miss a beat. 'Luke, you're a terrible dancer.'

'Hey!', the boy exclaimed, but then his expression shifted to that teasing, devious glint and grabbed Julie by her side, wiggling fingers. She bellowed out a squeal at his tickling, trying to squirm away from him. 'Who's the bad dancer now?!' 

'Still - ahahahaha - still you! Oh my God, Luke, stop!' Tears of laughter went down her face, cheeks aching from giggling. He stopped, her voluntarily falling into his chest and mumbling something about not playing fair. Luke dumbly nodded and threw his arms around her back, goofy and giddy and literally glowing. 

Okay, were they actually dating and just didn't fucking tell anyone?

(And of course they sat next to each other when they ate the ice cream in the parking lot. He was almost surprised they didn't spoonfeed.)

They dumped Reggie on the couch first, Alex nearly swaying with him. While he wasn't as gone as Reggie… oof. His head was kind of fuzzy. Julie shrugged her wings off and put them on the coffee table. 

'I'm beat,' she whispered. 'You guys are going to be okay in here?' 

He waved her off. 'Yeah, of course. We'll make sure he doesn't puke on your mom's piano.'

They stifled a snicker, though Luke's mind seemed to be elsewhere. He grasped her elbow. 

'Jules? Can I talk to you? Outside?' 

She nodded, equally nervous as excited, and followed him out the studio doors. Alex grinned. Back in LF Public, Luke hardly ever looked at girls. They all went to parties and had fun, sure, but he never really  _ looked _ at one. Until Julie. If this girl could make him absurdly happy about stomach ache inducing ice cream, then he knew Luke was a goner. 

(Especially when he came back inside five minutes later with the biggest shit-eating grin Alex had ever seen.)

(They announced they were dating after Reggie vomited in the bucket by morning. None were surprised.)

> **RAY**

Despite what others might think (read: Victoria), Ray wasn’t as oblivious when it came to his children. Sure, Rose had been the stricter parent who kept the agenda and steered the wheel when the family ship was going wayside, but after she died, he took that role. Greatly so, he found. Did he understand internet lingo or Julie’s sudden mood swings or Carlos’s flares of anger when he played video games? No. But at the end of the day, they all sat at the same dinner table laughing about whatever came to mind and he counted that as a win.

So while teenagehood changed with each generation, some things painfully stayed the same. Like the symptoms of a crush.

Big SOS! His daughter had a crush.

It was the first week of Julie’s junior year, a regular Thursday, when she looked at her bowl of soup with a funny look on her face. It was almost like she was thinking of an inside joke. 

‘What’re you thinking about?’, he smiled, passing Carlos the bread. 

Julie sprung up from her daydream and blinked. Ray tried to keep a straight face. Did he pull her out of a good memory of Rose? Ack.  _ Not  _ his intention when they were eating sancocho! 

‘Oh! Nothing.’ Her smile was easy, but it held a tremor of something else. ‘I made some new friends today. That’s what I was, uh, thinking about.’

She said that, but her face said something else and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what until later that night. He was reading that new book his newspaper recommended - he tried to keep up with his buddies at Drake’s - when it hit him. The sheepish grin like she got caught in the act of doing something bad. A  _ crush. _ A superficial one at that, obviously, but his little Julie had a crush. Oh, God. Rose would be really useful right now. 

Not like Julie and him didn’t have a good relationship. He’d say it even strengthened after Rose died, but they never had to tread those awkward waters of relationships and intimacy and all… that. He shouldn’t get worked up yet though. A crush was basically nothing. 

Until it suddenly was.

It was the second week of her junior year when her head popped into his study and she said: ‘A friend’s coming over. Is that cool?’

A  _ friend _ . Not Flynn or any other classmate he kind of knew by name. A friend. He was old, but not that old. A nameless person always meant more and most likely had a name Julie very much liked to speak out loud. For a second, he thought he saw Rose blinking at him. She looked more and more like her every day. 

He smiled. ‘A  _ friend, _ huh?’

‘Yeah…’ She looked at the ground. ‘From last week. Luke’s-’ She paused. Ray shot her an amused look.  _ There it was. _ ‘He wants to see the instruments in mom’s studio.’

His brows raised. ‘And you want that?’

The longer he looked at her, the more she began to squirm. Both knew she was terrible at keeping her emotions to herself and it was going to come sooner than later. He wanted to spare them the embarrassment of “later”. Not even a second after did a blush bloom on her cheekbones and he clapped in his hands. 

‘Aha!’ 

Julie groaned. ‘Don’t… do anything. Okay?’

‘Of course not, sweetheart,’ he chuckled. ‘This is LA, not the south.’

‘And it’s not like- he’s really like, normal.’ She cringed. ‘I mean, he calls me “wrecking ball” for some reason, but-’

‘Julie.’ He held his hand up, relieving her from this misery. ‘It’s okay. I won’t do anything if  _ you  _ keep your eyes on the books, m‘kay? No boys distracting you from that calculus.’

If she wasn’t completely mortified before, then she really was now. ‘Dad! Just - ugh!’ She pulled the door shut behind her, her footsteps retreating into the hallway. Ray turned back to his computer, grinning. Best thing about parenting: teasing your children mercilessly. 

He met the elusive Luke Patterson about an hour later and he kind of understood. He was the type of boy Julie showed him whenever they watched music videos together. Really boyish, but also not. (Was it the sleeveless get-up?) It was weird seeing the boy he and Julie just discussed meander in the kitchen, but Ray supposed he’s experienced weirder things. Luke was excitedly babbling about music while he followed a snack-making Julie around. Every so often he paused to ask if he should help, and every time Julie dismissed him and he continued talking about songs. It wasn’t like Ray to eavesdrop, but he was just so curious! Julie liked a boy and that boy seemed genuinely nice! He inconspicuously made his way to the other side of the house, eyes on the two kids. 

‘You should really sing with us sometime,’ Luke grinned, leaning his hand on the kitchen island as Julie filled a bowl with carrots and hummus. 

She quirked a brow. ‘What makes you think I want to sing with a punk band?’

‘Punk _ -rock! _ ’, he whined. ‘You like rock!’ 

Julie laughed in a way that almost made Ray laugh himself - because that was  _ not  _ her usual laugh - and shifted her weight his way. ‘Maybe it’s you then.’

He gaped, eyes glittering with mirth. ‘Julie!’ And then flicked a carrot shaving at her cheek. ‘You’re on a roll today!’

‘You know I like Sunset Curve,’ she mumbled, almost like confessing to a secret. His smile became softer too. The hand closest to hers twitched. 

‘Yeah. I know.’

The second time he saw Luke was in the studio with his two other friends, Alex and Reggie. The four of them were laughing on the couches while playing Cards Against Humanity. Julie was leaning against his side and his arm was casually slung across the back of the couch. It  _ almost  _ looked accidental, but Ray knew a teenage boy trying to pull a move when he saw one. 

The third time he heard them upstairs, Luke strumming an acoustic guitar and the murmurs of Julie’s voice drifting throughout the house. Both him and Carlos stood at the end of the staircase listening. Whenever she sang, whoever she was with, the world stopped and listened. 

The fourth time, after hearing Sunset Curve and her sing in the studio mostly, he saw Luke running after Julie while yelling “Admit it!” and her yelling “Never!” until he jumped on her back in the garden and she collapsed beneath him. They were laughing and groaning from the impact and after, Ray saw how a grinning Luke gingerly plucked grass from her hair. How his daughter decided to  _ not  _ move away and leave his hand lingering on her shoulder. 

(He wondered if he should give the Talk that night. But then the boys left and Julie was so breathlessly overjoyed about this new turn her life was taking that he couldn’t find the courage to approach her.)

After that, Ray kind of lost count. He was an adult that had things to worry about other than Julie’s crush. Plus, Luke had kind of become a fixed person in her life by the time he did give it his full attention again. He was on their couch watching a movie with Julie, writing songs with Julie, playing music with Julie. Luke this and Luke that and Ray began wondering if Luke hasn’t just always been there.

It didn’t take long before something happened. He was waiting for Julie to come home from that Halloween party, (to which she matched costumes… with Luke) when he saw the group stumbling out of her car and dragging Reggie towards the studio. Ray stifled a chuckle, sipping on his decaf as he peeked from the curtains. Shadows were dancing on the asphalt for a minute until suddenly Luke and Julie came back out, his hand in hers. His eyes flitted to his coffee. Should he give his daughter some privacy? But what if Luke did something? Ray didn’t think he would, but he  _ also  _ knew how dumb teenage boys were.

Before he could make a decision, smiles bloomed on their nervous faces and Luke pulled her in for a sweet, short kiss. Huh. Ray checked his watch. Two months. He had been betting on the Winter Formal. 

Julie ran inside with the biggest grin on her lips and let her back fall against the door. She let out a shriek of excitement and then, when Ray took a rather loud sip of his coffee and caught her eye, froze on the spot.

Her expression fell flat. ‘You saw all that.’

‘Yep.’

‘We both don’t want to do the Talk.’

‘Yep.’

‘I’ll always have my self defence key chain on me.’

‘Awesome.’ He shot her a thumbs up and Julie began giggling again, rushing into his arms. Oh. He hadn’t expected that. 

‘I’m  _ really  _ happy,’ she whispered. 

‘I see that,’ he commented lightly, unsure how to tread the waters she just jumped into. ‘Don’t get in over your head, mija.’

She shook her head. ‘I won’t, papa. Don’t worry.’

And he heard what she said, but he saw her face and her pupils that swallowed her entire iris and how she looked drunk despite not a whiff of alcohol on her - and that was when he knew she already fully drowned herself in the deep end.

(When seven years later a twenty-four year old Julie called to say Luke and her were engaged, he remembered that Halloween night. Her glowing face and his grin right before he kissed her. Maybe Ray has always kind of known. Fatherly intuition. Rose would be proud of him.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember parties? Damn. I'm gonna cry. 
> 
> Also: New American Thing™ Ophelia learned while writing: Baskin-Robbins!


	6. junior year of high school - part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> second semester observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more self-indulgence. more nostalgia towards high school romance that is definitely more nostalgia than actual memories. 
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **CARLOS**

Carlos didn’t really understand love. Probably because he was only thirteen years old, but he always viewed himself as a pretty smart kid. He was the best at baseball, understood fractions before any of his friends did and dad was never afraid to hold Big People conversations with him. Like, he has talked about _politics._ That was stuffy adult stuff that he comprehended! So yeah, Carlos was intelligent. 

But he didn’t understand love. He loved his drone and his dad and Julie and tía and his friends and his mom - even if she wasn’t exactly here anymore. But then Julie’s friend Luke walked in their life with that weird bounce in his step (which Carlos’s friends would’ve bullied him for) and it was completely different to anything else he’s seen. 

Julie loved music and Flynn and dad and Carlos and fashion, but she loved Luke a little differently. It was weird and Carlos didn’t get it. 

Ever since mom died, Julie kind of took on that role. He knew that, because all of a sudden Julie woke him up for school and urged him to eat breakfast and told him to do his homework. He used to hate it, being bossed around like that, but he quickly realised she was filling a freezing void that she desperately wanted to keep warm. It didn’t really work. It would never fully work. (Carlos was smart enough to know that.) But he got it. (Didn’t mean he wouldn’t snark back though - he was _still_ thirteen and he was _very much_ aware of his rights. Ha!) 

All those stresses she walked around with washed away every time Luke came over. It was as if she switched her batteries and became a different person. Carlos frowned. That wasn’t completely correct. She didn’t become different, just… gooey. It was honestly really awkward for him. Like, he just wanted to enjoy The Dragon Prince without having to hear the front door being opened and Julie sigh a quiet “hi” as if Luke was a freaking miracle. 

It was also during those moments that he realised he did not get love. 

He’d walk into Julie’s room to ask her a question and she’d be wrapped in Luke’s arms watching something on her laptop and she’d stare at him like she momentarily forgot other people existed outside of her bedroom walls. (Again: very embarrassing and weird.) 

Or he’d want her help with a project for history class and Luke would jump up and sidle up next to him saying he was excellent at remembering dates and historic happenings. Carlos was pleased he got help, obviously, but he didn’t get why Luke offered himself up so easily to help _him._ The little brother of his girlfriend. 

(He would realise after that it was out of love. Like, by proxy getting more love from Julie. It was really confusing.) 

Or more recent, when her and dad were fighting cause Julie wanted to join her bandmates on a road trip across the west coast for spring break and dad pointedly told her she was “just seventeen and that she was not ready for that.” Julie blazed with anger and was nearly brought to tears that evening. It was kinda scary. In the end, she didn’t join the boys on their trip. She went to the beach with Flynn and when Flynn wasn’t there, she’d be on her phone texting Luke. 

He didn’t get their need for constant texting and calling and handholding and hugging and smiling goofily like they lost their brain. Like, _jeez,_ was he really going to be like Luke in a few months when he went into his freshmen year? 

But at the end of that spring break, he kind of began to understand. 

Julie and him were on the couch watching Avatar and sharing a bowl of chips when her head perked up to her right and bolted out of the room. Only seconds later did he hear the rumble of the car. How she heard it before him, he didn’t know. Maybe some seismic thing like the elephants did, something he just learned in geography class. Didn’t matter. Julie ran out the front door and, from what Carlos saw from the window, crashed into Luke’s arms. Alex and Reggie scattered into the studio with only a laugh. 

And then they just _stood_ there.

Curious, Carlos leaned closer to the window. Was it gross seeing his sister be all mushy? Yeah. But it suddenly clicked for him. 

Julie’s fingers fluttered across his face as if checking for injuries and Luke simply smiled and grabbed onto them and kissed her on the mouth. 

He read Luke’s lips. _I missed you._

So maybe love was just that. It was kind of soft and kind of deep and waiting, missing, breathing the exhilaration one felt about the other person. It was Julie’s face crumpling into an emotion Carlos hadn’t experienced before and Luke’s face twitching as if he didn’t know what to do or say first. 

It wasn’t love. They were _in_ love. Like, right in the middle of it. 

They came inside five minutes later, hands intertwined, Julie telling him she just wanted to be alone with Luke for a bit and that she’d watch the rest of Avatar with him later tonight. 

When later that night Carlos called her down for dinner and she didn’t respond, he opened the door to see them sleeping on top of the sheets. He made a face. Gah, why did _he_ have to endure this? Carlos thought it was horribly uncomfortable sleeping with jeans on, but they seemed happy about it. 

He tugged on Julie’s foot. ‘Julie. Dinner.’

He tugged again. And again. And again. And then he just slapped her calf. 

She harrumphed and Luke’s lips twitched into a smile. Burrowing her face in the boy’s shoulder, she groaned: ‘Can I skip?’

‘Nah, Jules,’ Luke whispered. ‘Let’s eat that famous chili of your dad.’

‘It’s leftovers from Chipotle.’

Carlos rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever. Just come eat.’

As he walked out of the room, he heard the quiet giggles of the couple and saw how Luke was brushing her hair back with such intention that - yeah. Okay. He really saw it now. 

In love, not just love. It was kind of cool. And his sister deserved it too. If she woke him up for school, then she could use someone to pull her out of bed for dinner. 

Maybe becoming like Luke in a couple of years wouldn’t be too bad. 

> **FLYNN**

‘Hey “Cutest Couple”.’

Julie groaned and dumped her head on Luke’s shoulder, muttering something about embarrassment. Luke on the other hand was beaming like he just won the lottery.

As per usual, yearbooks came out at the end of the year. And with awkward pictures and pretentious quotes and paragraphs from student clubs, also came the Superlatives section. Flynn obviously got “Most Fashionable” and has been since freshmen year. (Truly one of her greatest achievements.) This year though, things have gotten a bit spicier for their friend group. Her beloved soul sister and goofy rocker boyfriend got “Cutest Couple” and _damn_ \- Luke was riding that wave till the end of time. 

‘We don’t even do anything, like, blatant,’ Julie whined. 

Flynn stared at her flatly. ‘You had a couple’s costume for Halloween-’

‘Not a school event and technically, we weren’t together!’

‘You mentally were,’ Flynn bounced back and continued down the list. ‘You’re in a band together-’

‘Again, not-!’

‘Constant PDA.’

Luke raised his hand. ‘I’ll take the blame for that one.’

‘Uh!’ Julie’s head perked up, protesting. ‘Nick and Carrie were far worse back in sophomore year.’

‘Yeah, but then it’s awkward because you’re like, lowerclassmen.’ Flynn made a face. There was a definite difference between sophomore year and junior year. People become like, _actual_ people. 

(She’d laugh at herself in a few years while burrowed in university books. How much seventeen year old Flynn _didn’t_ know about the world yet was hilarious.) 

‘And you’re both hot,’ Flynn concluded, earning a grin from both of her friends. She rolled her eyes. Such idiots. ‘Just own it, Jules.’

‘Yeah, Jules,’ Luke mimicked. ‘Own your hotness.'

The girl flushed and pressed her hands over her eyes with a whine. ‘Stop!’ To which Luke laughed and pulled her under his arm, all dopey because that was the only mode that boy had: dopey. 

After months of Luke and Julie being “Luke and Julie”, she has become unfazed by the togetherness of it all. The first weeks of them dating, she gave Luke frequent glares and threats that if he ever hurt Julie in any way, she'd scalp him. But then New Years Eve happened and saw Luke whispering “I love you” to Julie so reverently that she realised her worry could be taken down a notch. That moment kind of confirmed just how smitten he was. 

(She would _still_ fight him though. Double Trouble always and forever.) 

His smile didn't waver. ‘See what I wrote in your yearbook?’ 

Julie looked ready to scowl. ‘“Own your hotness”?’ 

‘No,’ he laughed. ‘I’ll remember that for next year though. Look.’

There were a few things Flynn thought of before Julie found the right page. One: Luke just confirmed that by April next year, they'd still be together. Which was fucking adorable, but also really scary. Like, the way they were already so “it” for one another and it hasn’t even been a full year of dating. Neither questioned it too. Two: that there was a rhythm with which they spoke. Flynn couldn’t explain it. It had a certain cadence that only made sense to them and every once in a while got noticed by others - like now. Again, that should be really, really scary because Luke wasn’t even seventeen yet (Ha! October kids!), but somehow they made “we are an extension of oneself” adorable. None of the magazines her and Julie used to read had prepared them for that. Jules took it with stride though.

(As much stride Julie could have however, seeing as Luke _never_ stopped looking at her in that really unnerving way that melted Julie each time, but freaked out everyone else. Again: whatever they had, only they understood. Flynn just tried to piece it together like the bestie she was.) 

Julie found the page, read what he wrote and looked up with a soft grin. 

‘I thought we were already going to prom together?’

He shrugged, smiling. ‘Wanted to ask you formally, in case that’s your thing.’

Her smile melted into something adoringly sweet and that was when Flynn realised she should get her own man. Third wheeling _sucked,_ even at school. Ugh. Maybe a lacrosse dude would be a fun time.

‘Could be my thing,’ she whispered, matching his awkward shrug. Luke’s smile brightened (somehow) and kissed her on the cheek. 

Flynn clicked her tongue. ‘When I said: “hey cutest couple” I didn’t mean: “hey, lemme watch a love declaration during break when I _could’ve_ been revising for our maths test”.’

Julie stepped away from Luke, barely, with a sheepish nod. ‘Sorry, Flynn.’

‘I’m not,’ Luke joked. 

‘Unsurprising,’ Julie and Flynn replied simultaneously. 

The bell rang. Julie shut her locker and wished her good luck. Luke repeated that and, in pure Luke fashion, grabbed Julie’s hand and walked to English class together. Flynn regarded them for a moment. 

There was a part of her that still wished she and Julie floated around the same orbit. Same journey of life, going through the same milestones together. Ever since Luke, that has kind of been stilted. It used to make her mad, which she told Julie during their spring break and where the girl promised her that while Luke was her boyfriend, Flynn would always be her soul sister. Sometimes Flynn forgot that. But in moments like these, when she watched them go down the hallway and all of a sudden have Julie turn around and send her a dramatic air kiss, she realised that she’d never lose her best friend. (Even if that orbit now had a dopey-eyed idiot meandering around too. God, why did he never wear sleeves?! Fashion intervention ASAP!) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only have an older brother so y'all can clown on me if carlos is horribly inaccurate. 
> 
> also, i will come back to stranger pov's! it's literally written and ready to be posted but i wanted to stay in the realm of high school for a little longer.


	7. junior year of high school - part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> between halloween and the yearbook... from very up close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sorry. 
> 
> edited | tumblr @lydias--stiles

> **LUKE**

If he prided himself on one thing (and he prided himself on a lot things), it was that he wasn’t easily thrown off. He broke his wrist while skating and just shrugged it off, only two days later confessing to his parents that he felt  _ a little _ squeezy. A bad test? No problem, he’d just cram for exams and pass by one point. A fight between him and his friends? That would just blow over. They loved each other too much to stay away, kind of like an old, married couple, but then with three people. 

Luke made a face. Did he just think of Sunset Curve as a polyamourous old couple? Yeesh. There really was such a thing as too many Red Bulls. 

Whatever. The statement remained a truth: Luke was kind of an elastic. Whatever got thrown his way, he bounced back with ease. 

What he hadn’t thought of before, however, was what would happen if he started liking someone. As in: kissing and holding hands and “oh my God, you are so perfect that I’d rather spent time with you then with my co-dependant bandmates.” It was a hard thing to beat. But then came Julie. And Julie was kind of an anomaly on her own.

Julie tilted him off his axis without even trying. When her smile got a bit too bright, or she looked him directly in the eye, or she leaned in too close and he could smell her peach shampoo - she just had to be there and he became a goon. Like Alex said: “major moon eyes”. Luke tried to deny it at first, but he was  _ gone  _ for the beautiful Julie Molina. It kind of wasn’t fair. Who the fuck allowed her to be pretty  _ and  _ talented  _ and  _ smart  _ and  _ funny  _ and  _ thoughtful and… he had to stop. (There it was again, him getting all flustered just thinking about her!)

So, it was pretty fucking amazing when she became his girlfriend. It was as if all the things he never thought he needed or yearned for stormed to the forefront. Like, he  _ needed  _ to nap with her (and smell her hair - he should really ask her about that shampoo), he needed to have her arms around him to relax and feel ecstatic all at once. She was like the most intense song with the heaviest bass and an electrifying guitar and smooth piano and heart stoppingly amazing lyrics. It kind of scared him in the beginning how much he felt for her, especially since he only met her that school year, but it just made sense. 

He hasn’t seen Julie that day, and it was kind of a drab school day, so he hoped he could sneak a kiss between classes to feel better. Her head of curls finally caught his eye until he saw who she was with. 

Nick.

Aha. Luke stilled for a moment, a voice that sounded eerily like Alex “to reflect on what he was feeling before reacting” (which was straight up pure hippie shit) bouncing in his head as he watched them.  _ Aha. _ Jealousy. Okay. Sure. Whatever. He hasn’t really felt that before, but he could deal with it, right? 

Nope. No, he couldn’t. While their relationship was going well, it has also been short. He only knew her for a few months and he has dated her for even less. He had no clue how long she has known Nick. The guy probably knew things about Julie, had memories of her, that Luke would never retain. 

Fuck. He wasn’t bouncing back. Why the fuck was he getting so worked up?! 

Despite his limited experience of being a boyfriend, he was pretty sure that intervening in a seemingly innocent conversation was a douchey thing to do. They were just talking! But c’mon! The dude was clearly into her! He did “the head tilt”, the thing Reggie always made jokes about. 

(Apparently Luke gave Julie little nods? He hasn’t noticed. Whatever. Not important right now.)

Would Julie notice his jealousy if he came up to them? Would she mind? Maybe she even liked it!

Luke was about to smash his head against a locker because overthinking was really not his forte, when clarity came to him. Julie was his girlfriend. No harm in wanting to be near her! No one could fault him for that! 

And with that decision made, Luke pulled the most confident smile a sixteen year old boy could have and sauntered over. 

‘Hey,’ he said, eyes glued on Julie. 

Her smile widened and hugged him. ‘Hi.’

Trumpets of victory were resounding in his head. Ha! Take that, Nick! It took all the control in his body to not send an arrogant smirk the blonde’s way. 

He let his hands linger on her back as she pulled away with those tender, brown eyes. Luke almost felt like melting back into her, but he was on a mission. Focus! 

‘Sorry, Nick.’ She turned to the boy. ‘You were saying?’

The guy looked like he got caught stealing a cookie and shook his head. ‘Uh, no. It’s cool.’

‘Oh, don’t worry about me,’ Luke smiled. ‘What  _ were  _ you going to say, Nick?’

He never thought he’d have a silent bro-conversation with jock Nick Dawson, but here he was: locking eyes like a challenge on who would back down first and both knowing the outcome. Later, he’d realise how fucking dramatic he was acting, but in the moment it really felt like life or death. 

Julie must’ve sensed something, her head tilting up with a suspicious expression. Kind of too late for that, Luke reckoned. Nick and him were already on the final match. 

‘I had some questions about dance class,’ he eventually said, smile pressed. ‘But you’re not the teacher so I’ll just ask her.’

‘Oh,’ Julie frowned. ‘Okay.’ 

‘I’ll, uh, see you in…’

‘English,’ she supplied. 

‘Yes. English.’ Nick almost became a robot with his jerky movements and short answers. Luke couldn’t find the energy to feel guilty though. Hitching his backpack on both shoulders, Nick gave an awkward wave and mumbled a “see ya” as he sped off. 

Luke would deny it if anyone asked if he was smug. But yeah, he was really fucking smug. Julie, obviously, caught on and flicked his arm. 

‘What was that for?’

He feigned confusion. ‘What?’ 

She rolled her eyes and wiggled her finger in front of his face. He caught it, giddy. ‘ _ That.  _ You looked ready to fight him.’

‘I wasn’t!’

Her face fell flat. ‘Luke, you were ready to fight him like Alex was ready to fight Reggie after he said “ooze” four times in a row. Big “fight me” energy.’ Her deadpan shifted into concern, something he definitely did not anticipate and began to panic. ‘What’s wrong?’

He grabbed onto her other hand in a frenzy, his smile a bit too manic. ‘Nothing! I wasn’t doing or thinking anything! Y’know, like always.’

‘We both know that’s not true.’ Julie's lips quirked down. ‘I don’t like it when you lower yourself.’

Oh, man. This was going bad. On impulse, he pulled her back in for a hug and burrowed his face in her hair (which smelled like peach shampoo and rid him of all his inhibitions in a snap) and whispered: ‘I got jealous.’

It was easier to tell her when he didn’t have to look at her. He didn't know how she’d react so mumbling it between the curls felt safe. 

Then she began to rumble against his chest. What was she-? Oh. She was giggling. Her head popped up from his chest as she fully laughed in his face. A chuckle of his own crawled on his mouth. Alright. He kind of deserved it. 

‘Jealous?’ Her giggles were unstoppable. 

He groaned, but he secretly enjoyed the way her chin was tucked on his torso and she was so close and how her fingers were locked together behind his back. ‘I didn’t bounce back!’ 

‘Bounce back?’ Julie was lost. 

‘Yes, Jules.’ He purposefully made a face and she kept laughing and he was pretty sure this was better than getting high. ‘I maybe get affected about things when it comes to you.’

The laughter quieted down instantly, her eyes wide and surprised. His smile twitched, all game and goof gone. The fact that they were in a hallway didn’t faze him. He hasn’t said those words yet - those three, dumb words that rattled him every time he thought of it - but what he said instead kind of gave it away, didn’t it? 

He also didn’t care that it did. He wanted Julie to know. 

‘Oh,’ she whispered. 

‘You know-’

‘Yeah,’ she smiled. ‘I know.’

Luke kind of felt like jumping into a pool. His feelings were rushing him by like the thrill of a rollercoaster yet he somehow remained still in her embrace. ‘Sweet,’ he muttered. 

‘I would get jealous too, I think,’ she admitted after a beat. Which was fortunate, because he hadn’t been sure whether to kiss her senselessly or push her away to ease the searing feeling that was building in his chest. Luke was absolutely  _ gone  _ for her.

And if she’d feel jealous too, that kind of confirmed everything, right?

He hoped his smile wasn’t completely dweebish and dopey (it totally was) and softly kissed her on the lips. Kissing was technically not allowed inside the school, but fuck it. Julie and him would get jealous for the other person! A cause for celebration! Just as he wanted to pull away, she leaned in. 

‘You’re gonna make me do it again,’ he mumbled. 

Julie looked at him through her lashes. ‘That’s the point.’ 

He grinned, flushed, cause damn - he got really lucky with Julie Molina. 

Holding his hand between their torsos, he asked: ‘Round two another time?’

She shook it. ‘Deal.’

Maybe it wasn’t that bad he didn’t bounce back when it came to Julie. He didn’t  _ want  _ to. He liked to be near her as much as possible and if he pretended to be an elastic 24/7, then that wouldn’t happen. It kind of felt like losing control, but in a good way. It was okay that Julie made him lose himself a little. It just proved that he truly liked her (or, you know, the big L he hasn’t said out loud yet) and had the safety of her arms if he needed it. 

It was then that Luke realised he didn’t mind being the gooey, mushy boyfriend in public. Let them see. He loved Julie Molina and the world was allowed to know.

(He kissed her again, cause he was rebel like that.) 

> **JULIE**

The fact that Luke Patterson, cutest boy alive and the sole reason she turned into a puddle of emotions every time he smiled, was her boyfriend, was something that was surprisingly easy to adapt to. She thought they’d have to shift and tweak themselves a bit to fit into the mold of boyfriend and girlfriend, but nothing really changed the night after Halloween. She was still a puddle of feelings and he still smiled at her in that cute way and the only difference was that, if she wanted to, could reach up and kiss him. 

And it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. But then a certain question slammed her into the wall and all the insecurities came rushing in. 

She was a couple of months into dating Luke when Flynn asked her if they’ve done any of the Big Stuff together. Julie called it “Big Stuff”, because she’d probably blush if she didn’t. It wasn’t like she thought it was gross or weird, but it  _ became  _ Big Stuff when Flynn asked and she realised Luke and her haven’t talked about it and then it was all she could worry about. 

Did he think about it too? Did he want to do it now? Or never? Did he want to do it with  _ her?  _ And if he didn’t, why? Or if he  _ did: _ why?! 

Those insecurities became especially apparent when they’d go to a party together and she’d see him talking with girls like Yasmina or Leigh (two very pretty seniors rumoured to have experienced the Big Stuff) and then she felt so… kiddish. They were only a few months older, yet seemed and looked leaps more mature and cool. Luke kind of happened to fall in her lap by accident. If he hadn’t stumbled into the music room that day, their entire relationship wouldn’t have happened. She was happy it did,  _ obviously, _ but - ugh! Her mind was a mess. 

She also had no clue if Luke was experienced or not and she didn’t have the guts to ask. 

So she didn’t. They went on dates and kissed and cuddled and napped and there was an oversized, red henley of his in her wardrobe and she kept extra guitar picks in her backpack, and all the while she wondered if he was getting restless. Luke wasn’t showing any signs that he was, but he could also just be respectful about it. Have  _ her  _ broach the subject. To her, that only confirmed that if she didn't handle quickly, he  _ would  _ leave and go for the Yasmina’s and Leigh’s of the world. 

‘Jules.’ Flynn snapped her out of her worry. ‘I can  _ feel  _ you having a mental breakdown.’

She sighed and slammed her locker shut, lunch in hand. ‘Sorry.’

‘Wanna talk about it?’

She bit her lip, shaking her head, but then-

‘Do you think I’m childish, Flynn?’ It came out all jumbled, the quip too rushed and loud and breathy. They eyed each other alarmed. Her bestie looked around for a second, noting no one overheard them and grabbed her hand. 

Flynn pressed her lips together. ‘Okay then. This is more major than I thought. Let’s talk… not here.’

They went to the bleachers. Julie recounted all her thoughts and insecurities with the dramatics only a sixteen year old could muster. It ended with Julie dumping her head in her hands and groaning.

‘I don’t know what to do, Flynn.’

Her friend had none of it. ‘Okay, first of? You’re drop dead gorgeous, Julie. I know you think I’m obligated to say that, but it’s true. Luke  _ knows  _ this. Trust me.’

She nodded with a sniff, supposing she couldn’t really debunk that. Luke had to find her  _ marginally  _ pretty, right? 

‘Secondly, that boy is obsessed with you. Like, personally, I think it’s a lil’ too much but you seem to think it’s cute, so-’

‘Your point, Flynn?’

‘Right.’ She fixed a comforting smile. ‘Jules, if you just talk to him about this, I’m sure everything will work out fine.’

Julie sighed. She was right - as always. If she really believed Luke liked her as much as he did and if she believed they had a strong relationship, then they could talk about it like adults. 

‘You gotta stop calling it “Big Stuff” though.’

‘Flynn!’

After Flynn reassured her another three times it would be fine (and to stop saying that dumb euphemism), she texted Luke to meet her under the bleachers. She didn’t want anyone to see them potentially get heated with each other if the conversation went awry. Nerves were clutching her lungs as she waited, clenching and unclenching her fingers and oh God, this would be so bad and so awkward and he was going to laugh in her face thinking she was just joking with him and-

‘Hey.’ He suddenly appeared with his signature smile, unaware of the complete insanity going on in her head. 

She perked up. ‘Hi!’ Again, a bit too loud and rushed. He noticed and frowned, reaching out to her. 

‘You okay?’

Jumping away from his touch, she forced a smile. ‘Yeah!’

Luke stilled. His face froze into an either horrified or very constipated expression as his eyes flitted across her body. Did he know what she was thinking? Was he thinking she was weird? Was he second-guessing their relationship? Gah! She wished she could just climb into his brain! 

‘Are you trying to break up with me?’

Her heart dropped to the ground along with her jaw. ‘ _ What?! _ No!’

Luke sighed in relief and held onto the steel structure. ‘Oh, thank God,’ he breathed. ‘You were freaking me out, Jules. Everything okay?’

Her shoulders dropped. Oh, God. She has been acting so stupid and insecure for weeks on end, meanwhile completely forgetting that Luke  _ chose  _ to be with her. They weren’t forced to be together; he liked her just as much as she did. And now, he was scared  _ she’d _ break up with him because of her weird behaviour. He was being so sweet and thoughtful and she was thinking the worst of him, that he was going to drop her if they didn’t do the Big Stuff soon. If she would’ve talked to him from the get go, then they wouldn’t be in this awkward situation right now. Julie let the weight of remorse close the distance between them and hugged him tight. He smelled quintessentially Luke and it felt like all the times they’ve fallen asleep together. Carefully, he looped his arms around her.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve just been… insecure for a while.’

His arms tightened. ‘About what?’

Her eyes closed. ‘About the whole…’ Julie sighed. Time to grab life by the balls, Molina. ‘About sex.’

She felt him freeze and looked up. His cheeks were tinged pink and his eyes stared back at her, timid. Oh. If Luke was blushing, then this was  _ definitely  _ a conversation they needed to have. 

‘Okay…’ he trailed. 

‘I just-’ She rolled her lips, trying to find the right words. ‘I don’t know where you’re at with that. Like, if you have any experience or not or if you even wanna do that. I know  _ I’m  _ not ready for that yet, but I’d hate it if I knew I was… holding you back. I guess.’

His reaction surprised her. Blinking like she told him the moon was fake, he asked: ‘Why do you think I have experience?’

‘Cause you’re…’ She shrugged and waved a hand at him. ‘Luke.’

He chuckled, still timid and awkward, and that was comforting. He wasn’t laughing  _ at  _ her, he was trying to traverse this topic  _ with  _ her as best as possible and she couldn’t be more grateful. 

‘I, uh.’ He placed his hands on her shoulders, eyes fixed on hers. She knew he wouldn’t be throwing out a joke. ‘I don’t have experience. At all.’ A smile twitched his lips. ‘You’re my first real girlfriend, Jules. And I have thought about it, and about you, but I don’t mind waiting.’

Julie frowned. ‘But you do wanna do it?’

His smile became impossibly shy. ‘Yeah.’

Julie matched his silly grin and realised this wasn’t so bad. Just two losers under the bleachers trying to figure out their relationship. It was fine. It felt normal - and it felt normal cause it was with Luke. She wouldn’t want to have this conversation with anyone else. 

(She also very much felt “drop dead gorgeous” between his arms. How could she ever think he didn’t find her attractive?) 

‘And you  _ really  _ don’t mind waiting?’

He laughed fully this time and tucked a strand behind her ear and - oh, God, he made her  _ mush _ . It was too easy to fall into the soft gaze of Luke Patterson and never come out for air again. She kind of didn’t want to either. Her heart stuttered when his fingers grazed her cheek. 

‘I don’t mind.’ Leaning in closer, he added: ‘I don’t even know if I’m really ready yet either.’

Relief made her drop her head on his torso. They have been on the exact same page and she’d been too clueless to see. No more losing sleep about this! 

And so, she said her mind. ‘I like talking about this. About us.’ Then, before he could reply, she slung her arms around his neck. ‘So I’m gonna be super blunt and say that I think you’re hot and that I’d love to have sex with you one day but that right now I’m really, really, really happy to be under the bleachers. With you.’

It all left in one breath and Julie knew that was enough confidence to get her through at least three months.

Luke was, to her delight, completely floored and stammering to say something literate back. It was as if his brain has gone into overdrive and has forgotten any of his motor skills. She giggled.  _ She  _ did that! Drop dead gorgeous times one thousand! 

‘I also like talking,’ he exhaled, an excited, eager grin coming after. ‘Can I kiss you or are we going to couple’s therapy next?’

She rolled her eyes and pulled him down to her level. They kissed, and it was better than all the ones before, because this time the spark she felt was… secure. And safe and warm. A promise for a comfortable future. She felt exhilaration and relief and fondness and pure affection and - oh. She felt love for him. She was  _ in  _ love with him. It was quite hard not to. 

How could she not love him when he looked at her like she helped the sun rise every morning?

Julie loved Luke and when they were ready for more, they would tell each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm done with junior year lmao it's time for some other time stamps again
> 
> wanted to broach these topics so my fics had some actual value to them. communication is important, my friends! the dumb stuff i've done a few years ago because i didn't properly discuss it with people - oof.


	8. the summer before senior year of college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sunkissed Juke through the eyes of a stranger and a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys at the title: *gif of jake peralta saying "y'all are hella specific"*

> **SEAN**

Okay, so maybe it was because she was hot. 

As opposed to many other people here, Sean liked to go to Coachella for the music - not for the Instagram pictures. He’s been in bands during high school and helped other college bands and has always just been so obsessed with music. Classic, rock, pop, country. He loved it. When the tickets went on sale, he was one of the first to grab them and instantly got both the weekends. If he missed someone the first weekend, he could watch them the second. He slept in a shitty tent or he befriended strangers and slept on their motel couch. It was the best part of his year, especially now right before he had to double down to get to his final year of college. This was his way to unwind.

So obviously, he knew who was playing, who he wanted to see, and who he was curious of. It was always a joy being surprised by a band or artist he hadn’t thought much of. Sean remembered years ago seeing Seinabo Sey on stage and being dazzled by her stage presence. 

With his obsession came a disadvantage, however. One would call it snobby, but he really needed someone that could talk to him about real music. His type wasn’t: “I only listen to Taylor Swift and Beyonce and nothing else.” Was that bad? Sean didn’t think it was. Everyone had that one thing that just needed to match with another person. Usually that meant moral and values and which way they leaned politically. For Sean, music was included. 

So, yeah. She was pretty hot, but what tipped him over the edge was the clearly altered t-shirt she was wearing. Two band tees stitched together - one from Patti Smith, one from R.E.M. - and cropped. Her olive skin looked golden in the sun, curls in a messy bun atop her head and aviators hiding her eyes. He only saw half of her, but he knew she was attractive. Was it creepy staring at a girl queueing for tacos? Maybe. But this was Coachella, and at Coachella people took a chance. Plenty of folks getting whisked away into weekend flings. If she was the girl that also made the t-shirt, it meant that she had good taste and that made her superior. 

Alright. He went for it. 

As she was the tail of the queue, he stood diagonally behind her. 

‘Patti Smith and R.E.M.?’

She jumped, startled from his sudden quip. Awesome start, Sean. Real smooth of you. 

‘What?’, she sputtered, looking behind him for a second. 

He took a small step back. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was complimenting your t-shirt. You made it yourself?’

She relaxed and slipped her sunglasses into her hair. Yup. She was still pretty. ‘Oh. Yeah, I did.’ Smiling, she added: ‘Had to make people know I listen to the good stuff.’ 

They took a miniscule step forward. ‘What else do you listen to?’, he asked, eager now that the conversation was open. 

She shrugged. ‘Everything. What about you? Are you fan of Patti Smith and R.E.M. too?’

‘Yeah!’ He nodded enthusiastically. ‘I don’t listen to like, everything though. No Miley Cyrus or something.’

She tilted her head, eyes shifting into something cryptic. ‘You should. Her new album is really cool. It’s very Blondie.’

Not knowing what to say to that, he said: ‘I’m Sean.’

‘Julie,’ she replied with a chuckle. 

Julie. He didn’t know why, but he kind of expected her to have a more exotic name. Shrugging the thought away, he propelled his confidence. He got a name, a music preference, time to lock it in. 

‘What do you suggest I listen to here, Julie?’ He was going to continue with a small lie, which he knew wasn’t great, but he had to keep this going. ‘I’m kind of new to Coachella.’

‘Oh!’ Her brows went into her hairline. The queue moved an inch. ‘The Dandy Warhols are good - haven’t seen them live though, so that’ll be a surprise. I heard Angèle was good, she’s in the Gobi Tent. That’s the small artist stage. If you’re into something more vibey, the Talking Heads are on in like an hour.’

Alright. Sean was starstruck. This Julie was his dream girl. Oh wow. (And yeah, it helped that she was hot.) Her tastebuds were immaculate. She passed every test. 

‘Talking Heads, huh?’

‘Yep,’ she smiled. 

He took a step closer. ‘Do you wanna-’ 

A man snuck up from behind and casually draped his arms around her waist. He kissed her jaw and nuzzled into her neck. ‘Hmmm. You taste like sunscreen.’

Oh, shit. 

_ ‘That  _ turns you on?’ She glanced over her shoulder and they gave each other a look only they understood. 

He puffed. ‘Jules, you have the weirdest turn-ons, don't even  _ try. _ And damn, this line is  _ not  _ moving.’

Oh, shit. Fucking shit. She was taken. By a _ fitness boy  _ no less. He had expected her to be into his type - musically inclined, lankier, broodier. Nope. She wore a t-shirt like that, yet liked a guy with bulging biceps in a muscle tee that was more hole that fabric. His jeans was so baggy Sean was surprised it didn’t slip from his hips. What the hell. 

‘Oh, really?’

Smirking, the guy whispered: ‘I have a  _ very  _ clear memory of you ogling my hands after that one guitar riff.’

Well then, Sean thought. Too much information for a stranger to eavesdrop on, but also: the guy was  _ objectively _ attractive and apparently played the guitar. He  _ kind of _ got it. 

Suddenly, Julie seemed to remember he was still here and tapped the guy’s hip. ‘Oh! Luke, this is Sean. He was asking me what bands he should be watching out for.’

‘ _ Ooh, _ ’ Luke mused, plopping his head on her shoulder. Sean wanted to smash his own head against one of those big speakers from embarrassment. Awkward was an understatement for what he was feeling right now. ‘The National, obviously. They’re on at ten pm, I think. The Dandy Warhols. FIDLAR. I kind of vibe with Role Model - he's gonna be in the Gobi Tent this afternoon.’

Julie turned in his arms with a gasp. ‘He’s performing?!’

He laughed, his entire face lighting up by having her look at him. It almost felt like a private moment. Should he… go? ‘You didn’t know?’ 

Her eyes were sparkling with delight and love and - yeah, he should definitely leave. But then she opened her mouth and sang. ‘Yeah, I’ve never seen… something quite like you!’

The only thing Luke did was chuckle fondly, clearly a common occurrence for them to be casually serenading each other, but Sean was floored. Julie  _ sang  _ too? And amazingly so! Argh! And  _ despite  _ all of that, she still went for the “I lift 350 pounds at the gym”-dude?

Luke cradled her cheek with unbridled adoration and chastely kissed her. Alright. Time for Sean to get his ass out of there. 

‘Uh,’ he stuttered. He was a goddamn twenty-three year old adult and he was stuttering. Life hated him. They looked up from their entanglement. ‘Thanks for the recommendations, guys.’

Julie and Luke smiled at him simultaneously, the quirk of their lips oddly similar, though her eyes closed whilst his stayed wide and earnest. It was as if they complemented what the other missed. A unique type of synchronicity. 

‘No problem,’ she said cheerily as Luke saluted at him. ‘Have fun!’

And then he left the queue, taco-less and fling-less. 

(Somehow, in the midst of thousands of other people, he saw them again. It was the last show of the night and it was this band he had never heard of, but it was rock and overwhelming and the drums were insane and the ground was vibrating. Mosh pits everywhere, but many also staring slack-jawed at the stage, mesmerised. He was one of those people, when his gaze accidentally wandered to the left and saw them.

Their eyes were closed, letting the music wash over them. Her back was pressed into his chest and their arms were entwined and swaying. It was as if the band had put them in a trance and it was just them alone. Somehow, they found a way to make this universal moment a personal memory. It made him weirdly jealous.)

(But also happy. Because if it happened to them, then that meant it could happen for him too.)

(Maybe Sean should start listening to Miley Cyrus.)

> **REGGIE**

While most liked to discredit it, Reggie was actually a pretty good cook. Sure, his experiments when he was high were… debatable (though Luke always encouraged it) and sure, the first year of college when he still lived in the dorms he nearly set the kitchen on fire because he didn't know how to properly cook pasta (but did any snotty eighteen year old?). But at twenty-two, he was a chef. No recipe too difficult to follow, no technique too egregious. Cooking had a calming effect on him, now that he thought of it. It used to only be the bass, but making omelettes for his friends also did the trick. 

Like now. 

After their first year in college, the band decided to leave the dorms and live together. Luke didn’t go to college and he was miserable in his one bedroom apartment while his friends and girlfriend were on campus. By the second semester, he held an intervention that he was going “out of his mind” (to which Alex rolled his eyes and Julie shook her head fondly) and that they should just find a place for themselves. They were wise to spare most of the money they made from the band, which has finally started to pick up some speed after the release of “Bright”, and could easily afford a four bedroom apartment. So that was what they did. Well - a  _ three  _ bedroom apartment. It took Reggie a full week to realise that “oh yeah, Julie and Luke are a couple and only need one room.” Not because they didn’t make it obvious. It was the opposite actually. It was so natural, so normal, that he simply forgot it was ever any different.

(He remembered his first real conversation with Julie. Second week of junior year, they were the first at their lunch table and they instantly launched into a heated discussion about Buffy The Vampire Slayer. He was so enthusiastic that after, he realised that she didn’t seem uncomfortable by his overly energetic behaviour for one second. And then her and Luke got together and it kind of all made sense.) 

Alex walked from the living room into the kitchen and peered into the pan. He frowned. ‘What’re you doing with the eggs?’

_ ‘ Ooh, _ I saw this Indonesian recipe and-’

‘Reg, I don’t want to get the stomach flu again,’ he bemoaned. 

He gasped. ‘That was one time! Two years ago!’

Alex took another pained glance at the pan, as if the eggs would suddenly jump him, and shook his head. ‘Nope. I’m getting boba. See you later!’ He grabbed his sunglasses, shoved his feet in some Birkenstocks and just  _ left _ . Reggie puffed. The faith this guy had in him. Whatever. Julie and Luke would appreciate his talentry and creativity. 

Scraping the omelettes from the pan onto plates, he padded towards their bedroom. He has only seen them come out once: Julie with bedhead crawling to the bathroom and Luke for a glass of water. They had a slightly tense expression on their face when they did, despite the early hour. It was summer! What did they have to worry about? 

He was about to turn their doorknob when he heard their muffled voices. 

‘What do you think?’ It was Julie, her voice still raspy from sleep. 

There was a pause. ‘I didn’t realise you were thinking about that.’

‘I know. Maybe I should’ve-’

‘No, no. Please. Tell me.’

Reggie panicked. Yikes. Double fucking yikes. This was not for him to eavesdrop on. But the omelettes! They couldn’t get cold or else all his hard work was for nothing! Should he leave them at the door? What if they stepped on it? 

‘I just… I love living with the guys. I really do. And I know you love them to death. But I just… I want to start living with  _ just  _ you.’

Oh. Reg pressed his ear on the door. She thought about leaving? 

‘That sounds amazing.’ Luke’s tone was light. ‘But, I mean, you still have a year of school left.’

‘I know.’ It wasn’t told as a resigned answer, more so an affirmation that  _ despite  _ that, she still wanted to make it happen. 

Another beat of silence. ‘I don’t want to mess up,’ he whispered. 

There was some shuffling, the rustle of sheets being moved. ‘You won’t. I think we love each other too much for that.’

‘You don’t think you’re gonna like, miss out on senior fun?’

She laughed. ‘Luke, I spent my time either studying or with the band or at Tony’s. And I  _ love  _ it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.’

Reggie knocked. It was a heartfelt moment, but come on! His hard work! They could talk  _ and  _ eat, right? He walked in with a cheery smile on his face and took in the way Julie sat in Luke’s lap mid-convo as he stroked her knee. Did he feel guilty for barging in, seeing them like that? Sort of. 

‘Breakfast,’ he quipped and placed it on their dresser. 

Luke mustered a smile. ‘Thanks, Reg. We’ll eat with you in like ten minutes.’

He waved them off. ‘Take your time. And, uh-’ He saw how serious Julie was peering at the sheets and how anxious Luke seemed and Reggie couldn’t handle that. ‘You know we won’t mind if you move, right? Alex has kinda been expecting it.’

Julie’s eyes widened. ‘He has?’

‘You were listening?’, Luke frowned. 

‘Thin walls,’ Reg shrugged, unapologetic. ‘Obviously a hashtag Juke decision, but Alex and I won’t be mad or anything.’

‘Did you just-’

‘So, don’t keep us in the equation,’ he finished. Julie was smiling appreciatively, Luke was confused.

‘Did you just… hashtag us?’

Julie crawled in his chest. ‘He got that from Flynn,’ she mumbled. ‘Like Brangelina, but then it’s us.’ 

Luke puffed. ‘Brad and Angelina aren’t together anymore.’

‘It’s the idea,’ Reg butted in. When he saw their pointed looks, he realised it was his time to skedaddle. ‘Ten minutes starting now!’

He closed their door, but before he could flop on the couch and wait for his brooding friends to make up their minds, he heard the hum of laughs. 

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ Luke chuckled. ‘Let’s live together-’

‘And-’

‘-so I can flaunt to the guys at Tony’s that I’m an actual adult.’

‘Luke,’ she deadpanned. 

‘What? It’s funny.’ A pause. A softer tone. ‘Because I get ridiculously happy waking up with you and cause we’re ready.’ 

Reggie cooed. 

‘Reg!’, Julie yelled. Right. Thin walls. Oops. 

‘Sorry!’

After his apology, he finally collapsed on the couch with his own food and turned on The Cartoon Network. Minutes later, the couple walked in with the goofiest of smiles on their faces as they sat down next to him. Julie curled under Luke’s arm, him holding the plate in his lap so they could both eat from it. If Reg thought only pregnant women could glow, he was mistaken. Luke was  _ beaming _ . 

_ ‘ Ooh, _ Reg,’ Julie trailed, propping her chin on Luke’s chest for her to be visible. ‘Can we maybe watch a Buffy episode? Season two?’

Reggie pointed at her, glee dripping from his voice. ‘Episode six?!’

‘Episode six, baby!’

Reggie was the best cook out of the group, but also the most loyal. This was his band, his family, his flock of idiots and he would fight for them anytime, anywhere. So Luke and Julie leaving should make him sad. Distressed, even. But it didn’t. Luke and her were like two sides of the same coin, in sync and equally at odds without even trying. It was only a matter of time before either popped the moving question and Reggie knew this decision would only make them even happier. 

Reggie wouldn’t lose his friends. He’d gain them - and their love - tenfold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Sean was indeed based on a guy I matched with on Tinder, thanks for asking. He was LOOKING for any poor taste I had in music lmao. Guys are weird. (Spoiler: I told him I liked Kacey Musgraves and then he just stopped talking. Don't settle for snobs, ladies.) 
> 
> Every artist and band I've mentioned is worth a listen! The song Julie sings to Luke is "blind" by ROLE MODEL
> 
> Word I've learned while writing: "unbridled" - so pretty!
> 
> Also @pearlcaddy most definitely made me start watching Buffy because of her fics. Please read her works if you haven't already (which is, like, a literal war crime if you haven't)


	9. sophomore year of college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A different gaze on Julie and Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm being overzealous with these updates, but in the words of julie molina: "it was flowing through me!"
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **VIVIENNE**

Day forty-six of pining after Purple Puffer Jacket Girl. It was starting to become pathetic, but it was already forty-six days and now it felt like she couldn’t really stop. Finish what you started, right? 

She saw PPJG the first time forty-six days ago because of that ridiculously oversized thing over her shoulders as she wandered around the university library. Vivienne didn’t think she had a type, but then she saw PPJG and yeah, she very much had a type. It was PPJG: brown eyes, pretty curls, great style, a type of walk that made it seem like she was floating. (Or was Vivienne literally just with her head in clouds? Maybe  _ she  _ shouldn’t drink four coffees a day anymore.) 

And after that, she saw the girl everywhere. In lecture halls, in hallways, in the lounge of one of the dorms with music faculty kids, in the library. It was like reading a word somewhere and then suddenly having it pop up all the time. Only now, Vivienne was mortified the girl somehow  _ knew.  _ Could she sense it? Like, seismically? Vivienne knew it sounded insane, but there was just something so untouchable, so magical about this girl and it wouldn’t surprise her if she ended up being a Sailor Moon-esque character in secret. 

She was working on her modern lit paper at one of the big tables in the library, headphones on and chewing gum. The gum was for the nerves. Viv was keenly aware PPJG sat just a few feet away from her on the other side of the table and it was freaking her out. As usual, the girl was on her own wavelength. 

PPJG was one of those girls that had no idea people stared at her when she walked by, going through life by her own beat, but Viv saw the looks. From girls and boys. PPJG seemed single though. No one clinging around her in a “we’re dating” kind of way. Vivienne shouldn’t assume the girl’s status, but it didn’t stop her from letting hope bloom in her chest. 

Did she have a name, major, sexuality, voice - anything? Nope. And it didn’t matter  _ at all. _

But then the unthinkable happened. She wished she meditated that morning, anything to keep her chi from throwing itself out of wack right now. 

PPJG reached over and tapped Viv’s water bottle. ‘Excuse me?’

Panic. Pure fucking panic. Scotty should beam her up right now. PPJG was there and she was acknowledging Viv’s existence and was directly talking to her. Rushing to pull her headphones from her head, she blurted: ‘What?’

The girl smiled at her and Viv was done. ‘I was wondering if I could borrow a highlighter? I lost mine. Any colour is fine.’

Vivienne gaped at her. How could a speaking voice be this pretty? Why was PPJG literally perfect?

‘Uh,’ she stuttered, eyes falling from the girl’s expectant gaze to her pouch. A beat later, she finally grabbed one and practically chucked it into the girl’s face. 

The girl was able to catch it, surprised by the abrupt motion. Great. Now she must think Viv was insane. The smile remained though. ‘Thanks.’

‘No problem,’ Vivienne muttered, squeaky. 

Okay. Sure. Her heart was going haywire and she was this close to dying from a stroke, but this was progress, right? PPJG had her highlighter. She would eventually give it back. Maybe Vivienne scrounged up enough courage by then to ask for a name. Calling her Purple Puffer Jacket Girl in her head was becoming exhausting. 

PPJG seemed restless though. She was constantly flitting between her handbook and phone, barely using the highlighter she asked Viv for. Irrationally, she thought that someone clued her in on Viv’s crush on her and that was why she was jittery. It was nonsense, obviously, but nothing about this day was normal.

It left her mouth before she wanted to. ‘Are you okay?’

PPJG looked up, wide-eyed, and shrugged a moment later. ‘Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Sorry,’ she chuckled and Viv wondered if her dark skin decided to blush for the first time. ‘I’m waiting on a text. Am I shaking the table?’

‘Oh! No.’ Vivienne held her hands out, trying to diffuse any worry the girl had. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’m, uh, nervous too.’

She nodded sympathetically. ‘Paper stress?’

‘Yeah… paper stress.’ Viv grimaced. ‘What’re you, uh, working on?’ 

‘I’m kind of just distracting myself reading a unit,’ PPJG whispered, as if telling her a scandalous secret. ‘Needed to do something till one.’

Vivienne looked at the giant clock on the wall. A few minutes to one. 

‘I’m Julie, by the way,’ she continued and the angels began to sing in Viv’s head. ‘You’re also in the library a lot.’

Julie  _ noticed  _ her? Was this a sign? Was Vivienne supposed to be flirting right now? It was a lot easier when it was just a picture on Hinge. She took a breath. Just  _ talk  _ to her.

‘Yeah…’ Carefully, she smiled. ‘I’m Vivienne. I’ve, uh, seen you around here too.’

Julie’s phone lit up and the girl grinned, handing Vivienne her highlighter back. ‘Nice to meet you, Vivienne. And thanks for the highlighter.’

Viv nodded and watched as the girl excitedly grabbed her phone.  _ Julie. _ That could get her somewhere, right? She turned back to her paper, thrilled that after forty-six days she could finally say her crush wasn’t super pathetic anymore.

‘Surprise,’ a guy’s voice sang. 

Viv looked up and her stomach dropped to the floor, mortified. There, behind Julie, was a guy with his hands over her eyes. Julie was beaming. She flung herself out of her chair and jumped into his arms. He held her up and kissed her eagerly, one hand in her hair. The fact that this was a library fazed neither. 

Oh. So Julie  _ was  _ taken. She hasn’t seen the guy before, so maybe he went to a different college or just not at all. Maybe she dated actual adults with a life and not dweebish college kids. It wouldn’t surprise her. Julie seemed cool like that. 

The guy placed her back down, though Julie held onto his face. ‘I miss you so much,’ she muttered. 

‘I know,’ he sighed. The guy looked genuinely disappointed in himself. ‘I hate that Tony’s shifts fall at night.’

She chastely kissed him again. ‘It’s okay. You’re here now. Ice cream?’

A grin bloomed on his lips. Huh. He was in love. She didn’t think that  _ actually  _ happened nowadays. ‘Ice cream  _ with  _ sprinkles. I have a coupon. And who knows,’ he wiggled his brows, ‘maybe we’ll even get wine.’

Going along with the act, Julie batted her lashes. ‘How luxurious.’

Awesome. They were literal couple goals. Vivienne never stood a chance. 

Julie quickly packed her bag and shot Viv a grin, as if to say: “Look at him! Isn’t he cute?!”, and she smiled back weakly. Sure, he was cute. Just not the right gender. 

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Julie fell under the guy’s shoulder, slipped her arm around his waist, and stepped in sync outside the library doors. She heard their laughter and words become faint and then they were gone. Viv dropped her head on her laptop. Forty-six days down the drain. 

(Just like she saw Julie everywhere, she began to see  _ them  _ everywhere. She saw Julie dragging him away from a Kappa Kappa party, on the grass napping in the sun, behind the window of a coffee shop, her in his lap in the dorm lounge with her friends, and so forth. She later also found his name was Luke and that they were part of a band and have been since they were  _ sixteen.  _ They were high school sweethearts. How was that even a thing anymore?!)

(Vivienne decided to take Hinge more seriously that day.) 

> **COREY**

Why his heart decided to crush on a dude that was clearly straight, Corey didn’t know. Maybe karma for something he did ten years ago? It wouldn’t surprise him - he was an annoying middle schooler. 

Luke came in three weeks ago for a coffee. He knew that was his name because he told him after his order with a charming grin. Corey thought the grin was that did it. Some people just had a face that you couldn’t stop looking at and Luke was one of those fortunate souls. Every time, he asked for an americano and sat by the window for hours on end writing. It was shop policy to shoo customers away that only went for one drink and then hoarded seats, but he couldn’t bring himself to do the same to Luke. So what if the guy sat there for four hours? He seemed cool! 

What he wrote, Corey didn’t know either. He thought it was pretty old school at first, writing a novel in a notebook, but when he cleaned up other tables and passed Luke, he noticed that it looked more like poems. A hot poet. He didn’t realise that was a thing. Weren’t they supposed to be cat ladies and old men with beards? 

Sometimes, Luke went outside to talk to someone on the phone and that went on for at least twenty minutes. Sometimes he called, sometimes the other person called. Corey knew that, realistically, it was either a parent or a girlfriend, but his heart dejected that. Corey had a crush and that was final. Rude, honestly. 

Three weeks went by in this daily pattern and then it suddenly stopped for an entire week. Corey was stumped. There was no one to ogle during his shift and it was just plain boring when he couldn’t try and figure out what Luke was exactly writing. 

(So maybe it wasn’t a crush. Maybe he was just bored.  _ God. _ He didn’t know which was worse.) 

Seven days post absent Luke, a girl came in and asked for a chai latte. To his surprise, she wore something very distinct. He couldn’t put his finger on where he’d seen it before, but that red henley was familiar. 

‘Anything else?’, Corey asked. 

‘Uh-’ Before she could answer, the door whirled open and Luke walked in with the most dazzling smile ever. There it was again, that dumb stammering of the heart. Luke stuck his car keys in his back pocket, slung an arm around the girl’s shoulder and kissed the top of her head. Alright. Now his heart could finally stop being annoying and die because Luke was clearly taken by this girl. 

‘What’re you getting?’, he whispered. 

She smiled. ‘I already ordered. What do you want?’ 

Luke brought his eyes to Corey and nothing changed in his expression. Corey was probably labelled as the “coffee guy” in his head. ‘Can I have an americano, please?’

As they waited for him to make the drinks, he listened it on the conversation. Look, if his crush had to be stamped down after a month, then he was allowed to have some gossip for his colleagues.

‘You’re more happy than normal today,’ she observed. ‘Not that I’m complaining, but-’

‘Cause I finally got the afternoon instead of the night shift,’ he grinned. ‘I finally get to spend time with you again.’

Her smile was warm. ‘I finally get to wake up with you again.’ It was a whisper, but Corey was close enough to overhear. Which was unfortunate, because that was way too intimate and cutesy for him to know.

They  _ lived  _ together. Of all the fantasies Corey had about Luke, living with his very committed girlfriend wasn’t one of them. But if the girl went to UCLA - presumably, from the tote she was carrying - and he a poet, then how did they afford a place? Trust fund babies? It was Los Angeles; the idea wasn’t too farfetched.

He turned to give them their drinks just as they kissed. Corey made a face. PDA was  _ not  _ his thing. 

The couple sat at Luke’s table for hours, talking and laughing and - thank God - ordering more than just that one drink. The girl even got a slice of pie. 

Luke was playing with her fingers when Corey got a whiff of conversation. ‘What do you mean you  _ knew  _ that same week?’ 

She shrugged, abashed. ‘I think it was like, a Thursday. Dad asked what I was thinking about, and it was you, and that’s when I knew.’

Luke gaped at her. ‘Why’d you never tell me this?’

She giggled. ‘It didn’t seem important!’

‘Julie, I  _ genuinely  _ thought you hated me the first week.’ A nostalgic look crossed his face, intertwining their hands. ‘I almost had to force-invite myself to your house.’

‘Not almost. You did,’ she pointed out. ‘You  _ did  _ invite yourself.’

‘You let me come!’

‘Because I liked you,’ Julie deadpanned. 

Luke was floored. ‘But then you decide to  _ not  _ show it?’

Mulling over his words for a second, she decided on her own. ‘I think I got very obvious by mid-October.’

His expression fell flat. ‘I got obvious from day two.’

Aw, man. They were cute as fuck. Corey couldn’t even bring himself to feel sad over his obliterated crush. Her name even fit him well. Luke and Julie’s story was one of those Modern Love columns from The New York Times. 

Her face softened. ‘You were. I think that’s  _ why  _ I started liking you. You were just completely yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.’

Luke smiled in a way that was both timid and bright. It almost seemed inappropriate to be seen by strangers. Corey turned their back to them. 

‘It’s okay,’ he mumbled. ‘I got you in the end.’

A pause. ‘Can we go? I just wanna be with you.’

Damn. They must’ve missed each other a lot when Luke had these “night shifts”. He almost felt bad for being around the guy while Julie was miserable and alone. As they had paid by the counter, Luke only had to shrug on his jacket before leaving. Julie held out her hand, swallowed by the red sleeve, and he grabbed it. Without taking note of Corey, the pair left and he was eager to tell this romantic story between shifts. 

(Luke and Julie would sit at that same table many times after. Not all the time, not continuously the same day, but they would always return. Always the same smile, always playing with each other’s fingers, always an americano and chai latte. He’d hear about their lives and jobs (a band) and friends and it almost felt like he was a true acquaintance. The last time he saw them was two years and a bit after their first coffee date. Julie ran inside with red lipstick and a pretty dress and asked for a coffee and “if it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience” to put some amaretto in there too. Luke ran in after and kept teasing her as his “summa cum laude girl” and she teasing him how school work wouldn’t distract her anymore from the band and him - “him” emphasised. She paid for the contraband coffee and got dragged outside by Luke with a laugh. He saw them kiss and then they were gone forever.)

(Corey wasn’t a poet. Hell, he didn’t even read it. But he was certain the poets wrote about them when they tried to explain love. Them and Love kind of seemed interchangeable anyway.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch that capitol L in "Love" at the end? That's for all my AU readers haha. 
> 
> Modern Love is an actual column by the way! Always fun to check out if you have a minute to spare. 
> 
> Also, who else had nicknames for their crushes? I found out a guy used to call me "cute nerd" to his friends instead of my name, which........ fun? i guess? high school was wild.


	10. first year of marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day seen through Shawn Mendes' album: "Wonder" - if you'd like to follow my thought pattern and the story's atmosphere, please listen to these songs in order: 24 hours - teach me how to love - piece of you - dream - look up at the stars (or just loop 24 hours)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you read the title. buckle the fuck up. i also hardly slept and i wrote this between my unit of baroque and rococo art so you can BET i was feeling romantic.

If someone told him ten years ago that after meeting Julie and consequently warding of Nick’s avances by losing all inhibitions from peach shampoo, that he’d be sleeping next to her - he’d cry. Well, laugh awkwardly because that _definitely wasn’t_ a fantasy sixteen year old Luke had, and then cry. Because wow: he got lucky. 

Luke was an early riser. Always has been, always would be. Julie however, liked to sleep in. That could become a problem in the future, but all he could think of right now as he opened his eyes was that he’d rather stare at her for a bit. It sounded creepy, but it wasn’t. (“A _little_ creepy,” Alex would say in that high pitched tone.) Julie was the love of his life and his wife and bleary sunlight was streaming through the curtains and she looked so perfect even if her hair was a complete mess and her cheek was red from the pillow.

He loved her, the rest didn’t matter. 

She was curled into the curve of his body, one she had easily found all those years ago and never left since. Head on a soft patch of chest and shoulder, legs tangled with this, one hand either clutching his t-shirt or pads of fingers unconsciously caressing his skin. It was the best way to sleep and the only way he has known how to for a bit. (He remembered in high school how exhilarating it was to simply sleep with her. Nothing more. He slept a bit better, felt happier, more refreshed. Sex was great, but having her find him in her sleep without a problem? Fucking heaven.) 

(There was that one time though, like two years ago, when there was an extreme heat wave and they were snippy and grumpy with each other for a week. It was when Julie began fighting about why he bought cherry tomatoes instead of normal ones that they realised it was their lack of contact that made them antsy. The heat wave soon subsided and after, they laughed about it.)

His hand went through her hair, nose nuzzled against her as he couldn’t keep the smile of his face. His heart just felt giddy. His fingers got caught in a curl, carefully detangling himself and letting it fall on her cheek. Her lips twitched. 

He wished sixteen year old Luke could see twenty-six year old him right now. How that angry rocker boy would soon get hit with the electric hammer the second he arrived at LF Arts and how the crush he felt on the girl in the music room wouldn’t pass in a couple of months, or even a year. How it wouldn’t necessarily heal the hurt of estranged parents, but that it helped. A little. How he’d find someone, at just sixteen, that held his hand and saw the callouses and said: _okay. It’s okay. I have my callouses too._ How he’d soften and discovered the ways he wanted to love Julie - with trial and error. And she let him. And he let her. And here they were. 

This was their place and their bed and in a few hours, it would _still_ be theirs when he’d come home to her and see the ring on her finger and realise that they really have gone through a decade together. A decade with Julie. It felt like a minute.

Julie sighed and burrowed deeper into his shirt, a clear sign his hand on her skin and the slowly brightening light was spurring her awake. He didn’t want this moment to end. Luke closed his eyes too and held her tighter, closer. Julie’s smile stretched across his neck and locked their legs. He chuckled. They were just hugging now. 

‘Is this your way to keep me from going to the studio?’, he murmured. 

She kissed his neck. Yes, then. 

‘What if I have to pee?’

She kissed his neck.

‘What if _you_ have to pee?’

She kissed his Adam’s apple. (Okay, yeah, it was kind of hot how she could blindly find those spots. He had the best wife - what about it?)

‘What if…’ He pulled her on top of him with a puff, her bleary eyes now peering at him. A lazy smile teased her lips. ‘I wanna see your face?’

‘Permission granted,’ she whispered, voice raspy, and reached to kiss him. He let her, the warmth and love she gave washing over him. It was slow like the morning and tickled like the bass and struck deep like the drums. He only heard music when Julie caressed his jaw. 

He rolled them over, about to give her a kiss when she shielded her face with her hands. 

‘Permission over,’ she laughed. ‘Try again tomorrow.’

Luke rolled his eyes, heart lurching from her laugh, and dove to kiss her hands as wet as possible. She shrieked, calling him gross, and removed her hands. Ha! Peppering her skin with slow kisses as her giggles faltered made him feel drunk. The lightness in his head and the lull in his voice and the sigh of her body. He found her gazing at him when he reached her cheeks, silent. 

‘What?’, he whispered. 

Her stare flitted between both his eyes, as if she couldn’t choose which one was her most dear. He loved the way she looked at him. It always felt purposeful.

A hand drifted to his cheek, caressing the stubble he’d shave. ‘I’m really happy right now,’ she whispered back, smile trembling to stay put. 

Luke held her hand against his face, kissing the palm. Falling down beside her again, he said: ‘Too happy to pee?’

‘Luke.’

‘I have to make a joke cause your smile is gonna make me cry,’ he breathed, rubbing his mouth against her shoulder to not let it happen. Julie rolled on her side to face him and that smile was still there and _God_ \- who allowed her to have the sun in her soul?

They looked at each other for a beat. She’s changed quite a bit since he met her, but also not at all. Her features have shifted into those of a young woman and every day, he was left stumbling over how gorgeous she was. If young Luke was already going insane over her “pretty brown eyes”, then he wasn’t ready for how much more Julie would become. But the way she loved him hasn’t changed. It just became more full each year, more them in every touch and talk and smile. That smile, now breaking the lines in her skin from his confession, would always be his favourite image in the world. Maybe even his favourite song, with the way a hum left her as she edged closer. 

‘Now I _definitely_ don’t want you to leave,’ she teased and nudged his foot with hers. Crawling back in his embrace and making Luke realise that home was quite literally her breath on his skin, she whispered, ‘What if we just stay here?’

Luke knew she meant the bed. This embrace, even. He knew that. But for him, it meant everything. It meant this moment, this morning, the way she smiled and giggled and stared and frowned and kissed and the way he kissed her and how she allowed him to wake up first so he could look at her even if she was already kind of awake. 

What if they just stayed in the culmination of everything? (He’d never leave. The band would split. He’d feel marginally bad about it. Woops. Julie could literally ask anything and he’d likely say yes.) 

Her hand slipped beneath his t-shirt, her head felt heavier, the shifting of her legs stilled. He stifled a laugh. Julie has fallen asleep again. 

‘Okay,’ he mumbled, somehow being dragged into slumber again himself. Luke blamed the motion of her fingers. ‘Ten… more… min-…’

***

When Julie woke up, he wasn’t there anymore. His indent was, enough to make her smile and stretch her body across to feel the warmth he left. Luke was a literal radiator - a joy during the winter, absolute hell in the summer. (God, remember that heat wave?!) But during those in between seasons like now, it was just perfect, like a gentle breeze against one’s face but then solid and human and _hers._ A decade with Luke. She thought about it every day at least once this year.

(Maybe because it was part of their vows and that moment would be etched in her memory forever. The way he was blinking back tears and she was letting them fall, uncaring about her make-up, as he told her his life began when he met her, and that everything before was just that: before. A decade with Luke. It felt like a minute. Then Luke as her husband was barely a nanosecond.) 

Faintly, she heard the hum of the radio. It seeped through the crack of the door and let natural light fall in from the large windows of their apartment. Despite the national success of the band (soon to be international with a concert in the UK and France), both preferred a small apartment over those mammoth lofts they visited previously. They only needed each other and a functioning stove and a comfy couch and thick walls as to not disturb neighbours with their instruments. Shiny marble tops and coloured LED lighting wasn’t a necessity. Plus, Julie loved how it normalised their hectic lives. After singing and making music and travelling and touring, they could come home to their humble little place and fall on the couch and be quiet with one another and it was just _perfect._ Then they weren’t Julie and Luke from glamourous band Julie and The Phantoms. Just Luke and Julie. 

Her _husband_ Luke. She hid her smile in the mattress. Remembering that never got old. 

(They’ve already been married in spirit since they were, like, twenty-one, but the cold band around her finger was a gentle reminder that this was real. He loved her and he would never stop loving her and vice versa.) 

Slowly, she crawled out of bed and pulled on her discarded sweatpants to hide from the morning cold. Peering from the curtains, she realised life had already begun outside. Inside, time stood still. 

Julie opened the bedroom door and instantly smiled at the sight of Luke. Him, in front of the stove, bobbing his head to the soft track on the radio while scrambling eggs. Shirtless, for some reason. Julie liked to joke his affinity to sleeveless shirts has made him unaffected to the cold, like animals creating habits throughout evolution. This one seemed useless, but Julie didn’t mind the view. 

She pressed herself into his back (yup, he was warm) and kissed him between his shoulder blades. She heard him smile. ‘Are you trying to tempt me?’, she muttered. 

His hand tapped her hip. ‘I was just going to ask the same thing.’

Rolling her eyes, she bounced back. ‘It’s you looking all shirtless like that.’

‘It’s _you_ pressing into me.’ Luke looked over his shoulder, eyes glinting with tease. 

‘Am I prancing around in my bikini?’

‘That’s the point. You’re hot just like this.’ And then he gave her a mocking look. ‘And are you _objectifying_ me?’ 

Julie grinned. ‘What if I am?’

He whirled around and kissed her against the kitchen island, rough and her back arched and his hand on her jaw and yes - she was exactly trying to tempt him. Wish granted. Her leg trailed up his, hands gripping his sweatpants, when he pulled back with a mischievous grin and returned to the eggs. He _whistled._

‘That’s mean,’ she pouted, going to stand next to him. The eggs were kind of burned from their intermezzo, but it was still edible. Reggie would’ve raised havoc though. 

His hand went around her waist and squeezed her hip. ‘Payback for that whole “permission” thing,’ he laughed, Julie almost having to ask what he was talking about because her mind definitely hadn’t completely woken up by then. He turned the stove off. ‘Don’t tell Reggie I fucked up the eggs.’

She tsked, feeling particularly bold that morning. ‘You could’ve been fucking me and then I wouldn’t have to tell him.’

Luke paused, the hand gripping her hip tightening. Stifling a giggle, she looked up at him amused. How young Julie ever thought he didn’t find her attractive was laughable. She met his gaze evenly, not giving an inch. 

His voice was low. ‘When did you concoct this little plan?’

Shrugging, she began to walk backwards, his hand like a magnet stuck to her skin. ‘Just now, when you weren’t there. I asked to stay in bed, right?’

His eyes were glassy, blinking. ‘I didn’t think that far.’

She kept shrugging and walking backwards, victory building on her lips as her back fell against the bedroom door and he was still in front of her, hand glued on hip. His fingers clenched around the fabric. 

And then she couldn’t keep up the act anymore. Julie pulled him in for a searing kiss as he hoisted her up, legs locked on his torso. With their bodies flush together, it felt like coming home. They separated to grin. He kissed her jaw. 

‘Julie Molina is tempting me with sex? How embarrassing,’ he whispered, pushing the door open. 

Almost rolling her eyes if it wasn’t for how flustered she felt, she quipped: ‘I’m your wife, you idiot.’

‘Now _that’s_ a turn-on!’ 

***

‘We’re not going to the studio, huh?’, Julie whispered, a little smug, as Luke absentmindedly trailed his fingers across her silhouette. Raising his eyes to look at her, breath hitched in her throat from the reverence it held.

Being loved by Luke was overwhelmingly dizzying and very easy all at once. It was like she was his religion and he worshipped her in simple prayers like he was born to do it. Loving Luke was like loving the sun. Needed and wanted and cherished. 

Noon has passed by now and the only places they’ve been were the bedroom, kitchen island, and bathroom. (Someone finally had to pee.) She hasn’t felt hungry or thirsty - being here was enough. 

‘You’re inspiring me right now,’ he smiled, saying the words like it was a simple fact and not a heart-stoppingly beautiful secret. ‘I think that’s enough.’

Julie peered, amused. ‘Alex isn’t going to want to sing about us in the bedroom.’

His grin turned boyish. ‘I’ll use some symbolism. Like drugs, coffee,’ he kissed her, ‘clay, flowers,’ he kissed her, ‘the ocean.’

She wiggled her brows as he kissed her neck. ‘Hmm… my body is like an ocean?’

If she thought he’d laugh at her joke, she was wrong. His lips froze in her skin as he gave her a wide-eyed expression like she just unlocked a riddle. Her gaze fell flat. Not this again. 

He kissed her cheek in excitement, sloppy. ‘You’re a genius!’ and rushed out of bed. Julie let out a whine as he did, watching a butt-naked Luke run for his notebook. Typical. He wasn’t lying when he said she was his muse. Julie just wished it wasn’t _right now._

‘It was a joke!’, she yelled. 

He jumped back into bed. ‘Nope!’ Scribbling down what she said, he added: ‘Keep it coming!’

Alright. Better finish her stream of creativity while she was at it. A nude Luke sitting cross-legged on the sheets wasn’t exactly turning her on anyway. She looked at the ceiling and mustered for associations to come. ‘Oceans are wild and, I don’t know, mysterious?’

He hummed a melody under his breath as he nodded thoughtfully. 

‘You’re exploring me- I mean, the ocean. So… “I’m devoted to explore you”?’

Luke leaned forward and placed his notebook on her stomach. Awesome. She wondered how other couples finished up sexy times. Did they also use each other as a table? Julie truly believed Luke only had two channels: “My Wife, Julie Patterson!” and “Music” and that they sometimes accidentally got hotwired together. She supposed she couldn’t exactly complain though. 

‘Have we been stunting our writing by not workshopping our sex life?’ Luke seemed genuinely horrified by the thought, as if he could’ve been even a better songwriter than he already was - as if big names like The Killers and Anderson Paak didn’t fight to collaborate with him.

She rolled her eyes. ‘I think we would still be on the same trajectory. Do you also wanna write about how shy we were even discussing it, babe?’

Luke pouted as he scratched something out. ‘That was legit scary, Jules.’

Drumming against the mattress, she asked: ‘What do you have?’

For a minute came no reply, just humming and scratching and the notebook poking her stomach, all the while she was staring at the ceiling and secretly enjoying this. This was their natural habitat. Love and music intertwined, but separated enough that she knew he’d place it on his nightstand in fifteen minutes and then not think about it for a while. It wasn’t always like that. Either she so in her head about instrumentals and not noticing he needed her, or him cracking his skull open over a few lyrics not realising she called him. Love and patience helped them through it; to the point where this level of trust and comfort was able. A meandering hand curled into his locks. She heard him smile. 

‘Alright, alright,’ he mumbled, crawling beside her and placing the notebook upright on his stomach. Luke whispered the lyrics in her ear. 

_Ooh, your body's like an ocean  
_ _I'm devoted  
_ _To explore you  
_ _Ooh, what do you desire?_  
 _I'm inspired  
I'll do it for you _

Julie turned her head, noses nudging. ‘He’ll definitely know what it’s about,’ she giggled. 

He kissed her nose. ‘Then it’s a bonus track without drums and he can stomp his feet. Easy.’

Unable to keep the smile of her face, because _God_ her husband was cute, she smacked a kiss on his cheek. It was so incredibly giddy and childlike that his grin widened in reaction. She couldn’t help it! He wrote her this song that she knew would be amazing and she couldn’t wait to perform it for the audience and play up the chemistry. Julie was almost exasperated how much she loved him. Every time she thought she hit the bottom, that there nothing left to give, it opened up again and she fell in deeper. Would he continue to take her breath away even when they were old and grey? Or would it be like the burn of a firepit - reliable and everlasting and comforting. No surprises left, just the warmth of his arm. 

She shouldn't think about that right now. They were twenty-six and high on love and they’d stay on their island for as long as possible. 

With that in mind, she placed her chin on his chest. ‘Have you written about me before and I don’t know about it?’ She was pretty sure she has seen all the songs, but the sudden burst of inspiration made her curious. What if he sat in the subway once, or while waiting on a coffee, and a tune suddenly came to him and then kept it a secret?

The pink of his cheeks told her what she needed to know. Her fingers scratched against his sternum. ‘Hm?’

He dropped the open notebook on his head with a groan. ‘You’re gonna laugh.’

‘I highly doubt it.’

‘You are.’

‘Try me.’

His eyes peeked at her from the side, noting her straight face. She’d _try_ to not laugh. Maybe it was super adorable and she’d cry. She wouldn’t put it past her. With a resigned sigh, he flicked to an earlier page.

‘I wrote it after one of our nights at Tony’s. This guy was all over you and-’

‘Luke Patterson,’ she gasped, excitement filling her veins. ‘You wrote me a _jealousy_ song?’

He hesitated. ‘I can’t tell whether you’re turned on or annoyed.’

‘The first.’ He let out a breath. ‘Can I see?’

Her eyes fell on the lyrics and she stumped. When Luke got jealous he always kind of downplayed it. It never became a big thing. He’d make a dubious comment or kiss her and that would be the end of it. She never realised how deep some of these feelings went, how desirable she seemed towards other people according to him. While Julie wasn’t his possession, his words of “not wanting to share” and feeling the need to let everyone know she was his, left her warm. He thought she’d _laugh_ at this? This song with the heavy bass and the sultry lyrics and the need displayed for her? If she hadn’t married him already, she’d go on one knee right now. Gah! Why was he so-!

‘What’re you thinking?’, he asked, tinged with nerves. 

‘I think…’ She threw the book on the ground, him letting out a _hey!_ before she grabbed his face and crawled on top of him. ‘I’m ready for round two. You?’

He paused, blinked, looked from the book to her face, put the pieces together and let a Cheshire smirk bloom on his lips. ‘You’re awesome.’

***

If Luke ever thought he had Julie figured out, he was sorely mistaken. There she was, standing in front of their closet at three in the afternoon as _now_ felt like the right time to put on actual clothes, after she successfully tempted him into sex. Twice. It confused and enthralled him all the same. Luke always thought marriage would be boring - hell, that being in a committed relationship would be boring! He saw how fucked up the relationship was between his parents and the parents of his friends, and figured for himself by age ten that it was simply not for him. It’d be music and friends and, when he was a little older, casual relationships. Like those typical rock stars. Sometimes Luke let himself wonder what that would’ve been like: not meeting Julie at sixteen and basically having his future planned out right then and there. Not falling in love and following the direction he mapped out for himself. Would he be happy right now? Being “casual”? Because Luke had no clue if he was even able to be “casual”. He met Julie and by day two wanted to keep meeting her, again and again and again. 

And he was still meeting her. 

‘Wanna impress our Postmates dude when you open the door?’, he teased.

She shot a look over her shoulder, the least threatening expression while in his boxers and her sleeping top. 

‘I want to feel productive.’

He smirked. ‘I think we were _pretty_ productive today.’

Hearing the smile in her voice, she said: ‘We haven’t gone to the studio.’

‘You wanted to stay,’ he laughed, knowing he won this one. 

She paused. ‘Oh, yeah.’

‘And we wrote a verse. That’s sometimes more than other days.’ He watched as she undressed and pulled on a short, breezy dress. Coincidentally, it was yellow and made him think of her as the sun once more. (Huh. Maybe that Shakespearean dude was onto something.)

She sat on his side of the bed with a smile. Grabbing her hand, he made her fingers draw circles on his chest. Sometimes, in between bigger moments, he felt like a giddy teen again. Like yeah, they now did stuff like taxes and had to look through work emails their manager went over first and continuously had a pile of dishes to wash, but it was also just this. Julie in a pretty dress giving him that pretty smile and letting her fingers soothe his stammering heart and the world didn’t seem so horrible when she did.

Just as he was about to pull her in, she jumped away and grabbed his book from the floor. ‘Productivity!’, she yelled, walking into the main room. 

He puffed. ‘You’re a hypocrite!’ 

Her crystal laugh from behind those walls made him sit up. ‘Do you wanna work on our not-sex song or what?!’

God damn it, Jules. She was gonna kill him. 

Sneaking out of bed and swiftly pulling on his sweatpants from before, he stuck his head out the door and found her with her back towards him. Bingo. He bolted forward and threw her over his shoulder with a victorious cry. Julie let out a squeal, followed by a string of giggles as he ran for the couch. His heart was so full, so fucking bursting with joy that he was waiting for it to just stop. (It never would.) Dumping her on the couch, he caught sight of her red face and tears of laughter slipping down her cheeks. She clutched her stomach, unable to stop. 

He loved her, he loved her, he loved her, he loved her. He was over the fucking moon intensely unconditionally in love with this girl. 

Falling down next to her, he promptly placed her on his lap and took the notebook from her hands. She placed her back against his chest, his chin on her shoulder. It would be a bitch to write like this, but his scrawl was illegible anyway. 

‘Okay, boss,’ he teased, ‘whatcha got?’

***

Aight. He was probably not gonna get rated well. 

Isaiah was horribly late. Somehow, his GPS got messed up and completely went the other way than the apartment building he was intended to. The food probably wasn’t cold yet, but he knew how mean people could get if their food was even a minute late. Gotta love the service industry. So yeah, “horribly late” meant seven minutes. He hoped the buyers didn’t die seven minutes ago from hunger since their burrito bowls were in the fucking East Village instead of Greenwich. Fuck life, honestly. 

“Luke” hasn’t cursed him out in a call though, so they mustn’t be too pressed on time. 

Finally arriving at the apartment, he stepped from his motorcycle with a puff and peered at the million of buttons on the side of the door. 702. He buzzed it. Thirty seconds later, the door hummed and Isaiah pushed it open. Please don’t be assholes, please don’t be assholes, … 

Before he reached the door, he heard rumbling. Isaiah stilled for a second. Too many times has a door opened to reveal not an asshole, but a _freak._ The shit his eyes had to take, dude. Whatever. This was his job and if he knocked the door right now, he might still get two stars.

The door flung open with a laugh, a young woman’s face turned to something behind her as she yelled: ‘Stop!’

Her grin then was directed to Isaiah, expectant. She looked kind of familiar, which either meant she just had one of those faces or he saw her in a car commercial or something. Or a billboard Pantene ad, noting how pretty her hair was. Or she was just a girl from LA. 

Isaiah grabbed their order from his insulated backpack. ‘Here you go, miss. Sorry for the delay.’

She waved it off. ‘No problem, we weren’t paying attention any- ah!’ A guy dove towards her and practically chucked her away from the door with a beam. The hands which held the bowls were frozen, unsure of what he just witnessed. 

‘Hey,’ the guy smiled. Wait. Not a guy. This was _Luke Patterson._ Hold the fucking phone. These were Luke Patterson and Julie Molina. Or no: Julie Patterson. They were married. They lived here. Isaiah blinked. They lived… _here?_ In a random ass Greenwich apartment? Weren’t they rich as fuck and able to live in some million dollar loft? 

Fucking hell. He got the it couple’s order _late._ Were they able to give him less than zero stars? Because they were famous and all? 

‘Uh-’, he stuttered. 

Luke seemed unfazed, not grabbing the bowls from Isaiah and clapping his hands. ‘Awesome! We need a layman’s opinion!’

‘What?’

Julie appeared back in the doorway, pulling on Luke’s arm. ‘Don’t bother him, babe!’

‘No, no, no, it’ll only take a second!’ His smile that seemed way too sweet to be seen by a Postmates employee made Isaiah take a step back. Should he just… leave the bowls on the floor? 

Before he could, Luke said: ‘Okay, what do you think sounds best? _Laced_ with strawberries or _tinged_ with strawberries?’

Julie was mortified. ‘Luke!’

Unfortunately, Isaiah had an inkling what it was implying and nodded curtly at the bowls. ‘Your food?’

She smiled apologetically and took it from his grasp. ‘Yes. Thank you!’

Luke bounced on his heels as he watched her go to the kitchen, then looking back at Isaiah with a wink. He was thoroughly ready for a drink. ‘She gets embarrassed cause she’s still coming to terms with her crush on me.’

‘I heard that!’, Julie yelled. ‘Don’t believe a single word!’

Was Isaiah supposed to reply to that? Was he supposed to sign an NDA? What the fuck was going on?

‘So?’ Luke stared at him, wide eyes in an earnest tilt as if he genuinely respected this random dude’s opinion. Isaiah reckoned it’d be pretty cool to say he helped Julie and The Phantoms write a song. 

‘Laced,’ he said. A smile quirked on his lips. ‘“Laced” sounds dope. Kind of like strawberries are a drug or something.’

The singer was gaping like Isaiah told him Santa Claus was actually real. ‘Yes! Yes! That’s exactly - Jules, I win!’

She groaned.

Isaiah jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, a grimace on his face. ‘Can I, uh, go?’

‘Oh, yeah.’ Luke laughed. ‘Thanks for the food. Bye!’ And then one of the members of the biggest bands of this generation closed the door on him. Isaiah was flabbergasted. Walking to the elevator, he wondered if any of what just happened was real or just a sleep deprived fever dream.

Well, then. At least he had a story to tell when he came home to his own girlfriend now. 

***

‘Luke,’ she whined, patting his arm. 

‘Just a second,’ he muttered, eyes bleary and small as he tried to focus on the notebook illuminated by the lamp on his night stand. Julie laid on her stomach, head on pillow to shield her eyes from the light. It was somewhere around midnight and _yeah_ \- they haven’t left the apartment. Julie had gotten her wish fulfilled, but Luke was also pleased how he was able to spend the day just with her. Not shared with Reg or Alex or managers or producers or anyone (except for that Postmates guy, who was like, a sign from God or something; creative genius that dude). Just them. Luke used to think he constantly needed noise and people around him, a buzz of liveliness to keep him from fidgeting and boredom. But now he knew that wasn’t true. He’s known it for a while, but this confirmed it once more. He didn’t need millions of people around him. He only needed Julie. Julie, who has touched his soul and decided to nestle her home there. Julie, who created the most beautiful symphonies in his head with just the quirk of her lip or the touch of her skin. 

Julie, who was waiting on him right now. 

He placed the book on the stand and flicked the light off. Julie sighed in relief. 

‘Impatient,’ he mumbled, his tone light. 

Julie found him in the dark, his heart soaring to great heights as she found the curve in which she fit with ease. This never got old. Burrowed in the comforter and the warmth of Luke’s chest, she murmured: ‘You like it.’

Luke hummed. He did. He liked her when she was patient and impatient, he liked her when she was angry and happy and sad and horny and frustrated and drunk and when she was singing and dancing and laughing and sleeping. Because he knew that if anything happened and they called each other out on their BS, they’d sit down and talk about it. They were too in love for anything to break the bond they had. Too in love for their souls to splinter and go. 

Nothing would ever change the way they felt about each other. And with that thought, Luke and Julie checked off another day of married life and fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this wasn't an outside POV, but I feel like this work has just become my place to throw whatever i want. these excerpts are essentially stories i wouldn't fully flesh out because i don't wanna write over 20k of just... cute juke. my angsty heart needs violence and tears lmao. 
> 
> also, isaiah is all of us.


	11. the adolescent years - part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone is amused by love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small gift to those that have read "i've got this crazy feeling this isn't our first time around" but certainly not a spoiler if you haven't read it. if you know you know ;-)

> **BECCA**

Anyone that met Becca for only five minutes knew that she didn’t care about love. Romantic love, that is. She didn’t care about being mushy, gushy, gooey with a significant other and completely lose her marbles when one was around that person. It was crazy! Her grandmother was a single woman, her mom was, and so would she. Flings stayed meaningless and she remained happy. Life was easy this way. 

Just recently, she found out that one of her best friends, Everett, was in the pits of despair after his boyfriend broke up with him. His boyfriend of less than a year. But he claimed he loved the guy and then didn’t leave his apartment for _two weeks._ He grew a beard. Yeah. It was that bad. When she saw things like that, it only grew her aversion towards anything love-related. Valentine’s Day was dumb and purely withstanding for capitalistic reasons, “infatuation” was the same drug exploding in your brain as lust, crushes were superficial and marriage - _Christ!_ What was the point?! People deliberately tying each other to themselves, bank account and all. And those without a pre-nup were just plain stupid. 

To cheer up Everett With Beard, Becca has convinced him to go to an open mic and scope out the good singers and boo the bad ones. Getting him out the door was a struggle, but she managed to put him some real pants and not bawl on the subway. His face was still puffy though. Whatever. Some air and music would do him good. 

They arrived as someone was singing, some hipster dude with an acoustic guitar crooning about sex using coffee as a symbol. It was painfully bad. It got Everett to quirk a smile though, which she counted as a win. 

‘See!’, she said as they sat down at one of the round, mahogany tables. ‘Told you you’d like it!’

The Williamsburg crowd weakly clapped when he finished (New Yorkers were brutal and would _never_ give an inch - she lived for it) and the emcee announced the next one. Becca looked around, trying to see a familiar face or one the regulars. She didn’t, but she did see a hot guy. Toned body, brown hair in need of a haircut (a Brooklyn staple), chains hanging from his pants, nervous energy around him as he drummed his fingers on the table. He was alone. If this were any other time, she’d go up to him and start a chat. But Everett needed her tonight and honestly - she could go on Tinder in like two hours and find a carbon copy of the dude three tables down. 

Three more performers came and went, all quite unremarkable but each time lifting Everett’s spirit a little. When the third ended, he was even chuckling and asking for another beer. Becca smiled. He’d be alright. Might even tempt him to shave that horrible beard of his before bed. 

The emcee jumped on. ‘Next up: Julie with “point of view”!’

A young woman came on and sat behind the battered keyboard with a smile. (She kind of looked familiar, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.) From her periphery, she noticed Hot Guy sitting up straight and leaning forward. Oof. If his type was Julie, then Becca definitely wasn’t. They were literally polar opposites in terms of looks. Eh. “Types” were dumb anyway. 

‘Hi,’ she said, voice light. ‘I wrote this for my fiancé. He’s in the crowd somewhere. Can’t see him though.’ Julie giggled. Becca rolled her eyes. Oh, boy. Some sappy love song? Really? Right as Everett was only seventy percent miserable? ‘Thought I’d surprise him with this. Thank you.’

Her fingers began to effortlessly play the intro, a smooth and full sound filling the space. Becca perked up slightly. Julie was the first that actually seemed to have a good understanding of instrumentals. Was she an actual musician? 

And then she opened her mouth and it confirmed her suspicion. 

_It's like you got superpowers  
_ _Turn my minutes into hours  
_ _You got more than 20-20, babe  
_ _Made of glass the way you see through me_

Her song began low and slow, though her voice was anything but. Her sound was beautiful, a strong timbre melting with the piano and insanely controlled. She reached every note with ease, the lovesick grin on her face making every word come out with an emotion Becca couldn’t describe. Couldn’t understand. 

_You know me better than I do  
_ _Can't seem to keep nothing from you  
_ _How you touch my soul from the outside?  
_ _Permeate my ego and my pride_

“Touch my soul”? The lyrics brought her out of the moment. Yikes. This Julie girl was deluded. Becca wasn’t dumb; she knew it was meant as imagery, but Julie genuinely seemed to believe every word tumbling from her lips. It was honestly creepy how devoted she seemed towards her fiancé when the dude could literally drop her any second of the day if he wanted to. Love was dumb. 

Her voice began to soar, breaking free from the confines of the bar and rattling anyone that passed by. 

_I wanna love me  
_ _The way that you love me  
_ _Ooh, for all of my pretty  
_ _And all of my ugly too  
_ _I'd love to see me from your point of view_

Something cut loose within Becca. She wanted to say it was cheesy, but… it wasn’t. Awfully romantic, yes, but she kind… sort of… got it? Perhaps more in the way she sometimes wondered how her friends saw her, but… (Christ, what was going on? Was some random girl really changing her mind about her entire system of life?)

It was pure, she decided. The song was pure. 

_I wanna trust me  
_ _The way that you trust me  
_ _Ooh, 'cause nobody ever loved me like you do  
_ _I'd love to see me from your point of view_

Melodies and harmonies and whistle notes and riffs and quick piano playing blended together in a stellar performance, people cheering her on from the sides as she hit her highest note yet. Becca was starstruck. Everett was in tears beside her, but he didn’t seem saddened from the way his body was swaying along to the music. Was this helping him? 

(If she was playing close attention to the others in the room, she’d notice that Hot Guy had stood up, hands twitching at his side and choked up. If she did see it, she must’ve passed it off as him fabricating a flirtatious pick-up line once Julie was done. She didn’t see the ring on his finger either.) 

The song crashed into other verses, the bridge and the chorus a couple of times over and then, three minutes later, it was over and no one knew what just happened to them. A miracle? Maybe. Becca didn’t know how to feel. There was a lump in her throat and her eyes were on fire and Everett was sniffling in his Carlsberg. Somehow, Julie has convinced proclaimed cynic Becca that love… maybe was worth something. 

The last note was pressed on the key and Julie, still smiling, muttered: ‘Thank you.’

The place roared alive with a standing ovation, people stomping on the floor and applauding and raising their glasses and bartenders whistling while filling glasses. And then it happened. Hot Guy rocked from his chair, the thing falling over, and sprinted towards the stage. Becca was about to yell something about being aggressive when Julie’s smile brightened and he pulled her in for a searing kiss.

Ah. The fiancé. Made sense.

In the spotlights, she noticed how his cheeks were glistening with tears, him kissing and laughing against the girl’s mouth and muttering words only they could hear. The crowd cooed. They looked so deeply, genuinely in love. Becca felt weird. Hollow, even. 

Everett voiced her thoughts. ‘I want that,’ he whined. 

‘Same,’ she breathed. 

‘Huh?’

The couple descended the stage and the clamour slowly died down. She heard their voices come closer. 

‘You were so beautiful,’ he whispered, arms around her waist. 

Julie clutched his t-shirt, cheek on his chest as she looked up at him adoringly. ‘You really liked it?’

‘I loved it. I love you.’ The two couldn’t stop smiling, Hot Guy kissing her temple as they sat down at their table. 

‘Becca? What did you just say?’ That was Everett, prodding her arm. He stared at her like he just saw an alien. _‘You_ want what they have. You?’

She scowled. ‘So?'

He sputtered out a laugh and drank the last of beer. ‘I’m sorry, but did you _not_ say last week how a couple at the park made you vomit?’

‘Mentally, yeah.’

‘ _Becca._ ’

‘What?’ She shrugged. ‘I just… it’s cute, okay? I’ve just never seen… it like _that._ Have you?’

Everett’s gaze fell on the couple for a second, pensive. He shook his head sadly. ‘No. Keith was not that.’

Not his ex again! ‘Keith should _not_ be your reference.’

He pouted. ‘Ugh. I know. Fair.’ Moaning, he added: ‘Why did this Julie girl have to rub it in our faces?’

Becca looked at them again. The way her chin was on his shoulder as she talked in his ear and he gazed at her like she was the only girl in the world. Maybe she was to him. Maybe they _have_ touched each other’s souls somehow. It made her curious. What was that like? What was it like to be extraordinarily trusting of one another that being with that person felt like you were just by yourself? That the lines blurred and you became a solid unit of pure, unadulterated love. Becca puffed. Argh! Why was she even _thinking_ about this?! 

Julie snuggled into the guy’s embrace and watched as the next performer came on (poor dude having to go after Julie), his fingers caressing her back. A silver ring glinted in the dimmed lighting. Their table has become an island - no entrance for those that did not bend the power of Love. (Their _island?_ _Power of Love?_ She was losing her fucking her mind.) 

‘Ha,’ Everett whispered as the guy began to sing. ‘You are _jealous_ of love. Welcome to the dark side, babe.’ 

Oh, _fuck._ He was right. She wanted what they had. Yikes. She was gonna call her sister tomorrow and apologise for ever making her feel bad for loving those Nancy Meyers movies. Shit. Becca _got it now._

Fucking hell, Julie and Hot Guy. Becca’s mojo was messed up forever.

> **BAZ**

If someone told him he’d be going to a concert with his little sister on a Saturday night when he could be out drinking with his buddies, he’d chortle. For a multitude of reasons. One, him and his sister were ten years apart (she thirteen, him twenty-three). Two, Marina and him had completely different tastes in music. She enjoyed pop, he metal. There was nothing wrong or right about either, but it was simply impossible to make them listen to the same radio station. Three, it was a _Saturday._ His unwind day! His “self care” day! Which to him, meant drinking with the buddies and play Settlers of Catan until somebody flipped the board in anger and had to smoke a cig outside to calm down. Yeah. Saturdays were perfect. 

But then Marina needed to have some fucking middle school drama and the friend she was supposed to go to the concert with dropped out. And then mom _forced him_ to take her. He argued that Marina just needed to grow a backbone and, while she was at it, make some better friends, but mom had none of it. She told him to take the piss and _just go._ Bonding time, or whatever. Sure, him and ‘Rina weren’t particularly close because of age gap, but it wasn’t like they detested each other. He was sure that in a couple of years, when they were on the same wave length mentally, they could hold a proper conversation. 

Whatever. Julie and The Phantoms it was. It sounded like a Kidz Bop band, but apparently it was “real music”. (Marina’s words, which she said vehemently and enraged. The poster on her wall with three goofballs and one shorter goof told him otherwise.) 

To prepare him for the concert during the drive, Marina put their debut titular EP on. Six songs, all pretty catchy. Still not his vibe though.

‘The lead guitarist - Luke - actually grew up on metal and used to be in a punk-rock band,’ Rina said matter-of-fact, arms crossed over her JATP sweatshirt. God, she was obsessed. 

Baz switched lanes. ‘Okay? Is that supposed to convince me?’ But then, cause he was kind of curious: ‘You know why he jumped ship?’

Marina began to coo and Baz knew he fucked up. A giddy middle schooler was worse than an angry middle schooler. ‘Because of Julie!’

‘The singer?’

‘Yes!’ She squealed. ‘They’re in love!’

He stifled a snort by biting his lip, humming an agreement. It showed though. He was never good actor. Marina’s excitement fell flat. ‘Why’re you laughing?’

As an older brother, it was his duty to burst her fantasy bubbles, right? Sure, she cried when he told her Santa wasn’t real when she was only six, but it saved their parents a lot of energy from pretending and sneaking around. He was doing her a favour. ‘I’m sorry, Rina,’ he chuckled. ‘But you know that’s probably for show, right? A performance for the audience?’

Marina harrumphed. ‘You don’t even _know_ them.’

‘And you do?!’

‘And!’ The girl continued unperturbed, chin raised. ‘It’s literally confirmed they’re engaged. It says so on their official Instagrams. You’ll see.’ She grinned like a villainous maniac and he was once again keenly reminded she was some amped up hormonal kid from eighth grade. This fucking sucked. ‘They’re _undeniable.’_

To his surprise, it wasn’t just children in the arena. There were kids of Marina’s age, sure, but most of them seemed to be his age: college or a little older. Alright. It wasn’t Kidz Bop. He’d give Marina an inch: they were an actual, established pop band. The girl herself seemed to have forgotten their argument in the car and was bouncing around, eyes glued on the stage as if they’d just pop on in a blink. Baz’s heart softened a bit; he found it a little adorable.

The concert began, a blonde dude behind the drums kicking off the night with an elaborate drum solo that went so fast Baz couldn’t keep up. Okay. Sure. Marina got him there. Three minutes after and consequently, hyping up the audience from the beat that drilled inside the ground, the three other members came on. The audience went batshit crazy. 

Baz was stunned.

It seemed like their songs weren’t meant for the car, as each song they played live was elevated with energy and power and chemistry between all four members. The band danced and jumped and never gave the crowd a second to believe they were tired. The sweat drenching their backs was a small indication of how hot it must be under the lights though. Baz felt a tinge of admiration. Julie and The Phantoms was pretty cool. The punk/metal undertone was even included in a few of the songs, like “Now Or Never” when Julie went off for a well-deserved three minute break.

“Now or Never” ended and the drummer and bassist literally raced of stage as if their life depended on it. The audience clamoured in confusion, yelling and hooting and asking for more. A charming grin came on the guitarist’s face and held his finger in front of his lips. 

‘Guys,’ he muttered in the mic, wiping the glistening sweat from his forehead. ‘Guys, quiet down for a sec I gotta tell you a secret.’

Not once has a crowd died down so fast. Baz almost laughed but then everyone would hear. A needle could drop if he wanted to. 

Luke smiled satisfied, as if he just knew how much they ate out of his hand. Baz wondered how big the guy’s ego was. ‘As some of you know - and don’t start screaming - it’s Julie’s birthday.’

A hoot came from far. 

‘Yeah,’ he grinned. ‘Julie’s the shortest but also the oldest. Twenty-five! Crazy, right?’

Another wave of quiet laughter. Marina and Baz shared a look. Where was he going with this? The girl gasped and whispered. ‘Maybe he wants us to sing happy birthday!’

‘So I was thinking about that.’ He let out another laugh, Baz suddenly realising the guy was _nervous._ After all this jumping around and screaming in the lyrics, he was nervous? Luke continued rambling. ‘And the fact that, y’know, she’s my fiancée, so uh-’

The rumble of a roaring crowd trembled in the distance. This dude was making them way too antsy and soon the arena would explode. Probably didn’t help he was hot too - hormones galore! 

‘I wrote her a song,’ he finished, his beam so bright Baz nearly took a step back. Marina was close to fainting. 

The exhilarated shrieks that echoed the arena was deafening, far larger than any metal concert he has even gone too. What the hell did Luke (or the entire band) do to these people?! 

‘So, I’m just gonna start cause, like, I’m pretty sure the crew is holding her hostage backstage right now,’ he snickered, ‘so, yeah, before I lose my guts. Here we go.’

The lights dimmed to a single blue spot on the stage, all else encased in pitch black. Once again, the audience hushed and, in true concert fashion, flashlights and lighters began to pop up around them. Luke sat behind Julie’s piano, fingers visibly shaking above the keys, taking an audible breath, and then he began. Baz felt something shift in his bones.

Why did he feel like he was about to experience something life changing? 

_It's a fairytale I can't explain  
_ _Full of words I don't know how to say  
_ _And without a little twist of fate  
_ _I know I'd still be searching, baby_

Baz tried to not make a face. But c’mon! They have a banger like “Now or Never” and then he wanted to dilute that with a sappy, soggy love song for his fiancée? The girl that already knew he liked her? What was the point?! Bring back the punk!

_I swear that you've been sent to save me  
_ _You're the only one that my heart keeps coming back to_

A breath. A pause. A beat before the storm. 

All of a sudden, white light blazed alive and showcased an entire orchestra and background singers, both Alex and Reg somehow back on their spots without anyone noticing. The crash of instruments shook the arena, cheers and shouts and whistles as Julie and The Phantoms elevated themselves to music legend status with one simple song about love. 

Luke jumped up and ran to the mic, head banging to the heavy beats as if with each hit, his body felt the impact of whatever he was feeling for her. 

The music stopped. 

_It's always been you, it's always been you_

And flared again. 

_It's always been you, it's always been you  
_ _It's always been you_

Baz stared at the stage in awe, unsure where to focus on as it was so bright and feverishly euphoric and breaking his ribs and rattling his brain and - holy shit. This was _good._

(Did he really just confess to liking a melodramatic pop song? Fuck his life.)

_And you've seen all my darkest fears  
_ _Like you've known me for a thousand years  
_ _The boy who's really underneath  
_ _All the scars and insecurities, baby_

No way this dude was actually fearful of anything. Then again, it wasn’t like Baz was baring his soul for thousands of people to see. But fuck. It was good. It was so good. He felt his body swaying to the heavy drums and his heart was singing with the rising of the trumpets. Marina was gonna tease him forever. 

The verse flowed back into the chorus twice and then it was over, but not before all the instruments rose to their highest peaks and Luke belted out notes Baz didn’t think guys were able to. The saying “blood, sweat and tears” held some truth for once. There was nothing for Luke left to give. It weirdly choked him up. Was this what love was supposed to look like? Like this all-encompassing, drowning, unstoppable force of emotion? Was it as simple as saying “It’s always been you”? 

Jesus fucking Christ, Baz was crying. He was fucking crying over some random ass song at a random ass concert he didn’t wanna go to in the first place. Marina was straight up bawling next to him. Awesome. The family Port has made their impression. The arena was still going insane, applause unwavering.

As the final notes faded out, Julie sprinted onto the stage from the side and straight into Luke’s awaiting arms. On the big screen, he saw how they were speaking against the other’s lips, laughing and crying and wiping those tears away for each other. A close-up of Luke’s fond expression right before he kissed Julie.

Oh. So that was love. 

A smile twitched on Baz’s face. Love was doing something this gigantic as orchestrating an entire song without her knowledge, yet as small as writing it in secret, probably with her sleeping next to him as he did. It was both. And that was pretty cool. 

Baz knew the message wouldn’t have held the same gravitas had it been punk or metal. _Maybe_ this overwhelming sound of pop wasn’t too horrible. Maybe he’d give this band another try.

A shaky, teary-eyed Julie came to the mic. ‘Uh, so that just happened. I-’ Her words stumped as Luke came over again and kissed her cheek, brushing a curl from her face. The arena cooed. She giggled. ‘Best birthday ever. Whatever! Not what you guys came here for! This is “Edge of Great”!’

(It was the song and the kiss on the lips and cheek, but it was also this song that did it for him. What made this band so cool. They were just passionate about music and life and love and it exuded from each of them. Especially Julie and Luke. And when they shared the mic at the end, Luke flicking her chin with a grin, he realised something with utter mortification.) 

  
(Oh God. Marina was right. And _he_ wasn’t. And she was _thirteen._ How the fuck did she know more about worldly things? Argh. Thanks a fucking lot Julie and Luke.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "pov" // ariana grande
> 
> "always been you" // shawn mendes (because i can't seem to STOP)


	12. the adolescent years - part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A november night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the works for about a month. enjoy <3
> 
> tumblr: @lydias--stiles

At twenty-four years old, Julie Molina realised that if the world had to end right this second, she wouldn’t even notice. And if it were any other moment, she’d see the rolling eyes of Flynn or the wise words of her mother flash in her mind. But it wasn’t. Because in this exact moment, Julie was wholeheartedly in love.

She didn’t know how late it was (one am? three am? somewhere in the am?) or how long she had been swaying in his arms, but Julie has always loved dancing with Luke.

Neither knew when it exactly started. Sure, they danced together at parties and concerts and festivals and onstage - but really dancing, waltzing, like this? It just… began one day. Maybe in the way it was happening right now, where they were drinking wine and quietly talking despite being the only ones in their apartment. An old song coming on the radio, barely audible and crooning and oh so, nostalgic. Luke pulling her up and her falling into his chest and one hand clasping hers and the other around her waist and then swaying for who knew how long. To an outsider, it must look insane. For them it was only natural. Julie and Luke have always been better at showing each other how they felt rather than telling. Whether it was writing each other a song or doing the dishes - both meant the same thing. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

She was humming the song under her breath, head on his shoulder as she felt her mind drift away into something akin to a dream. It made her smile. She was wide awake and dreaming all at once, all because he held her so close. Reverently. And every day she hoped that each smile and touch she gave him had the same intent and feeling. That he felt blissful too. (He was still in her arms, and she felt him smiling against her neck, so she must be doing something right.) 

The song was fading and her throat was choking up with emotion. It was partly the wine and partly the moment, but she didn’t want this image of perfection to end. She wanted to put it in a vial and let it embrace her whenever she was upset. Her fingers tightened around the fabric of his t-shirt, warm and soft and a heart within beating just for her. Don’t stop dancing, she wanted to say. Let’s keep dancing forever.

His lips kissed her neck as the song’s notes warbled and quieted and changed into another old track. She pulled back slightly to properly kiss his mouth, his heavy-lidded eyes and lazy smile solely fixed on her. Melting into one of the thousands of kisses they’ve shared, it never changed the way she experienced them. Some were fast and habitual, others were passionate and languid or drunk, like now, but all left a spark. There was no other way she could describe it. Maybe like walking in a long, dark hallway for years and years and years and suddenly being hit with that overwhelming sense of exhilaration and relief at the sight of a small, flickering candle in the distance.  _ Finally, _ you’d sigh. Life at last. Love at last. Warmth at last. A spark. 

(She asked him, once, what kissing her felt like for him since she had a hard time explaining it, and he simply handed her the song “Finally Free”. They wrote it when they were in junior year of high school. It was horribly juvenile and incredibly nostalgic. A fan favourite too. 

‘It’s the feeling I get singing the bridge. You know, when we like, share a mic and you give me those eyes-’  _ ‘I do not give you “eyes” on stage!’ _ ‘Nah, you do. But we wrote that when we just started dating and everything felt really big all the time, and it still feels like that when I kiss you. I feel like I’m doing something really monumental and important and music plays in my head.’  _ ‘Music always plays in your head.’ _ ‘I think of you a lot.’  _ ‘That’s not the same?’ _ ‘No, Jules. That’s not the same.’  _ ‘Then what is it like? Because a quick kiss can’t give you a full-on musical.’ _ ‘I guess it’s like… a spark. Like, in the song.’  _ ‘Yeah?’ _ ‘Yeah… why’re you smiling?’  _ ‘Because that’s also how I feel.’ _ )

Those conversations never really lead anywhere, since it wasn’t that important, but during nights like these she was tenderly reminded that both were deeply in love with the poetry of each other’s lips.

She turned away from him and sauntered towards their small kitchen. Luke followed after her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and lifting her up. Ticklish, she let out a giggle as his fingers dug into her sides and laughed when he placed her back down in front of the kitchen island. Casting a look over her shoulder, Luke avoided her amused gaze by kissing the shell of her ear. She couldn’t even bring herself to tease him about his touchy nature that hasn’t changed after all these years. She loved it. She loved him. She was drunk. She loved him more. 

‘Are we going to do lifts in our dances now?’, she whispered instead. 

Luke hummed, leaning his head on her shoulder as he watched her open a new bottle of red wine.

‘We should start Shazam-ing the songs we dance to,’ she continued, blurry eyes struggling with the cork. ‘The songs are always so beautiful but I never remember the lyrics and I would love-’ The words died on her tongue. They’ve discussed it before, obviously, but she didn’t want any tension about the future to lodge between this perfect moment. She didn’t want him to stop humming an unknown melody in her ear and circle his hands on her waist and back. She didn’t want to stop waking up in his arms and share quiet mornings and loud dinners and random bouquets of flowers for her and the post-its for him and- 

She loved him. She loved him so much. The cork finally came loose. 

And then a velvety open box slipped in front of her nose and it only confirmed that everything that was left unsaid, was shown instead. 

Wide-eyed, Julie turned towards him. Luke’s smile was trembling. 

‘I’ve had it for a while,’ he whispered, a little elated, as if the extent of his love for her was meant to be a secret. ‘Didn’t know how I was gonna do it… this felt like the right moment.’ 

The sudden shift gave her clarity, though her head was deliciously empty. There was nothing  _ to  _ think about. Loving Luke was a simple truth. It was only a matter of time before the silver band with a small gemstone embedded in the middle appeared before her. It was perfect. 

Gingerly, he grabbed the ring from the box and her heart was already soaring. Her breathing hitched as she had forgotten how to do anything but love him. Her lips quivered, matching his emotional puff of a chuckle. But then, right as he was about to get on one knee, she couldn’t hold back anymore. Julie pulled him back to his full height and let the words erupt in a flurry of devotion.

‘Yes! I do, I- yes, yes, yes, yes! Si. Yes. Yes-’ It flowed over in choked giggles, gasping for air as tears streamed down her face and he hastily, clumsily (because they were new to this) slipped it on her ring finger, rushing to kiss her. Her poor heart was going to burst from the pure, unfiltered euphoria she felt. 

A thumb caressed her cheek, in a way that made her wonder if he was born to do so. His expression was priceless, one she wanted to etch in her memory forever. Incredulous, breathless, a little drunk. ‘That’s a yes, right? I’m not dreaming?’ 

‘Yeah,’ she chuckled and she kissed him again. ‘I love you. I want to dance with you. I love you. I could marry you right now.’

His face brightened even more, if that was possible. ‘Yeah?’

She shrugged, abashed. ‘I’ve been calling you my husband for months now to new people I meet, so… yeah.’

Luke was rendered speechless and she wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or not. Did she really just get proposed to? Did they just promise to spent the rest of their lives loving one another without a flicker of doubt? Moving the wine out of the way, she placed herself on the island and let him cherish her - slowly this time. 

‘And I thought  _ I _ was the crazy one when it comes to you,’ Luke teased. As Julie nuzzled her blushing face in his neck, he asked: ‘Is the ring okay?’

Laughing, because how can he be thinking about that right now, she pecked the worry between his brows. ‘Luke, it’s perfect.’

Luke sighed in relief and dropped his head on hers. ‘Thank God. I almost followed Alex and Reg’s option.’

(They haven’t seen Alex and Reggie in months. Luke and her were in LA, Alex was on a European skateboarding tour with Willie, Reggie was in NYC temporarily playing bass in a jazz band. It must’ve been a long time ago. She wanted to cry. Her heart was Luke’s to forever keep.) 

Slinging her arms around his neck, a smile lilted her teasing whisper. ‘Can I know when you bought it?’

Luke grinned. His mischievous glint made her insides whoop and coil, her fingers weaving into his hair as she hoped her eager expression would make him relent. His gaze softened, the grin fading into a smile that held so much adventure it excited her to keep going, to keep loving him to find out what came next.

‘I think I’m gonna keep that one a secret.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave in the comments when you think he bought the ring, i wanna read the insanity.


	13. the adolescent years - part five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High dosages of Julie and Luke together can be annoying sometimes. Cute, but annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm bulldozering through all my one shots bc i'd rather chuck it at you *passionately* then sit on it

Louisa heard her next client before she saw them. Had she never encountered infatuated couples before that were already thinking of their honeymoon? Of course. Newly engaged couples literally were never not putting on googly eyes. She just normally didn't hear their yells before entering - fights usually happened during or after. She wondered if she made a mistake.

Julie Molina began emailing her a couple of weeks ago with the interest of letting Louisa plan their wedding. The young woman told Louisa that while their families would do it themselves, all were busy and the couple in question were part of a famous band, always on the go. Louisa hadn't heard of them, but one quick Google search made it quite clear Julie and Luke were not nobodies. (She went to Google Images and found literal gifs of fans filming their interactions on stage - she didn't know whether to find it creepy or cute.)

Luckily, Julie was nice. No sign of bratiness or haughtiness while emailing. Polite transactions quickly became pictures being sent back and forth and talking about moodboards and aesthetics and dresses. By week four, she had a nice "Julie and Luke" binder. It was neatly blinking in front of her.

From the window fronting her shop, Louisa saw a young woman shooting in sight and then a second later a guy zooming after her. Why they'd be running in cold NYC weather, Louisa was too perplexed to tell. He grabbed her wrist to pull her back and peeking from the scarf was a giant smile on the woman's lips. She saw something akin to teasing defeat, when the guy draped her wrist over his neck to kiss her. Louisa's face crumpled into a pout. Who can blame her?! She was a wedding planner!

The two came inside and Luke sighed loudly, zipping open his jacket and ripping his scarf off.

'I hate winter,' he muttered.

Julie looked up, fond, and brushed snowflakes from his shoulder. 'You hate sleeves.'

He hummed. 'M'yeah. But I also hate winter.'

Louisa stood up, raising her brows expectantly. 

'Hi!', Julie greeted from across the floor, rushing to shake her hand. Her cheeks were pink from the cold. Luke was behind her gawking at all the displays of wedding decorations. 'Nice to finally meet you!'

Up close, Julie Molina was even prettier than in her pictures. Luke was more handsome too. That didn't really matter, but Louisa noted that they might be her most... visually pleasing couple yet. Her design brain couldn’t stop the thought. She kind of began to understand the adoration of the fans.

'Hello,' Louisa smiled warmly. 'Sit down.'

Luke's knee bounced as he did, excited. His thumb tapped against the table. 'Before we start I just gotta say how fucking fun it is to be engaged. Okay. I said it. Let's start.'

She laughed. 'You're not the first.'

He leaned forward as if to tell her a secret. 'I've just been calling her my wife though. Makes things easier.'

Julie rolled her eyes. 'Luke, let her breathe.'

'It's fine,' she dismissed. She was kind of touched by his blatant display of love towards his fiancée. A lot of men she was worked with had this weird act where they pretended they didn't like their own girlfriends for... manly status, she supposed? It was a breath of fresh air having Luke say it like it was. Would make her job easier too. 

She turned her binder around and slid it towards them. The couple looked at it with intrigue. 'I made this appointment as a check-up point. I've gathered all the info from our emails into concise plans and I wanted to go over it with you.'

' _ Ooh, _ ' Julie mused, excited. 'That's so cool! I feel like I'm on Queer Eye or something.'

Luke grabbed her shoulder. 'Can we get Antoni to cook for our day? Please?' 

Wide-eyed, Julie brought her gaze to Louisa. 'Do you know Antoni?' 

Louisa froze. This wasn’t the direction she thought the meeting would start in. 'Uh. No. Unfortunately.'

Sheepish, Julie fumbled a smile and opened the binder, Luke practically hanging over her. She thought it was adorable. They were both very young yet very devoted to making it a nice wedding. Mutual devotion was something that usually lacked. (God, the stories she could tell…) Their gasps brought her back to the meeting. 

'These are the venues from Pinterest!' 

'It's an actual barn in upstate New York,’ she explained. ‘We have a similar option if you want an LA wedding. It's the picture on the next page. It's a little more sleek, but has the same vibe.'

'It looks big,' Luke remarked. 

Louisa nodded. 'The barn in New York can easily keep up to 500 guests.'

His confusion didn’t waver. 'It'll be a small wedding though.’

Louisa smiled. 'Yes. Up to 500.'

Julie looked up. 'Oh. No, we mean small. Like, a hundred.'

'If we try hard enough,' Luke snorted. The girl nudged him with a grin. 

Louisa was stumped for a beat. When people of their status said small, they mean 500 or a little less than that. High profile people like Luke and Julie usually  _ bathed  _ in acquaintances. Didn't they have many friends and family and celebrities to invite? Didn't they want the glamorous shots in luxurious settings? It didn’t really make sense with what she researched about them. 

But then she saw it. Luke's thrifted Patagonia coat, Julie's brandless gloves on her lap, their scuffed boots. The simple silver rings on their fingers. Perhaps an anomaly among the heaps of celebrities, Julie and Luke were either very humble or stingy. Either way, she hadn't been entirely right guestimating who they were exactly. 

(Ack! Had she read their email thread entirely wrong?! She was embarrassed.) 

Flitting to the next page, Louisa trucked on. 'No problem! If you want something more intimate, we can always opt for a nice botanical garden. That's quite unique.'

Relieved, the woman noticed that she finally found her footing again, with Julie's eyes brightening delightfully at the idea. She leaned in. 'We can do that? Wait, what do you think babe?' 

Luke smiled, gazing at her. 'It sounds nice. Victoria will have to take her allergy pills though.'

'She'll survive,' she tsked. Louisa tried to keep up. It was almost like they talked a different language even though it was clearly English. 'So we can have the ceremony in a botanical garden,' Julie turned back to Louisa. 'And then maybe after have a party at a bar?'

' _ Ooh, _ Jules.’ He gaped at her as if he cracked a morse code. ‘We  _ have  _ to do it in LA. We can do it at Tony's! They'll give us a discount too!' 

Julie let out a shriek of excitement and Louisa realised she was very much on the wayside (but also correct: they were a little bit stingy). 'Yes! That sounds amazing! That's possible, right Louisa?!' 

'Tony's?', she mustered. 

'The bar we used to play at on weekends.’ Luke’s smile was one he must gave interviewers, charming yet a bit arrogant. ‘They love us there.'

'I can get Eric to clean finally that floor,' Julie sniped. 'He definitely owes me for something.'

Luke nodded gravely. 'He does.'

Eric, Tony's, a greasy floor. What the hell was going on? 

'If we, uh, if we can circle back to the botanical garden for a moment,' she bounced back, claiming their attention again. 'Then we can really lean into the more fairy tale theme instead of the rustic theme.'

'Like butterfly shaped napkins?', Julie asked. 

'... Yes. Like butterfly shaped napkins.'

And if she thought only Julie was going rogue, she was sorely mistaken. Luke’s mischievous expression intensified. 'What if, instead of that normal wedding jingle-' 

'Jingle?' 

'-we get like, a musician to come play a Beatles song?' 

Alright. She was completely lost. Julie emailed her about barns and gauzy lanterns and a lavender dress for her maid of honour. She told about what an utter romantic her fiancé was. She told about the more bohemian and unique wedding dresses she was eyeing. She didn't tell her about their how eclectic they were. Or chaotic. Butterfly napkins and her dad giving her away during “Hey Jude” was  _ not  _ on the moodboard. She was keenly reminded they were barely twenty-five. 

Julie made a face. 'I'm not so sure about that. Tía will skin you alive too.'

'That-’ Luke paused, pursing his lips. ‘Yeah, that’s fair.’

'Is there  _ anything  _ still appealing to the binder?', Louisa sputtered, losing a little bit of composure. 

The couple blinked at her, as if realising they weren't bickering in front of a stranger, but their own wedding planner. Mustn’t that be tiring for their relatives? 

Julie grabbed the book again and tentatively asked: 'Are the wedding dress shops in here?'

Luke slapped a hand over his eyes. 'I can't see!' 

'The  _ shops, _ you dork. Not the dress.'

'Yes,' Louisa cut in. 'I've gotten in contact with a few young designers who would gladly create something to your liking. Not so wildly expensive too as opposed to a dress from Kleinfeld. A completely unique dress!'

Excited, Julie fluttered to the dress tab and scoured the names of the designers and their small portfolio. Luke placed his chin on her shoulder as he watched. 

'I like that one,' he muttered. 

She smiled. 'Me too.' He kissed her cheek. 'You maybe spoiled it for yourself now,' she added, teasing. Luke shrugged a little dopey at that. 

Louisa decided to start steaming through the topics. 'For food, I have a caterer who could do the fusion you asked for.'

Julie stared at her in disbelief. 'Puerto Rican dishes but make it street food?' 

'Why so surprised?'

'We sort of wrote it as a joke because we thought it was impossible,' Luke quipped. 'And the cook is in LA?' 

‘He has multiple locations,' she replied, pleased with herself for having strong alliances. 

'Rad!'

'Then we would love to get a tasting done,' Julie exclaimed.

Louisa, glad something was  _ finally  _ going right, opened her agenda with all the addresses of her connections. 'He's available in NYC in two weeks. January 27th. Sounds good?'

That cheek kiss seemed to have melted something, as Julie was practically draped over him. They somehow didn’t make it look childish. 'Do you have anything going on?'

Starry-eyed, he said: 'Nope.'

'Put us in there,' Julie concluded.

It has been a while since she saw a couple this lovesick. Both equally ardent, but while Julie helped Luke mellow down his intensity, he propelled her to be more passionate. It was rare to see. Louisa has been in the business for twenty years now and seeing them, so achingly in love, reminded her why. They were the romcoms she used to watch come alive, which inspired her as a kid to get into the field in the first place. Maybe they were this way because they were artists, but she hoped they'd keep that spark between them alive. (Gah. The embarrassment of checking in on couples she’d planned previously on Facebook and realising they've since divorced. Was it the flower arrangement? The DJ?)

'Final things. Music?' 

Luke waved it off. 'Already got taken care of. Alex is gonna make a killer playlist.'

Browsing through her mind, she plucked the name out of thin air. 'Your best man.'

'One of my best men, yeah.'

'Right.' Another peculiar thing. 'You'll have two best men.'

Luke made a face. 'If we put Reggie on the task, he’s gonna fill it with country. You do  _ not  _ wanna know what the guy is listening to. He-!’

'Point is,' Julie butted in. 'We don't need a DJ. We'll be performing a small set and then it's Alex's playlist.'

'Oh?' Louisa was surprised. 'You'll be playing at your own wedding?' 

'Of course!’ The girl bounced in her seat. ‘I've always wanted to rock out in a wedding dress!' 

Luke blanked. 'That's really hot.'

She grinned. 'Yeah?' 

'You're already hot so that's like-' He placed his hand flat in the air as if he was measuring a scale. 'An added bonus. May or may not has been a fantasy of mine too.'

Julie laughed. 'To rock out in a wedding dress?' 

He rolled his eyes with a chuckle. 'Sure, Jules. Let's go with that.'

They smiled at each other in that private way as if they couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation, a discussion about who’d look the hottest in a gown. Louisa must admit that she found it oddly adorable. 

'But, uh,’ Julie ripped her gaze from Luke and fell back on Louisa, ‘that means we won't have to rent out equipment since we already have our own stuff at my father's house.’

The planner hummed, going over the numbers in her head. Of all the weddings she has organised, of all the high profile couples she has witnessed, they might’ve been the easiest (if the strangest) so far. 'This wedding… will be cheaper than I thought. Ceremony in the botanic, food served there too, party at that bar.’ A smile quirked on her lips. ‘I think the hardest thing you’ll have to do is pick plates and cakes.'

Luke raised his hand. 'I'm lactose intolerant.'

'I know.' There was something about Luke - his lack of macho, the way he didn’t take himself too seriously - that made her think of her own son. While he hadn’t found someone yet, Luke seemed to live on his own wavelength that Julie has easily tapped into. 'Julie told me. She also told me you like to pretend not to be. All the bakers in the binder have lactose free options though.'

Julie poked her finger into his sweater, peering. 'Peanut butter chocolate pecan?' 

He got in her face with a challenging energy. 'Nu-uh! Strawberry vanilla!' Their staring match lasted all of ten seconds before Julie blinked, Luke laughing victoriously, and the girl giving Louisa an exasperated stare. 

She placed her hand on the laminated paper. 'We'll hold our big debate outside.'

Luke winked. 'It's gonna be really exciting. Julie has bullet points.'

Scoffing, she retorted: 'As if you literally don't have a PowerPoint prepared about how underrated vanilla is.'

'Because it is!', he whined. 

As amusing and adorable as this was, Louisa was starting to get a headache. These two were a lot. Normally one of the two - usually the girl - took the wheel and kind of steered it into whatever direction she pleased. Luke and Julie had equal power in the arrangement and it was  _ messy _ . She wished Julie had given her a heads-up what kind of storm they were. 

The woman turned back to her agenda, flipping around. 'I can get one of the bakers to bring cake samples to your home so you can taste in private. We know it's intimidating when they’re waiting for a reaction.’

'That would be great,' Julie said, grateful. 'Thank you.'

‘Then…’ Louisa went over her notes. While it hasn't gone as expected and she definitely needed an aspirin after they left, she supposed their first meeting was a blazing success. The couple didn’t seem to care much about insignificant details. 'We'll hold a second meeting in a few weeks about invitations and then update each other on what we’ve now discussed. Sounds good? I’ll stay in contact.'

'Awesome.' Luke looked genuinely happy, his expression from the binder to Julie to Louisa adoring and full. Julie stood up and shook her hand again.

'Thank you so much for helping us,' the girl breathed. 'We know we can... be a lot sometimes.'

She waved it off. At least Julie knew. 'I rather have excitement than underlying resentment.'

Julie stumped, unsure what to say to that blatant truth. 'Oh,' she commented lightly. 'Okay, then. Uh-'

'Let's go, babe,' Luke said, saving her from fumbling and zipping his coat shut. A smirk bloomed on his face. 'I wanna hear those bullet points.'

They bid Louisa goodbye, stuffed the binder in Luke's backpack and walked out hand in hand. Fondly, she watched them go. Sure, they were all over the place, but she remembered being young. They were genuinely in love! That wasn’t a common occurrence these days. She'd rather sit in on a staring match between a guy who couldn't keep the smile off his face when he looked at his fiancée, then a macho-dude rolling his eyes as he said: "Women, am I right?"

Through the frosted glass, Louisa saw Julie pull him down by his scarf for a kiss, one he eagerly returned. They said something - maybe a joke, a quip, a tease - and laughed. The girl disappeared between the puffy arms of his coat. He kept her under his arm, hers around his waist, and they stalked off into the wintery streets of New York. 

Louisa looked down at her agenda with a smile.

Yeah. They'd be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can see, i'm constantly flipping back and forth between julie and luke living in nyc or la. i can't pick!! maybe both?? i just imagine la becoming too much and they wanna live more lowkey in nyc.


	14. senior year of college + more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important conversations have to made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your girl is back with angst because I'm literally unable to not do it. I tried to keep it off. I can't. It's my bread and butter.
> 
> as usual: edited | tumblr @lydias--stiles

> **JULIE**

Julie was freaking out. For reasons that must be quite laughable for outsiders. 

There she was, in the middle of her lecture on History of East-Asian Music for her senior year, when a thought bulldozered past her and left her in shambles. Julie was usually the more collected one of the couple. Occasionally, she completely lost her shit. 

At twenty-two years old, Julie Molina realised that Luke Patterson was like, _it._ He was “it” for her. She knew she was in love with him and that he very much loved her back or else they wouldn’t be sharing an apartment, but somehow the thought of _after_ has slipped her mind. After college. After they left adolescence and immaturity behind. After frat parties and Tony’s and Red Bulls at three in the morning while studying as he was shielding his eyes from the light. What came after?

Just when they thought they were amazing at communicating, the conversation of marriage and moving and _babies…_ just never came up. Fucking incredible.

So when Julie belatedly realised, “Oh yeah. Luke is indeed the person I’ve been with since forever and want to stay with forever,” the fright of the unknown arrived instantly after. Well, that wasn’t true either. Not _fright._ She knew Luke wouldn’t pull a complete 180 on her and walk away at the first sign of a difficult conversation. They weren’t sixteen and unsure about where they stood with one another. But these were things she had to know and it needed to happen now. Because Julie did want to get married and she did want to have kids one day. With Luke, preferably. Not soon, but still. He had to know her thoughts and she had to know his and she could not _believe_ they almost let graduation pass them by without talking about it. She was literally in the home stretch. God, they were so stupid. 

(It was during moments like these that Julie wanted to laugh at all the times she prided herself on being an adult. She was twenty-two and foolishly young and it was about high time she accepted that. Maybe that wasn’t so bad either. Didn’t a goofy Halloween night brought her to him?)

Unfortunately, she couldn’t devise a speech beforehand as he was home too by the time she got back. It was a small studio closeby UCLA. Definitely not as airy as the apartment they had with Alex and Reg, but they both agreed it was just for one year and that they’d look for something nicer and bigger once she graduated. Which was in three months. (Stupid, stupid, stupid.) 

Again, they talked about it, but they never really _talked_ about it. Everything was always just so nice and fun and easy, that they sometimes forget a lot of things weren’t. It was in moments like these Julie wished they were both overdramatic and privy to fighting, not two lovesick idiots just going with the flow and stumbling into conversations - like now. 

‘Hey,’ he smiled, looking up from his songbook that was scribbled black with lyrics. They were performing a set at some random bar later tonight, though she was pretty excited to finally start working on the new songs with a slightly more mature sound. “Bright” was fun, but Luke and Julie’s music sessions have been creating true gems as of late. “Lightning in a bottle,” Luke liked to call it. 

She hoped her smile wasn’t nervous. ‘Hi.’

Nope. He caught it instantly. He saw it at sixteen and he saw it at twenty-one. If she wasn’t stressed she’d find it sweet. ‘What?’

Meandering in their small living space for a second, she plopped down on the thrifted couch and patted the seat next to her. Luke frowned and followed. 

His hand instantly went to her knee, thumb stroking across the denim. ‘Everything okay? Did something happen?’

‘No!’ She held her hands out, alarmed. He shouldn’t go to a worst case scenario just yet. ‘I’ve been… thinking about something.’

‘Oh,’ he breathed, a smile pulling on his lips and sagging into the couch. ‘About the set tonight?’

‘Uh… no.’ Just spit it out, Molina! Have some faith after six years! ‘About marriage.’ It came out blunt. He caught her eye. ‘And kids… everything we _haven’t_ talked about.’

His frown deepened, completely lost and trying to grasp her meandering tone. ‘You want… to get married and have kids? Right now?’

A jittery laugh puffed from her mouth. ‘No! Oh my God, no, not at all! Don’t worry about that.’ He let out a relieved sigh. _Too_ relieved. Her hands stilled. Why was he so mortified at the idea? They weren’t on crossroads, were they? 

‘Um…’ She rolled her lips, formulating her sentences as best as she could. ‘ _After_ I graduate. We’ve talked about the future of the band, but we haven’t talked about us. And I know _all that_ isn’t for the near future, but…’ She was losing steam. His anxious look got to her. ‘We need to know where the other stands… right?’

The slow smile building on his lips began to wash her insecurities away, Julie sighing as his gentle gaze told her this conversation wouldn’t end in angry tears. Warmth replaced the twitching cold in her fingers. He opened his arms and she happily curled into it. Talking always felt easier when they held each other, like they could speak more freely and lacking the preconceived ideas of what their relationships should look like. What they had was unconventional and went against all statistics. They just _talked_ and everything else melted away like honey. 

His hand went under her sweater, lazily circling her waist. ‘Where do you stand?’, he muttered. 

His words struck her. Though it only hit her this afternoon, Julie has known for a while. It almost made her laugh how rhetorical the question was. The simple answer would be to say that she loved him and that nothing could ever change that, but that wasn’t true. This wasn’t an easy question. If they didn’t align, then… then what? Julie realised that for a scary, monumental discussion like this, she had to look him in the eye. Letting her beliefs wander into _maybe’s_ and _whatever’s_ wasn’t good enough anymore. 

She sat up straight and looked into his eyes. He poorly hid his surprise when she did, but the earnest expression stuck. Julie smiled. 

‘I… want to marry you. Someday.’ She didn’t wait to see his reaction, her stare shooting between both eyes. (She didn’t know why she did that. It was something that started at the end of high school where it felt like she got _more_ of him if she looked into both a little longer. It made zero sense. He seemed to like it though, often times cradling her chin and peering into her own as if saying “have you gotten a close enough look?”) ‘What about you?’

He did it now too, fingers brushing against her chin as he let his gaze sink into hers. Fragments of poems about the colour hazel and intent looks and intimate smiles shot through her mind, but it had to wait. He pecked her lips and it somehow felt like a promise.

‘Yeah. I wanna marry you too.’ He tilted his head, amused. ‘Someday.’

‘Yeah?’, she whispered, not wanting to breathe and have another sound disturb this moment, or kiss him until _he_ couldn’t breathe. 

‘If you asked me a couple of years ago, I would’ve probably said no, but-’ Something shifted in the way he looked and it made her want to hide. They’ve experienced every level of intimacy together, yet this felt different. It was everything all at once. ‘Remember, uh, when we watched that movie with the guys?’

A frown pulled on her brows. They watched a lot of movies together. ‘Hint?’

It was a game they liked to play, amongst others. Luke and her started and dropped games on a whim, like “top three” or “what are the odds” or something as silly as “giving a hint”. Now that she sat here, she realised how much they did that was just theirs. How much they’ve created out of nothing and only they knew about it. Julie would cry if she wasn’t waiting on a hint. 

‘With the buff guy. And the girl that’s always blonde but was brunette for this movie.’

‘Oh,’ she grinned. ‘“The Vow”.’

He nodded, though not as confident as her. ‘We were watching it and, you know, that entire movie is just…’ Luke trailed off, words struggling. Julie leaned into his side again and kissed his cheek. She didn’t know what he wanted to say or what he needed to continue, but this felt like a good place to start. He sighed. ‘Okay. Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams are saying their vows in the museum and I’m fine, but then I see you crying and I just, I guess I realised that I wanted that for us too. I didn’t think I wanted it, because-’ He hesitated. Julie nodded. He didn’t need to explain.

Julie was speechless. He remembered such a small moment from _over_ a year ago which she hardly gave any significance. For her, it had just been another sappy romcom that made her cry, but he went through an entire epiphany. From believing marriage was meaningless to wanting to experience and share that part of life with _her._ Maybe all her nerves belonged with the rest of the honey too. 

A tentative smile came back on his lips. ‘Maybe not in a museum though,’ he whispered, a glint in his eye. 

‘No,’ she laughed, the sound choked from unbridled fondness. He grinned, timid, letting his knuckles brush against her cheekbone and he was giving her _that look_ again...  
She tried to speak but air caught in her throat. The trembling giggle made him grab her hands. ‘You’re going to make me cry again,’ she whispered.

‘Sorry,’ he whispered back, though clearly unapologetic. Sorry I made you fall for me. Sorry that I want to share the rest of my life with you. Sorry for loving you but I’m really not sorry at all. An exasperated apology, as if the person was led by their soul and not by their head (which very well could be the case for them) when they met their other. 

‘No, you’re not.’

His smile widened. ‘No. I’m not.’

Her head dropped to his chest and heard the slow beat of his heart. How his own nerves died down to that regular rhythm designed for her. Julie cherished the moment his fingers found her waist again.

(The way he touched her, every caress and linger and scratch, was like moulding her body to fit into his, strong yet careful enough that he still felt she was of flesh and blood. How his fingers dipped and squeezed and went along the lines of her silhouette. She was in love, in love, in love.) 

She had to ask the other now before she was lost in the moment and the bliss of being loved by him.

‘What about the other thing?’ Her chin raised to meet him. ‘The, uh, baby thing?’

He pulled her into his lap, straddling his waist. It was once again equally enthralling as nerve wrecking to have direct eye contact with each other as they spoke about these life changing topics. They couldn’t hide behind a joke or tease. He brought them here though. It reminded her that they were able to figure this out. And as long as he kept smiling, she wouldn’t be ripped away by the tides of life. 

His eyes sparked. ‘You know I already call you that.’

‘During sex,’ she deadpanned. ‘Doesn’t count.’

He made a show of scrunching his nose and tapping his chin. ‘Hm… I think it does.’

‘Luke.’ She knew he was trying to make light of the heavy energy, but she really needed him to be serious right now. ‘If you don’t know yet, that’s fine. I just… is it a “likely” or a “very doubtful”?’

His hands fell back on her thighs, sheepish. Yeah. They were indeed twenty-one and twenty-two. They were awkward and half-adults and so deeply in love. Sometimes it felt like she was doing everything backwards.

Intertwining their fingers, he muttered: ‘It’s a likely, Jules. I think. But right now even the thought of it terrifies the shit out of me.’

‘I know,’ she breathed. Though he said “likely”, it didn’t relieve her of any of her worries. Her ultimatum had been shit to start with. ‘It scares me too. But that’s why I say someday. I want to have kids _someday_ and I want them with you and… I need you to want it just as much.’

‘But not right now?’, he pressed. 

Why was he acting so intense about the present? ‘No,’ she frowned. ‘Not right now. Luke?’

His head dropped on the couch, face contorted into spiralling hurt. Dread rose in her chest as she realised what this was about. It was something that started before her and would always linger in the crevices of his mind. She hated it. Staring at the ceiling, he uttered: ‘I don’t wanna be like my parents, Jules. I don’t wanna… intentionally or unintentionally fuck them up-’

‘You’re not fucked up.’

‘But I’m not completely fine either. And you know that. And I don’t know if I would forgive myself if we had kids and twenty years down the line they don’t wanna talk to me anymore.’ His last words came out hoarse, tears prickling his eyes and jaw clenched to keep composure. Gutted, Julie let go of his hands and circled her arms around his torso, hugging him tight. 

Luke was okay. Mostly. But every once in a while his parents rushed to the forefront (during a quiet moment on his birthday, during Christmas, when Ray picked them up from an airport or train station, when a certain song on the radio came on) and it wrecked him all the same. All a harsh reminder that he hasn’t spoken to them since high school graduation. That they cut him off, despite allowing him to go to LF Arts (to “get it out of his system”), and that he’s been working and hustling hard since then. Julie’s heart broke for him each time. It made her so angry that, even if she helped him heal and move on and maybe even get therapy, it would never fully be okay. His parents still didn’t want anything to do with him.

Luke cried in her arms. It wasn’t heavy. Rather tired and resigned, a routine he went through every couple of months. There was no anger left. She felt angry for him. 

‘I love you,’ Julie whispered in his ear. 

She heard him sigh. Not tired, resigned or angry, but relieved. That despite everything, she was still here. And she’d always stay here. (And he knew that. Maybe that was what did it. Maybe, years down the line, they’d look back on this moment and remember the way he grieved in her arms for the umpteenth time and she loved him regardless. That he loved her, that it meant he was more okay than not, and that there was still more to give.) 

He pulled back a little, her hands cradling his face. His eyes were red and hers probably were too. Julie swallowed back the urge to kiss in him and never let go, and then carefully let another string of words tumble from her lips. 

‘I’m not going to force you to change your perspective, but I want you to know that you’d make an amazing father. You’re not your parents. You already care so much and the baby isn’t even real.’

His appreciative smile, warmer than the sun and infinitely devoted, made her kiss him anyway. She felt him grin against her, his lips stretching and a hum coming from his throat. Her cheeks were wet from the tears that stained his, but she didn’t care. Luke was hers to love and he had to know how amazing he was. 

‘Thank you,’ he muttered, lips brushing hers, ‘I don’t think you realise how fucking incredible you are.’

From the way they were sitting and how well this conversation actually went, she had an inkling. (They would talk about it again, but it was enough for now.) Her hands fell from his neck to his shoulders. 

She shifted closer and tilted her head, playful. ‘Hint?’

Luke smirked, all previous turmoil gone and turning their bodies with swift agility. Julie giggled as he hovered over her and made a pensive face. ‘Well, you’re really good at a lot of things.’

She grabbed onto the hem of his shirt. ‘Yeah?’

‘Wanna show me?’ He dipped between her knees. 

‘Are you?’

‘You even have to ask?’

(His breathtaking smile when she told him he’d make a great father burned in her mind, even after they left the couch and prepared for their set at the bar. That smile that had been seeking for confirmation from somewhere, scared no one would but then it was _her_ that did it. The look on his face when she said it, the same way if shifted into something of quiet passion when he recounted his marriage epiphany.

One day, he’d propose to her. And on an even later date, she’d cradle his cheeks and he’d kiss her palms and he’d nod and-) 

‘You’re not gonna steal my seed, are you?’

‘Oh my God, _Luke!’_ , she shrieked, almost dumping him from the couch if he wasn’t literally in the middle of something. 

(But for now, they were allowed to be two immature, horny, half-adults that seemed to get off on emotional moments. And that was enough.) 

> **LUKE, THOUGH NOT TWENTY-ONE**

Flynn rushing in unannounced on a random Tuesday confirmed the suspicions that have been swirling in his mind for a full week now. Something was terribly wrong with Julie and she, for some reason, wasn’t telling him. 

Safe to say he was close to losing his mind.

The biggest one being that what if she was sick. Like, genuinely, seriously sick. Not a fever or a cold or the flu, but something to be hospitalised for. It made him nauseous to think that Rose’s disease was somehow genetic and got passed on. Julie was barely thirty. Fuck, he couldn’t think about that. Luke gulped back tears and bile and clenched his hands as he saw Flynn wordlessly pass him and disappear into the bathroom Julie had been in for an hour. 

He couldn’t think about that. He would actually fucking lose it.

Luke began pacing across the apartment, fingers nervously twisting the ring on his finger as his heart palpitated. Each time he thought he had his nerves under control, his eyes flitted to the closed bathroom door and he wanted ot hit the wall. Fuck! Why didn’t she tell him what was going on! She told him everything! Just a few weeks ago she flat out told him how she didn’t find him attractive when he sat cross-legged on the bed naked. How her navel wasn’t ticklish but was when he touched it. 

But then she started vomiting seven days ago and looked and felt unpleasant for hours on end, face on the cool tiles of the bathroom and having no appetite. She hasn’t lost weight and he made her eat at least a little (mostly soup and smoothies), but he got increasingly worried as the days went on. She assured him they didn’t need to go to the doctor and that she just had a bad week, but… 

Gah! She was fine just last week! What changed?! 

They had day long band sessions in the studio, a seventh album on the way, and were getting ready for the Europe and Australia tour. Did it overexert her? They've been pushing themselves hard for two weeks straight, maybe it was getting to her. But Julie was so vivacious. Constant stream of energy and great stamina from the gym. Nothing about their routine has changed. 

Was it something _he_ did? The thought made him freeze in his tracks. Holy fuck. Was it?! Did he say or do something to upset her so much that something happened and now didn’t want to tell him? Was he afraid of her? Did their relationship really decide to sink _now?_ After fourteen years? 

Just as he was ready to combust and kick the door open, Flynn reappeared. 

‘She wants to see you.’ Her eyes did a once over, unimpressed. ‘Maybe calm down first.’

Luke let out a shuddering exhale. ‘Thanks, Flynn.’

He wanted to ask her if she was fine, what she was dealing with, why she didn’t tell him, come to him, but he knew he’d find out for himself in just a minute. Flynn smiled at him conspiratorially as she went for the front door. 

‘She’s not _dying,_ Luke.'

The man groaned. ‘Dude!’

Laughing, she shut the door behind her and the couple was once more encased in silence. He heard the tap of her hands against porcelain. Unable to actually calm down and feign nonchalance, he flung the door open and rushed inside.

‘What’s wrong, Jules?’, he breathed. There she sat, on the floor with her back against the wall, legs crossed. Her gaze went from a point in the distance to him, smiling. It was faint though, like she was unsure whether to do it or not. He dropped down next to her. 

Before he could ask again, she kissed his cheek. ‘Nothing,’ she murmured. ‘I mean, nothing bad. I promise.’

Desperation laced each fibre of his being, gripping her hands tightly. ‘Julie, I’ve been losing my shit for a week. _Please_ tell me what’s going on.’

Julie regarded him for a moment with an emotion he hasn’t quite seen before. He has, in the past, but they’ve been through so much he couldn’t pinpoint it. Left eye, right eye. Repeat. 

‘I’m pregnant.’

The whisper was barely audible, one he wouldn’t have heard if he hadn’t been hanging onto her lips in anticipation. His shoulders dropped. Pregnant? (They haven’t been actively trying, but they’ve _also_ pointedly stopped using contraception. Oh, man. He was dumb.)

Untangling one of her hands, she plucked something from beneath her crossed legs and showed it. A test. Two lines in blue.

‘Two lines is positive?’

‘Yeah.’ A smile twitched on her lips. ‘Tell me what you’re thinking. Please.’

What was he thinking? Luke was ready to faint from relief. He had all the worst case scenarios drummed inside his head for days and days on end and she was just _pregnant._

‘Julie, I thought I was going to lose you!’, he exclaimed. He didn’t mean to raise his voice and appear mad, but really?! That was what she was hiding?! He could cry and kiss her all the same. ‘But you’re just…’

Julie reached to softly kiss his lips, her tentative smile now a full grin and tears building in her eyes. Overwhelmed yet amused, like she couldn’t believe her declaration didn’t faze him. Crawling to sit on his lap, she whispered. ‘You’re not… scared?’

He puffed, anxious elation leaving him. ‘Babe, I think this week was enough fear to last me a lifetime.’

She giggled and kissed him again, him responding this time. Luke grinned, fingers brushing her neck and squeezing her waist and when her stomach touched his, that was when it truly dawned on him.

‘Holy shit,’ he whispered, awed. ‘You’re pregnant.’

Now the tears flowed freely down her cheeks, nodding fervently as her hands clutched his shoulders. ‘Yeah,’ she sniffled. He revelled in the fond caress of her knuckles across his cheek. ‘And I didn’t tell you cause I wanted to know for sure.’

‘I get it,’ he rushed out, choked laughter lilting his breath. ‘It’s okay, you don’t have to apologise, it’s…’ He trailed off, eyes falling on her abdomen. Starstruck, he softly brushed against the fabric of her sweater. If someone told eighteen year old Luke he’d be on a bathroom floor in awe by the shrimp growing in Julie’s uterus, he’d roll his eyes. That it was unimaginable, unfathomable he would want kids. But here they were. It took Julie fourteen years to instil the trust in him that he wouldn’t follow his parent’s footsteps and a lot of loving, but here they were. He wouldn’t want to change a thing. 

‘I love you,’ he whispered. Her smile was brighter than any he has seen before. It burst in his chest the same way it did when he first kissed her on that warm Halloween night. Has his soul known since then? ‘And I love that little shit making you sick too.’

She laughed, head thrown back from his off-hand quip as bliss broke any lingering tension and left them with pure glee. Luke squeezed her sides in excitement, laughing with her. 

Throwing her arms around his neck and burrowing her face in his neck, she giggled in his ear. ‘I’m so happy you’re happy. That you’ve come this far.’

A lone tear fell down, him wiping it away but Julie definitely noticing. She nodded, reaffirming her words as in: _I’m so proud. I’m proud of us. We’ve come so far._ So he nodded too, cause it was true. They’ve come a long way since blushing under the bleachers. 

‘Me too.’ He knocked against her belly as if the shrimp would hear and open the door. ‘You feel anything yet?’

She gave him a flat look. ‘It’s been in there for like two weeks. Ask me again in eighteen weeks.’

He gaped at her. ‘I have to wait _eighteen_ weeks before it decides to move?’ Clicking his tongue, he sang mockingly: ‘Lazy.’

Though they were still on the hard floor of the bathroom, it was comfortable. His back pressed against the cool wall and her straddling him in an embrace. It oddly felt like the time they talked about marriage when he was twenty-one and petrified of snapping the perfect, little bubble they created. Of tilting the island and ruining everything. But here she was, and here he was, and the shrimp was there too, and the bubble didn’t snap - it just became bigger. He almost thought he was dreaming, ready to wake up and laugh away a hyper-realistic weeklong vision. But his back was cool and her touch was warm and he knew it was real. 

‘Can we move to the couch? I’ve been here for an hour.’

He chuckled. ‘Yeah. You don’t feel sick?’

‘A little,’ she shrugged. ‘Not as much as the previous days. You knowing makes it better though.’

With that in mind, he stood up and took her with him in one swift motion, all those hours at the gym paying off as he went from sitting to holding her locked in his embrace. She shrieked in surprise. 

‘Luke! I can walk!’

He kept going. ‘You didn’t let me touch you for a week! I have to catch up!’ 

She laughed in his ear, letting him do his thing and melting deeper into his hold. Luke sighed. It was as if all the antsy energy he’s had not being able to hold her sweated off with each step he took. Her hands on him, the heat of her body, has always been medicine. 

‘I love you,’ she mumbled, both of them dropping onto the big, grey couch. Then a playful smirk bloomed on her face, mimicking his motion of knocking on her stomach. Luke didn’t think he could love her more. ‘What do you want it to be? Maybe it’ll tell us.’

‘Preferably something human,’ he joked, ‘though a grand piano is pretty rad too.’

‘Seriously!’, she whined. ‘I wanna know!’

‘I don’t care!’

Her smile brightened. ‘I know you don’t. But play along.’

‘Hmm…’ His eyes wandered past her around the apartment, trying to imagine a little kid running around. He couldn’t quite picture it yet, but the thought left him giddy. ‘A girl,’ he said without thinking. ‘Boys suck.’

Julie snickered. He gave her a look. ‘You didn’t know the boys and I when we were kids. We were annoying as fuck.’

‘And you think I was a quiet kid?’, she sputtered. ‘I sang in class. During long division.’ 

‘Hell yeah,’ he cheered. ‘Our genes are gonna create the littlest asshole ever!’

They high fived, giddy and dopey and glowing. Well, he was glowing. She was still a little pale. A calloused thumb brushed against her cheekbone. She’d be alright. He knew morning sickness would fade. 

(It did. Two days later, she stopped vomiting and began sleeping and eating better. She still felt off, but they chalked it up to a literal embryo brewing down there.)

Julie kept his hand on her cheek, gazing at him in that way that always made him hide. She probably didn’t even know she was doing it. This time, he held it. He wanted to burn the sight in his mind and never forget it. 

‘A girl sounds nice,’ she said softly, as if saying it too loud would jinx it. ‘Finally another girl in the group.’

Luke simply shook his head. His emotions were on overdrive and the blurry images of him running after a waggling baby flashed behind his eyes and he wanted to stay in this moment forever. How they’d ever top this moment, this feeling in his chest, he didn’t know. Instead, he kissed her jaw and turned her around, body curled into his side as they sunk deeper into the couch. His fingers stroked her waist, her eyes drooping. Being sick tired anyone out. 

They both slept on the couch that night, mouths hanging open but sleeping the best they’ve had in a while. Right before he passed out, Luke figured he wouldn’t mind another, smaller weight to be pressed under his other arm. He wouldn’t mind it one bit. 

(The baby got born on Halloween. It was the most ridiculous thing ever and he would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been next to Julie’s hospital bed crying. He kind of did both. Sophia Patterson was the prettiest little thing he’s ever seen in his life. It was on the ghouliest night of the year, but that encapsulated their relationship perfectly, he found. It didn’t matter. Sophia was here and healthy and theirs and she had the coolest fucking birthday in the entire world. She had Luke’s eyes and smile and Julie’s skin and nose and small curls that could go either direction. Maybe both. She was perfect.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. I did not think I'd fall into next gen territory. Here we are. I faceclaim young Sophia as Kiele Conrad. She's on IG (monitored by her parents, no worries). Now I'm going to make myself a well-deserved pot of arrabbiata and maybe drink a margarita. Good night. ✌️


	15. married life - part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone looks at the sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to cry with me, please listen to "run away" by ben platt on loop. i wrote this while listening to it and i started crying and i never cry while writing. i always say i do but it's like?? mentally?? but now, i actually cried; so if you wanna have a good cry... listen to it.

> **SOPHIA**

Her first memory was music. 

She didn’t know how old she was or what she wore or where she was (she thought it was the car though), but she remembered hearing the hum of music. Her parents singing along under their breaths. She wished she could recall what song it was, but it sounded old. Like what grandpa listened to when she visited. 

It was the first of a continuous stream of music. Music to her felt like standing in a shallow, slow river and her feet getting tickled by the cold water and the slimy rocks and it made her happy and excited and wonderous. (They went to Sequoia National Park last summer and so far a highlight in the life of Sophia Patterson. Then again, she was seven. Not much to compare with yet.) 

Another very distinct memory was backstage at some festival with big headphones over her ears to protect them from how loud everything was. She was with uncle Carlos and watched from the side as her parents and uncle Alex and Reggie played for a roaring audience. Her eyes had sparkled for the entire hour. It was better than music on the radio or dad’s aimless strumming on the couch - this was _alive._ It was like the river from before, but then times a million. Sophia realised early on that it would take awhile before she could go from the shallow water into the deep end, but that that was okay. Watching her parents sing until there was nothing left to give was enough for now. 

(She did ask mom to teach her how to sing the next day. Mom had been so stunned, meanwhile dad lifted her in the air with a grin saying that “the gene lives on!” She didn’t know what that meant, but he was happy, so it must’ve been good.) 

Sophia was reminded of her first memory when mom’s melodious voice called her from her bedroom. 

‘Soph? Can you come?’

Spread on the coffee table were multiple photo albums, all older and not as sharp as she was used to. She crawled onto the couch and nestled herself next to mom. 

Gingerly, mom picked one and placed it on their laps. There was a picture of a young woman in a leather vest in a dark place, her arms around other girls as they all held glasses with beer. The beams on their faces were almost blinding.

Mom tapped on the glossy picture. ‘I wanted to show you my mom.’

Sophia frowned. ‘I don’t have a grandma.’ All the family members she knew have passed through the door. Grandpa Ray, uncle Carlos, auntie Flynn, uncles Reg and Alex and his husband Willie and tía Victoria. That was it. She liked it that way.

She swallowed thickly. ‘No. I guess you’re right. But she would’ve been.’ She turned the page, another picture of the woman with a familiar boy. ‘She met grandpa when she was twenty-three. She was singing at a concert with her own band and he was in love just like that.’ She snapped her fingers, making Sophia giggle. Her mom was a great storyteller. The best days were when mom and dad had time to read her a bedtime story. They’d crawl into her little bed with her and read adventurous tales with funny voices until she fell asleep. 

‘And then they had me and Carlos.’ She turned a couple of pages, a picture of a smiling woman, eyes hidden behind big sunglasses, as she carried a baby inside a house. Mom looked freakishly alike. 

‘Your grandma’s name is Rose. I want to tell you because-’ Her breath hitched, eyes rapidly blinking. Oh. She was crying. Worried, Sophia nestled deeper into mom’s side and threw her arms around her torso. It was what dad always did and Sophia knew a hug always made her feel better. 

It seemed to do the trick, as a small smile bloomed on her mom’s lips and hugged her back just as tight. Her eyes shone with sadness though. Sophia felt kind of helpless. 

‘Because it’s her birthday in a couple of days,’ she whispered, not quite composed. ‘And I won’t be happy that day and I wanted you to know that nothing’s wrong with me. Just a little sad.’

Her frown deepened. Why did she _have_ to be sad? That didn’t make sense. ‘Why? Is something wrong with Rose?’

A tear slipped from her cheek, the smile remained. ‘She’s dead, mija.’

Dead. She has seen a dead bird on the side of the street once. She knew it meant they weren’t here anymore, that they went to the graveyard or stood on a mantle in a pot, but she didn’t know what it meant if you knew the person. She could imagine it though. Sophia would be devastated if her mom died. Or her dad for that matter. Who would be there to hold her hand? To teach her how to sing?

‘She died when I was fourteen. Cancer. You know cancer, right?’

Sophia nodded. 

Another page turned, the bright woman now a little less bright, but still that cool grin on her lips. The bald head didn’t faze her, it seemed. Sophie found she looked tough. ‘She, uh,’ her breath shuddered, nose sniffling, ‘she died with her head held high. And we like to honour that.’ Mom brushed Sophia’s soft cheek. ‘You don’t have to call her grandma, but I do want you to know her. To know just how brave she was. Can you do that for me?’

Mom’s question made her feel a little less helpless and she nodded eagerly. Of course she could! 

‘Do you want me to shave my head too?’, Sophia joked. 

Mom laughed, more tears springing from her lips as she pulled Sophia onto her lap and hugged her closer. With her ear on her mom’s chest, hearing the dull thud, Sophia sunk in deeper because wow - it felt really nice to be needed by her parents. To know that mom would be okay again if they just held each other long enough. 

‘Can you tell me more stories?’, she whispered. ‘With voices like in “Matilda”?’

Mom pressed their foreheads together, Sophia peering into her eyes and noticing how it just became one big eye, or a blob. It was kind of funny. They grinned. 

Kissing the top of her hair, mom shook her head. ‘Maybe another time. But you can look in the photo albums more. Plenty of pictures of my mom rocking onstage.’ Her smile shifted into something more gentle, like the pain had subsided and she could brush her hands across the grainy pictures without trembling. She seemed lighter again.

Sophia often noticed that when her mom laughed, everyone watched to look. Like needing to go outside for the sun. Sophia paused. Her mom was like the sun. And sometimes, a cloud passed by. That was just how the sky worked. 

So in a couple of days, a cloud would come, but she knew that dad would put his arms around her torso like Sophia and make her feel better. 

Life was quite simple, she concluded. 

The front door opened, dad coming in looking at his phone while his other hand held a small bouquet of flowers. They were pretty. 

‘Hi dad,’ she cheered. 

He looked up with a grin. ‘Hey Soph!’ His eyes fell on mom and the smile melted to a smaller one. Not shy, but something beyond Sophia's comprehension. It was the way her teachers looked at her when she scraped her knee on the playground, but _more._

Mom walked up to him and kissed him. ‘They’re beautiful. She’ll love them.’

Pocketing his phone, he threw his arm around her waist. Sophia smiled satisfied. ‘Had to almost fight an old lady for them-’

‘Luke.’

‘But I charmed my way out of it.’ He threw his hand up and Sophia air high fived him. 

‘Good job, dad!’

Mom grinned, all previous turmoil gone with only her shining eyes lingering. They seemed happy though, the way they were fixed on dad. ‘Very heroic of you.’

His arm tightened, that smile from before returning. (Was it pity? Love? Was it sadness? Was it both?) ‘How are you?’, he murmured. 

She kissed him again. ‘Better.’ And then they let go and mom took the flowers from his grasp, walking to the kitchen. Dad caught her eye. 

‘Why are you on the couch?!’, he gasped, throwing his hands up with dramatic flair - like when they re-enacted those bedtime stories - and stormed up to her. Sophia squealed, stomach whooping as he threw her over his shoulder. ‘Couches are for suckers!’

She screeched and yelled and stomped her tiny fists against his t-shirt, cheeks red from laughing and hanging upside down. The heat of summer hit her face. Dropping her like a sack of potatoes, she fell onto the trampoline and screamed as dad threw himself in after her.

He pulled her to her feet with a chuckle. She tapped his stomach with a huff. ‘That was scary!’

‘You know what’s scary? _Sitting.’_ He shuddered like he was tasting asparagus. ‘We either kick down doors or-’

‘Reach as high as we can,’ Sophia finished. His surprise made her giggle. She paid attention! She listened! She was probably smarter than the both of them! ( _Duh._ Her dad thought sitting was scary. The only thing Sophia was scared of was the dark and the monster that sometimes hid under her bed. Mom had Monster Spray though, so it always quickly left.) 

He smiled. ‘To the moon.’

Her nod was stern. Where else? ‘To the moon.’

Jiggling his feet, he asked: ‘Wanna try?’

He didn’t have to ask twice, Sophia enthusiastically jumping and tumbling across the trampoline, always cheerfully delighted when dad launched her further into the sky. If she stretched her arms far enough, she was certain she would one day touch the clouds. Maybe she would even be able to ward them off from the sun. 

‘Dad?!’, she yelled.

He fell from his flip onto his knees, hair wild and and stuck in all directions. ‘Hm?’ 

Staggering towards him with a giggle, she tightly gripped onto his shoulders as he shook the ground. On purpose! Dad giggled with her, nearly making her topple over from his continuous quaking, when he grabbed onto her and kissed her nose. He stopped, Sophia sighing in relief. 

‘What?’

‘Can I tell you a secret?’, she whispered. 

His brows raised, eyes flitting from his left to his right as if they were spies in a movie. ‘Does Julie know?’

‘No.’

He grinned. ‘Awesome. What’s the secret?’

Their cheeks brushed as she whisper-yelled the secret into his ear. ‘I think… mom is secretly the sun and can’t tell us.’

‘Yeah?’ She didn’t notice the way his smile twitched into one of nostalgia, to times she wasn’t present for; how it morphed into something so intimate and true, as if she had just given him the meaning of life. Sophia was seven however and wouldn’t notice those small nuances for another few years. It was fine. The smile was there.

She went on unperturbed. ‘And I’m gonna learn how to keep the clouds away. So that she won’t be sad anymore.’

His smile broke the smooth planes of his skin, crinkles appearing around his eyes that have become more pronounced over the years. His eyes held a similar shininess as mom’s, moved by her words. Sophia was proud how she seemed to find the right things to say this morning. Or her parents were just real crybabies. Maybe both. He tucked one of her caramel curls behind her ear. 

‘You’re enough as is, Sophia. Trust me.’ But then his soft gaze turned into a whistle, making her squeak. ‘And damn, Sophia! You’re holding up to your name! Who allowed you to be this wise?'

‘I don’t know what that means.’

He shrugged it off. ‘Eh. Doesn’t matter.’

‘Can I join?’ Mom’s voice popped up, arms crossed on top of the trampoline with a smile that rivalled the sun. Sophia and dad shared a look.

He tsked. ‘I don’t know, Jules. Are you even cool enough to jump with us?’

Sophia gawked. ‘Dad!’

‘Yeah, Luke, get with it.’ Sophia ran up to mom and bumped fists. Mom sneered at him victoriously. ‘Everyone knows I’m the coolest one here.’

His jaw dropped. ‘My own daughter against me. And we’ve shared secrets!’

Mom jumped on, gently bouncing his way. ‘ _Ooh,_ secrets?’

Dad and Sophia stared at each other for a beat. Mom loved to dig information out of him and was good at it too, but he had to stay strong! This was _their_ secret! 

He made a zipper motion against his mouth and Sophia let out a breath of relief. While he was throwing away the key, mom slung her arms around his neck and began bouncing. He bounced with her and together they began snickering like toddlers. 

(Sophia loved her parents, obviously, but things like that left her baffled. Maybe it was Adult Things she’d understand when she was older. They looked giddy though, so jumping while hugging was maybe something all people in love did.)

One hand unlocked and mom reached out for her. ‘Come on, Soph!’

Her toothy grin propelled her towards her parents, nearly cannonballing into dad but catching onto mom’s hand just in time. In a chain of three, they kept bouncing and turning until the ground and the clouds and the sky and the sun melted into a dizzying blur and she fell on her back, giggling and gasping. Mom and dad fell on either side of her. 

So yeah. Sophia was only seven. In a few months she would be eight and then she’d go trick or treating with her friends while wearing her birthday present. She’d go into third grade too, which was kind of scary. But with her parents by her side (dad, that reached for the sky; mom, that reached for him with her sunlight; them, that held her right in the middle) and the music they hummed in her ears, she knew she’d be alright.

Sophia didn’t get sad when a cloud passed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a long break from this work now. see y'all in a few weeks <3


	16. senior year of high school - part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Molina family kind of has to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's nye and i'm alone in my apartment cause covid is still holding an international party and no one is invited. anyway- here's something. the break still stands, but i literally had nothing to do. also i'm drunk. hi.

> **RAY**

When Ray thought about who Julie's first, real boyfriend would be, he secretly had expected someone like Nick Dawson. A childhood friend, gone to each other’s birthday parties for years, kind, responsible. It would've been obvious and sure, a little cliché. But Ray found that everything in high school was a little cliché and it would’ve been endearing to see. He knew it would’ve been short but sweet, but then she would had a story to tell her grandchildren and laugh about her “wild high school years”. 

But then Julie got together with Luke on Halloween and everything changed after that. Because it wasn’t short or simple. Sweet, but also more than that. It was real - something Julie didn’t even expect. 

In a dreamy daze at the dinner table, rushing to her room and hearing her FaceTime for hours, spending all her time in the studio with him or the rest of the band. Despite that, she was brighter than ever. Happier. Whatever Julie and Luke have with each other, helped her gain _more_ of herself. Ray didn't quite understand it himself, but he was nonetheless proud of her for starting to find her footing at such a young age.

Luke was up in her room now for homework and every once in a while he heard a burst of laughter. It wasn't annoying at first (a little, he had _actual_ work to do), until he heard nothing at all and that annoyed him even more. From continuous laughter to dead quiet? No homework was ever completely quiet. Perhaps he shouldn’t let them study upstairs. Couldn’t let her grades slip because of a boy! Tinged with a hint of worry, he went upstairs and stopped at her door. Muffled sounds, nothing else. 

He opened the door. 'Mija, everything-? Ah!'

Yeah, Luke wasn't a golden boy like Ray presumed Nick was.

His t-shirt discarded on the floor, his hand under her top, their legs tangled up. Of all the things Ray wasn't prepared for when raising a teenage daughter alone, this was it. Ray hadn’t been ready seeing his daughter mid-hookup _while_ he was home. Intensely so. His exclaim startled Luke, the boy dropping to the floor. 

Julie squeaked. 'Dad!’ It spurred him into action and threw the door shut. 

'Sorry, Julie!' He cringed. A million things were running through his head. Was that the first time? It didn’t seem like it. Were they safe? Did they know everything they needed to know? Were they ready? Should he have actually done The Talk? Had Ray really been that fucking gullible?! Of course having a committed boyfriend would lead to… that! 

Ray cringed. He could not believe he just walked into that. 

Julie appeared only seconds later, still flushed and only making his embarrassment grow tenfold. For himself, obviously. ‘Why didn't you knock?!’

He wanted to touch her shoulder, but he wasn’t sure whether that even was okay anymore. His little girl suddenly wasn’t little at all. 'I got worried, mija, I wasn’t hearing anything and- I’m sorry.'

'There is nothing to worry about, dad,’ she sighed. ‘Luke's fine.’

Almost laughing, because that was _not_ his worry, he peered at her. ‘There is though. You're being safe, right?’ 

Julie’s exasperation turned mortified. ‘Dad, can we not-!’

‘Julie.’

While she couldn’t look him in the eye and he needed to have a Talk with himself about how stupid he was, they were at least making progress.

‘Yes,’ she mumbled, arms crossed. Her back fell against the door. ‘We both- we both made sure everything was safe. Tía helped me a lot.’

It was like a bomb dropped in his head. ‘Victoria knows?!’ 

Julie threw her hands up, going through all the emotions in barely a minute and now reaching frustration. ‘Sometimes I just need a- a _woman_ to help me with stuff, alright? Mom would’ve, but-’ She paused. She didn’t need to finish. He knew it too. ‘You do understand that, right?’ 

He finally looked at her and his heart sunk to his feet in a snap. Julie looked apprehensive, as if she wasn’t sure whether he’d be disappointed or not. It was the total opposite! She once again proved how mature she was! 

Guilt tinged his voice. ‘I do. Thank you for letting Victoria help you, mija.’

A smile pressed on her lips. ‘No problem…’ She looked at her door. ‘Uh…’ 

Ray took a step back, throwing up an awkward thumbs up as if to say _awesome job!_ , which was very much not what he was going for. ‘Yeah! Go back in! Uh! Maybe not-’

She held her hand out, cringing harder than he did. ‘Don't worry. _Not_ happening today.’

It became a bit more bearable after that. Emphasis on the “bit”. Julie was still his one and only daughter and it was weird seeing her so young yet so wrapped up in a boy. Knowing how _much,_ however, oddly took the worry away. He knew where they stood - somewhat. Now, whenever he encountered them, just seemed… natural. 

Like when they were all watching a movie together, him and Carlos and Julie and Luke (in that order), and he’d glance at the couple during a duller part and he’d see them staring at each other with a smile. Like they were having a silent conversation with grins and smiles and a nudge of the nose. 

Or when he picked them up from a party and dropped off Luke first and had to wait as they hugged for a long time - as if they wouldn’t see each other two days later at school. (Teenagers were dramatic like that.) Ray watched Luke’s expression crash as Julie let go, his eyes flitting to his home and then back to her hands. Though he didn’t know everything about Luke, Julie has let small details slip through. Like his less than ideal relationship with his parents. Ray never quite knew what to do in those moments. But Julie did. She reached up and kissed him and smiled her signature smile, but then _more._ How after, Luke nodded and went back inside, as if just her smile alone would sustain him for the weekend. It was such a deeply mature moment it took him off guard. Ray was proud his daughter cared so much - he just wished her virtue wouldn’t become a vice. (It didn’t. At least not when it came to Luke. That boy might even challenge her with how much he cared. It was like a game to them: “Who could love the most?” They had a lot of hidden games, Ray noticed.) 

And… sure. Every once and a while, he’d hear muffled laughter and fumbling happen upstairs and then he’d jump amp up the volume, because Julie deserved her privacy too. He talked with tía after the debacle to double check Julie’s words. If he thought Victoria would be the worried one, he was sorely mistaken. She keenly reminded him that everything she did or didn’t do with Luke, would teach her lessons in the end. (She said it under the presumption that relationships didn’t last after high school or college, but her statement remained true.) Julie did change a little over the year that she and Luke had been together. In a good way. Ray wasn’t sure if sex was the main contributor, but he also _couldn’t_ deny it. 

(So yeah. He amped the music. For his and Carlos’ good.) 

Maybe the biggest example in which he saw their relationship for what is was (which was a relationship built on so much love and trust it was almost unbelievable they were barely eighteen) was near the end of senior year. They were together for about a year and a half then. It was the day of the prom. Luke was in the living room with Carlos playing Smash Brothers on the Switch as Julie was getting her final things in order. Ray didn’t have to be a southern dad and give a talk about boundaries and curfew and how to treat his daughter, cause Luke knew all of that already. They never even had that conversation. Luke just fell into the role as boyfriend and never did anything to raise eyebrows. 

( _Except_ when he caught them. Ray would forever be scarred seeing a half-naked Luke hover over Julie with his hands under her shirt.) 

If it wasn’t for the navy suit he was wearing, he’d think it was a normal day. Luke was always here. With and without Julie’s knowledge, Carlos sometimes texting him to come play videogames or help him with history. It should’ve been odd seeing a friendship between two boys of completely different ages work, but both seemed pleased about it. Ray couldn’t fault that. 

(Five years later, he’d find out that Carlos smoked his first joint at fourteen because of Luke. He’d never seen a twenty-three year old man so frightened for his life.) 

Julie skipped down the stairs, fingers gingerly holding up her long skirt. Ray didn’t even have time to compliment her as she slung her arms around Luke’s shoulders from behind. ‘Ready to go?’

Luke sprung up, head twisting to catch sight of her. When he did, he froze, a smile slowly crawling on his face. Oh, shucks. Rose would’ve adored seeing this. 

Giddy, he jumped over the couch and grabbed her by the waist. ‘Who allowed you to be this gorgeous?’, he teased, though it really wasn’t a tease. Luke was _beaming._

She shrugged, coy, though her smile couldn’t be kept off either. ‘I could say the same about you.’

His face fell flat. ‘I’m gorgeous? Not handsome?’

‘Both?’

The smile returned. ‘I accept that.’ 

‘Can I hear the plan again?’, Ray interrupted, camera in hand. He couldn’t help but notice their surprise from being ripped from their conversation, like they’ve forgotten in seconds Carlos had to pause the game and Ray was standing in the threshold. That the world didn’t revolve around them. Luke kept her tucked in his side as she went over the points. 

‘We’re going to dinner now with the boys and Flynn, take some more pictures, then prom, then afterparty at Flynn and also sleeping over there.’ 

‘No booze?’

Amusement tilted her head. ‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, dad.’

He sighed. ‘On a scale of zero to “pumping stomach at the hospital”, let’s keep it at a four, hm?’

Luke held his thumb up, though his mischievous eyes and twitching smile meant everything but. ‘You got it, Ray.’

Deciding to let it go for his own sanity, he ushered them to the garden to take some pictures. In contrast to Luke’s navy suit, she was in a pink dress with gauzy layers of fabric and thin embroideries of floral. He was once again reminded that they weren’t kids anymore. Julie wasn’t shrieking in the hallway about having her first kiss with Luke and rushing into his arms. She was now in Luke’s arms. That melancholic feeling from before, of Rose’s presence lacking, tried to push itself to the forefront. Ray held it back. He couldn’t let it linger right now.

As a photographer, he felt the instinctual tug to direct them how to pose. Maybe they’ve started to get the hang of it because of the band, but they just did it themselves. Excited, Julie circled her arms around his waist, grinning up at him. In the golden light, Ray saw just enamoured Luke was. How his eager smile shifted to something more timid. It was an easy picture to shoot. 

He took a few more - those typical ones that would be emailed to every family member and stand on the mantle for a couple of months - and allowed them to have a picture of them kissing “for the Instagram”. (That one _wouldn’t_ be emailed to family - yeesh.)

Julie was glowing. Pure, unaffected joy emanating from her face. Ray softened a little. He didn’t think they’d reach this moment. Four years ago, a part of Julie’s soul died alongside her mother and every day had felt like a battle trying to reclaim it, or reinvent it. And it wasn’t like Luke “revived” her. By the time he came in the picture, she was already singing again and going to parties and having fun with her friends. But he made her life _better_ \- an undeniable fact proven time and time again after a year and half of constant reminders that: “yeah, we love each other.” Ray supposed forming a successful band didn’t hurt her confidence either. 

Emotion lodged in his throat. He was so, _so_ proud. 

‘Thanks, papa,’ she chirped, looking over his shoulder to look at the pictures. ‘They’re great.’

 _‘Ooh,’_ Luke mused, tapping at the viewer. ‘I want this one as my lockscreen.’

Julie pulled a face. ‘I’m mid-laugh there.’

‘Yeah.’ He flicked a tendril brushing her cheek. ‘Exactly.’

It was like he said the perfect thing to mess with her, her face twisting into something Ray could only call “resigned affection”. ‘Stop.’

He peered down at her, eyes levelled. ‘Never.’

‘You don’t wanna be late for dinner, right?’, Ray said. Too much “Julie and Luke Intensity” for one day. Dads had their quota too. 

They nodded. Julie kissed him on the cheek and yelled a goodbye at Carlos through the open doors, though Luke jumped in to quickly bump fists with the brother. 

‘Don’t do any weird shit with my sister!’, Carlos yelled. 

‘Carlos!’, Ray admonished. 

‘Yeah, yeah…’

The couple left, Luke’s bike locked onto one of the trees and piling into Julie’s car, him behind the wheel. They stayed stagnant for another minute because they “had” to find the right song first (something Ray would never understand, as much as Julie tried explaining it), and then drove off. 

(He’d get two texts of her that night. One that they’ve arrived at the prom and that dinner was good, and one nearing five in the morning that they were going to sleep and that her stomach was fine. It had a lot of typos though, so she probably hadn’t been sober either. Whatever. The fact that she even cared to send a text was enough for him. He couldn’t ask for more.) 

Julie came in the next day by noon in a sweatshirt of Luke’s and baggy joggers, her dress thrown over her shoulder. She looked exhausted, though still cheery. Just when he thought she was alone, Luke jumped in behind her. (Yup. He was _always_ here.) He looked even more dishevelled, messy hair stuck under a beanie despite the summer weather. 

‘Hey dad! Okay if we nap for a bit? I’ll tell you all about prom later - sounds good?’

He nodded and watched them go, her hand in his, and he once again realised how natural this was. It settled within him. They were eighteen and barely eighteen and in love and it wouldn’t be going away after graduation. Holding one’s hand so assured, so confidently, didn’t come from simple infatuation. 

It was quiet in her room, but this time, he didn't feel a single speck of worry. 

> **CARLOS**

Turned out Luke was pretty freaking cool. 

It wasn’t like Luke was ever not cool, but he was never _cool._ Sure, he played in a band and all, but Carlos has only ever known him as a dopey-eyed idiot hanging onto the lips of his sister. Simply put: an idiot. The guy wasn’t exactly role model material for a fourteen year old boy when all he saw was “Luke and Julie doing something mushy.” 

A year into dating his sister, Luke showed up unannounced and dropped on the couch next to Carlos. The boy didn’t even flinch. 

‘She’s at Flynn,’ Carlos scoffed, rubbing away a wrong math answer. The way Luke always needed to drape himself around her was so-

‘Oh, I know,’ he perked, his smile widening. ‘Jules told me you bought Smash Brothers. Can I play?’

He looked up, meeting Luke’s expectant gaze. It wasn’t like Luke and him never talked - again, he was always here. It was hard not to talk to the guy when he loved babbling about everything and nothing twenty-four seven. If Carlos ever thought Julie was a rambler, then Luke was on another level. But this hasn’t happened. They’ve never hung out alone.

A tentative grin crawled on his mouth. ‘Wait. With me?’

Luke blinked. ‘Who else?’

So yeah, Luke was pretty freaking cool. Or “fucking” cool, but only when he was around the guys. Gotta impress them somehow. 

The friendship he built with Luke over videogames quickly extended itself to Alex and Reggie and Willie. Alex taught him a few things on the drums and Reggie shared his Google Doc with all of his pick-up lines. Julie admonished him when she found out, saying Carlos was just a freshman, but it only made Reg’s gesture cooler. It was like he got a contraband file from the dark web or something. Willie gave him one of his old skateboards and now, whenever Carlos went to the skatepark with his friends, Willie would more often than not be there to teach him something. (It made him wonder for a second if the relationship Alex and Willie had was just like… “Oh my God, let me continuously one up you by being _more_ nurturing! In your face, bitch-ass!”) 

But he mostly hung with Luke. They played video games and he helped Carlos with history and Carlos taught him how to make empanadillas and sometimes, Julie and Luke let him watch a movie with them. Which was fun, because they often got movie references Julie didn’t and then it kind of felt like an inside joke. Carlos often reminded himself that he shouldn’t get too attached, as his friendship with Luke purely existed through Julie, but it was hard not to. Plus, they were so annoyingly in love that Carlos was convinced they had it in the bag. Julie caught her fish and that was that. 

‘I’m ready, Luke,’ Julie announced. She accidentally spilled nail polish on the bathroom floor and delayed their date, consequently leaving Luke to play Smash with Carlos. Her blue nails were tapping against the couch. They were going to some concert or something. 

Luke was fucking cool, _until_ Julie came in the room. Bleh. All the coolness gone in a snap. 

Carlos paused the game as Luke bounced on his heels, slinging his arms around her waist and sneakily looking around to check for dad. ‘You look hot,’ he whispered. 

Gross. ‘Uh, yeah, I’m still here, idiot.’ 

Julie rolled her eyes at her brother’s comment and kissed Luke. (Though he began to understand the difference between “love” and “in love” last year, he still didn’t get the need for kissing. Didn’t it get old? It seemed like it didn’t, as every time, Luke began to grin mid-kiss and made them giggle. It was horribly gooey.)

‘Thanks.’ A teasing glint entered her eye, hands playing with the ends of his hair. ‘I have to impress the cute singer, right?’

Luke gaped at her. ‘I’m never complimenting you again.’

She laughed. ‘Luke!’

‘No.’ He grabbed his jacket from the couch and shouldered past her. ‘No more confidence booster for you.’

She jumped in front of him, giggling. This weird flirting stuff wasn’t on Reg’s document. ‘I meant _you!_ You’re a singer too, remember?!’

Whatever Carlos thought would happen, didn’t. Maybe, like, a chuckle? Nope. Luke’s instant reaction was to grab her by the waist and swiftly hoist her up, feet hovering above the floor. How _that_ was his _first_ reaction, Carlos would never understand. What he did get was that Luke spent all his time here or at the gym, that was obvious now. 

‘You…’, he started. 

She placed her hands at the back of his neck. Yeesh. Carlos did not need to be attacked with all this PDA. How did it go from Smash Brothers to _this_ in one minute?

Julie nodded. ‘Me.’

He sighed, defeated. ‘You’re driving me insane, Jules.’

She grinned and pecked him again, him setting her back down. She raised her voice. ‘Dad! We’re out!’

‘Have fun!’

Instinctively, Luke’s arm draped itself over her shoulder, the two dressed in shades of black and blue looking like some cartoon power couple. 

‘Bye Carlos.’ She waved at him.

‘Bye little Molina,’ Luke joked.

He harrumphed. ‘Not that little!’

He was in bed by the time they came back, playing on his iPad with the brightness dimmed, and heard a hushed conversation between them and dad. They walked up the stairs, unable to keep their voices down. 

‘C’mon, we’re _way_ better than those asshole,’ Luke boasted. 

Julie giggled. ‘Shh! And you say that about every band.’

‘Because it’s true. We’re fucking dope.’

‘I would _love_ to hear you say that to Dave Grohl’s face.’

He tsked. ‘He’d dig it. Very rock and roll.’

‘Who knows,’ her voice lilted, ‘maybe we’ll be opening for the Foo Fighters in a few years.’

Luke hummed. ‘They’ll be opening for _us,_ babe.’

Carlos’s nose curled up. _Babe?_ Julie was either the mom of the house or a troll - there was no in between. 

‘There’s no lid on the confidence, huh?’

Her bedroom door opened. ‘I bet you like that.’

A pause. Carlos made a face. Oh, man. He preferred them last year when it was still kind of awkward. This was just… too much for him to hear. (Then again, he shouldn’t have been up after midnight, so maybe this was karma or something, or his mom scolding him from heaven. Yeah. That tracked.)

‘Yeah.’

‘Ha!’

The door closed and silence encased the Molina house once again. He shut the iPad. Whatever. As long as Luke played video games with him and separated his two personalities (“Gooey Luke” and “Not gooey Luke”), then whatever they had… was acceptable.

  
(In a few years when Carlos got his own girlfriend, a pretty junior named Helena, he’d mentally thank the boys for all the stupid wisdom they’ve imparted on him. Reg’s sheet did shit. But Luke? Yeah. He was pretty _fucking_ cool.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao a supportive dad? i thought that was a myth??? al,zkdjeh oay i'll sto^p bye happy nye bitches


	17. junior year of high school - part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skater dudes have keen eyes too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i tell you the shame i felt realising i've never done willie..... undefeated. i think that's an actual war crime. so this is juke, but it's actually just willex lmao. hope i did our boys justice!
> 
> also AGAIN IM STILL ON A BREAK but i wanted to start of 2021 good for everyone since life's generally shit

> **WILLIE**

If one had to describe Willie Reed, they’d probably say he was pretty free-spirited and a “go with the flow” type of dude. Like, chill. 

Julie and Luke, decidedly, were not. 

By October first, both seemed to have decided they were gonna be very intense about their friendship and obvious infatuation and it was fucking hilarious. School started at the end of August and they were already acting like they’ve known each other their entire lives. Which Willie could say was weird, cause he knew Julie. He knew how she went about her friendships. Whatever was going on with Luke was so fast and so un-Julie it gave him whiplash, like when he did a trick wrong and he fell back on his board in an odd way. But then… good? Because they clearly liked how fucking ride or die they were. If Willie were to give them Senior Boy Willie Advice, he’d tell them they were rushing it. “Relax,” he’d say. “Just let it happen, don’t push it.”

But that was the thing. They weren’t pushing anything - things just happened. It might’ve been the easiest connection between two people Willie has ever seen. (They were _still_ teenagers though. It was funny as hell to see them stumble through conversations that had so much undercurrent he was surprised neither drowned yet.) 

Willie was the first to say guys and girls could be completely platonic and best friends and have nothing ever happen… but dude, they were so fucking obvious.

Willie and Julie were seven lockers down from one another, and both have become accustomed to a routine. Willie watched, Julie experienced. Every day, fifteen year old Luke (sixteen, in ten days - ha! October kids!) came to her locker for a hug. Every time. A _good morning hug._ To compensate, Julie continuously found ways to reach up and ruffle his hair. The guy had nice hair; he kind of got it. 

Just as Willie was trying to figure out how to take this texting thing with Alex to, well, _not_ texting, he heard an incessant tapping a few feet down. He looked to his right. A fidgety Julie, staring at her phone with laser focus as if it would turn time faster, tapping with her other thumb against the metal door. Willie honestly had no clue how people lived with stress. Seemed exhausting as hell. (Which is _why_ he should get rid of the whole texting thing with Alex! It was stressing the blonde out! Like, Willie could _feel_ the anxiety emanating from every text when he literally had nothing to worry about. Willie had a thing for blonde dudes; Alex just had to smile and that was enough.) 

Maybe he should go up to her? Distract her from her nerves by asking about Alex? 

Luke appeared around the corner, his grin widening at the sight of a zoned out Julie. Oh, boy. Willie crossed his arms with a smirk, eager to watch this unfold. Were they gonna be dweebs again and hug like losers or actually do something? 

But then it just went wrong because they were sixteen and barely sixteen and in high school and nothing _ever_ went smooth in high school.

Just as Luke grabbed for her, Julie turned around and it just- yikes.

They sprung apart with a squeak, Julie unprepared to be hugged from behind and Luke unprepared to be the one doing that - all before 9 am. Willie withheld a snicker. This was _so much better_ than biology class.

Julie slapped his arm. 'What the hell? You scared me!'

Luke made a whining sound. 'I was trying to hug you! But then you had to be all twitchy!'

'I'm not-' She scoffed, unconvincing. 'Twitchy.'

Willie almost shouted "liar" their way, just to see what they'd do. He didn't, but it was still amusing seeing all the ways Julie tried to cover up her big, fat crush. Her voice would go up or she’d nudge his shoulder or pull a grimace. Luke wasn’t even trying to hide. He was as transparent as glass. 

A breathy smile crawled on Luke's face and it freaked Willie how focused he was on her. Like all the oxygen got sucked out and there was just _her._ It didn't seem to faze Julie, though that could be because he never not looked at her like that. Alex told him (in a _text_ \- gah!) that after Julie finished her rendition of “Love On The Brain”, Luke followed her around the entire day desperate to befriend her and that was just the look he’d been sporting since then. His Julie Face. Stuck since August twenty-sixth. 

Somehow, that smile loosened them up, as Julie’s shoulders relaxed and the scowl dropped. 

With a grin, Julie reached up and ruffled his hair, and he let her, and then seconds later pulled her into a proper hug. Aw. Aight. Luke was _somewhat_ pulling a move. 

Though the hug lasted all of three seconds, they took everything out of it. Julie wrapped around his torso, Luke holding her tightly at her waist, his face pressed into her hair. It was so intimate he almost expected a teacher to break it up. 

Their hands lingered when they pulled apart, looked at each other for a beat, and then dropped entirely. 

Damn. He should've snapped a photo of that to Alex. 

'Hi, by the way,' she chirped, grabbing a binder and slamming her locker shut. 

He grinned. 'Hey.' And when Willie thought they would just stand and stare, Luke added: 'I have no clue what to do with Mendoza's class. Like I was reading it… I have no clue what that man is trying to say.’

Julie laughed, their steps falling in sync as they walked towards their class, passing Willie. 

'His assignments are always like that - super retro. Don't worry, I'll help you. Hey, Willie!' 

He threw his hand up. 'Sup.' (The absolute restraint he had not using those ship names Reggie loved to throw around. It was kinda foreign to Willie, but it would’ve been a blast seeing their faces shift to mortification at the word “juke” - a name Reggie so affectionately coined a few days ago.) 

'Hey Willie!' Luke's grin was mischievous. 'Nice thread about dolphins.'

He froze. 'Uh… Alex shows you our texts?' 

'Nah.’ He bounced on his heels. ‘Me and Reg hacked into his phone. _Too_ easy. 0304 is not a good code!' 

0304? Oh, man. Alex was gonna make him do something stupid, like literally skate across the hallways to find that idiot and kiss him. March fourth was Willie's birthday. He remembered that? Shit. He should really do something about their text-ationship. 

Julie sighed. ‘I’ll get him a better password…’ Bemused, she tilted her head. ‘Ooh, maybe we can spam his camera roll first! Change his lockscreen to one of Reggie’s memes?’ 

If Luke hadn't looked completely starry-eyed before, he was now. The dazzling smile he always gave her, bright and full, turned staccato and timid. Like he couldn’t believe she was real. To Willie, she just said normal words in passing, a fun idea to make the dull trek to English better. Luke shook his head in disbelief and threw an arm around her shoulder. From the way his hands had twitched before, it wouldn’t surprise Willie if he’d been thinking of a hug but chickened out. They had a quota for that or something? 

He clicked his tongue. ‘We're a bad influence on you.’

Their voices began to fade as they continued their way to class. Julie snorted. ‘You guys are so harmless. You just make everything more chaotic.’

'Eh. That's the same.'

'No, it's not.'

'Yes, it is.'

'Not!'

'Is!'

And then they peered at each other for a beat, Julie's finger pointed at his face and Luke struggling to keep serious composure. He broke first, leaning in even closer with an illegal smile. 

'You're cute when you're mad.' 

Her hand fell slack on surprise, eyes widening at his Very Flirtatious And Telling Words. Huh. PDA wasn’t allowed in the hallways, but this kind of felt like they broke a rule anyway. 

'You're... not,' she muttered. Luke was cute though. That was a fact even Willie couldn't deny. And the guy knew it too, grin widening and pulling her back under his arm. Her arms hung limp at her sides, but he caught the way she nudged her hip against his right as they turned the corner. Alright. Alex had to know about this! 

**bet on when julie and luke get together??**

The reply was instantaneous. Willie let the a private grin come on his face. 

**Reggie thinks they're hiding it, I think winter formal. Wbu?**

Willie thought for a second. 

**halloween!! couples costume, nicks party, calling it now!!!**

And then he just went for it because Willie never liked to overthink anyway. 

**take you out if i win?**

**...** **  
****On a date or?**

**yea**

Alex suddenly appeared in front of him (yeesh, all these Sunset Curve boys were swift!), unable to keep the smile on his face subdued. Having Alex suddenly here and not pixelated by words kind of struck Willie in a weird way. A good weird. A smile twitched on his own lips. 

‘Yeah,’ Alex said. ‘That sounds, uh, sounds cool.’

***

The second time he saw them was at the skatepark. At first, it excited him, because wherever Luke was, the boys were too. Which meant Alex would be smoking a joint somewhere while grimacing at the guys smacking on their faces in the ramp. Which meant all Willie had to was some tricks on his board and grab his attention, maybe even share the joint. The universe really was that simple. But then he took a proper look around and realised they weren’t there. No grimacing Alex or Reggie teaching the newbies the ropes. It was just Julie and Luke.

Alright then. Whatever. He could hang with them too! But then, just as he took a step, Luke made a _move._ He skidded right in front of the bench she was sitting on and jumped off with a hint of swag. (As much swag high schoolers could have, but in that moment Willie did think he had swag.) He said something and she shook her head, but then he pulled her from the bench anyway. 

Just as he thought Julie would pull away again, her hand stayed in Luke’s. Oh, damn. He should take a pic and send it to the group chat. Then it hit him. 

Oh, _fuck._ As much as he wanted to root for his friend, Luke could _not_ be pulling out the moves right now! It wasn’t even his birthday yet! And if Julie and Luke decided to suddenly fast forward, then he wouldn’t win the bet! Willie has never been particularly competitive (life wasn’t a race, dude), but this… this mattered. Realistically, he knew he could just ask Alex out again if he lost and he’d likely say yes, but he really wanted to win. 

Sorry, Luke. No moves for you. 

Just as Luke was helping her on the board, Willie skated towards them. 'Hey guys!', he exclaimed.

Julie ripped her gaze from her wobbly feet and trembling knees and grinned at him. 'Hey Willie.'

Luke unlocked one hand and went to bump his fist, when Julie latched onto his shoulder.

'Luke! If you let me fall I swear to God-!'

'Julie, just balance!'

She began laughing. 'Luke, I don't even know what I need to do.'

He looked up at her face and watched her laugh. Willie had to do something quick. 

'Want me to teach you a thing or two?', he asked. Luke instantly shot him a look. Though it wasn’t with malintent, he definitely got the hint. _Yeesh._ Looks killed, dude! 

Julie didn’t notice and also seemed to hear half of what he said anyway, too focused on not falling. The two just kept grinning at each other. Hopeless. 

'I'm gonna start walking, aight?', Luke said. 

He grabbed back onto her hands and took slow steps to the left. Julie, shrieking from her utter lack of stability and balance, only gets a few feet before she just let go of all her strength and dropped herself into Luke's arms. (Whether Julie had been genuinely scared of falling or just needed an excuse to be close, it was a good fucking move. Snaps for Jules!) He nearly toppled over from the impact, sputtering in her hair. They caught each other’s eye and began giggling like it was the funniest thing ever. 

Luke's board rolled away, but neither made a move to grab it. Alright. He had to do something before the embrace got out of hand. Somehow, nothing came to mind. 

'No skateboarding for you then,' Luke grinned. 

Julie bumped his chest, not platonic at all. 'Maybe you're just a bad teacher.'

He leaned closer, challenged. 'I think it's your weak knees, Jules.'

 _'I_ have weak knees?’ She scoffed. ‘You were struggling to follow during hiphop last Wednesday!' 

'Reg was distracting me!' 

She got in his face, eyes wide with amused mock. Her voice lilted. 'Take the L, Luke.'

His smile mellowed to something softer. 'Okay.'

Nope. Reggie could not be right in thinking they were secretly dating already. Radical intervention in three, two, one!

Willie cupped his hands around his lips. 'Very cute flirting, you guys!' 

Yup. That did it. Huh - that _really_ did it. Like he doused them in cold water, Julie took a very big, very awkward step back away from the boy. Luke looked ready to kill him, even with the pink on his cheekbones. Not like it mattered much. They all knew that tomorrow would just be the same song of gooey gazes and all that shit. Willie was satisfied though. One day closer to winning the bet!

'Just kidding,' he jabbed. 'Gotta bounce!' 

As he briefly looked over his shoulder whilst skating, Julie and Luke were talking again. Little less intense before, but still smiling. They were still acting all cute though. Just a few more weeks and then they could smooch faces! 

***

The third time they were all over each other was at Luke's 16th birthday party on October eleventh. He was playing with Sunset Curve at some twenty-one and under club - Ecliptica - that somehow didn't feel childish. A dark, basement vibe with a smoky atmosphere and amazing acoustics. They sold fruity energy drinks and those that were sneaky enough (like Willie) easily spiked their can with alcohol. Not like their set was a dud, but come on! It was a party! A little vodka Red Bell never hurt anyone! (Plus, Alex was playing and he looked really good so maybe, Willie was like a little little little little antsy. But like barely.) 

They were rocking a bunch of Sunset Curve staples and a handful of covers, all rock and punk and one even leaning on metal and everyone was eating out of their hands. The boys were prodigies, somehow all having that rockstar allure others took decades to master. The smiles and the winks and the chemistry and the interaction. Everything just worked so fucking well. And yeah: Alex was hot. That was all Willie could think of. Alex was hot.

Willie was standing in the middle of the pit swarmed by jumping, dancing, singing classmates and other LA kids that have stumbled upon the place. Luke didn't want his party to be "exclusive" ('That's elitist as fuck,' he said just a few days ago) or have it be about him. The only thing he wanted to do was play and have fun. Mission achieved.

His eyes were trained on Alex, the blonde expertly drumming his sweat off as the songs picked up pace and energy. Every once in a while his voice joined in, or he got a seperate line, and it was just so cool to hear him sing too. Alex was just hot and cool - if not a little uptight. (But that was kind of cute too. Fuck. He really liked this guy.)

Julie stood next to him, swaying and dancing with some purple can of soda in hand. He didn't have to guess where her eyes were going. Or rather: where they stuck. 

If Luke was all dopey offstage, he had all the swag onstage. It was like a switch flipped and flirtatious charisma came pouring out. The growl in his singing voice, the grin stretched across. If you didn’t know the guy, you’d probably think he was some playboy. It wasn’t hard to see why Julie liked him. Then again, the same could be said the other way around. He’s heard Julie sing. She kind of had the voice that forced you to sit down and listen. It wouldn’t surprise him if that was what did it for Luke too. 

They ended with a flashy cover from The Killers and the crowd roared once more for the band that would hopefully bulldozer through the rest of LA in a couple of years. (Willie wouldn't tell Alex, but something was missing to their sound. He couldn't pinpoint what though. Whatever. Not important.)

The band jumped off stage, claps on the back and whistles and squeezes on the shoulder as they shouldered past to get water from the bar. Willie caught Alex's eye, putting his thumb in the air. Alex smiled and made a "hold up" sign, disappearing between the masses again. 

'Cute!', Julie yelled over the trap music that began playing. 

Willie nudged her shoulder. 'I've seen the eyes you've been pulling tonight, Piano Girl!' 

She avoided his knowing smile to take a sip from her drink. 'I have no idea what you're talking about. But really: you and Alex are cute!' 

Two sweaty arms slung around her shoulders from behind. 'You liked the set?' 

Julie whirled around between his arms, beaming. 'You were amazing!' 

Despite it being his own question, Luke was stunned. 'Oh! I mean: yeah!' 

And then they were off in their own little world where Luke revolved in Julie's orbit and vice versa. The fact that he was heavily leaning into her kept both unfazed. He'd try to temper the obvious from happening, but Willie kind of just wanted to talk to Alex and not think about the bet. Alex hadn't come though, his blonde mop a dot in the distance as a cluster of people became impossible to wade through. Willie stifled a snicker. Poor dude. 

'You should do more of The Killers.' 

'Yeah?'

'Mh-hm. Or like, the song we've been working on - you know, with the-’

‘Yeah, yeah!’

‘Exactly. It kind of has the same vibe lyrically but I think we could lean into the sound too. It's less punk then, but-' 

'No, no! I like it! That's a great idea.’ He laughed with his Julie Face cranked up to eleven. His arms were still leaning on her shoulders and Willie wasn’t sure whether it made them more shy or emboldened. ‘You'd sing with us, right?' 

'I'm not Sunset Curve.'

'C'mon!’ That rockstar grin came back from onstage. ‘You know we can't do it without you!' 

Her voice perked up from hearing that. 'Maybe... Sunset Curve featuring Julie Molina as a bonus track?' 

He gave her a look. 'Or _maybe_ you can just join the band!' 

Julie crossed her arms, unimpressed. 'Piano? In Sunset Curve?' 

'Like you said, change the sound a little! Mix it up!’ A finger got caught in her curls. ‘Reg has been _begging_ to experiment more.'

'I was there. Alex almost made him cry from how supportive he was.' 

'See!’ The longer Julie talked to him, the brighter his smile got. Yeah. All that superstar swag gone the she got in his line of sight. It seemed to work for her though; the gleaming eyes and a hand on his wrist gave her own intentions away. ‘You know that! You're basically part of the band already!' 

Julie couldn't keep the smile of her face. 'I'll think about it. Now get your sweaty arms off me!' 

Luke got even closer though, sliding his arms further down her shoulder. 'Nah, you're smiling! You like it!' 

Pushing him back, barely, she retorted: 'Because you're a goof.'

Finally, Alex reached him with an agitated puff and a scowl at the clusters behind them. 'Fucking people...' 

'I know, at a club?' Willie scoffed. 'Crazy!' 

Alex peered. 'Aren't I supposed to be the sarcastic one?' 

Cute. Plain cute. 'Good job out there, by the way.' 

The smile returned. 'Thanks. Uh-' His head whirled around, kind of antsy, and then turned back to him. 'Wanna maybe smoke outside? It's kind of, I'm kind of feeling a little warm. I get it if you don't-'

'No, dude, totally fine!' Willie grinned at the relieved look on his face. Alex thought some anxiety and a blunt could scare him off? The amount of times he nearly broke all his bones while skateboarding kind of took that edge away. 'Let's go!' 

'Luke, we'll be going - oh.' Alex's words stumped, rolling his eyes so far back it was just white. Willie chortled when he caught sight of his exasperation. Oh, man. They were gone. 

They were talking a bit further away now, the music of the DJ too loud to overhear, but the image said enough. Both standing far too close to be friendly, basically talking to each others mouths and not even caring if the other saw. With Julie in those baggy pants and he in his Rush tee, they looked like a couple. 

'Halloween, huh?!', Alex yelled in his ear. 

'I'm still betting on it!'

***

Willie was fucking psychic and he’d be basking in that knowledge for years to come. 

Not only were they wearing a couple’s costume at Nick’s Halloween bash (Peter Pan and Tinker Bell no less!), he saw them make out. Like. Intensely. 

(Later, Alex would tell him that couldn’t be true, as their first kiss was outside the studio after the party, to which Willie shrugged with a grin. Alright. If they wanted to be liars about it. Maybe “making out all sweaty at a Halloween party” wasn’t very romantic to tell the press.)

He had been looking for Alex, somehow losing sight of him in that awesome Prince costume in the kitchen, when they were just, like, _there._ Though he didn’t see Alex, he did find Reggie. 

“Waldo”-Reggie was drunk and contently eating from a bowl of chips as he watched on like a proud father. ‘It’s so awkward but they’re so happy.’

‘And I win!’, Willie whooped. Yeah. He kind of felt the alcohol too. Those tequila suicides were _a lot._ ‘Told ya they’d be smooching faces by Halloween!’

Reggie snickered. ‘Where’re you taking Alex? _Ooh!_ The ball pit! Please say the ball pit!’

‘The…?’

‘Ball pit. Of McDonalds.’

Willie reckoned their was a level of drunk he hasn’t reached yet (and wouldn’t like to reach). ‘I’ll keep that one for the second date. But, uh! The museum in WeHo!’

Luke and Julie _still_ haven’t let go. Damn. And weren’t they both DD? Making out like that while sober was brave as fuck. But then they separated and looked at each other unsure, cause this was high school, all of sudden shy to touch each other. For real? They were scared it was meaningless or something? Reggie and him gave each other a look. 

Willie let out a disbelieving laugh. ‘Nah. They can’t be-!’

‘They can,’ Reggie drawled, propping his head on the table. ‘Both have mommy issues. I’m sure that manifests itself somehow.’

‘Dude, _what?’_

Reg shrugged. His eyes were drooping. ‘I’m smart.’

By the time he found Alex, all were in the basement hanging out - including Julie and Luke. They seemed to have let the moment between them pass and act normal again. Their normal, so super fucking touchy and mushy, but at least they didn’t look scared anymore. Maybe they were testing the waters before jumping all in? Whatever. Frankly, Willie was too hyped to care (he won, he won, he won!) and simply wanted to spent time with an Alex that got emboldened when he drank and that was awesome as hell.

(And so, Willie won and took Alex to that museum in WeHo where they joked about the paintings and sculptures and afterwards Alex kissed him - which neither had been expecting. Willie realised he wasn’t into blondes. He was into blondes that liked pink hoodies and kept their weed in a fanny pack and could drum like a beast and had a cute, little smile on their face. They went on double dates a lot after. Whereas everything went fast with Julie and Luke, things went slow and steady between Alex and him. And he liked that. Living in the moment, right?) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, it's willie reed. fuck you. also if you don't think alex kept his stash in there back in the 90s then you are lying to yourself.
> 
> also major high school vibes kissing someone you like at a party and then being unsure whether it counts cause it's a party and parties are like... no man's land?? - raise your hand if you've been there lmao


	18. freshmen year of college

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That dorm room has seen it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i suck at breaks and i'm this close to ripping all my uni books in half so this is my stress relief. enjoy. 
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **ALINA, NOVEMBER**

Alina had a long day. Though it was nearing the end of the first semester of freshmen year, she still wasn’t quite used to how rigorous it was, how it was like: _ here’s high school, here’s university, now become Usain Bolt and start sprinting you asshole.  _ She adored her major, but that didn’t mean that sometimes - usually late at night when her roommate was on the phone in the hallway while she was bend over her desk ready to throw everything out the window - she thought of just dropping out. When she told her newly made friends that, they all gravely nodded. One boy, a blonde that perpetually smoked joints and was  _ the  _ image of a university kid, told her that he’d give her the best supplier in the world if it weren’t for the fact that smoking was haram. Whatever; the gesture was sweet. The students themselves definitely made life more bearable. 

But now she was walking up the stairs to her dorm, back aching and ready for a nap before diving back into her studies. Her fingers were red from drawing all day. 

Unfortunately, a guy was barring her door. At least, that was what she thought. She hoped she was wrong, as she was at the beginning of the hallway and maybe her eyesight was failing her; that he was sitting against a different door. 

No. He wasn’t. Alina really had to deal with this as well. 

‘Excuse me, that’s my room.’

He jumped up in surprise, the breathtaking smile for someone that just started talking to him quickly dropping to frowning confusion. (She knew she shouldn’t feel bad about that. This was  _ her  _ dorm and  _ her  _ room and  _ her  _ stuff, but then she remembered how women always felt guilty for like, existing, so she couldn’t scold herself too hard for feeling that pit of disappointment at his frown. Maybe she should listen to that TEDTalk again.) 

‘What d’you mean?’

Alina pointed at the white board on the door.  _ ALINA + JULIE + ITUNES 4 FREE!!  _

His mouth formed an “oh”, the confusion morphing to a sheepish smile and a nod of the head. Yeesh. The guy’s brain either worked too fast and he always had to catch up on himself or the exact opposite. He looked quite familiar too, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. 

A grin crawled on his face. ‘Sorry, I forgot Julie had a roommate. I’m Luke.’

Luke. Of course this was Luke. This was Julie’s long-time boyfriend, the one she often called with in the hallway and the one pinned on her bulletin board. She has never given it much thought, just filed it away under everything Julie-related in her head (Julie: eighteen, music major, in a band, super sweet, a boyfriend named Luke.) He looked like his picture too, though a bit older and with bigger built. Of all the boys Julie would like, Alina never thought the girl would be into bulging biceps and muscle tees. Then again, she was a musician. It sort of made sense. 

Concluding that Luke indeed suited her roommate, she said: ‘I’m Alina. Julie’s not here yet.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ he sighed. ‘She’s usually here before you so that’s why I’ve never seen you, I think. I guess her class is running late or something.’

The way he said it made her believe he also actually thought that. And it was probably true too - music classes often ran late, he just never experienced one in real time. It just surprised her that this Luke boy - as cliché as he looked - didn’t jump to conclusions of “cheating”, “acting suspicious” or “being an inconsiderate girlfriend.” She’s been on campus for long enough to know how fucking stupid freshman boys could be. (That was also why she put her Tinder on a minimum age of twenty. She had _ taste, _ thank you very much.) 

Alina meandered at her door, keys limp in her hand. ‘Uh…’ Do the good thing. ‘You can… wait inside? If you want?’

His brows raised. ‘I won’t be a distraction or something?’

‘No,’ she waved it off. ‘I wasn’t going to do anything immediately anyway. And she’s going to be here in like, ten minutes probably.’

His smile brightened, all of a sudden his face becoming boyish. ‘Sweet! Thanks.’

Okay, she kind of saw it now. 

Opening the door, she withheld a cringe. Their room looked like the result of a tornado passing by, or those Spanish bulls racing through the streets. Julie told her at the beginning of the year that she was “very neat, don’t worry about it”, but university life had gotten to her too and now they were both chaotic as hell. Heaps of fabric and muslin thrown over Alina’s desk and bed, a mannequin precariously leaning between dresser and desk and this close to killing someone, books (so many fucking books) everywhere, an avalanche of crumpled papers littering the ground of Julie’s side like snow, clothes spilling from the closet, an embarrassing amount of Starbucks cups stacked on the keyboard. 

The myth that girls were the neat ones of the genders was well and truly busted. 

It unfazed Luke though. He bounced inside while smiling at Julie’s side and fell on her bed, grabbing the baggy t-shirt strewn on her pillow. 

Alina swallowed down the urge to apologise ( _ her _ space!) and decided to train her small talk. ‘So what do you do? You don’t go to college here, right?’

‘Nope,’ he sagged against the wall, still clutching the t-shirt, ‘I don’t go to college. Not for me. I’m part of Julie’s band - you’ve heard of us?’

Nodding, she sat down on her desk chair. ‘Yes. She has played a couple of your songs on the piano. I like them.'

‘Nice. You do, uh, fashion stuff?’

She laughed at the way he fumbled with the words, like he didn’t want to offend her. ‘Yeah, double major. Fashion design and technology.’

He hopped off the bed, clearly not the type to be sitting still for long periods of time. Perhaps it was best he didn’t go to college. The three hour lectures would probably drive him insane. He began grabbing Julie’s frumpled clothes and refolding them. ‘That’s so dope. Julie was thinking of that too for a bit, like, to not constantly be busy with music, but then decided not to.’ He sent her a secretive smirk. ‘She  _ cannot  _ sew for shit.’ 

Her eyes were glued to his motions. He was refolding her clothes. He was… refolding… her clothes. Horribly at that, but the fact remained. She didn’t know whether to tell him that was not his job and Julie could do it herself, or congratulate the girl for having found such a dedicated guy.

Somehow, talking about Julie made him loose-lipped. ‘Not to dump my thoughts on you but, dude, I miss her, like,  _ a lot.’  _ He slid her closet shut. ‘She’s probably gonna get the band to a whole new level by studying music like this, but she’s always busy, I’m working odd jobs, we hardly see each other, I’m alone at my place  _ knowing  _ she’s here and-’ He puffed, catching Alina’s stunned gaze and not even hiding the fact how miserable he was.

The contortion of his features were a bit dramatic, but she felt for him. He missed his girlfriend. High school sweethearts that saw each other 24/7 to hardly ever. She understood. She just hadn’t expected him to have his heart on his sleeve and pour all the details onto her. He didn’t even know her last name. (Then again, he wasn’t muslim and probably wouldn’t be able to pronounce it anyway. She has stopped giving a fuck long ago when white boys frowned and tried to say it.) 

An awkward chuckle puffed from his mouth. ‘I like the headscarf, by the way. The, uh, shade of blue is Julie’s favourite.’

Oh, man. Luke  _ desperately  _ missed her. She knew it wouldn’t help, but her designer brain made her do it anyway. ‘Periwinkle,’ she supplied. 

Apparently it did help, the smile returning to something less depressing. ‘Awesome.’

The door opened, a weary Julie stepping inside with a coffee in hand. ‘Alina, you will not believe who-’

Her words were interrupted by the boy jumping for joy and grabbing her into a bear-crushing hug. Magnetically, Julie slung her arms around his neck and nearly spilled her drink. Alina quickly flitted over to pull it from her hands and set in on her desk, to which Julie smiled back at her gratefully. Luke raised her from the floor, her feet hovering for a bit and making her kiss his cheek. 

‘Hey,’ she giggled as he placed her down again. ‘I didn’t know you’d be coming.’

‘I texted you, but-’

‘Phone’s off,’ they said simultaneously. Well then. 

Alina has seen Julie in every stage possible. Happy, tired, drunk, frustrated, close to a meltdown, close to jamming her face on the keys, angry and ready to fight, shaking from caffeine, even horny (those walls didn’t filter out those phone calls all the time unfortunately), but she’s never seen her like this. The way her face broke into such a bright, reverent gaze, eyes shining with love and emotion. The way all her tiredness washed away at the sight of him. That when he cradled her cheeks, she leaned into it like there wasn’t a better feeling in the world. It took Alina off guard. She hadn’t expected to see  _ all of that  _ at five in the afternoon. 

But it was sweet. So incredibly sweet. 

He pulled her back into a hug, her face disappearing into his shirt. ‘I missed you,’ he mumbled. ‘I always miss you.’

Her chin propped itself on his chest. ‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered. ‘If I could make my schedule less busy, I would.’

‘It’s okay,’ he breathed, kissing her. Julie’s lips curled up. ‘You’re here now.’

Julie caught Alina’s eye again. ‘Oh, sorry Alina. We won’t bother you with our mushiness.’

‘Hey, we’re not-!’

‘It’s fine,’ Alina shrugged. ‘It’s very cute. I’ll see you tomorrow then?’

Julie’s smile flitted from Alina back to Luke and threw an arm around his waist. ‘Yeah. I’ll be with Luke. You can have my coffee if you want, I haven’t touched it yet.’

This girl was a literal angel sometimes. ‘Thanks, Julie!’ 

While Alina busied herself with finding something on Netflix to relax with, Julie and Luke chatted on her side of the room as she packed her bag. 

‘Why did you refold these?’

‘Because I wanted to.’

She laughed. ‘It’s going to be a mess again in two days.’

‘Whatever. I learned something by the way: periwinkle.’

A pause. ‘Periwinkle?’

‘Your favourite colour, right?’, he grinned. 

‘I- yeah.’

‘Didn’t know it had a name; Alina told me.’

She heard them kiss. ‘You are so cute if you want to be.’

‘Only for you, Jules. Gotta get those kisses.’

Her murmur was quiet. ‘You don’t need to do anything to get those.  _ Ooh, _ can we make pesto pasta?’

Luke chuckled. ‘Sure.’

It was unfortunate that Alina decided to look up then, only to see Luke wrapped around her from behind, chin propped on her shoulder, as they stared in the mirror while Julie was throwing her things in a toiletry bag. She bumped him. 

‘You look hot,’ she teased. 

_ ‘Ooh, _ Julie’s trying to flirt.’ He kissed her neck. ‘How embarrassing.’

Her deadpan almost made Alina laugh. ‘I’m not trying, I  _ am  _ flirting. And it’s working.’ 

He nodded sternly, though the mischief gleaming in his eye told her that there was so much unspoken only they understood. She realised she only got half of what they were saying. He kissed her again. ‘Yeah, it is.’

Julie squirmed and gently pushed him off, throwing the toiletry bag in her fuchsia duffle bag. Shooting Alina a smile, she said: ‘Good night, Alina. Don’t murder Svetlana.’

Svetlana, the mannequin, and Alina have been in quite the battle this semester. The joke made Luke frown, which made Alina secretly happy. Despite how close she and Luke were, Alina and Julie still had some inside jokes that no one but them got. They were becoming true friends. 

‘No promises. Good night, guys!’

She watched them go. An eager Luke throwing an arm over Julie’s shoulder and tucking her into his side, their smiling whispers fading into the hallway. The door shut. 

(That night, she only saw one more thing of Julie. An IG story of a dingy stove where a shirtless Luke (damn) was dramatically throwing pine nuts into the pesto sauce, classic rock playing in the background but their laughter overpowering it. The video continued and he glanced at the camera with such a soft gaze that it almost felt too intimate for anyone else to see. “Why’re you filming?”, he laughed, coming closer, the rustle of clothing heard. The angle was quite unflattering now, nose on full display, but adorable nonetheless. “Cause you’re cute,” Julie snickered. The soft hum of an “I love you” was heard (she couldn’t make out whether it was him or her or both), though cut short; the story flitted to one of her other friends.)

(How incredible that Julie found the love of her life so early. Alina used periwinkle fabric that night, inspiration bursting from the exhilarating glimpse of true love.) 

> **ALINA, JUNE**

There was something very comforting in knowing that, at the end of the day, her dorm room would be the same as she left it. She’d feel like choking mister Choi for being a creepy bastard that hates any fashion past the sixties, or frustrated by a gaggle of sorority girls yelling the quad together, or have a near death experience by being hit with a frisbee from those hippie groups, but then there was the dorm. Safe, warm, occasionally quiet. Like now, when she came to the door and heard no piano playing. Alina sighed. Finally: tranquility. 

But then she opened the door and was almost hit in the face with a stack of boxes. 

She shrieked, stumbling back. 

Julie popped up from the other side. ‘Sorry, Alina! Hold up-’ As Julie pushed the boxes out of the way, confusion coiled in her stomach. What was she doing? And why was her bulletin board empty? Did those boxes hold her stuff? It hit her. Julie was packing. The confusion morphed into upset. Was she… leaving? 

‘What're you doing?’, Alina asked, slipping inside and hopping over all the crap on the floor. When she looked over her shoulder, her suspicion was confirmed. Her side was  _ completely  _ bare. 

Her eyes grew sorrowful. ‘Did I do something wrong?’

Julie gasped and rushed forward, grabbing her hands. ‘No! Oh my God, no. I’m moving in with the band and I-’ She shook her head. ‘I should’ve told you sooner but it all happened so fast and with finals…’

Alina couldn’t keep up. ‘You’re moving in with the band? With  _ Luke?  _ But you’re… you’re nineteen, Julie. Is that a good idea?’

They sat down on Alina’s bed, hers still made as Julie’s was blank and probably held diseases from generations past. Julie looked gutted and guilty. ‘I know. It’s for the band’s sake. This year we’ve hardly made any progress-’

Alina’s look fell flat. ‘You released Bright. It was on the radio  _ for weeks. _ ’ 

‘It’s less progress than we’re used to,’ she chuckled, a little elated. ‘But Luke realised that if we all live together we’ll have more time creating. You know, no commuting anymore.’

Though she was relieved it wasn’t her that did something to turn Julie off, her worry grew. ‘Luke proposed living together? Julie, I know you guys love each other but isn’t living with your boyfriend when you’re this young a little… fast?’

An almost tragic smile bloomed on her lips. ‘It’s, uh…’ She began nervously twisting the silver ring on her finger, too bulky and out there that it must be Luke’s. ‘It’s inevitable,’ she whispered, the secret drifting between them.

‘Oh.’ That kind of said everything, didn’t it? 

‘Yeah.’

She couldn’t help but ask, maybe as advice for her future self. ‘Isn’t that scary? That you know that?’

‘It is,’ Julie said lightly. ‘But I know he loves me, like, to the point where I sometimes feel I don’t deserve it-’ Her eyes began to water. ‘He sometimes does things, like - I think you were there - he starts folding my clothes. And he doesn’t have to do that. But he does, just because he can and he loves me and he thinks it’s normal, but he’s not even nineteen yet. It shouldn’t be normal. We’re going so fast, but it’s not like we’re gonna stop moving forward because…’ Her shoulders sagged, that tragic smile turning into acceptance of the way the stars had aligned for her. ‘It’s  _ him. _ And I know that. I’ve known since… we were laying on the grass outside in March and he was humming this tune in my ear and I just knew.’

Alina didn’t know what to say, a lump of emotion lodging her throat at Julie’s heartfelt speech, unsure how to react when devoted love slapped her right in the face. That feeling like that, the way Julie was experiencing it, was  _ real.  _ And maybe she was being melodramatic, because she was nineteen and not even allowed to legally drink yet, but it felt true. It  _ was  _ true. How else would she pinpoint such a small moment as “folding clothes” as a token of his love for her? 

‘Julie?’

Luke’s head appeared in the doorway, his excited smile dropping at the sight of the two emotional girls holding each other’s hands. ‘Oh, should I wait outside? I didn’t realise you were saying goodbye.’

‘It’s fine,’ Alina said, voice thick. Her smile focused back on Julie, secretive, and hugged her tight. ‘You’re right,’ she whispered, ‘you shouldn’t be scared.’

Julie’s eyes shone with relief and unshed tears. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured, squeezing her tight. ‘You bet your ass I’ll be stalking you next year. Svetlana won’t be your only problem.’

Alina laughed. ‘Good. I’ll need someone to vent with about princess seams.’

The girls chuckled, a tear leaking down Julie’s cheek as she stood up and walked towards Luke. Worry pinched his brows as he took her in. 

‘You okay?’, he muttered. 

‘Yeah,’ she breathed, sniffing the emotion away. ‘Let’s get these boxes down, hm?’

Alina watched as thirty minutes went by of them coming in and out of the dorm grabbing boxes, the pile slowly diminishing until the room felt too spacious and naked. Colder. No keyboard, no heap of colourful clothing, no composition paper bursting from beneath the bed. If it weren’t for the small  _ J _ scratched into the wood of the headboard, one would think Julie has never even been here. They came up a final time for a small carry-on and her UCLA tote.

Julie seemed in better spirits again, smiling and face devoid of anxiousness. 

‘The plant debate is still up,’ Luke waltzed in, joking. 

‘Nope. The window sill is going to plants, plants, plants,’ Julie argued, arms crossed. ‘And you’re going to love it.’

‘I don’t want to suffocate in cacti, Jules.’

Her smile became sweet. ‘We can name them?’

‘Because we’d remember those?’

She stretched onto her tippy-toes and draped her arms around his shoulders. ‘What if we name them after our songs?’

Luke paused, a grin slowly coming onto his lips and shaking her head. ‘You win this round. Round two in the car?’ He held his hand out. 

She shook it. ‘Deal.’ Before she could pull back, he drew her closer and kissed her full on the lips. Alina shook her head amusedly, eyes going back to her Instagram. She could put a picture of them online tagged “couple goals” and get a million likes no doubt. 

‘Okay, Alina…’ Julie trailed. ‘We’re, uh, we’re going.’

They were. And only forward. Only ever going forward, even when they jumped into the deep end. 

(She’d be at their wedding a couple years later, all twenty-five and her wearing that periwinkle blue hijab for the occasion. Though Alina didn’t design her wedding dress (she specialised in tailoring), Julie did ask for her designer eye to help decide which one suited her best. Julie eventually went with her gut anyway, but it was a nice moment nonetheless. Alina sat in the middle of the botanical garden and watched as a beautiful Julie walked down the aisle with her father, the path covered with moss and flowers. Luke waited on the other end, eyes shining and hands twitching to hold her. They said their vows and Julie was crying and Luke was barely holding them back. Before the marriage officiant allowed them to kiss, Luke had already snatched her in his embrace and kissed her until the crowd began to whistle and whoop. Alina caught Julie’s eye, so infinitely overjoyed and in love. 

Not a shred of worry was seen.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ophelia Learns A New Word: "glimpse" - it's so adorable when you pronounce it. It sounds like a name of a fairy from the Tinker Bell movies.


	19. senior year of high school - part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how to cope when the clingiest couple alive goes to your school? wikihow article for dummies 101 dot com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so fucking indulgent

> **NICK**

God really had it out for him. For a multitude of reasons. 

Despite the fact that Julie has been with Luke since the beginning of junior year, here he was, still crushing on this girl by January senior year. It was bad, it was pathetic, but every time she sang in class he just fell back in. It became even sadder when she finished singing and then sat next to Luke who’d look at her _completely_ smitten. 

Julie was just genuinely _cool._ Nick liked cool girls. It was really that easy. She was nice and talented and was never deliberately mean and she was attractive. Like, “scrolling on her Instagram when lonely”-attractive. 

(He remembered how cute she look during Halloween last year and how he had prepared to make a move, only for him to see them two hours later making out in the kitchen while Willie was drunkenly whooping in the distance. He would’ve made a tiktok if he didn’t feel fucking miserable about it.

They didn’t even go to his Halloween bash this year. Them and their friends drank in their studio and then watched spooky movies, according to IG stories. On Flynn’s snap, he saw Julie and Luke wore Stitch onesies, because they were apparently going for Cutest Couple two years in a row or something. Fuck his life.) 

Another reason why God had it out for him, was because of the new locker arrangement. Every school year, some kids had to change lockers as the seniors graduated and a new stream of freshmen came in. Nick was one of those that had to switch, which he didn’t have a problem with, until he realised where he had to relocate. 

Seven lockers down from Julie. 

In an alternate reality, that would’ve been his dream come true. In the same hallway as his crush, for an entire year, with copious amounts of chances to strike up a conversation and get closer? Fucking amazing. Nick would literally be making all the excuses on a piece of paper from excitement. 

But this wasn’t an alternate reality. Julie and Luke were in a very committed relationship and for some reason, the universe decided to taunt him by making Luke a touchy person too. Every day, Nick would be at his locker before first period getting his right books, eyeing Julie seven locker downs, when Luke would sneak up on her and hug her from behind and whisper “good morning” in her ear. Every day. Why he still “snuck up” on Julie when it was routine left him baffled. She knew he was coming; there was no reason for anything they were doing. 

So yeah, they were vying for that Cutest Couple yearbook spot. 

Luke reminded Nick of those movie heartthrob boys from the nineties. He was Freddie Prinze Jr., Paul Rudd, Rider Strong and Joseph Gordon-Levitt all combined into floppy hair and a muscle tank. Nick didn’t get it. Unless he was incredibly dumb, he could’ve _sworn_ Julie had a crush on him in sophomore year when he was still with Carrie; how did her type go from him to _Luke?_ It just seemed like the dude watched all those movies, processed it way too intensely and then projected that onto Julie. Didn’t she want someone real? 

Or Nick just had to move on. Yeah… that was probably it. 

This January was quite different from all the others Nick has experienced. Every few generations, Los Angeles got hit with a wintery blizzard. The climate was out of wack, snow interchanging the sun, warm temperatures dropping below zero. Naturally, the Californians weren’t prepared. Nick wore a sweater and two t-shirts under his letterman jacket, but it still wasn’t enough, the chill creeping in his bones. 

Seven lockers down, Julie was _vibrating_ from the cold. Despite wearing the fluffiest, thickest zip-up pullover and seemingly sturdy jeans, she was shaking. Nick has been debating for five minutes whether or not to go up to her, despite knowing that Luke would appear like clock work, when the boy himself sauntered towards her. 

Luke slung his arms around her. ‘Hey.’

Julie whirled around and pressed her face into his chest, his arms instantly tightening her flush against him. 

‘Wow,’ he muttered. ‘Something wrong?’

‘It’s cold!’, Julie groaned. Luke laughed, shaking his head, and began heating up her back with his hands. Her head popped up, frowning. ‘You’re not cold?’

The boy shrugged. ‘I don’t get cold easily. I don’t know why.’

The frown shifted into a content smile and Julie snuggled into him more, arms slipping around his waist. ‘You’re like an oven.’

His feet began to drift left and right, like they were slow dancing in place. They somehow made it look cute and not awkward. Luke chuckled. ‘Oven?’

Julie hummed and closed her eyes. ‘You’re warm. That’s why we didn’t cuddle during the summer because you were too hot. Literally.’

Giddy, Luke dropped his head on top of hers. ‘This is a weird way of flirting, Jules.’

‘I’m not flirting.’ She tsked. ‘I’m using you.’

They snickered at their own conversation, meanwhile Nick was ready to throw a lot of lacrosse balls into the wall. Seriously?! How did they do it?! And why did Julie like how mushy he was? Didn’t that get boring? (Or rather: wasn’t it scary how involved they were? Nick liked Julie, but he would’ve definitely taken it slower then they were.) 

They held onto each other until the bell rang, Julie grabbing her books and tucking herself into his side as they walked to first period. Nick trailed ten steps behind them, trying very hard not to roll his eyes. 

The rest of the day, Julie clung onto Luke who happily went along with it. It wasn’t like Nick was deliberately torturing himself by staying close, but most classes overlapped and they had the same lunch hours - it was kind of inevitable. Though one could label Luke as the “touchy” one, that day it was reversed and the dude was taking _everything_ out of it.

‘Can you go to a college in New York instead so we have long winters like this?’, Luke joked a little too loud during audiovisual class and therefore reaching Nick’s unlucky ears. 

Julie made a face. ‘No. I’d rather have a heat wave than another day of _this.’_

He peered down at her, mischievous. ‘Nah, I don’t think that’s true.’ 

Bumping her knee against his in retaliation under the desk, the two resumed following class as if they didn’t just put on a major show. Nick remembered the way Carrie used to love that, and it made him realise that maybe Julie and her weren’t so different after all. 

(So if Julie was similar to Carrie and he didn’t like Carrie, did he even like Julie then?) 

The last time he saw them that day was in the parking lot. Which was unfortunate, cause the parking lot meant they were off school grounds and that defacto meant they would be kissing. Which they were. Against the side of Julie’s car, Luke had put her beanie on her head and his jacket was open, her arms wrapped around his sweater. _Awesome._

Jordan slapped his shoulder with a grin. ‘Come on, homie. Only way to get over her is by _not_ staring.’ 

‘Yeah,’ he sighed, following his lacrosse buddy. ‘Since when do girls like clinginess?’

The boy shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Love is weird, I guess.’

Huh. _Love._ He hadn’t thought of that. Frankly, Nick didn’t think people could be in love in high school. Then again, he knew Alex and Willie were still going strong even with the latter in college now. High school sweethearts always seemed like something out of a movie, that he never paused to realise that maybe it held some truth. 

He glanced over his shoulder and watched as Luke cradled her face so giddily, so _endearingly,_ that Jordan must be right.

In love. Maybe that was the final thing he needed to hear to truly move on. 

> **KAYLA**

If it weren’t for the fact she was close friends with Carrie and part of Dirty Candy, she’d probably be part of the “juke” group chat with Flynn’s clique. 

Though Carrie was perceived as the popular one of the group as the lead singer, Kayla was actually very well-liked by most kids of their year. She was friends with almost everyone to some degree, including Alex, Flynn and Reggie. Julie too, but she has been so wrapped up with Luke and the band that that relationship has kind of watered down. Still, Kayla found them pretty adorable and definitely voted for them as Cutest Couple last year and this year. 

During one of the many house parties she attended, Reggie and Flynn drunkenly told her they had a separate group chat where they either gushed, spilled their grievances or made memes about the lovesick couple. “We love them so it’s fine,” Flynn had argued when Kayla pulled a questionable face. Reggie nodded glassy-eyed. “It’s like, preparation for their bachelor/bachelorette parties in like ten years.”

But now, every time she saw Julie and Luke together, that was _all_ she could think about. Damn it, she wanted to be part of that group chat! 

Like when they were in homeroom and Julie was absentmindedly “playing” the piano on his open palm, or when he mirrored a face she made, or when they unabashedly made out in the parking lot because they were horny seniors. All she could think of was that fucking group chat and the killer memes she would make about them. It was just too easy! A pic of them kissing next to a pic of kissing gouramis was such an open shot and it honestly drove her wild that she didn’t know what gems the others were creating about them. 

Kayla caved by January. Cornering Reggie in the cafeteria with all the bravado she had, she said: ‘I know about the “juke” group chat.’

He blinked, mouth agape. ‘Wha-? How?’

She smiled. ‘You and Flynn told me at a party a few months ago.’

‘Was I drunk?’

‘Most definitely.’

Reg clicked his tongue. ‘Makes sense. Why’re you telling me now?’

The smile grew to an excited grin, leaning closer as if to impart a secret. ‘I want in. I see them _all the time_ and I have so many good meme ideas!’

The excitement rubbed off on him, tapping the phone in her hands. ‘Show me! We’ve been honestly so dry this past week.’ His eyes widened. ‘Don’t tell ‘em I said that.’

Kayla shrugged and went to her camera roll. She made the fish one a few weeks ago, subconsciously preparing for this moment of… initiation? God, high school was so intense sometimes. 

Reggie laughed. ‘Yup. Approved. This is awesome. I need you to start the waterfall again.’ He pressed his hands on her shoulders. _‘Very_ important mission.’

If he was genuinely serious, Kayla didn’t know. Reggie was kind of a mystery to her, whether he was truly aloof or ridiculously smart in actuality. Maybe both. Whatever. He could play the bass and that was pretty cute. 

And so it began. Kayla got added - nickname: Purple Wiggy - and was showered with over the top greetings by the others. The rules were simple: memes had to be funny and not too vicious, and complaints or annoyances had to have some constructive criticism attached. Not a bully group, merely “an outlet for all that cutesy crap they pull”, Alex stated, which Willie and Flynn hearted. Then Kayla flooded the chat with all the memes she had been sitting on and was officially part of the group. 

Like when Julie clung onto him during the blizzard, she made a meme where she compared them to Siamese twins. Or when they accidentally matched outfits, she made a “they’re the same picture” meme. It was fun to be part of something like this, especially since it slowly began to extend into real life, where she sometimes sat with them during lunch instead of with Dirty Candy. Not like she hated Carrie or the other girls, but it was nice to talk about something else for once. (The chat wasn’t _solely_ about “juke”, obviously. They weren’t obsessed. Just last night she and Flynn had a full on fight about which Winx Club girl was the best.) 

Spring rolled around when something took her so off guard she kind of began to think the group chat was perhaps a little… childish. 

It was a random Tuesday morning when Kayla passed Julie’s locker, slowing down when she noticed the glinting piece of metal on her finger. 

‘Hey, Julie,’ she greeted. 

The girl turned around, smiling. ‘Hey, Kayla. What’s up?’

‘Oh, nothing. Just wanted to say that I like the ring you’re wearing.’ 

She frowned. ‘Ring? What do-’ Her gaze fell down to her hand, words freezing on her tongue. A light blush bloomed on her cheekbones. ‘Right,’ she breathed. ‘It’s, uh, Luke’s actually. I stole it yesterday and I forgot I was, uh, wearing it.’

Kayla was surprised. ‘Oh!’

‘Yeah,’ she stumbled. ‘It’s… it’s whatever.’

It wasn’t whatever though. And it seemed like both knew that. At the end of the hallway, Luke came into view. Kayla focused back on Julie. ‘See you in class.’

‘Yeah…’

Just as Kayla turned around and continued her walk to class, she heard how Luke reached Julie and said “good morning”. Though the ring was simple, it struck her deep. Julie _stole_ one of Luke’s rings and _forgot_ she was wearing it. She forgot - that bulky, ostentatious thing that Kayla immediately noticed upon first glance. It felt like some weird foresight thing, like she just looked into the future and saw exactly how Luke and Julie’s future would map out. Freaky as hell. 

She went to the group chat.

**_Purple Wiggy made a poll:_ ** **when will ✨juke✨ get engaged?** **  
****\- right out of hs** **  
****\- right out of college** **  
****\- during college** **  
****\- mid-twenties** **  
****\- never**

**_skating is my personality_ **

**???? intense??? poll???  
** ** willie chose: during college**

**_the real double trouble_ **

**** **ffs what did julie do** **  
**** flynn chose: mid-twenties**

**_weed is my personality ft. drums_ **

**** **lmao istg they NEVER STOPPPP I BET LUKE SAID SOMETHING LUKE SAID** **  
****SOMETHING DIDN’T HE??** **  
**** alex chose: right out of hs**

**_get this mans a puppy 2k21_ **

**my juke heart is SOARING RIGHT NOW** **  
** **reggie chose: during college**

**_Purple Wiggy_ **

**julies wearing his ring…… like….. major proposal vibes** **  
** **kayla chose: right out of college**

**_the real double trouble_ **

**oh boy**

**_weed is my personality ft. drums_ **

**** **awesome. fucking awesome. luke will be unmanageable today** **  
****FLYNN YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REIN JULIE IN????**

**_the real double trouble_ **

**FIRST OF ALL WE DONT “REIN WOMEN” IN YOU ASSHOLE** **  
****and i tried lol its hopeless dude**

**_get this mans a puppy 2k21_ **

**aww thats so cute its like a promise ring**

**_skating is my personality_ **

**def not a purity ring thats for sure lol**

**_Purple Wiggy_ **

**gross. dont make me think about that before 1st period** **  
****♡ by flynn, reggie, alex!**

**_skating is my personality_ **

**oops sorry!!**

**_the real double trouble_ **

**imma just keep julie from getting hitched right out of hs like that is all i beg of them**

**_Purple Wiggy_ **

**__ **

**♡ by everyone!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kayla's part most definitely based on the time me and my friends created a separate meme group chat to make fun of an fwb/couple we knew - all light-hearted!
> 
> also let's fight the best winx club character was aisha/layla AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL


	20. senior year of high school - part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke is keeping secrets and Julie's not having it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by last night's work 👀👀👀👀 because OOF.

> **JULIE**

Luke was hiding something and it was driving her insane. 

It wasn’t like she needed to know everything or that he couldn’t have his own stuff going on, but that was just it: he shared  _ everything  _ with her. Sometimes even too much! Just last week he told her he accidentally on purpose ate Ben & Jerry’s with Reggie and was doubled over the toilet for an hour. Julie had no reason to know that - she’d rather have him never talk about his bowel movements at all - but he did. 

So him _ hiding?  _ It either meant murder or something was bothering him that had to do with  _ her.  _ She didn’t know which was worse. 

(Intellectually, yes. Emotionally, no.)

And as she was a teenager allowed to be more emotional than intelligent, she dug herself a hole and tried finding out. 

Julie sidled up to his locker, worming her way under his arm and reaching up to peck his jaw. Luke looked down, amused. ‘Hello to you too.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘You can surprise me at my locker every morning but I can’t do an afternoon sneak attack?’

His eyes flitted past her to check on teachers and then pulled her into a real kiss, one that made her sigh and melt and almost forget something was off. 

‘My  _ afternoon  _ is pretty dope now,’ he whispered, tucking her back in his side as she began talking about one of the songs they’ve been working on. Nothing inside his locker raised suspicion. No contraband items or mysterious notes or- or anything! Julie didn’t know what she had been hoping for, but it wasn’t a half-eaten sandwich and some crumpled Spanish tests. 

Julie pouted. Was she just seeing things? But she could’ve sworn she saw the way his eyes had widened with alarm when she came into the studio the other day, flinging his phone on the table and earning the Exasperated Look of Alex. Which he only gave if people were acting a special kind of stupid. 

God, it wasn’t like he was cheating on her! She just needed to know what she was kept out of the loop for! A hint was all she needed! 

Pressing herself deeper into his side, his hand found a way around her waist. She stared up a him (anything? could she read his mind? were they there yet?) and watched as his amusement morphed into something softer. ‘I don’t know if you’re trying to seduce me for later or-’

She held her hand up. ‘I don’t need to “seduce” you.’

‘Very true.’

‘Can’t I just-’ She shrugged. ‘-Be with you? I feel like we haven’t talked in a while.’

Maybe it was the way she said it or the way she looked at him or maybe  _ he  _ was the one able to read minds (which would be unfair, but also unsurprising), but she knew he caught on with the twitch of his eye. ‘Oh!’ He chuckled nervously. ‘Ha, no, yeah, what’d you- uh, what do you mean?’ 

‘Luke-’

He slammed his locker shut and bounced away from her, a manic smile on his lips as he threw a hand in the air. ‘Hasta luego!’

Dumbfounded, a slack-jawed Julie watched him go. What the hell? ‘Asshole!’, she yelled a beat later.

‘Only for you, Jules!’, he yelled back, a few onlookers cooing at the exchange. Julie pulled a face. They thought that was cute? Luke just shrugged her off like she was a bomb and he chose the wrong cord to cut! Ugh - his words weren’t even true. He stole a handful of Reggie’s fries just two days ago. 

He was waiting on her in the parking lot after school, one hand in his pocket as the other absentmindedly tapped on his phone. Even when peeved, she couldn’t help but think he looked cute. She should compliment his henley’s more and hope that would have a Pavlovian effect or something. 

‘Hey,’ she said. 

He looked up and pocketed his phone. ‘Hey.’ His smile was unsure. ‘Are you mad?’

‘No.’ That wasn’t even a lie. Luke had to do something far worse to actually make her mad; like, ditch her on a date or a gig. ‘I just didn’t think I looked so scary today that you had to _ flee.’  _

Luke rolled his eyes and drew her closer by the waist, her easily finding the slope of his neck. ‘Maybe I fled because you’re just  _ too  _ Julie today. Kinda unfair if you already made me lose it before fifth period.’

‘That’s cheesy.’

He hummed, edging nearer. ‘It’s true though.’

‘You’re a cliché,’ she bit back. 

His smile became dangerous. ‘You like it.’

Dang it. Giving in, she kissed him fully, better than those quick, sneaky ones in the hallway where the excitement came from the possibility of being caught and not from the other’s touch. She remembered being a freshman and waiting for dad to come pick her up and making a face at the upperclassmen sucking faces in the lot. Now she was one of them and it almost made her laugh mid-kiss at the memory. If only little Julie knew how fucking lost she’d be for a boy. The sun beat down on them, except all she felt was that giddy burn in the pit of her stomach singing the same tune since last year. _ I’m in love, in love, in love.  _

‘Do you like me enough to let me know what you’re hiding?’, she breathed against his lips, brows quirked when he flatly stared back. 

‘I’m not hiding anything, Julie,’ he soothed, swiping her cheek. The smirk returned. ‘Are you trying to lure stuff out of me with  _ intimacy?’ _

‘The coup made for and by women.’

Luke laughed at her quip, though the quip was more of a nudge for him to admit defeat and tell her and  _ not  _ just something for him to laugh at. He didn’t. What could be so bad she couldn’t know? Or that the guys hadn’t spoiled either? It couldn’t be this grandiose date because they always decided together what to do, neither big on being surprised like that. (She liked to dress accordingly and he had to figure out in advance how to best approach his parents every time he went out. Very different problems, but the sentiment remained.) 

He stepped out their embrace and let her unlock the car, hopping into the passenger seat. ‘I found this amazing song during class that you’re gonna  _ love. _ The drums are insane and it’s in this lower register that-'

Julie tuned him out, nodding and smiling as she drove out of the parking lot and made the right comments as he plugged his phone in and played the song. She hated it when she tuned him out (a trick she learned after her mom passed away), but she was honestly really bothered at the moment. Luke was allowed to have secrets, but then he shouldn’t wave them in front of her face like some red matador cape. Gah! Maybe she should just teach him a lesson in subtlety or something!  _ How to not drive your girlfriend insane while blatantly hiding stuff 101.  _ Fingers tapped against the steering wheel, antsy. He wasn’t… actually hiding something terrible right? He wouldn’t do that. No, of course he wouldn’t. Luke was too good for that. He has proven her time and time again he was as loving and devoted a boyfriend could ever be. She had nothing to worry about, right? Right. 

Totally not freaking out.

Rehearsal went well. They had a set this weekend and were playing a few new songs that needed some tweaking and polishing. Luke was balancing his book on his knee, guitar hanging around him, as he scribbled.

‘Uh, so-’

Julie took it over from him, her elegant scrawl amidst the chicken scratch. ‘Before you impale yourself with your guitar,’ she teased. 

Alex twirled his drum sticks. ‘Yeah, the drums are just off. I’m not meshing with you guys.’

‘Yeah,’ Julie muttered, crossing out keys and writing down better ones. Flipping the book to Alex, she asked: ‘Would this work better?’

His eyes glittered with excitement. ‘This is way more rock than pop, Julie.’

Reggie and Luke went and looked over her shoulder at Alex’s comment, peering at the new annotations she made. Reg tapped the paper, thrilled.

‘I like this! Maybe we can even get this line syncopated to make it pop!’

Energy pumped in her veins, always so jittery and happy when they were figuring out a song together and it just clicked into place. Creating music would forever be her passion. 

‘That reminds me!’ Luke plucked the book from her hands and began scouring for a page. ‘I have some lyrics that might work.’

As he searched, Julie eyed a content Reggie tapping out random notes. Julie leaned closer, placing her arm on his shoulder and whispering in his ear: ‘Do you know what he’s hiding?’

Reg grinned like her voice wasn’t tinged with desperation and bumped her hip. ‘Nothing bad.’

‘But he is.’

‘Because he can’t hide for shit.'

Luke looked up. ‘Hm?’

The bassist waved him off. ‘Nothing, Rulie stuff. Whatcha got?’

Alex stopped playing with his sticks and stared at Reggie like he grew another head. ‘Did you just… blend your name and Julie’s?’

‘It’s quicker!’

‘It’s fucking depressing, that’s what.’

‘Boys,’ Luke laughed. ‘Come on, this is good.’

The song shifted into the stadium of perfection by the time Alex and Reggie left, lyrics in place and most of the instrumentals right. It was a lot harder and required more technique than usual, but Julie liked the challenge. They had to raise the bar somehow, right? 

Luke and her were silently cleaning up the studio (it always got so messy when they ordered food as it perpetually ended with someone chucking naan or California rolls into someone’s face), the soft hum of the stereo filling the empty space.

‘I like the new lyrics,’ Julie quipped. 

‘Yeah?’

Emboldened by what he said to her today, about her being  _ too  _ Julie, she continued: ‘What  _ do  _ we do when there are no distractions anymore?’ A coy expression crossed her face. No, she didn’t have to seduce him. It also sounded weird to use the term “seduction” since they were literal seniors in high school and no femme fatale or macho dude, but hey - it was fun to try anyway. 

(And it worked. Because she was Julie and he was Luke and he was comfortable enough with himself to tell her she drove him insane.)

His lips snuck onto hers before her words drifted too far, hands on her back and cheek and stumbling towards the couch. 

She giggled when she fell. ‘Let’s hope my dad doesn’t walk in again.’

‘Let’s not talk about your dad right now,’ he whispered, breath on her neck. 

His henley brushed from his neck. ‘Good idea.’

(She didn’t know if she imagined it or not (because sure, she has fantasised about it), but she could’ve sworn he mumbled “hermosa” against her skin. So softly, almost inaudible, like he was afraid to even say it. Or had it just been her overactive mind playing out a fantasy to add to the moment? Afterwards, when they heard Victoria’s car roll up the driveway and they knew they had to stop because she  _ would  _ walk in and find them, she didn’t have the guts to ask him.) 

‘Mija!’, Victoria cheered when her and Luke walked in from the kitchen doors. ‘Luke! I made carne guisada con arroz! You’re staying for dinner?’

‘Uh,’ Luke trailed, eyes falling on Julie. Despite more than a year of dating, he was still unsure whether he was allowed to sit with them at the dinner table. Hanging with Carlos? No problem. Family dinner? A major risk. Maybe she should talk to him about it on another day. It wasn’t like she would be able to fix years of the strain between the Patterson’s, but she hated it when he looked so forlorn. 

‘Yes,’ Julie said for him, grabbing his hand. ‘He’s staying for dinner.’

The table was a flurry of laughter, jokes, anecdotes and waves of Spanish mixed with flailing hands as they mixed it up with English in an attempt to include Luke. It didn’t seem to bother him though, a soft smile stuck to his lips as he ate and darted his eyes back and forth when Victoria and Carlos were in a heated debate. The Spanish went so fast that Julie inconspicuously tapped his knee.

She cocked her head, the question there. 

He shook his head with a smile. Alright then. If he wasn’t feeling left out… Then a sudden chuckle erupted from his chest at something Carlos exclaimed, catching everyone by surprise. 

Gawking, Carlos said: ‘You were following?’

Luke grinned. ‘I’m here enough to pick up a thing or two.’

Oh, God. Her heart was _ melting.  _ She never expected him to know Spanish or to speak it or to even try and understand. Everyone in her family spoke English and those that didn’t lived in Mexico and Puerto Rico, no one he’d regularly have to see. But he’s picked stuff up. Maybe subconsciously… still; It meant a lot to her. 

Carlos shot her a look. ‘We can’t gossip about him anymore, Julie. What do we do now?’

The boy’s jaw fell slack. ‘You  _ gossip  _ about me?’

Ray was unfazed. ‘You didn’t notice we always use cabrón and calaca around you?’

Julie squeaked out a retort. ‘Uh!  _ Used  _ to! You  _ used  _ to say cabrón before you actually knew him!’

‘What does that mean?’, he whispered in her ear. 

‘Player, mijo,’ Victoria replied, too upbeat. At least she used somewhat of a euphemism. ‘But now we know our little girl has good judgement.’

Colour drained from his face in mortification. ‘Player?!’, he exclaimed. ‘Why “player”?’

They all made a non-committal sound, vaguely waving in his direction as if to say  _ it’s the everything about you.  _ Luke pouted and shot Julie a mischievous look. ‘This is objectification.’

The girl laughed and squeezed his knee again. ‘It was preservation.’

‘And now we know you’re super uncool when it comes to my sister,’ Carlos quipped in Spanish, rolling his eyes. ‘You’ve upgraded to conejito.’ 

It didn’t help Luke, his face once more slammed with astonishment. ‘I’m a  _ bunny?!’ _

‘A little one,’ Ray commented lightly, earning a snicker from tía. 

Julie was thoroughly confused. This wasn’t just him “picking up” stuff anymore, these were actual threads of conversations and slang terms he was comprehending. ‘Okay, how do you  _ know  _ all that?’

Luke’s gutted stare went from Ray to Julie, softening when he saw the look on her face. Sheepish, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and swiped to the third page. Sliding it towards her, the frown deepened. 

‘I don’t get it.’

But then he pointed at one of the familiar apps and it all made sense.

(If her heart melted before, it was a puddle now. She was one mess of emotions over this simple, yet thoughtful thing he did. A mess when he did anything, really. Luke’s love language was touch, but sometimes he acted on those feelings a little differently and it just made her love him harder, more, each time. She sometimes wondered if there was an end to the falling, or if he’d just keep surprising her and the rush in her stomach would never fade.)

He downloaded Duolingo. 

Her voice was unbelievably soft, a tone she’d rather not have her family experience, but Luke had overwhelmed her. ‘You’re learning Spanish for me?’

His face matched her tone, timid and adoring, and shrugged. ‘Yeah.’

(Oh my God. He did call her “hermosa”. She hadn’t been dreaming. Oh, shit. Oh fuck, she was in _ trouble.)  _

Her hand slipped in his. ‘Why did you hide it?’

His thumb caressed her knuckles, only for her to see and feel. ‘Cause you’d tell me it isn’t necessary.’

‘Dad,’ Carlos whined, ‘they’re being mushy again.’

‘Hush!’, tía scolded, leaning her head on her hand with a dreamy sigh. ‘This is better than my telenovelas.’

They went back to eating the stew, but their hands stayed intertwined on her lap. Her body was singing the tune again. _ I’m in love, in love, in love, in love.  _

All day, she had been mulling over his secrecy with the craziest of theories and the most elaborate plans to get it out of him, yet all he has been doing was try to love her, understand her, even better. Who knew how long he’s been practising? Her mind was unable to fathom his gesture. It was too much. He was the one being  _ too  _ Luke today. 

Giddy ideas flashed behind her eyes. Them gossiping about other people in the room, singing in Spanish together, Spanish pet names thrown around spontaneously, travelling together and not having to translate, him meeting her other family members and fitting in perfectly. 

(He wanted in. Oh my God, he was all in.  _ He loved her, loved her, loved her.) _

When later that night she dropped him off at home, she grabbed his hand before he could step out. ‘You’re going to kill me one day, Luke.’

He grinned, too smug. ‘Only for you, Jules.’

Meeting his gaze, she held it. ‘I love you.’

His own expression softened and leaned forward to softly kiss her lips. ‘I love you too…  _ hermosa.’ _

  
  
  


(Oh, a death by a thousand kisses was so sweet sometimes.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song they're creating with the band is "trip switch" by nothing but thieves because they're amazing and the song is lowkey sexy OOPS


	21. junior year of high school - part five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke's not having it. (Neither is Julie.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter inspired this one. There's something to be said about grand gestures coming only from one side. 
> 
> edited | tumblr @lydias--stiles

> **LUKE**

Today has been shit. He woke up late, he didn’t have time to go to Julie’s locker and hug her a good morning, he got a bad grade on a test and probably flunked a new one, it was raining, Julie has been on edge for some reason, and to top it all off: Nick was _particularly_ clingy today. That fucking guy really had no clue, did he? Why didn’t he just back off? It was May, Julie and him have been together for months and steadily so - why the fuck could he not let his stupid crush go and look at other girls? 

So yeah, today has been shit. It didn’t help that the guys weren’t there as a buffer as they haven’t planned a rehearsal. It was just Julie and him in the studio that day, trying (and failing) to write something. She was sighing every few seconds, he was getting ticked off every time she did, and the rain was incessantly beating against the roof. 

Sigh. Slamming rain. Sigh. 

Argh! Nick really tested his patience this afternoon. Luke had been waiting for Julie in the cafeteria, only half-listening to what his friends were saying, when he went out to look for her. He hadn’t been worried, but… curious, he reckoned? Boyfriend instinct? Whatever. It was good that he did, because there they were: Nick leaning against one of the lockers as he was talking to an invested Julie. And Luke knew he hadn’t been subtle when he came up to them and tucked Julie under his arm with a smile he so often saw Carrie pulling. But Nick had to learn. Julie was _Luke’s_ girlfriend.

Sigh. Slamming rain. Sigh. 

He shifted closer to her on the couch and touched her wrist. ‘What’s wro-?’

Julie ripped it back, moving all the way to the edge of the couch with a huff. ‘Luke! Can you just- not?’

Her outburst surprised him. Her constant sighing was because of him? ‘What?’

She rolled her eyes with a sneer. ‘You know what.’

'No,’ he gritted, crossing his arms defensively. His chest clenched up, anger flickering beneath his skin. He didn’t like where this was going. ‘I don't actually. What's wrong?'

A disbelieving laugh left her lips, bitter. Julie stood up and went to stand on the other side of the coffee table. Not liking how she suddenly gained height on him, he stood up as well. The table felt like a trench - who would cross the mud first and shoot the shot?

‘Just now! At school!’, she yelled. ‘I was talking with Nick and- that! The face you're making!’ Her finger trembled as she pointed. ‘You get jealous all the time!'

It was about his move from before? She was mad about him doing the right thing? Luke scoffed. ‘I’m not jealous!’

‘But you are!’ Her arms fell back to her sides, clenched. ‘And I don't get why, because I'm _pretty sure_ I'm dating _you.'_

So they were having this conversation, huh? Fine. He’d take the bait. Nothing about this day seems to make a whole lot of fucking sense anyway. 

He clicked his tongue. ‘So what if I'm jealous? Huh? I have the _right_ to be!’ He moved around the table towards her. ‘He's all over you all the fucking time!’

She didn’t move away when he got in her face, instead pressed her hand in his chest and looked at him like he has gone insane, which only infuriated him even more. _‘Nick’s_ all over me? I'm with _you_ all the time!’

It didn’t feel like that though. That infuriating sensation boiled over into everything he’d been pressing down for the last months. His insecurities, his annoyances, his fears, every bitten-down word - and now _she_ was the one complaining? When he has done nothing but try and be a good boyfriend? 

‘Why’re you even mad about this?’, he spouted, ignoring her argument. ‘You’re mad that… I _care?_ That makes zero sense.’

A exasperated puff tumbled out with her choked words. ‘I’m _mad_ because it makes me feel like you don't trust me!'

Where the fuck did she get that? ‘I don't trust him! _Him!’,_ he hissed. ‘I'm fucking scared to get sick one day and for him to swoop you up under the guise of being "a good friend"!’

She rolled her eyes with a groan. 'Luke! Just stop! You’re being-’

‘What?’ His glare could cut, hers just as intense. ‘I’m being _what?’_

‘Suffocating! You’re suffocating me!’, she screamed, so guttural like it had been waiting to pop from her lungs. 

Luke stumbled back, every syllable a punch in the stomach. She has been thinking this for a while, he realised. He suffocated her? When he was the one-? Fuck it. Her exclaim emboldened his own fury. She wanted to complain about what a bad boyfriend he was? Luke could do the _exact same_ about her. 

‘You know what? Fine. You wanna talk about how fucking horrible I am?’ A sardonic grin twisted his face. ‘Here's _my_ problem: you're not as into this as I am.’

She frowned, pausing. ‘What do you mean?’

He didn’t know what hurt more. Her confusion or the fact that she didn’t even argue when he called himself horrible. 

Luke began counting fingers. ‘I'm always the one reaching out, always the one coming to _you,_ trying _for you._ I'm _actively_ trying to make this relationship work and I’m not getting anything in return!'

Her jaw fell slack, astounded. ‘You think I'm not _invested_ in our relationship?’

His jaw clenched, aware that whatever he said next would be a low, yet truthful, blow. His biggest insecurity out in the open with ardent frustration. ‘I think that you don’t like me as much as I like you.’ Her shoulders dropped, surprised. Luke gulped, unsure whether to scream or cry. ‘And I have a gut feeling that’s true.’

He didn’t know what he had hoped for. A pause? A white flag? An olive branch? Not a scoff and a snarl, that was certain. It was as if his own frustration seeped into her body. 

‘Well, _sorry_ that I'm not ripping your clothes off in the hallway!’ But then he saw it, that uncertain flicker in her eye. ‘Is that it? Am I making you wait too long?’

Reaching forward again, his mind was flailing to find the connection between wanting to feel loved by her and shagging. ‘You know it's not about the sex! We talked about this!’

‘Months ago!’, she yelled. ‘Maybe you've changed your mind!’

‘I haven't! And don't change the subject!’ It was as if they were magnets, the poles pushing and pulling them together. This time, he got back in her bubble, though it rather felt like a ring of fire. ‘It's about _you_ putting in less effort!’

Tears sprung in her eyes and he knew that wasn’t fair. ‘It's about you being a jealous asshole!’

The insult dropped between them like a heavy weight, her shiny eyes widening in surprise and his heart shifting cold. Luke was numb. ‘I'm an asshole too?’ He laughed, dumping his hands in his pockets. ‘Awesome. Yeah, I thought you _liked_ that. You liked it the first time I intervened.’

The memory of her giddy eyes peering from his chest as he held her close, giggling, saying that she’d get jealous too if a girl came up to him. She said that, genuinely, and he believed her because he thought that was what he was supposed to do. Fucking fool. 

His opinion deepened the grimace etched in her cheeks. ‘We were dating for not even two months. _Of course,_ I thought it was cute! We were, like, honeymooning over each other!’ 

Honeymooning? He was halfway in love with her by then!

‘So what’s with this fucking epiphany then?!’, he yelled, throwing his arms in the air. The feeling of trucking through the trenched closed around his breath, every shout a barely missed bullet. ‘Now you realise you don't like me at all?!’ 

‘Luke! I _do!’_ Her voice broke, anger and sorrow swirling together. He suppressed the urge to grab her hand. This was exactly his problem. ‘I don't know what gave you the impression that I didn’t!’ 

‘Because I’m not getting my own needs met! And I’m not talking about sex! Just… touch in general.’ Finally. Luke has tried to suppress that need to accommodate her own, but he couldn’t do it anymore. She had to know and if she didn’t get that, then… (Oh man, he wasn’t ready to think of that yet.) 

‘Touch?’ 

He nodded, voice levelled. ‘I’m always the one grabbing your hand.’

Her incredulous expression threw that levelled tone out the window. ‘Is… is that what you’re angry about? You want me to grab yours?’

Scoffing, he blurted: ‘For example!’ 

‘Is this a possessive streak or something?’ All the previous turmoil disappeared and switched with prideful malice. ‘I need to be closer so that other guys won't talk to me anymore?’ 

That was what she got from his confession? From his _insecurity?_ ‘Jesus, Jules! I'm not possessive!’ 

Her finger pressed back into his body, him slapping it away. He didn’t need this type of contact. ‘You. Are.’ Her words were gritted. ‘Don't even try to deny it! If you weren't, you’d let me handle Nick - or any guy - myself.’

The flaring anger began to dwindle, that coldness, numbness from before seeping in veins and blood and marrow. They were both in the trenches now, eye to eye, yet blind. Why wasn’t he enough? Why wasn’t she enough?

His voice was hoarse. ‘If I can’t protect you, then what’s the point of me being your boyfriend?’ 

Something in her stance mellowed as well, swallowing whatever venom was on her tongue. Her tone was softer. ‘Luke, this is not some John Hughes rom-com. This is not Cinderella. You don’t have to prove you’re a man by “saving” me.’

Maybe so, but she wasn’t listening either. He stepped closer, eyes locked and firm. ‘I’m asking you again: what's the _point_ of being your boyfriend if I can’t be there for you the way you want me to, and you’re not even understanding me when I tell you I need, _want,_ more of you?’ 

His serious question, loaded with unsaid implications, brought her closer too. ‘But I _do_ want you.’

Luke shook his head. ‘Doesn’t seem like that to me.’

Silence fell. They were out of bullets. The rain was still slamming onto the roof of the studio; Nothing has changed. They’ve just become uglier to one another. Luke wanted to go back to september when he met her and not have his heart in the palm of her hand the second she smiled. She sang and her smile had been so sunny and wide when he complimented her and that had been enough to tip him over the edge. To make him drown in the depths of Julie without a life vest and now here they were. Alex was right: being a teenager should come with a manual.

(Why did they allow themselves to get so close? What was the point of anything if this was the end result? How could they continue from this?) (Could he love someone else? Or had he been infatuated and was the giddiness in his chest just hormones and high school bullshit?) (But if he did feel love for her, then that hasn’t disappeared. And he knew it was love. He hadn’t felt this before until she fell in his orbit and the axis in which he turned finally felt balanced.) (He wasn’t ready to say goodbye.) 

Julie whispered first. ‘So… now what?’ 

Luke gulped. ‘I don't know.’

‘I think you do.’ Her arms crossed in front of her, hair shadowing her cheek. ‘I’m not a good enough girlfriend. Do you wanna break up?’ 

The words buckled his knees. ‘Julie-’ 

She stepped away from his outstretched hand, shaking her head. A smile forced itself on her lips. ‘I won’t make you out as the bad guy.’

Everything was going too fast. ‘Do _you_ wanna break up?’ His eyes widened. ‘Is this you giving me an out?’

‘What? No.’ Her fingers pressed into her temples as if she was nursing a migraine. ‘I don't wanna break up.' 

'Neither do I!', he yelled. 

Aggravation laced her voice. ‘Then I don't know what to do either, Luke!’

The erratic thought of _saving this,_ being the life vest himself, spurred him towards her. How could they understand each other better? How could he explain it better? ‘You’re not- Julie, you _are_ a good girlfriend. I just need _more_ from your side. Like, I just feel better when I'm in contact with people.' To stress his point, he softly took hold of her hands. She didn’t pull away this time. 

The girl sighed. ‘And _I_ need you to trust me more.’

And then the other insecurities poured out anyway. ‘I think that I… come in between because deep down I know you deserve better. That I don't deserve you.’

It was as if he dropped a bomb, her hands clenching around his as if to stabilise herself. _‘What?_ Even when you feel like I don’t give enough, you think _you_ don’t deserve me? That doesn’t… Luke, that doesn’t make sense and it’s _certainly_ not true.’ 

‘That's how I feel though’, he muttered with a shrug. ‘Can't change that.’

‘But you should,’ she pressed. ‘You’re an amazing boyfriend and musician and friend.'

His hands brushed up her arms, his chest tinged with a sliver of relief at her words. ‘But jealous?’

A smile quirked on her lips. ‘A little.’

Three beats of quiet. Slamming rain. Them gripping onto each other, softly (confidently), not ready to let go. Luke didn’t know whether he wanted to keep arguing or hug her or kiss her or cry. He was sure of his feelings though - that he loved her (even if he was young and dumb) and that he wanted to keep looking at her. _Don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go._

‘I’m sorry,’ they said simultaneously. 

‘I am,’ she rushed, letting her hands find the slope of his neck and weave her fingers through the tips of his hair. ‘I am. You’re right. I- I don’t give as much as you do, and I see that now, it’s just because you’re so comfortable with that and I guess I just let it happen to me and not make an effort for you.’

‘Jules, _I’m_ sorry for making you feel like I don’t trust you.’ He hoped she heard that every word was drenched with confidence and love and certainty. ‘Because I do, I _really_ do, and I shouldn’t be a asshole about it. And you _do_ make an effort-’

She shook her head. ‘Not enough.’

‘-and maybe not enough.’ Their faces twitched, a quick respite from humour. ‘But I shouldn’t get all possessive like that. It’s just hard cause… you know.’ His thumb brushed against her cheek, fond. The depths, the magnitude, of what he felt for her couldn’t be encased by words, but it was the closest thing to describe what went through him when she looked at him. ‘I love you.’

Tears broke free, a tragic laugh blooming with it. ‘I should’ve said it first,’ she sniffed. 

He chuckled, pressing his forehead against hers and letting the tears smear on his own cheeks. ‘Say it now,’ he whispered. 

The reverent words left her lips like a quiet truth, one leaving both breathless. ‘I love you, Luke.’ Julie smiled fully. ‘And I’m going to be better at understanding you and hearing you, because I _want_ to. I want you. We’re going to figure this out.’

Luke matched her expression, nodding fervently. He liked that: figuring it out. ‘And I’ll let you kick the boy’s ass yourself unless you ask me.’

She laughed. ‘Deal.’ And then she pulled him in for a kiss. Luke felt like they’ve given each other a second chance at life, each touch resurging him with energy and passion and the visceral sensation of loving her and being loved by her. Warmth replaced the cold, like a blazing fire shrivelling any doubts he had. Like there was no rain outside, only the sun that licked at their smiles with each kiss. Both were crying, the shock of almost losing one another released.

‘I love you,’ she whispered once more. He kissed her harder, her body arched into his. 

He smirked. ‘Good thing we don’t have to disband just yet.’

She giggled. ‘Yeah. Let’s not think about the band right now though.’

‘Yeah.’ Grinning, he chastely kissed her again. ‘You’re right. I love you.’

They stood in the studio for a while. Listened to the rain outside, to their breaths, their heartbeats, how it thudded the same tune. _I’m in love, in love, in love._ And how for the first time, without the fear of missing a note. 

Luke memorised the way she looked at him, how she and love were inherently intertwined and that it was solely meant for him. He hoped she saw the same. (She did.)

They stood in the studio for a while. And after (when stars swapped the rain and Luke counted every curl and freckle), the feeling didn’t fade. 

  
  


(They wrote their first love song that night. It needed some work, but it was a start.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😈I LOVE ANGST😈AND FIGHTING😈IM BEST FRIENDS WITH A GEMINI AND IM A LIBRA ITS WHAT WE DO I CANT HELP IT😈We have literally written revenge songs together lol😈k im done😈
> 
> (I also hc that Luke is a libra and Julie an aquarius. It makes so much sense.) 
> 
> Also happy four months of Julie and The Phantoms!


	22. the summer before senior year of high school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex knows too much.

The summer between junior and senior year changed a lot of things for Julie and Luke. The most obvious one being that they finally had sex.

And yeah, Alex kind of felt like a creep even thinking about it. But _God_ \- they waited far too long.

He respected their decisions, obviously, but he also noticed how their perfectionistic needs in music extended over into their relationship, all the way to stuff they hadn't even done before. Waiting for that "perfect" moment, he assumed. It was dumb and they just became unnecessarily antsy. Willie and him had quickly realised a few months in that there was no such thing as perfect timing and to just do it when it felt right. That knowledge had unfortunately not reached Julie and Luke until that summer.

In the beginning of July, they managed to convince Ray, Emily and Mitch to let them go on a three day getaway to some cove in Southern California. One day driving there, one day of hiking, swimming, cliff diving, and one day driving back. Alex sniffed the bullshit from a mile away when he found out, simply because it was a known fact that Luke and Julie were city kids through and through. She screamed every time she saw a spider and he was confused at the mere concept of voluntarily sleeping in a tent. They didn't do nature. Until _now._

So yeah. Alex avoided the backseat of Julie's car for as long as he could after they came back.

It was obvious though; the change. It was as if a curtain slipped away and they saw each other in a whole new light. Still the same old Julie and Luke, but also not.

"Not", as in, the relationship felt more secure between them now.

Or maybe the biggest "not" was that instead of a quick kiss or hug after a gig, a mischievous Luke took her hand and pulled her into the alleyway outside of the venues. It was fucking disgusting, but at least they didn't have that weird, frantic energy around them anymore afterwards.

(The point being: Alex was less stressed because they were less stressed.)

Unfortunately, all of said disgusting details he'd rather not even think about, came to light for _everyone_ at Valerie Johnson's "End of The Summer" house party.

She lived in the Hills and had a massive house because of her producer father and actress mother, all glass and dark wood and exposed brick and quirky 70's architecture. It was awesome. Alex and the boys had been swimming and playing drinking games while Julie, Flynn and Kayla danced the night away. Everything was fine, the music fucking stellar, until the hostess decided everyone was inebriated enough for a game of "Never Have I Ever".

A dozen kids sluggishly, drunkenly followed at her proposal, though Valerie deliberately shouted in Julie and Luke's direction that "the school's Cutest Couple better fucking come forward and spill some tea!" It wasn't said with malice, but Alex also knew the hint of aggravation some felt for how seemingly picture perfect the relationship was.

The couple dropped on the floor and sagged against the front of the couch,

Julie swayed her bottle of beer around. 'This feels like a trap.'

'Lowkey voyeuristic,' Luke added.

Valerie rolled her eyes. 'Are we babies? Here's your gateway question: are you guys having sex?'

'Obviously,' Julie slurred loudly, earning an amused look from Luke. A few in the circle giggled and drank at the question.

'Then play the fucking game. Who's starting?'

Alex was far too drunk to feel second-hand embarrassment, but he did pull some grimaces when the statements became more explicit and they kept drinking, eventually Luke even staggering towards the kitchen for new drinks for them. _Jeez,_ they really took the most from this summer.

But then a bomb exploded. Because fucking obviously, people run out of basic questions and become a little too specific.

"Never have I ever done sexual roleplay based on a movie."

Two people drank. Lance, a guy notorious for hooking up with girls from other schools, and Luke. _Not_ Julie. Everyone paused, horrified.

Julie gaped at him. 'Why the _fuck_ are you drinking?'

Luke nearly choked on his beer and stared back at her, ready to die. 'Uh...!'

A high-pitched disagreeing sound erupted from her throat. 'Spit it back!'

He did it and then his mouth dove to her ear, bottle hiding his face as if anyone was still sober enough to read lips. Something shifted in Julie's expression and then, begrudgingly, brought the bottle to her lips. The group hollered the house together like their team won the Super Bowl. Alex was so done.

'He wins by a technicality!', Julie yelled, glaring at Luke's smug face.

(Years later, he'd find out that they did a quickie in Reggie's van without a condom and Luke had to pull out, which he _somehow_ registered as them roleplaying as Tommy and Sue from "Carrie". While the guy had been off in his fantasy, an anxious Julie had to take the morning-after pill just in case. Fucking idiots.)

They did a few more rounds, by then the couple so fucking drunk that they passed out reclined like that.

Reggie's vodka breath wafted in his face. 'So much new material for the group chat.'

'Ew.'

But the other "not", how they were more secure about each other, was the most visible difference. The better difference.

While junior year marked their relationship with confusion and stumbles and overall weird energy, something had softened that summer. It was as if everything they previously worried about washed away.

Gone was the mopey Luke during spring break, texting Julie non-stop because he wasn't seeing her. Gone were the passive aggressive jabs of Julie when Luke said something off-hand. He didn't know when they fixed all of that (or if it just naturally came with the longevity of the relationship), but it was a relief.

He'd walk into the studio and find them sitting on the couch writing together. Instead of a creativity-enraged brainstorm session, now more of a "yes, and..." activity. It was breathable. _Calm._ Certainly helped Alex with his anxiety because those two knew how to _rile_ him the fuck up.

The most obvious example was at Valerie's infamous party, where Julie and Luke have hardly talked all night until the game. They did their own thing; not glued at the hip like they usually were. (Sure, the way they never got enough of each other was cute too, but it was also nice to talk to Luke without Julie and vice versa. A gentle reminder that they still had separate brains.)

Then it happened. Nick Dawson, Luke's silent yet biggest enemy, made his rounds and began talking with Julie in their direct line of sight. Reggie shot Alex a look and then both anxiously at Luke. The boys were all boozed up, they had no clue what Luke would do in a state like this. He wasn't violent, obviously. It was Luke. The dude was a puppy. But when it came to Julie, every situation became important and big.

Luke looked up, saw it, crossed eyes with Julie, sighed, nodded, and went back to their game of Beer Pong.

Alex scrutinised him, trying to find shreds of drunken distress or anger. Luke laughed and dismissed him with a wave of the plastic ball.

Slapping the blonde's back, he exclaimed: 'I'm doing this thing called: "I trust you and I'm actively showing that now" and it's working in our favour.' He chucked the ball and it fell into Jordan's last cup, the trio cheering in victory.

Julie came up to them, high-fiving a Reggie that let out a Spartan war cry and kissing Luke full on the lips.

'Is your thing working?', she breathed, glassy-eyed.

He nodded gravely. 'I don't wanna punch him in the throat because I know you can punch him in the throat.'

A dazzling smile stretched across her face and giggled. 'Glad we're both doing our thing!'

Alex couldn't help but ask. This was the weirdest fucking shit he ever encountered between a couple. 'Uh, what's your "thing", Julie?'

Her peering eyes went from Luke to Alex, lagging, as if her brain was digging for the right words to use. 'We did this Buzzfeed quiz. Luke's love language is "touch", so I am listening to _his_ needs more and _not_ just think of my own.' A proud grin bloomed when she finished her slurring sentence. Patting Luke's chest exaggeratedly, she made a face at Alex. 'See? I am touching him without him having to ask!'

Though it was a joke, Luke gazed down at her so enamoured he didn't even seem drunk. His hand rested on her own, then reaching up to kiss her palm. She pouted.

'Stop one-upping me.'

Luke got in her face, giddy. 'I'm one-upping you? What're you gonna do about it?'

'That's supposed to be hot?'

'Yeah.'

She grimaced. 'You smell like beer.'

He got even closer. _'You_ smell like beer and I think it's hot.'

Julie shook her head, amused. 'Nope. Besides this house is so rich that they probably have like-' She swayed in his arms as her head lolled around the room. '-cameras or something.'

 _'Ooh,_ smart.' He pecked her lips anyway. 'Smart, hot girlfriend.'

She giggled. 'You're drunk.'

He hummed. 'You're drunk too. Jordan's loser team too. Reggie's _this_ close to asking one of the girls to hook up.'

'Uh!' She scrunched her nose. 'TMI! Reggie!' The latter was exclaimed to the boy in the black wife beater, hand flailing to touch his arm. 'None of my friends, _entendido?'_

Reg nodded. 'No fucking clue what you just said but _yes,_ I will not go up to Kayla.'

She blinked. 'I didn't specify.'

Alex sighed, exasperated these were his idiot friends (but like, lovingly), and patted a crestfallen Reggie on the shoulder. 'It's gonna be alright, buddy.'

Reggie was shaking his head as the couple went off to the kitchen. 'Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Never gonna live this one down. I'm gonna ask Valerie to play a game so they get black out drunk and forget.'

Alex shot him a flat look. 'That's the most terrible, depressing idea I've ever heard.'

'Too late!', he screeched and ran to find the girl.

God. One more year and then he could hang around Willie's friends and not die of mortification every time his band was acting fucking stupid.

(But then again, the excitement that Reggie brought to every room and the idea that true love did exist, noted by every smile shared between Julie and Luke, was part of that once in a lifetime friendship Alex would never give up. He'd love them forever.)

(Until he heard about what they did in Reggie's van. What the actual fuck.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got nostalgic about senior year of hs AND I CAVED OKAY. Its also supposed to have stuff in italics but I dropped the text in html and am too tired to change shit. So. Whatever.


	23. senior year of high school - part five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumour has it Carrie has a heart! (Rumour has it, ooh!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i?????? love carrie???? so much???? the fashion, the sass, the in-your-face bold hatred. the way i wanna see regina and carrie in a sassy showdown i- (her and i are also so alike oof. like if you mix carrie and luke = me) 
> 
> anyway - edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **CARRIE**

Before Julie and Luke became an item, she has always found him marginally attractive. Sure, was he a basic white boy - Twitter's preferred flavour of the month - with slight musical talent? Yes. But she was still a teenage girl. No seventeen year old boy was allowed to have arms like _that_ and then not expect a wandering gaze. 

But then they did get together (in two months by grossly making out on Halloween - so cliché) and all that attractiveness melted away like snow. He was too bouncy and dopey and his hair was flat and if he kept wearing those beanies, he'd be bald by twenty-five. She understood even less what they saw in each other. (Ha. Did the sex make up for lack of personality?) In the end, she compartmentalised Luke Patterson as "not worth her time and harmless towards her career" and kept it at that. Far more interesting things to mull about.

But _Jesus._ He was annoying the fuck out of her today and first period hasn't even started yet. 

If he was going to keep fidgeting like crazy, she was going to get principal Lessa cause _holy shit_ \- that boy either needed to get himself a stim toy or a new locker. She did _not_ have to deal with this.

A rushing Julie passed her by, dressed like a typical, clingy girlfriend in that red henley Luke so often wore. Maybe they made up their lack of personalities by combining them. Ha, wouldn't be too surprising. 

A saccharine smile pulled on her cheeks. 'Hey, Julie, love the-'

'Not now, Carrie,' she spat, rolling her eyes. Carrie crossed her arms in retaliation, secretly impressed at how quickly the girl shot fire. 

Julie quickened her steps when she caught sight of Luke. What happened next, Carrie hadn't expected. Forcefully, Julie turned him around, took one look at his face (which to Carrie was just a tired frown) and launched him into a crushing bear hug. It looked violent, if it wasn't for the fact that Luke was shaking and clutching onto her like he was one second away from going mental, and she was muttering strings of whispers with a tender gaze. 

It _almost_ made Carrie feel bad. 

But in that exact moment was when she knew she had the juiciest of gossip on her hands.

(No, she wasn't a sociopath. She knew this wasn't her business and that Luke was clearly in distress, but she also knew how everyone was so annoyed at how they kept their "Cutest Couple" status strong. It was a meaningless title, but art kids saw everything as a competition between themselves and the top - so yeah: people were unjustifiably annoyed and _that_ was valid.)

Julie pulled Luke in a more private alcove on the other side of the hallway, Carrie following five beats later. Inconspicuously texting while eavesdropping as she got as close as she could to their spot, the gossip met her ears.

'Hey, hey, hey,' Julie soothed, frantic. 'It's going to be alright, I promise.'

'Julie, this-' A choked laugh sprung. 'I don't know what to do anymore.'

'We'll figure it out! We'll just work harder with the band, so that-'

Luke scoffed. 'Ironic.'

'Luke-'

'Can I just go to the studio? I don't wanna be here,' he muttered, sniffing. 

Carrie looked up from her faux-texting with a frown. She had hoped the gossip would have a bit more perspective and exposition. Did they learn nothing in storyboarding class?

'The school will know you ditched and call your parents.'

'Shit...', he sighed. A foot stomped against the wall and Carrie nearly squeaked. 'Argh! Why the fuck did-?!' 

'Babe-' 

'Why did they choose? They had no reason to choose but-' his voice shook and warbled. '-but they… they did. The son they wished they had or _me_ and they chose _the first.'_

Carrie froze, her phone involuntarily clenching in her grasp. Did his parents... kick him out? 

Julie hesitated. 'I'm not making excuses for them, but you were both angry and it maybe came out without meaning to.'

'Jules, why're you defending them?' The chuckle was bitter and split. 'They don't even like you.' 

Parents that didn't like the oh-so angelic Julie Molina? That was new. This truly must be serious then. Hot guilt began to creep up Carrie's neck, something she wasn't quite familiar with. Shit. She shouldn’t be here.

Another pause. 'I know. I don't know why I- I'm sorry. You’re right.’

The unsaid implications of every word weighed down on her. This was not meant for her ears and she _certainly_ did not know the depth of the situation. But for some reason, Carrie was frozen. Her knuckles had gone white around her device. 

'It's simple. I chose music, I got cut off. They hate me. It's that simple. It's that fucking simple, Jules.' His breath cut, like someone punched him in the throat and all the vowels came out shaky and staccato. 'It's that fucking si-' 

His words stopped short, only the rustle of fabric heard. Carrie dared to take a peek and for a split second saw them entangled in a tight embrace - eyes shut and fingers digging into skin. It was far too emotional for nine AM on a Wednesday, yet nausea rose in her stomach. This wasn't gossip. Not even a rumour. A fun rumour would be to put the idea out there that Luke got her pregnant or something. It was easily debunked and cliché. It was _harmless._

 _This_ was real stuff. Carrie wasn't used to dealing with "real". 

She quickly flitted back before they saw her snooping and then, consequently, bumped into Kayla. 

'Ah!', she exclaimed, instantaneously morphing her features from troubled to indifferent and regal. 'Why did you do that?' 

Kayla blinked. 'You bumped into me.'

'Whatever,' she scoffed, steering Kayla in the other direction with a hooked arm and a commandeering voice. 'Why're you even here? Your locker is east wing.'

The frown in her friend's skin deepened. 'We always walk to art history together.'

Behind her, she heard the muffled voices of Julie and Luke reappearing in the world of the living. Carrie realised that, for a moment, it truly felt like they had created a private bubble in which they could speak about anything unbothered. If she hadn't noticed, no one would've. Quite the skill, she must admit. 

'Right,' she puffed. 'Thank you, Kayla. How's the choreography for "Did I Ask?" going?' 

As Kayla babbled about pas de bourrés and box steps, Carrie glanced over her shoulder at the couple. Luke seemed semi-composed now, though still tightly gripping Julie's hand. The girl was rubbing his chest, as if her fingers held Vicks VapoRub, and that somehow helped too. Luke cradled her into a soft kiss, uncaring if a teacher saw. 

And if anyone paid attention, one would see the shine on his cheeks. Carrie felt sick. 

The next day, she decided to snoop a little. Not to stir the pot, just... 

Alright. She was a tad worried. Just a tad. 

With her army of Dirty Candy, she paraded down the hall to Julie's locker during a bigger intermezzo of classes. 

'So,' she spit. The girl in question turned around with an unimpressed brow. 'Is your little boyfriend okay?' 

Julie scowled. 'Why do you care?' 

'I don't,' she bit back. 'I would only like to know if I have to spiritually prepare myself again for his constant fidgeting.'

Julie has never looked so disgusted. 'You know, Carrie, some people have _real_ problems going on. Why don't you look up the definition of that.' 

'Yeah.' Her smile was faker than plastic. As if Julie could _ever_ make her fumble. 'Your comebacks aren't improving, sweetie.'

Something shifted within her, eyes flashing with fury and disdain and getting into her personal bubble. Carrie willed herself to not give an inch.

Every syllable was venomous. 'If you must know, Luke will be okay because he's stronger than you'll _ever_ be. And that's not a comeback. That is a _fact.'_

And then Julie shouldered past her with a huff, the push rattling something deep inside of her. Carrie steeled her expression and hoped no surprise leaked through for even a second. Placing her hands on her hips, she turned to smile at her troupe. 

_'Jeez,_ isn't she super "holier than thou"?' 

They nodded fervently, murmuring agreements and then following their leader who was trying to hold it together. The quip about being "real" or whatever didn't even bother her. The girl wasn't oblivious: she had real problems, just different to those of Luke. Carrie had to deal with the fact that her entire high school career was a farce, the longest performance of her life, and that she was probably the product of a drunk rockstar dad and a nameless groupie. 

Those were real problems Julie would never know about, but at least Carrie had someplace to call home. At the end of the day, her father would still love her dearly. At the end of Luke's day, his parents wouldn't speak to him because of some callouses on his fingers. 

A real fucking problem. 

Why she didn’t know, but Carrie felt like she should help. It was a horrible sensation, similar to the idea of a spider crawling up your arm but it was just a tickling breeze. It made her squirm and scowl, but alas: Carrie wanted to help. Was this Rose’s karmic energy from heaven finally being bestowed onto her? Was that it? 

But what could she do? Julie hated her, she and Luke never had a proper conversation, and there was no way Julie would even allow it now after the confrontation they just had. Think - what could she do? 

(There were plenty of things Carrie applauded herself for. Talent, charisma, talent, smarts, talent, her taste in fashion, talent. But perhaps most of all: how cunning she was. A sharp eye always complimented a sharp brain.) 

What did Julie say yesterday again? “Working harder with the band”? Their songs were… okay, she supposed, but nothing to write home about. All of them were those “let’s hold hands and sing kumbaya around the firepit” with some electric guitar to make it somewhat mainstream. Then again, “Finally Free” was kind of catchy… 

She knew what she had to do.

The pink lipgloss shimmered in the bathroom lighting quite unflattering, but she knew it would photograph nicely outside in the sun. Still, her peering eyes leaned into the scratched up mirror, finger swiping on the side. She had to look perfect. Though the maroon graduation gown and cap was ruining the full fashion experience of her Prada dress, at least she looked hot in the colour. Unlike some people… (It was Felicity. Felicity from her dramaturgy class. She looked horrible in maroon. Carrie honest to God felt bad for her.)

Beyond the tile walls of the LF Arts bathroom were thousands of family members anxiously waiting to see their beloved kid graduate. Her father was somewhere in the back probably, face hidden by black shades and a Bottega Veneta leather jacket. Her mind wandered to her classmates for a second, pondering how many of their parents would actually be there as most were famous and busy. Priding herself for her dad’s presence, she almost didn’t notice how the door opened. 

Julie walked in, face illuminated by her phone and a smile edging on her lips. Carrie straightened up, subtly staring at the girl through the mirror. They haven’t talked since their little debacle, but they also haven’t been vicious with each other, so she didn’t quite know where they stood. It was the end of high school. A mark of silent camaraderie or forever frenemies?

(What did Carrie even want herself? Sometimes she let herself reminisce about the past, about a time where she was a fixed person in the Molina household and had more dinners there than at home. Where she learned to make empanadillas and danced with Julie with pink, feather boas and star-shaped sunglasses. Where the girls promised to be friends till the end of time and then “even longer.” But that was before Flynn and before Dirty Candy and before Rose died and before Julie decided to be the star of LF Arts and show off her perfect relationship with her perfect boyfriend.) 

Looking up from her phone, Julie crossed eyes with her. Both stopped moving for a second, waiting for the other to fire. Nothing happened. 

Slowly, she moved to stand next to her, a mirror apart, and placed her toiletry bag on the counter. ‘Hi,’ Julie muttered. 

Carrie bit her tongue and decided to be nice. ‘Hi.’ And then she watched for the corner of her eye how Julie grabbed a red tube of lipliner and began reapplying. Her fingers twitched. She knew she could do it better.

‘Do you need-’ The words stumped in her throat for a second, trudging forward a beat later. Carrie Wilson did not stutter. ‘-help?’

A smile edged on the girl’s lips, so small yet so recognisable. Carrie has been on the receiving end of one numerous times. An olive branch. Julie nodded and handed her the pencil. 

‘Thank you.’ She propped her face on her hand, steady. 

Carrie shrugged, chin raised. ‘Can’t have the girl look worse than the guy.’

Her smile widened, which relaxed when Carrie gave her a look and tapped the pencil against her cheek. ‘Right. Sorry.’

Silence fell again. It was nice, doing this small thing. It meant nothing, it would _never_ mean anything, but she wanted to do this one thing right. Do a final good thing before they spread their wings, so that ten years later, they’d be able to smile at each other across the room at a reunion. Like it was always supposed to be. Carrie didn’t need to be friends or enemies. She just didn’t want to leave years of history on a sour, hateful note. 

So yes. Applying lipstick it was. 

When she raffled through Julie’s bag for the accompanying red lipstick, the girl continued: ‘Thank you for showing your dad the song, I meant to say.’

Carrie’s movements froze for a moment. Not like she expected the boys of her band to think more of it, but she should’ve known Julie dug deeper than “a simple coincidence” or “a stroke of luck.” Once again, girls were better than boys in every way. 

Her icy smirk shot Julie’s way. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would I give my very busy dad your juvenile “rock” songs?’

Julie kept her smile intact, seeing right through the bravado but going along anyway. Maybe that was all they knew how to do. (Maybe Carrie liked it how she saw through it.) ‘You’re right. You wouldn’t.’

‘And if I would,’ Carrie went on unperturbed, swiping the satiny red across her lips. ‘I would take it with me to the grave.’

When she finished, Julie nodded. ‘I know. That’s why I’m saying it now. Thank you.’

Her wall began to wobble. Should she give her an inch? She hasn’t given anyone an inch since she turned fourteen - not even Nick. Was it too late to show mercy when in a few minutes, they’d be seated rows away from each other, ready to get their diploma? But then her body decided herself, her mouth stretching into something akin a genuine smile. 

‘You’re welcome, Julie.’

_(Thank God_ she redid the girl’s makeup. When she saw the couple thirty minutes later, Julie did look better than Luke. Not like Luke had to do a lot (the fact that he wasn’t wearing that ridiculous orange beanie under his cap was already such a relief), but Julie was very much above him. They looked good though, both lovesick beams on their cheeks and playing with each other’s gowns. When one went up the stage for their diploma, the other cheered so loud it made the parents laugh.)

(The two were horrible mushy at the afterparty at Valerie’s. It was cute though. Whatever.) 

(At the end of summer, she’d see on Luke’s IG story how he got himself a studio apartment and thanked the fans for streaming the songs, or else it wouldn’t have happened. Choked up, Carrie promptly unfollowed him. If there was one thing she shared with Luke, it was their cutthroat passion for music. Maybe that was why she needed to do something that one April afternoon. Maybe she saw that, behind all the confidence and bravado and smack, she and him were _exactly_ the same.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, thank you for over 20k reads on this compilation of indulgent stories. good to know that these stories where strangers (that are basically my friends re-shaped lmao) notice how fucking annoying julie and luke are, is a hit. i would like to point out more thought goes into my other stories though lmao.


	24. senior year of high school - part six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lovesick adventures of Julie and Luke - aka, Ophelia reached peak romance and won't be able to top it after this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> may i.... recommend... listening to the album "about time" by sabrina claudio - just a hint.

> **JULIE**

She didn’t know whether she wanted to kick herself or applaud herself for waiting so long. On the one hand was she really happy they waited until they were emotionally and physically ready to take such a huge step. It probably would’ve been an even more awkward first time had they done it in like, February. And yes, it was a whole feat resisting her own boyfriend when he looked like _that_ and had the personality to go along with it. On the other hand, _why the fuck had she been resisting when he looked like that?!_

(Because they cared for each other’s boundaries and loved each other - still. It was hard to imagine not doing it with him now that they ripped the band-aid off. Or, you know, the wrapper. Julie couldn’t think of better comparisons when his hands were under her sweater.)

Luke decided once more to be the perfect boyfriend and snatch her away as the bell rang, indicating the end of lunch and the start of fifth period. While they were supposed to go to music, he seemed to have other plans. She just needed to look him in the eye for a split second to know what he was thinking. 

Which is how they found themselves in the broom closet. 

‘This is cliché,’ she breathed. 

His lips went down her neck as he hummed. ‘You like it.’

She did, she did, she did. Why she thought it was smart to tell him about all her cheesy High School Musical daydreams, was still a mystery to her. He _loved_ taking advantage of it. (Or did she tell him for _this exact reason?_ Ha!)

She grabbed a hold of his face before he went lower, eyes locked. ‘We’re not doing it here though.’

He shook his head. ‘Duh. Not gonna let us get a yeast infection.’

Her smile glittered in the dark, head tilted. ‘And yet here we are.’

Silencing her words and thoughts with a searing kiss, she let herself drift off. Sometimes it was easier to indulge in the sweet lips of Luke and the excitement of possibly being caught, then think about a duster digging in her back. 

(For a split second, she remembered the time her dad told her how happy he was Luke was so respectable. With her and her boundaries and that he never did anything to raise eyebrows. Oh, man. If only her oblivious father knew.) 

She kissed his ear, a spot she recently found did quite the number on him. Like now, when a shudder went through his spine and he tightened his grip on her. 

‘Jules-’, he choked. 

‘You wanted cliché, right?’, she whispered. 

The door flew open, the bright silhouette of a gobsmacked janitor staring at them as the couple flung apart with a squeak. (Not before Luke bit on her lip from surprise and it began to bleed. Great. Now everyone would know.) They rushed out before the man stammered any words, though Luke shot a quick “sorry!” over his shoulder. 

Her finger patted against her lower lip, cringing as it pricked and stained her skin red. Luke noticed. 

‘Shit, sorry!’ 

‘It’s fine,’ she soothed, a smirk crawling onto her face instantly after. Messing with Luke might be her favourite pastime. She turned on her heels and began walking backwards. ‘You’re into vampire roleplay?’

He froze, mortified, and stared down at her. She kept her face neutral, a laugh simmering beneath. ‘Are _you?’,_ he gawked.

She shrugged, coy. ‘Who knows?’

‘Julie, you have to tell me before we get into class.’

Laughing at how scared he looked, she shook her head. ‘No. Edward Cullen is not my type. Too pale.’ She reached up with a grin and pecked his lips. ‘I’m more into that 90s punk look.’

His smile brightened in that way that made her so enormously giddy and surprised that _yes,_ this is indeed how deep her feelings went. _She was in love, in love, in love._ Let her voice find the right note to sing his name and the perfect harmony to blend with her own. She was in love, in love, in love. 

His hand dug in her waist as they continued their walk to class. ‘You’re into guys that don’t have money so they have to go thrifting.’

‘Also wrong.’ Tugging on the hem of his shirt, she said: ‘I’m into guys that are so passionate about music they rather spent money on that then stupid designer clothing.’

His smirk became downright dangerous, nuzzling his nose in her temple. ‘Don’t let our dearest Nick hear that, Jules. You might hurt his feelings and that Gucci necklace of his.’

She stifled a giggle when they reached the door. ‘It’s so tacky,’ she whispered with a grin.

‘Julie? Luke?’ The classroom door opened to reveal a displeased and confused Mrs. Harrison, eyeing the couple up and down. What she must be thinking… 

The two let go of each other and hopefully looked as innocent as possible. Julie, the quickest one with excuses, stepped forward with an apologetic expression. ‘Sorry, Mrs. Harrison. I cut my lip during lunch and Luke tried helping me.’

Behind Harrison, their entire friend group snorted at her lie. Assholes. She withheld the urge to shoot them a dirty look and kept up the convincing charade. Luke nodded. 

‘Yeah, sorry, we heard the bell, but-’

‘Her lip is still hurt,’ she commented. 

‘Yes…’ Julie trailed, feeling herself warming up. Embarrassment creeped from her neck to her cheeks. Gah - never again would she follow Luke’s ridiculous attempts at cliché hook-ups. ‘I just-’

‘Sit down.’

‘Okay,’ they muttered simultaneously, dropping their stare and rushing to their seats as classmates giggled and whistled below their breaths. Kayla leaned backwards in her chair to show Reggie something on her phone and he snickered. Even better: they were gossiping about them!

Flynn gave her a look that could either be interpreted as exasperation or impressed. ‘Girl,’ she whispered, ‘I’m all for sexual liberation, but-’

‘Flynn,’ she groaned, dropping her head in her hands. Harrison continued class, halting the group from embarrassing them more. A warm hand fell on her knee, comforting. Her eyes shot to Luke who gave her little shrug. He was right. They wouldn’t be the first and they certainly weren’t the last. She placed her palm over his, matching his expression. 

It was weird. She thought that after so many months of dating, she knew everything. She knew what he liked an disliked and the jokes he laughed at in movies and the ice cream flavours he scrunched his nose at and that him and his parents were on less than good terms. She knew all that. But then they decided to take the next step, and it was like they unlocked whole other parts of themselves that she didn’t even realise existed within herself. Parts that weren’t even necessarily “sexy”, but that emerged because of it. Julie never thought sex was important to have a good relationship, and she still believed it wasn’t something to base an entire coupling on, but it made it better. It solidified what they had as sustainable. 

Which was a really mature thing to think about, but it was true. If they wanted to (and they did), she and Luke could do this for a while; loving each other. 

It was as simple as a warm pat on her knee or a ridiculous make-out session in a broom closet or a giddy swipe against her cheek during a performance, or as “mature” as his skin against hers in the darkness of her bedroom. 

Their fingers weaved together and she suppressed the urge to sigh and place her head on his shoulder. She was in love, in love, in love. Even if they’ve tried their hand at a couple of love songs now, none have fully captured what she - or he - felt. The words were too simple or too big or too vague or too cliché when all they needed was a word so fundamentally _theirs,_ down to the fucking atom, that in the end, they reckoned they should just create a new word. 

That was been their project for the past few weeks. A new word. (They had a lot of these projects and games. They just made things up on a whim out of boredom or to tease and it was solely theirs. She’d start saying something to Carlos and realise halfway her language was dialled on Luke, not on Normal People Speech. It was crazy; loving.) 

‘Hey, lip biter,’ she teased as he approached her at the end of the school day. With a roll of the eye, he dumped his bag in the passenger seat of her car and slung his arms around her waist. 

His nose nudged hers. ‘If it happened without the janitor surprising us, you would’ve thought it was hot.’

She hummed, amused. ‘So, you _are_ into vampire roleplay.’

His face twisted sour. ‘Jules, every time you say that I get _hives.’_

Laughing, she chastely kissed him. ‘Writing session?’

He leaned in when she pulled back, probably annoying every kid that passed to get to their car but she, _frankly,_ didn’t care one bit. Luke’s obliviousness to his surroundings probably rubbed off on her. His eyes crossed both of hers, the look in his own making her squirm because he didn’t even hide it himself how much he felt, and then fell back into his bravado persona. ‘Your room or the studio?’

The implication was there. ‘Room?’

Luke grinned. ‘Yup. Let’s write.’

She gaped at him as he jumped in the seat. ‘You would’ve said _no_ if I said studio?’

His head popped up, equally playful. ‘Do _you_ have a thing for vampires?’

Luke Patterson was going to kill her one day. Just one big fucking explosion of feelings. 

Writing lasted all of ten minutes. They told her dad they were going to study, then snuck to her room and _tried_ to write. They really tried. But then both took the whole lip biting joke to another level and then teasing became flirting and flirting became her crawling over to swat him with her songbook and then that evolved into-

Well. Her brain was kind of mush at the moment. At one point she discarded his t-shirt and his hands were under hers and God - why did they even bother with that broom closet in the first place? She brought him closer with the push of her leg, each rub of the skin making them breathe heavier. 

Just as her fingers slipped under his belt and her top was a second away of being launched next to his, the door flew open. 

‘Ah!’

The exclaim startled Luke so hard he teetered down the bed with a yelp. Julie gasped, eyes flitting from a hurt Luke to her horrified dad staring at her. 

‘Dad!’ Her hand waved at him to go away and he finally slammed it back shut. A groan erupted from her mouth, hands falling over her eyes. This day… could not get any worse. First Harrison who now thought they did a quickie during school, now her dad whom she rather had he never found out. 

A weight dropped back on her bed with a huff. ‘I think I have a concussion.’

She giggled despite the situation and peeked from between her fingers, a pouty Luke laying beside her. Rolling to face him, she made a face and quickly kissed his lips. ‘I’m gonna talk to him.’

‘Yeah,’ he breathed. ‘Guess no one wants us to have fun today.’

Julie paused. There was one thing they haven’t tried yet. ‘The car?’

Luke frowned. ‘I thought you didn’t wanna do that anymore.’

Their first time was in the backseat of her car. Though romantic and exciting, not the most comfortable place to do it. It didn’t matter then, because they were both inexperienced and nervous and slow, but maybe… nostalgia? God, she just wanted to have sex with her boyfriend; why was the world against them today?! 

She kissed him again and stood up, flattening her hair. ‘Desperate times!’ Her quip earned her a laugh, the sound muffled by her door opening and closing. Time for the most awkward talk of her life.

If she thought the broom closet was cliché, she must’ve forgotten the car was worse. In the best way possible. Straddling his lap made her feel like the hottest girl in the world and he made it a point to tell her so. After actually studying, writing and eating dinner with Carlos and dad (who couldn’t look them in the eye yet), they went off under the guise of dropping Luke home. They found a lookout point, which LA was littered with, put on a Sabrina Claudio album and _finally_ let themselves have fun. 

She pulled his shirt off and sighed. ‘Finally.’

He smirked. ‘Needy.’

‘As if you weren’t _this_ close taking mine off.’ She leaned back, that alone enough to tease him. His hands gripped her thighs as if she’d bounce away like that. ‘But fine, I can keep it on if you want-’

He pulled her back in with a hard kiss. ‘Why you gotta drive me wild, Jules.’

Helping her undo of her top, she grinned. ‘Why not?’

He hummed, matching her smile heavy-lidded. ‘Good question.’

As he peppered her skin with warm kisses, her lips began to speak on their own. ‘I, uh-’

‘Hm?’

‘Our word game?’

He didn’t reply, but he also didn’t stop, so she supposed she should also just continue. Music and intimacy kind of melted together for them anyway. (When did _that_ start? Maybe because of the hook-ups after a performance and their brains just hotwired the two as equally important? Whether _that_ was healthy, they’d find out in a couple of years or something.) 

Her hands drifted form his chest to his belt. ‘Maybe… it’s not a word, but just a… a feeling.’

‘Hm?’, he looked up, blak pupils shrouding the green of his irises and so enamoured that she almost wanted to cry. Their position and Sabrina Claudio’s sultry atmosphere kept her in check though.

‘Yeah,’ she whispered, feather light touch of her fingers going back to his face and across his cheekbones, the fluttering sensation making him smile. ‘It’s this.’

‘I don’t think people wanna listen to us like _this,_ Julie.’

‘No,’ she giggled. ‘I just- I just mean. I love you. And I wish I could transpose it into a melody. Because I’m hearing it right now but it’s not made of instruments it’s just-’ Her breath choked. Why was she so emotional all of a sudden? All day, she teased and joked and laughed, but now, here, when his eyes were solely fixed one hers with the yellow streetlights in the distance and not a single other soul breathing the same air of them, she… 

‘It’s you,’ she finally uttered. ‘It’s made of you, I think.’

His dazed stare made him reply a beat later, voice aimless. ‘I don’t know if I wanna have sex or just get my guitar from the trunk.’

She laughed, her waterfall of hair casting shadows upon their faces as she kissed him again. _I’m in love, in love, in love._ ‘Please say the first.’

‘The first,’ he murmured. Their noses brushed together with a grin. The first it was. 

So they didn’t find their word or make a love song or a melody about _this_ (Alex would literally kill them if they did), but her adoring whispers seeped into their bloodstream regardless. The tune that sang in their bodies blended with _it’s you, it’s you, it’s you,_ and maybe that was the harmony she had been seeking for.

They didn’t need to convince an audience, or even their friends and family, of what they felt. As long as _they_ knew, as long as that soulful harmony flickered between them, then more wasn’t needed.

The car wasn’t so bad after all. 

_I wanna know if you care for me  
_ _If you feel my touch as heavenly  
_ _I wanna know if you feel this too_

_I wanna know, when you look at me_  
_Do the voice of angels start to sing?  
I wanna know if you hear them too_

**_\- Wanna Know, Sabrina Claudio_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. the versatility i possess. from complex female friendships to being blue-balled 😎


	25. the adolescent years + more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all semantics. (And semiotics - whatever.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively called: i still see your face in front yards. i still hear your voice in the traffic. // olivia rodrigo
> 
> unedited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **DIANA**

Isolation has gotten more meaningful in the last couple of years, both good and bad. Diana found that quite poetic, though the aesthetic kind of lessened the later it got and more people became drunk and annoying. 

Yeah, being an Uber driver was definitely interesting. 

Every day, another person for five minutes to an hour, some that gave their life story and their number, others completely silent. She liked both. She was human too, sometimes she had a bad day or a gnarly headache and then the quietude was a fucking relief. But the talkers, they made life better. Diana could feel the world caving in on her so fucking ginormous and her so fucking meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and then suddenly she'd be hit with another person. This one person with their own universe and their own history and that person and Diana lived side by side. It was possible. And it was nice. 

Being an Uber driver wasn't inherently poetic, she just _made_ it that. Gotta go through life somehow. 

It was after midnight and she'd gotten an alert to pick someone up on the strip. Which probably meant a gaggle of very drunk college kids that didn't know how to hold their liquor and would have Diana constantly reminding them there was a bucket. (Of course, that bucket was never used because college kids were fucking dumb.) She hoped she wouldn't have to wait long, or that she was hard to find, hating the strip so late. People were feral at night. 

She rolled up to the location and not even a minute later did someone tap on her window. She rolled it down, the glassy-eyed face of a guy popping in. 

'Diana?' 

'Yup. Luke?' 

He nodded and his head disappeared, seconds later dropping in the backseat with a thud and a girl falling with. Diana withheld a sigh. Should she start selling condoms too? Did her job description really stretch that far? 

'Where to?', she said. 

Luke sagged deeper into the couch. 'Uh-' 

'Masselin Avenue,' the girl spoke up, surprisingly clear. 

'Babe,' he breathed. 'You have class tomorrow.'

She shook her head, eyes closed. 'Skipping.'

'Yeah?'

Laughing, she hiccuped: 'I'm gonna be worthless for the next twenty-four hours.'

He smiled, also not as drunk as she thought they'd be. 'Okay. Masselin Avenue, uh, Diana.'

She rolled off the shoulder and drove back onto the busy main streets of LA. The streets were filled to brim with partygoers, bars spilling with drunkards and long queues stretching across overhyped clubs. Simply put: LA (But Diana loved it. These were her fucking people.)

'How was your night?', she asked conversationally. Traffic was slow, they'd be here for a bit. 

The girl crawled into the guy's embrace. 'Great. Fate & The Sons played at Tony's tonight.' When she said it, Luke mimicked the sound of a riffing guitar, fingers playing along. 

Diana was surprised. She thought they'd be the typical club people. Then again, they were dressed a bit too modestly for that. If she really took notice of the details, she'd see he was wearing a band tee from some obscure Belgian band and she had autographs of bands scrawled on her sneakers. They might be one of the coolest college kids she has encountered so far. 

'I love Fate & The Sons,' Diana exclaimed. The girl rhythmically tapped Luke's chest as he hummed the melody of one of their popular songs. Whether or not they heard her didn't matter, hand digging into the middle console. 'I have their CD.' 

Luke gasped, lurching forward and the girl's head falling wayside. 'You do?!' 

'Luke!' 

'Oh!' He giggled and helped her back up straight. 'Sorry, Jules.'

Amused, Diana waved the case around. 'Want me to put it on?' 

His hands drummed against the passenger seat. 'Yes, yes, yes!' 

'I don't like you anymore,' Jules pouted. Luke threw his arm around her again and she forgot her statement in a snap, snuggling into his body. Alright. Drunk people with clear speech seemed to exist as well then. It was when Jules began kissing his jaw that Diana put the CD on. If these kids were gonna make out, she needed to have a buffer. 

But then the first notes, that familiar drum with the synth, started and both Luke and Jules danced in their seats. 

'Whatcha say there, girl?!', Luke scatted, slurred yet somehow melodic. 

'You were looking for the wrong girl, the wrong girl, the wrong _fucking_ girl,' sang the girl back, mimicking the growl of the singer in the last part. She was, for some reason, a really great singer too. 

Yeah, Diana thought her 2 AM Uber drive on the fucking strip would go a little differently. 

Jules held out an imaginary mic out to Diana, brows raised with stern expectation. Didn't matter that the drunk girl was about twenty and Diana nearly two decades older, she decided then and there the woman had to sing. 

Gotta love the talkers. 

'Hang back and watch the blonde girl, the wrong girl, the wrong _fucking_ girl!' Her voice was that of a dying moose, but neither seemed to mind and enthusiastically bounced along.

The two shot into the chorus, loud and kind of off-key but also kind of not and it was sort of sensational. Holding onto each other's necks, they blared the lyrics all the while keeping soulful eye contact. 

If there was one thing she should be relieved about, was that they were clearly not just on a hook-up or a date. This was, thank the fucking gods, an actual couple. 

The song faded out after two blazing verses and a bridge and shifted into the next, this one more mellow. They sank back in their seats. 

'They're fucking amazing,' Luke sighed. 

She threw her legs in his lap. 'Says a lot coming from you, you music snob.'

'Julie,' he whined, dropping his head on hers. 'Why you gotta be a bitchy drunk?'

'You like it when I'm a bitchy drunk!' 

'It's hot because you usually sing me ABBA,' he drawled, causing her to giggle. Diana didn't know to react to that weirdly specific detail. 'So it's like, bitchy mixed with a seventies fantasy.' 

Julie clicked her tongue. 'I think it just exposes how white you actually are.'

Diana snorted. 

'Ya see. Bitchy.'

Rolling her eyes, she said: 'What do you want? Lay all your love? Mamma Mia? Knowing me, knowing you?' She grinned. 'Slipping through my fingers?'

'That's depressing as fuck.' 

'I know. I'm being bitchy. You like it.'

He ignored it. 'I choose "Lay All Your Love On Me". That actually gets me going.' 

Her hand fell on his lap. 'Yeah?' 

'You guys are singers?', Diana cut in. No handjobs or else she was gonna lose her shit. She has already reached her monthly quota of five. 

They didn't hear her, or didn't want to, as Julie kept going. 'What if I want you to sing for _me?'_

'It's always a duet.'

She pouted. 'Maybe I want you to sing me Enrique Iglesias.'

'Your latina is showing, babe,' he teased, flicking her cheek.

'Mash-up?' 

He paused. 'How many fucking shots did you drink?' 

Julie grinned, coy. Diana wished they were singing again, instead of this weird kind of foreplay. Who got off on talking about _songs?_ Leaning into his side and whispering something in his ear, Luke stilled. Then, he tentatively tapped Diana on the shoulder and forced himself to have a straight face. 

'Uh, will this be taking long, or-?' 

Diana glanced at the GPS. 'Another fifteen minutes. Sorry.'

Luke cursed and dropped back next to Julie. Their noses were now touching, a silent conversation through eyes and twitches of the mouth. And if they were petting each other through fabric, she decidedly ignored it. 

Fate & The Sons kept playing, hums and random strings of lyrics coming from the back seat. They didn't seem to be doing anything weird, though it was dark and Diana wasn't completely sure. It was fine. They had nice voices. It kind of felt like people carolling, but in summer and then the stench of tequila emanating instead of gluhwein. 

The whole "bitchy drunk" spiel has faded, because all of a sudden, she heard the breathy voice of Julie muttering: 'I love you so much it's unfair.'

Her mess of hair was held in his hands, like he'd see her face better if every curl was pushed back. He kissed her. 'So nine? You always get emotional after nine.'

'I hate that you're not on the same level right now,' she drawled. 'It's fun here.'

He kept caressing her hair, that affectionate tone fixed in his smile. 'You're tired.'

She shook her head. 'I love you.'

The "I love you" was different than before. How, she couldn't quite explain. It was too late for that and the stereo was distracting her. But it was different. It was _resigned._ Like she was too drunk and too tired and too adoring to put weight in her words. A meaningless fact. Sky was blue, grass was green, Julie loved Luke - and maybe that was why it felt so indescribable. 

'I love you too, Julie,' he whispered, just as simple. Just as weightless. Diana, a thirty-five year old woman, wanted to cry. The sensation of isolation slammed into her chest all at once. These were the times that small windows into other universes hurt more than they did good. 

The law of love. Fixed, untapped, and now: in the back of her car. 

But then Luke pinned her into an audible tongue kiss and maybe they were just drunk and horny and emotional. Maybe _Diana_ was just emotional. 

She knew what she saw though. The fundamentals of love showing their atoms for a split second and then burning her insides as it dwindled again. She always thought love was lawless and free, jaded by fighting couples and tear-stained faces and angry phone calls. _That_ was never love, she now realised. If it was, it would look like the backseat right now. (Sans the gross smacking of lips, but she got it.)

Julie and Luke, she decided, were genuinely in love. 

Just as clothes began to shift and hands wandered, Diana consequently amping up the music, they arrived on Masselin Avenue. 

'We're here,' she proclaimed over all the noise. Though she willed her face to stay straight, it twitched when Luke's head appeared between the seats and he looked even more dishevelled then before. With red, swollen lips, he paid her. 

'Thanks,' he breathed. 'C'mon, Julie.'

She slung her arms around his body teasingly and Diana just wanted to get moving. One more minute and she'd start nagging. 

'Carry me?' Her voice was brighter again. 

He grinned and kissed the closest part to him, her jaw. 'Only if you carry me the next time.'

'Deal.'

And with that, the couple finally got out of her car. Luke first, took a second to regain his balance and then told Julie to "hop on". The girl crawled out of the car onto his back and hooked her legs around his waist. In the clear night sky and city lights and devoid of swarming drunks, she noticed just how young they were. He had boyish features and big green eyes and she wore butterfly earrings and a self-made anklet. So young. 

Diana almost wanted to tell them how much they had yet to discover. How much they haven't explored and tried and lived. So much still ahead. That feeling from before resurged. So much fucking _life_ waiting to be lived and they got the privilege to share those moments with someone. 

But then Fate & The Sons jumped into a hard rock song and Luke began staggering and bouncing down the street with a laughing Julie, both idiotic and sluggish and the poster children of a college kid. The tears were kept at bay and she drove off. She didn't think of them the days after (so many faces, so many hours), but she did think of that magical moment between them when boredom kicked in. 

_I love you,_ a law with no variables. Unchanging and to its fucking atom. 

The cool thing about making these snapshot acquaintances through her job, was the off chance that she'd see someone again and then it felt like some silly reunion of high school friends. 

Like once, she had to drive Pedro to the airport twice. The first time to see his girlfriend, the second time to see a _new_ girlfriend. Though a small passage of time, it had been nice to fill the gaps between in that forty-five minute drive. 

She hadn't expected to see the couple again though. Hell, she completely forgot about them. There were a bazillion Luke's that asked for an Uber each day and Diana had better things to do than sleuth around and try to figure out which one it was. 

But it was them. Two years after the fact, her car slowed down for a guy in some Patagonia jacket and a girl in an oversized red henley, and she instantly knew it was them. They looked older though; him more built than before and her face more sculpted. All childish quirks have disappeared. 

'Diana?', he asked, head popping in and no recognition found in his tone. She was just a random Diana. 

'Yes,’ she smiled. ‘Jump in!' 

It was new; people not remembering her. Then again, it was years ago, pitch black outside and both had drunk as hell. The only reason she remembered their faces was because of what they said to each other. She turned to look at them, watched as they clambered into the backseat. He has a scruff now too, she noticed. They looked like people she would actually meet up with. 

She nodded. 'Where to?'

Julie met her stare, nothing shifting behind her eyes either. ‘Garden Avenue, Atwater Village.’

She withheld the quirk of a brow. Atwater Village was where people lived that, like, had actual lives. Away from the hustle and bustle of central LA and where the real locals held their shops. It was horribly hipster, but in the best way possible. Even Diana thought of living there for a while. 

The beat of surprise was too long, she realised, as Julie tilted her head. ‘Yes?’

She turned back. ‘Sorry. Spaced out for a second.’

Great, she cringed. Creeped them out from the simple, though mind-boggling, thought that these young people had so much figured out already. She still had no clue how old they were either. Twenty-three? _Maybe?_ To not break her head over these strangers even more, she put on the Fate & The Sons CD. It came back to her, the way they sang, when she saw them back on the curb. 

Luke perked up and grabbed Julie’s hand when the song began. ‘Jules!’

‘Oh my God,’ she gasped. ‘We haven’t listened to them in so long. You have _amazing_ taste, Diana.’

She laughed. ‘Thanks. Want me to keep it on?’

‘Yeah!’, Luke exclaimed, smile breaking his skin and brightening his eyes. They looked better in daylight. (Which was a whole feat, since most people definitely didn’t.)

For a while, they didn’t speak. Or rather: they mumbled the lyrics under their breath and hummed and tapped the beat on their legs. Once again was the question whether they were musicians or not on the tip of her tongue, but she decided against it. Even if they weren’t, they were still musically inclined. More she didn’t need to know. (Then again, if they _were,_ she wouldn’t mind a CD or a Spotify link.) 

(Months later, she’d scour Spotify and get smacked in the face with a close-up of Julie on the Global Top 50 charts. Julie and The Phantoms, an internet sensation since 2020 when they were only sixteen years old. Prodigies of the twenty-first fucking century have been in her car - twice!)

Contently, Julie placed her head on his shoulder. ‘This feels like a sign,’ she muttered. Diana peeked in the rear-view mirror. 

His head turned, lips touching her forehead with a little grin. ‘Yeah?’

‘Atwater was a good move. It’s not where all our friends are, but-’ She shifted too, noses brushing. ‘-it’s our own world now.’

Luke barely had to lean in to kiss her, chaste and light and not at all like the first night in her car. In broad daylight, there was no way to hide how enamoured they were with each other. Diana didn’t even have to look to know. Their voices said it all. 

‘I love you,’ he whispered. From the gut, intent and reverent, like a prayer. Her hands clenched around the wheel. Holy shit. 

(Diana’s parents divorced when she was in middle school. She never got herself to a therapist, because she was an Uber driver and she’d rather not spent her money on some hippie guru in LA, but she always guessed it must’ve left some scars. The way doors kept open freaked her out or when someone got angry and she kind of flinched. It was embarrassing sometimes. She was nearly forty; she had a decent rapport with her parents and her past was just that: the past. But yeah, she didn’t fall in love easily. And sometimes, she forgot it actually existed, that it was possible. Maybe that was why she loved being a driver so much. It allowed her to indulge in other people’s love without the fear of getting hurt herself. A therapist might raise their eyebrows at that confession, but hey - it worked.) 

Julie caressed the scruff on his jaw, just as adoring. ‘I love you too. I can’t wait to buy overpriced clementines with you at the farmer’s market.’

He chuckled and pecked her again, nose scrunched. ‘You fucking hipster.’

Mimicking his face, she quipped: ‘Says the guy wearing a thrifted Patagonia jacket in _spring.’_

They kept bickering back and forth, each jab veiled with more love than the previous one. All the while, Fate & The Sons played. Diana knew then she would never be able to listen to the band anymore without thinking of them. It made her excessively happy; the idea that these small interactions finally bled into other things. Whoever these kids were, she’d forever be tinged with joy every time she put the album on. She’d forget their voices and faces and names, but she’d remember the way they made her feel. 

It was far too intense for any other Uber driver - because _Jesus fucking Christ what the hell was she even thinking about?_ \- but it worked for her. 

She dropped them off on their street and Luke paid her. 

‘Have a good one,’ she exclaimed.

Julie smiled at her form the curb, her hand still in Luke’s. ‘Thanks, you too!’

Diana drove away again. She would never see them again (except for that one moment on Spotify months later) and yet, it’s been a while since she felt so… complete. 

Yeah, being an Uber driver definitely had its perks. 

> **EMILY - junior year of high school**

She doesn't know who she expected when Luke mentioned he was dating someone, but it certainly wasn’t Julie Molina. It first had to register _he_ was _dating_ someone (her absentminded son?), that she had no time to really think about the girl in question. The only thing she believed was that it was probably some alternative, punk-rocker, self-proclaimed “chick” that would only rot Luke’s brain more with that awful music. She was aware her and Mitch allowed Luke to go to LF Arts, but it was purely to get all of this music out of his system so that, by summer next year, there wouldn’t be any struggle about going to college. He was smart; college was the only proper option for him.

But Julie Molina was a wild card. After four months of nagging, of wanting to see her, he finally caved and told them he’d bring her in quickly. “Quickly,” he had pressed with a frown. “And you’re not gonna make her like, I don’t know, feel awkward or something.”

Mitch had been offended. “We would only like to meet the girl, Luke. We’re not gonna throw her for the sharks.”

He had scoffed under his breath. “Debatable.”

All three bit their tongue after that. Dinner had been silent. It was always silent. Mitch and her have been quietly waiting for him to come to his senses, and when he did, they’d love him with all their heart. It was just… difficult now. They would get through it. Right? Right. 

And so they met her. She got z first glimpse of the girl through the curtains as they stepped out of her car. It wasn’t a luxurious model, but it wasn’t second-hand either. They shot each other a look. The idea that Luke would slum it with the rich part of town was a surprise, even more that he’d like someone like that. Or maybe they were just prejudiced. She hoped so. 

A wary Luke came in from the front door, hand clasped with Julie while she was hidden behind his back.

Emily mustered a smile. ‘Hi, Julie. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Emily.’

Mitch mimicked her expression, somewhat softer. ‘I’m Mitch.’

The girl fully appeared now. ‘Hello! Nice to meet you too.’ Then she went to shake their hands and Emily got a full look of her. Kind eyes and a pretty smile, a bush of curls held back with a blue peasant scarf, a bright blue top starkly contrasting against Luke’s horrid black muscle tank. A normal girl. Not even a nose piercing. But she was one thing she nor Mitch liked. 

She was the girl that got her son in yet _another_ band. Willing her hand not to tighten, Emily kept her smile. Perhaps that was the first (and only) reason they wanted to meet Julie. Who had been the person to drive Luke even closer to the other side of the football field? Their goal had been _right there_ and then she had to step in. 

‘Great,’ Luke but in, clapping his hands. ‘You’ve met. Let’s go, Jules.’

‘Luke,’ Emily scolded. ‘You just got here. What’s the rush?’

He met her gaze evenly, though the keen eye of a mother saw the way his jaw ticked. ‘Band rehearsal.’

Mitch pursed his lips, ice washing over the room just like that, bringing Julie down with it. The girl hesitated, looking from them to Luke, and let go of Mitch’s hand. 

Her husband laughed, though it lacked warmth. Emily couldn’t even tap him on the arm for it. She was so sick of hearing about _music_ and _rehearsal_ and _practise_ and _this rock band_ and _that gig_ and texts like “oops! sorry! out late again!” at three in the morning. She was sick, sick, _sick_ of having her son neglect the life they offered him. For him to throw every piece of it in the trash.

And this girl, as lovely as she may look, was dragging him down with her. 

Mitch’s hand fell on his shoulder. ‘I’m _sure_ you can skip a rehearsal, right Luke?’

Luke’s eyes went from the hand to his face, steeled. It honestly freaked her how Luke was able to look at them like that. Why couldn’t he see they cared? His words were staccato. ‘Nope. Gotta go. The boys are waiting on us.’

Smiling back at Julie, Emily said: ‘What do _you_ think, Julie?’

The girl’s brows raised in surprise, unsure what to say. Anger flared on Luke’s face. ‘Can you not involve her, please?’

‘Let the girl speak, Luke,’ Mitch retorted. 

There were two ways this could go. Either Julie would do the good thing and side with them, tell Luke they should stay for a bit and maybe have dinner together. Something a _good_ girlfriend would say. Didn’t every girlfriend want to impress the parents? Especially this early in! It would show that Julie had some rational bone in her body and wouldn’t lead Luke astray, maybe even convince him to go to college as well. Julie seemed like the type of girl to go; if this got him to change his mind, all the better! 

‘Yeah…’ Julie trailed, edging towards Luke and locking their fingers together. ‘I think, uh, we should go. They’re waiting on us.’

She chose the other way. Fucking fantastic. 

It came out before she wanted to, her voice shrill and irritated. ‘And how do you feel about that? That you’re ruining his life?’

The girl turned aghast. Luke looked ready to punch something. ‘W-what?’, she stuttered. 

He slapped Mitch’s hand off and barrelled forward. ‘What the fuck, mom?!’

Gah! Why did every conversation have to end in screams?! She knew she shouldn’t have yelled at Julie, but this girl just made everything worse! The foresight was there: Luke would become even more unmanageable and a problem and everything they have worked so hard for, would come crumbling down. Mitch did not work two jobs, Emily did not embarrass herself when the grocery bill was particularly high, for Luke to just “wing it.”

‘She’s not good for you!’, she spouted. Everything has gone to shit anyway, no need to spare the girl’s feelings. It must’ve been like a slap in the face though, Julie tucking her chin into her chest and eyes widening like a deer in headlights.

Emily continued. ‘She’s going to make you regret every decision you’ll make! This band is not good for you, Luke! It never will!’

‘Don’t tell what I can or can’t do! This is my fucking life!’

‘Luke!’, Mitch admonished. 

‘No,’ he growled, roughly pushing Julie behind his back again. ‘I’m not doing this. I’m so fucking-’ The unsaid word was there: done. He was _done._ And he knew they were too. He sighed, halfway out the door and Julie out of sight. ‘I’ll see you guys tonight.’

Mitch nodded, firm. ‘When we’ll _continue_ this discussion.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever.’ And then he was gone, door slamming shut. From the window, she saw Julie slipping her arm around his waist as they walked back to the car. His lips were moving close to her ear, fast and contorted. She shook her head. 

Mitch clicked his tongue, upset, and moved away from the window. ‘She’s not good for him. She’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but-’

‘You don’t have to explain,’ Emily muttered. ‘I know. She’s ruining the plan.’

‘I don’t know what we can do anymore, Em.’

She went to sit next to him on the couch, suddenly feeling flushed from the fight. ‘There’s still a year for things to turn around-’

‘It won’t.’

‘-and if it doesn’t.’ She paused. The unthinkable, but the only thing possible. Luke has become a stranger and it wasn’t getting better. There were no points where they met. ‘Then…’

Mitch grabbed her hand. ‘Yes.’

‘It’s what’s best.’

‘I agree. Our house, our rules.’

The car rumbled and drove off the lawn. 

(The last time Emily saw Julie’s car was the following April, when their screaming match ended in them saying they wished they had another son and him texting her to come pick him up. It had been past midnight though, and when the car arrived, Julie’s dad sat behind the driver’s seat. Luke didn’t even question it. They ran after him as he threw his duffle bag in the backseat and yelled he “never wanted to see their fucking faces ever again.” They did see each other again. A week later, in the living room of Reggie’s flat, cramped between the plastic toys of his four sisters and a pile of laundry. Luke had been living there - on the floor of Reggie’s four by four bedroom. They decided then, with Ray as mediator, that he was allowed to finish high school and that was it. They couldn’t help him further. Luke hadn’t looked at them, simply nodded and spoke through Ray.)

(They didn’t go to his graduation. He didn’t call them. It was better that way.)  
  
(They began seeing him on billboards and websites as the years progressed, yet didn’t reach out. They didn’t know how.)

(Every time a black Subaru passed, her heart clenched.) 

(They weren’t invited to the wedding. They knew of the event after the facts.) 

(He and she saw the couple age from the sidelines, brief pictures on the internet of Luke’s content smile and Julie’s piercing eyes. In their heads, they were still seventeen and eighteen.) 

(They called when Sophia was born, but he didn’t pick up. They understood. It ached.)

(All that was left unsaid, was never spoken, never shown. Would she reverse back to the day of their final fight if she knew life would go like this? She wasn’t sure. The only she hoped for, was that he didn’t hate them anymore. That if he ever did see their faces again, he wouldn’t scowl.)

(Then again, she wasn’t sure if they deserved that.) 

(They would never talk again.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have friends that have been cut off..... very fun to see them go through that. estrangement! yay!
> 
> fate & the sons is not a real band. just thought it sounded gnarly. all the adults here can also slap me if i'm bad at writing them. i'm barely twenty lmao. 
> 
> anyway, wanted to off-set two people who had wildly different perspectives on love, relationships and isolation. it's... something???? i need a drink lmao


	26. senior year of high school - part seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tía Victoria, as usual, keeps the Molina household from rocking the boat. Idiotas, all of them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tia fucking victoria fucking supremacy - Y'ALL KNOW SHE WAS THAT GIRL™ BACK IN THE DAY
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **VICTORIA**

Victoria was exhausted. Justifiably so. There she was, in her second pilates class of the day (her job gave amazing discounts), when she got a call from Ray that he needed help. With what, he didn't specify. Normally, she would've waved him off like some mosquito buzzing in her ear (she already made them homemade food and drove Carlos to his games, _what else_ was she supposed to do in that household?), but he sounded worried. Aimless. It promptly made her step from her yoga matt and rush out the door. 

And then she heard Luke was cut off, kicked out, and that exhaustion came full force. Really? In the year 2021, parents still disowned their own blood because they liked playing music? _Dios mio…_

While the boy slept over at Reggie's the first ten days, it wasn't sustainable. Reggie didn't have a very steady homelife either and the flat wasn't big enough for a seventh person. It wasn't big enough for six either, apparently, but the point was that Luke needed a new place to stay. That place being the Molina homestead. 

These were quite unorthodox times for the Molina's, that was for sure and certain.

Victoria didn't dislike Luke, but she wasn't fond of the idea that he, for a while, lived with Julie. They'd just distract each other and nothing would get done. Plus, they were already so enamoured by each other that she didn't want to make it worse by feeding this fantasy of "living together" and "forever in love". She wished them the best, but she has always been the more pragmatic sister. The chances of this relationship surviving after high school were slim, even slimmer after college. People changed. Taste changed. Letting him live here would only hurt more in the end when it inevitably crashed and burned. 

But Luke had nowhere to go. And Luke didn't deserve all this fuckery. He was a wonderful kid that loved her niece to death and the least he could get in return was a warm bed and a nice meal. So she agreed with Ray. Luke could stay with the Molina's. 

'Ground rules,' Victoria spit, placing her hands flat on the kitchen island. Ray stood behind her acting like the Good Cop. How her sister survived with him, Victoria had no clue. A fool, truly. Before her sat Julie and Luke, wide-eyed and shoulders brushing. 

'This is no vacation, okay? This is not your boyfriend coming over for a month-long sleepover. It is still school, homework and studying for your exams - that are coming soon! Have you been studying, mija?' 

'Yes, tía.'

'This is not music camp,’ she continued. ‘Just because Luke is here doesn't mean you get to write all the time.'

A pause fell. Then Julie dropped a bomb. 'He gets to sleep in my room, right?' 

'What?' Vic chortled. 'No.'

Her mouth fell slack, offended, and turned to Ray. 'Dad!' 

Victoria whirled around and prodded her finger at him, scowling. 'Ray, don't soften!' 

'I mean…' he trailed, an awkward grin on his face. An absolute _tonto._ 'It's a little conservative to make them sleep in separate rooms, Victoria.'

As Julie cheered at his response, Victoria blinked at him. Severely unimpressed, she muttered: 'Are you-? Oh my God. I cannot _believe_ you made me cut pilates for this.'

Julie laughed. 'Tía! Please, Luke and I will just be sleeping. Nothing going on!' 

'Sweetheart,’ she deadpanned. ‘You came to _me_ when things started going on. Don't lie.'

'Victoria,' Luke came in, mustering a smile he knew charmed anyone (including Vic herself). 'We promise you. No funny business, just sleeping.'

She rolled her eyes. 'I don't believe you, but alright. Don't come to me for advice, Ray, when the door is locked. _Entendido?'_ A genuine smile bloomed after the man firmly nodded. 'I hope you're still using that app, Luke. _Lots_ of Spanish from now on.'

The Month Of Luke commenced and it wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. Victoria came over frequently to check and help out, as a new permanent fixture in the household (more fixed than he already was - Luke was _always_ here) required a little extra womanpower. It was during the first week she knew that, despite how lovesick Julie and Luke were, they were keeping their promise. Everything was normal. She studied in her room while he studied at the dinner table as to not distract. Band rehearsals were kept to the normal amount and not tripled "just because." If one didn't know the real reason why Luke was here, they'd raise their brows with scrutiny. 

But the reason was still apparent. During dinners, he wouldn't talk much despite his clear understanding of many threads of Spanish. His expression perpetually sullen. Near the end of it, Julie would usually be holding his hand or have her face propped on his shoulder. Victoria didn't know what they communicated then, but it seemed to help. 

Or a more recent example was Monday morning, start of the second week. She made pancakes and mango chutney and the scent alone brought Carlos down like the little fox he was. Julie's room stayed shut. They still had time wake up, but the stark contrast between them and Carlos made her pause. Fine. One snoop won't hurt! Not like Ray had the balls to do so! 

It was a mistake though. When she opened the door, Julie and Luke were cuddling. But it wasn't cute. Though both were asleep, Luke was clutching onto her body while trembling and shuddering and with sweat matting his forehead, nose pressed in her sternum. He was wrecked. Julie was holding on just as tight. It ached, knowing that they likely fell asleep like that, that her wonderful niece was mature enough to handle such rough emotions. 

(Perhaps Julie learned from Victoria. Wasn't she the one holding Julie just like that during lonely nights four year ago?) 

His head shot to her neck, still unconscious. 'Jules-' he cried out, choked. 

Julie rolled into him more, a soothing sound lulling from her lips. Sinking deeper into him, nuzzling her nose in his skin, all of a sudden they were a tangled mess of limbs without certainty where the first began and the other ended. And her heart _ached._

(When they came down half an hour later, him with bloodshot eyes and her with dark circles, she didn't comment on it.)

Slowly, Luke got better. By the end of the second week, they were contently sleeping without Luke mid-meltdown. (It was weird. Over the course of the month, they always slept the exact same. Luke left, Julie right, curled into each other with her half-sprawled on top. How they didn't suffocate throughout the night was a mystery.) Or every so often, he'd throw around a couple of words during dinner. A joke, a retort, a compliment to her food, and he'd look fine doing so. 

But because of that, they became _way_ too comfortable being with each other outside of Julie's bedroom. 

She came in during the third week, ready to take Carlos to baseball, when she saw the tops of Julie's curls on the couch. Edging closer and muttering her name, she didn't react. Victoria craned her neck to look over the couch and sighed. Luke and Julie have stopped giving a fuck. 

They were snuggling on the couch. Her beloved niece was completely on top of him as if _he_ were the couch, while sharing air pods. His hands were absent-mindedly stroking the strip of skin on her back. Their eyes were closed, though the rumble of a hum coming from their chests indicated they weren't asleep. 

Victoria took a few silent steps back and then called out for Carlos. In any other situation, she would've told them to split it up, that it was a Saturday morning and that they should do some schoolwork before band rehearsal, but both deserved the peace. The momentary bliss. 

(She allowed it this one time, though still fearing for a bad ending. A wrecked Julie post-breakup was something she simply didn't want to see. It would remind her too much of four years ago. Victoria would be pleased by the time Julie was twenty-five and walking down the botanical garden towards her soon-to-be husband, that the glass never crashed and there were never any shards to pick up. Their relationship was never even glass to begin with. But when Julie was eighteen, Victoria didn't know that yet.)

While Carlos came down with a skip in his step, duffle bag juggling behind him, she noticed from the corner of her eye how both sat up, her still between his legs and smiling at each other, sleepy. Luke leaned forward and softly rubbed his nose against hers. Alright. That was adorable. She should've stayed and taken a picture.

'Bleh!', Carlos exclaimed. The couple looked their way, unfazed by the brother. 'You're being uncool, Luke.'

He shot his thumb up with a mischievous grin, the other snaking around Julie's waist as he pulled them back down, giggling. 

He rolled his eyes. 'They're _always_ like this. I don't even know what they're listening to.' Opening the front door, they stepped out into the sweltering LA heat. 

'Music, mijo.'

'Yeah,' he laughed. 'I mean that it's weird they can listen to the same music for hours.'

'I think it's another "Julie and Luke thing",' she commented lightly. Their thing, like rubbing noses and listening to the same songs for hours and sleeping in an unchanging way and head tilts like that was a language of its own. It was astounding how quickly her niece created her own universe with this boy she knew for less than two years. It didn't feel weird though. It existed, and that was that. 

The fourth week called for a Julie and The Phantoms gig and to see the preparation was… interesting. Julie was one ball of nervous energy as she flitted around the house looking for one thing, forgetting that thing, and looking for it again. Simply put: she became her father. Clamour came from the studio of the boys getting ready and hauling equipment into Reggie's van. Most particularly, Julie and Luke whirling around each other as they finalised things. 

'Did you-?' 

'Yup. And have you-?' 

'Duh.'

'Just checking. And is the-?' 

'Yeah, that's all in order. How's the-?' 

'Better,' Julie smiled, reaching up to kiss his cheek. 'Thank you.'

Victoria but in, unsure if she was speaking the right lingo but trying anyway. 'Better? Are you okay, mija?' 

Her eyes widened, like they weren't being kinetic and frenzied and talking loudly in the kitchen. 'Oh! Yeah! Don't worry about it!' 

(Years later, Julie would tell her Luke and her didn't _always_ follow the rules and she hurt her neck that morning when they got a little too excited. _Idiotas_ \- all of them.) 

Julie lunged forward and smacked a kiss on her cheek. 'We have to go! See you at the gig, tía!' 

They were incredible. They always were. The venue went up in flames before the first song, a stellar drum solo by Alex, was finished. It drilled between one's ribs and made everyone ready to be hit just as hard for the following five songs. The three others stormed on as the rhythmic drums lulled all in a trance of wonder. Her niece looked effervescent, a sequined camisole tucked in leather pants and her hair wild and free. (Just like Rose. She looked so much like Rose it hurt sometimes. How could Luke's parents not see how magical these moments were?)

And when silver rings glinted into the spotlights, adorning her fingers, Victoria only cheered louder. Even if this relationship wasn't forever, she should allow Julie to adore it, to take everything out of it while she could. Besides, if Luke looked at her like _that,_ then she couldn't blame Julie for doing so. 

The songs zoomed by in a blazing thunder, each other louder and more hitting than the previous. Sweat drenched their bodies by the time they bowed, the crowd absolutely feral. Victoria didn't go to concerts a lot and she had forgotten how insane it could be. She loved it though. These people cheered for her niece, for her band, for her talent. 

A teary-eyed, emotional Luke kissed her onstage, Julie's hands cradling his jaw as she nodded at him. She didn't need to hear to understand. _Yes. You will be alright. This is your family. This audience, me, the boys - this is your family. You will be alright._

Exams came and went, Luke went to live with Reggie again for a bit, prom and graduation soon followed. Ray sent her the pictures from prom and put them on her mantle. She cried during graduation, another Molina getting a degree and taking the world by storm. The beam on Julie's red lips was something she'd never forget. 

She was talking with a few other parents on the lacrosse field, nursing a champagne while surrounded by a sea of maroon gowns, when she heard them behind her. 

'I've missed you.'

He laughed. 'What?' 

A hesitant pause. 'At home.'

'Oh,' he breathed. 'Yeah, I miss that too. Don't tell Reg I said that.'

She giggled. 'Sure. I just- I know it was just a month. I just… liked it. A lot.'

The implication was there. _Let's do it again. I love you this much that I want it to be permanent._ It was a huge risk for an eighteen year old girl to say, Victoria almost turning around to steer her away and save her from herself - but then Luke hummed. 

'Who knows,' he chuckled nervously. 'Maybe… in the future.'

'Yeah?'

His reply was softer. 'Yeah.'

Victoria peeked over her shoulder, watching as they tried to have their private moment chest to chest. Excited, antsy smiles bloomed on their lips. Not even the thrill of graduation kept them from discussing monumental topics like this. 

"Mija!", she wanted to yell. "Enjoy the moment, please!" But this _was_ the moment, she realised. This was the moment her niece wanted to be in. 

'Great,' Julie whispered, pecking his lips, then giggling as she pointed at him. 'I got red on your face!' 

He made a face, pouting dramatically. 'Do I look hot?' 

_'Smoking.'_

The grin became silly. 'Nice.'

'Mija,' Victoria called out. Their gaze got ripped away. 'Why don't we all take a picture together? For my mantle!' 

Julie nodded happily, dragging Luke with her. With Luke having the longest arm, they took a few selfies - serious, happy, goofy, Julie's arms around Victoria and then around Luke. All gorgeous and glittering. She wouldn't be able to choose! 

'Come on,' Julie said. 'Let's get these gowns back to the gym and then we can go to Valerie's.'

 _'Ooh.'_ He wiggled his brows. 'Another round of "Never Have I Ever"?'

The Molina women shot each other a look. The understanding was there. Victoria wouldn't snitch if Julie drove her brother to baseball once. Maybe Luke was the biggest fool of all. 

An awkward chuckle left her lips as she pulled him away. 'Yeah… let's hope not.'

And that finalised the month and a bit Victoria Molina orbited around the couple. She only saw snapshots, most likely the least bitter parts, but it reassured her how strong both of them were. Luke crawled from the deepest trenches onto the stage with a dazzling smile as he accepted his diploma. The callouses on his fingers were a vice and a virtue, but in the end, he had Julie to break through. To stay strong, in their own ways. In return, Julie may have secured the love of her life. Victoria didn't want her to have false hope, but it was hard to deny when just then, her niece had looked so _sure_ of the idea of living together. 

(They were so young. So young to truly know anything about life and love. And yet.)

Victoria drank the last of her champagne. She decided to go for it anyway. 

**living together is an interesting convo to have at graduation mija**

The reply was instantaneous. 

**it is…  
** **is it stupid to say it's a gut feeling?**

Before she could reply, Julie texted more. 

**just ignore it haha  
** **it's just us being emotional it's nothing  
** **safe trip home tia!!! ❤️❤️**

Her smile softened. 

**you too mi amor**

Alright. A gut feeling. "All from the fucking gut, Tori," Rose used to say. "If it's not from the gut, then what's the point?" 

When Julie called her six years later to say they were engaged, she wasn't surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leather pants supremacy. i said what i said.


	27. the adolescent years - part six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Carlos indeed got a girlfriend in junior year. Helena, was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my hand slipped this is so fucking dumb. this might be the dumbest thing ever. sorry in advance. this is -------- y'all can decide lmao - unedited as shit and as usual, the cursed tumblr is @lydias--stiles

> **HELENA**

Somehow, after dating Carlos for three years, Helena has never met his sister and her boyfriend. Or, you know, the biggest stars of their generation. No biggie. 

Nothing ever worked out. Either she had to be at a family function and couldn’t make it or vice versa, or Julie was at college and Luke was holed up in a studio somewhere or they were literally touring America. She has seen them at a concert, sure, but she hasn’t talked to them. And it was fucking nerve wrecking. 

(She remembered DM’ing Carlos on a whim in their junior year. He was cute and she just got out of a relationship and her friends had egged her on - because what did she have to lose, right? A DM was harmless and she knew from limited interaction that he wasn’t a douche. That DM started a full blown conversation, only for her to belatedly realise that _oh yeah,_ his sister was Julie fucking Molina. Helena declared herself the “dumb one” from her friend group. Somehow, his thousands of followers and the dozens of pictures with the band slipped her eye. Whatever. After a full month of going back and forth on IG and her realising she _kind of very much totally_ liked him, it was too late to backpedal. Now they were nineteen and still dating and Helena had no clue how the fuck she got here. Yep. She was definitely the dumb one. Maybe she should change her nickname to “goldfish brain” in the group chat.) 

And so, three years past any appropriate date to meet your boyfriend’s sister and beau, Helena Nuñez finally met Julie Molina and Luke Patterson. 

Unconventionally, that is. 

Last night, hours after Helena had arrived and she and Carlos were sleeping in his bed, she heard the front door open and close and muffled voices. It probably registered in her brain that that must’ve been them, but she had been so tired to really give it any more thought and fell back asleep. In the morning, she’d forgotten about it. Which was a grave mistake. Of the two, she was the early riser. She slipped from beneath his arm and padded towards the bathroom.

Only to come face to face with a twenty-three year old, shirtless Luke Patterson brushing his teeth. He squeaked in surprise and dropped the toothbrush on the ground. 

‘Wha-?!’, he exclaimed, stumbling to grab it. Helena was shell shocked. 

Awesome. Fucking awesome. Fucking first great impression, Helena. Why not barge in on Julie pooping next?! 

‘Sorry!’, she yelled back, eyes slamming shut to save some propriety and stepped back. ‘I didn’t think anyone would be awake now!’

She ran back to Carlos’s room before he could say anything more, mortified and wanting to be six feet down this instant. The thud of the door stirred him awake - barely. Gosh, a tornado could barge through and he’d _still_ be sleeping.

‘Something happen?’, he mumbled, English and Spanish warbled together. 

‘All the pee in my body has dried up.’

One eye cracked open, amused. ‘Your pee has dried up. Conspiracy?’

She sat down on the bed, sullen. ‘I walked in on Luke. Now his first impression will be that I’m a mindless, dense dimwit that-’

Carlos snorted. ‘You study neuroscience.’

She scowled at him. _‘Not_ the point.’

‘Freck,’ he sighed, ‘Luke is literally the biggest fucking idiot on the planet. You’re fine.’

Falling down next to him, she placed her chin on his chest. ‘Okay. You better be right. And _please_ don’t use that nickname in front of them.’

(A nickname he started using six months into dating. They’d been at a house party and dancing and drinking and it was all amazing and then, he suddenly fluttered his fingers against her cheeks, fond. She jokingly asked him if he thought her freckles were hot and he dumbly nodded. Freckle became Freck and it sort of stuck since then.) 

He wrapped his arms around her, that indefinite amused grin stuck on his lips. ‘Their opinion literally does not matter, but okay. I’ve talked about you with Julie and she already loves you.’

That was news to her. ‘You talk to her about me?’ 

His wide, brown eyes peered at her, the amusement softening to affection. She still wasn’t quite used to it. ‘Because I’m nineteen and I’m the mindless, dense dimwit in this relationship.’

Helena grinned. ‘Are we gonna fight on who has the most difficult major?’

‘I think neuroscience wins over chemistry, no doubt.’

There was a knock on the door. ‘No!’, Carlos yelled, Helena stifling a giggle. 

‘Dude,’ Luke muttered, ‘just tryna apologise.’ A pause. ‘I can tell all the fucked up shit you’ve done before you met her and-’

Carlos groaned, her now full on giggling and telling him to come in. Though she wished to hear all those juicy stories, she couldn’t leave the guy hanging. Fortunately, Luke was fully clothed now. It was weird seeing him up close. No longer on Instagram or billboards or as a prom picture on the mantle when he still had boyish features. He had a scruff and his skin wasn’t perfect and his hair was all over the place. Too built for her taste, but she could see why other people liked that. She was happy Carlos decided to keep his lean physique. 

Most of all, it was weird seeing “The Promise of Rock” (coined by Rolling Stone) trying to get the gunk from his eye. Strange times never ceased.

‘Hey,’ he said eventually, fully walking into the room. ‘Sorry about that. I forgot you would be here and thought you were some crazy fan or something.’

Carlos snorted. ‘Right. Strangers don’t know how uncool you are.’

‘I know!’ Luke’s smile was far too sunny for this slow morning, but it humoured her just how different he and Carlos were. It only made her want to hear those “stories” more! ‘I should just put it in my bio on IG.’

Helena perked up. ‘It’s totally fine though. I should’ve knocked. I’m Helena, by the way.’

His grin became mischievous, one she so often saw on Carlos’s face too. (Huh. So _that_ was where he got it from.) ‘I know. Carlos sent me your first conversations because he was losing his shit and didn’t know what to say.’

Her jaw fell slack, gawking at her boyfriend that looked _this_ close to murdering the guy. It should’ve been something to admonish him about (because, you know, DM’s are meant to be _private_ ), but it was also incredibly sweet. It has been three years too and they’ve been steady, so she couldn’t really start a discussion about this now. 

Helena cooed, tapping his stomach. ‘You were nervous?!’

Luke jumped in all too eager. ‘He was fucking petrified. Didn’t wanna mess up.’

That… was so stinking cute - she could kiss her boyfriend senselessly right now! Carlos, with his stoic exterior and quippy remarks, was anxious to talk to her back then? Her lips pouted from how adorable that was, Carlos sitting upright to peck it away. 

He matched her grin with a shrug. ‘You were like, the prettiest girl of our grade, so yeah.’ 

‘Oh my God! Is this Helena?!’

Sure. This morning was also meant to get weirder by the minute, right? Julie’s head popped up from behind Luke, one beat after her excited exclaim. There she stood, “The Future of Music” (also coined by Rolling Stone) with bedhead, tie-dye joggers and fluffy slippers: Julie Molina. Slipping past him, she went to sit on the bed and reached over to flick Carlos’ forehead. 

‘Ouch!’

‘You should’ve woken me up!’ Her grin shifted back to Helena, also too bright for the early hour. Seeing Luke and Julie together now, she began to understand the coupling. Both with that happy expression regardless of the situation and lived to tease her boyfriend. 

This might be a fun time.

She continued, Helena a little dazed to see the Julie Molina up close. ‘You’re so pretty, I honestly don’t know what you’re doing with me brother, but-’

Carlos groaned. ‘Oh fuck’s sake! Get out!’

Luke snatched Julie hand with a chuckle and pulled each other out the room, Julie slamming the door shut. Shooting him an amused glance, - aw, he was so cute when he got all worked up like that - he shot her one back. She launched herself back in his arms with a laugh. 

‘You were nervous!’

‘Freck!’

The official meeting went on at the breakfast table an hour later. Julie and Luke bulldozered over her with millions of questions and stories, wanting to know every detail about her and her relationship. Though Carlos talked to Julie about her sometimes, they kept their relationship in general pretty private. Not that she wouldn’t boast about her boyfriend, they just didn’t see the need to be “publicly” in love. As if anyone on their timeline cared they went out for dinner.

It was interesting sitting opposite of the couple. They were like, weirdly in sync. Julie would be dumping the yoghurt in her bowl and Luke would grab the honey and cinnamon without her asking to. Or she’d be peeling a clementine and as she was about to give him half, his hand stretched out. It was as if their brains were linked up and could expect what the other was about to do. Really freaky. This has _not_ been covered in her classes yet.

‘It’s so cool that you do neuroscience,’ Julie gushed. ‘I suck at science.’

Luke snorted. ‘I don’t even know the difference between chemistry and physics - sorry Carlos.’

‘Doesn’t surprise me,’ he snarked back. 

Ray came down fifteen minutes later, surprised about the hustle and bustle before nine, and another fifteen minutes later Victoria arrived with peaches from the market. The house was alive with chatter and laughter and it _should’ve_ unnerved her, (so many people that had such close bonds, with her the one sneaking in for three years) but it didn’t. Maybe because of the Spanish that flowed in and out, or the way Carlos visibly mellowed whenever he talked with Victoria. It didn’t matter. She was content. 

Julie was telling her about amazing her freshman roommate (as opposed to Helena’s horrid one), when Ray proposed the four of them should go downtown and “bond more”, which made both Julie and Carlos roll their eyes at his cheesy use of words. 

The synchronicity between Julie and Luke didn’t stop at the table. As Helena got down, she saw they were already waiting by the door. They had their arms wrapped around each other as they talked, both wearing shades of red and black and white, faces twisted into an excitable grin. The perpetual chipper mood was still a surprise. Luke was definitely the bigger optimist, but Julie wasn’t far behind.

‘Ready,’ she smiled. 

Julie slipped out of Luke’s hold, smiling back. Her brow quirked and Spanish tumbled out. ‘Be honest, who is better dressed? Me or Luke? It’s me, right?’

Before she could reply, Luke flicked Julie’s hip. ‘You know I can just, like, follow along?’

She stared at him for a beat and then her face fell, as if she was truly devastated her boyfriend decided to learn a new language for her. ‘Then I can tell you in both languages I look better.’

‘Nah,’ he struck back. ‘I look fucking hot.’ 

Helena was nineteen and _technically_ an adult, but she felt kind of childish standing next to them. Julie has graduated, they were in a band and lived together and had this type of comfortable, unreachable banter. Real ass adults. She tried to picture it with Carlos, but the vision was too fuzzy and, frankly, a little scary. Were they already this effortless by nineteen? Could she ask? 

‘I’m going to side with Julie.’ It came out before she thought about it. Their eyes widened in surprise. ‘She looks better.’

The singer grinned like she won the lottery, fluttering back to Helena’s side and slinging her arm over her shoulder. ‘I like her. You can stay.’

‘As if you have a say in that,’ Carlos teased, walking down the stairs. 

‘Finally,’ Luke breathed. He’d been bouncing on his heels from waiting. ‘Let’s go.’

The following hour was such a “Luke and Julie Overdose” that it made her so happy that she, well, wasn’t them. Carlos and her were wildly different and this was the moment she realised how amazing that was. It started when they piled into Luke’s car and they were hit with the stench of weed. Though it unfazed the couple, Carlos had to whisper in her ear that Alex either slept, ate, drummed or smoked weed. Hence the awful smell. Helena has gone to frat parties and was familiar with it, but it was never this concentrated in one closed off space. Julie began joking about it though, opening the glove compartment and joking to “take a gander”, meanwhile Luke was sifting through all the radio stations at a lighting speed, the music blurring together. It was a lot. They were a lot.

(Eventually Julie slapped his hand away and plugged her phone in the aux. Still - it was _a lot_ and it didn’t help that the playlist was so eclectic she was constantly being surprised by a new genre or song.)

Then, mid-conversation with Julie, Luke began drumming on her thigh and yelled that “I got it! I finally got it! Babe, the bridge - we’ve been doing it all wrong!” which resulted in a speedy back and forth neither Carlos or she understood, them sharing amused glances as it happened. They ended up playing Trivia Crack on his phone, her cheek pressed against his shoulder. The tsunami of music jargon didn’t pass until they parked. 

The sun beat down on them as they stepped out. It was crowded today, the streets swarming with shoppers and people eating out. Ray’s idea to bond didn’t seem super appealing when kids were yelling in the distance and she’d be fighting over an Urban Outfitters dress with some random girl.

Luke draped his arm around Julie’s neck to pull her in for a kiss, nose curling when he did. ‘You taste like peaches.’

Julie grinned, holding his cheeks. ‘You can taste that?’

He frowned. ‘You don’t taste mango on me?’

‘No!’, she laughed. ‘How would I even do that?’

Tsking, his hand dropped to her waist and began walking. ‘Weak senses, Jules. Get on my level.’

The day went as she thought it would. They got smoothies and wandered the streets and went into shops whenever someone felt like it. Though this excursion was meant to be “bonding” (the more she thought of it, the more ridiculous it sounded; this wasn’t a playdate between five year olds), Julie and Luke were hanging onto each other and barely looked behind them. Carlos didn’t seem to mind either. It made her warm inside. Not bonding meant more time together. And yeah, she wanted to make a good impression, but Julie and Luke were so unapologetically themselves (which was really goofy) that it didn’t really matter. 

He was talking about an upcoming Netflix movie that they should watch, when she interrupted him. 

‘How long have they been together?’, she whispered, eyeing the couple in front. 

He watched as Luke laughed at joke Julie said. ‘Since junior year.’

She smiled. ‘Cute.’

‘No,’ he snorted. Though he looked amused, it was tinged with frustration. ‘It’s stressful.’

Stressful? Frowning, she slipped her hand in his. ‘Why?’

Carlos looked at her for a beat, eyes flickering across her face with uncertainty. ‘Because I also started dating you in junior year, and they’re this “perfect couple”, that… you know, if we broke up, it would be like I did it wrong. Like I didn’t read a recipe right. I don’t know.’

Her frown deepened, hand tightening. ‘Wait, you want to break up?’

He gaped at her. ‘What? No! Is that what I said? If I did, then I didn’t mean that.’ Helena relaxed again. His whole spiel had been so rambly she hadn’t been sure. ‘No. What we have _is_ good, but whenever I’m around them, I just feel like I have to prove it somehow.’

‘That’s dumb,’ she put bluntly. Because it was. Since when did they care about proving themselves to each other? They already had enough to bitch about with their schooling. 

He laughed at her bluntness. ‘I know.’

Because his smile was infectious, she smiled too and pulled him closer. ‘Then don’t. Like you said, we’re good. We’re great! Why be overzealous about it?’

His eyes went back to the couple and then she understood. Julie and Luke were the _definition_ of overzealous. Always touching, always quick back and forth like there was no tomorrow. Like she thought before: it was cute, but exhausting. The fact that Carlos thought he had to compete with that when he was perfect in his own way, saddened her. 

‘Maybe I was just waiting for that big “oh my God, my soulmate has arrived”-moment Luke loves to go on about,’ he mused with a roll of the eye. ‘I think they just like to be fake deep and then use that in their songs or something.’

‘We’re not poets though,’ she giggled. ‘I’m not going to write you millions of love songs. I can just say it to your face. Take it or leave it.’

Her words broke every line in his face, smile stretching from ear to ear. ‘I’m taking it.’

‘Well then.’ She looked in both his eyes. Left, right, left, right. A prettier shade of brown didn’t exist. ‘I love you.’

He kissed her full on the lips, nose rubbing hers. ‘Love you too, Freck,’ he whispered. 

‘Aw!’, Julie cooed. The couple has stopped walking. How long have they been listening in? ‘You call her Freck?!’

Helena and Carlos shot each other a look, shrugging. Now that his insecurities were out of the way…

‘Yeah,’ Helena grinned, tucking herself deeper into his side. Who cared if she was nineteen and basically a child - she and Carlos loved each other in their own way and that was enough. ‘He calls me Freck.’

_because i'm extra i made their ig accounts of this moment in time ur welcome_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRECK SUPREMACY  
> EVERYONE TALKS SPANISH SUPREMACY  
> NO ONE FEELS INADEQUATE SUPREMACY


	28. senior year of high school - part eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dreaded day has arrived. Everyone hide! It's Valentine's Day and Julie and Luke are in love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE HAVE OFFICIALLY REACHED THE PINNACLE OF ROMANCE! At a certain point in the story, they're diegetically listening to "unravel me" by sabrina claudio, and i'd recommend listening to it then as well to fully understand what they're thinking/talking about. 
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

It was the day everyone feared. The dreaded February fourteenth. Fucking Valentine’s Day. Not only was it just a shit, capitalistic holiday that meant virtually nothing, it also meant that Julie and Luke would be unmanageable. They've been together for a year and four months now and if it were any other couple, no one would even bat an eye. Wasn’t like anyone was annoyed Yousef and Daisy were dating. But they weren’t Julie and Luke.

Because Julie and Luke were fucking annoying. 

> **NICK**

He should’ve emotionally prepared himself better. Though he wasn’t hung up on Julie anymore (after the revelation that, _oh yeah,_ they were in love - thanks, Jordan), it didn’t mean he had to stop preparing. Now, he just had to ready himself for the storm that was the couple together. It was like the movie Jurassic Park where the water in the glass began to shake and tremble to indicate terror was coming. This day was _that._

Julie was at her locker, him seven lockers to her left, a ridiculous smile smacked on her lips before Luke has even arrived. She wasn’t wearing red, but her wide-legged jeans with hearts painted on was kind of a giveaway about what she was thinking when she got dressed this morning. 

Maybe he should do the entire school a favour and just start talking to her. Begin a conversation about dance class or Mendoza’s weird assignments or which arrangement she was thinking of for the spring recital, just so that no one had to witness The First Meeting Times A Million.

But then it was too late. 

Luke paraded down the hall with that bouncy step of his (which he used to think of as “swagger” - it wasn’t), grinning from ear to ear when he caught sight of Julie. Nick was truly wondering when they’d stop the notion of “sneaking up on her” when they had been doing that since the start of time. 

Grabbing her into a tight hug from behind and kissing her neck, he uttered with a teasing lilt: ‘Happy V-Day, Jules.’

She turned around just as giddy, Luke’s hands trailing from her waist to her thighs to pull her even closer. Alright. Fuck the rules, he guessed. Then again, teachers were probably tired of them too.

Her nose nudged his, amused. ‘Babe, “V-Day” is an activist movement.’

His face went white. ‘What?’

‘It’s to end violence against women. Also today, but I don’t think you were implying that when you said it to me.’

‘I mean-’, he stuttered, hands falling from her legs as if he’s been burned. ‘Both? I support both?’

Julie laughed at his fumbling and chastely gave him a kiss. ‘Good save.'

But then she leaned back and he chased after her and the good start they had (minimal touching, Luke being an idiot), vanished away. Nick slammed his locker shut. Nope. He did not have to see two teenagers making out at nine in the morning. He did not have to embarrass himself more by watching his previous crush get pressed against her locker. Catching Jordan’s eye, he ran his direction and didn’t look back. 

> **FLYNN**

‘Patterson,’ she snarked. ‘Get off my best friend. No sex in the hallway.’

Luke pulled back with a squeak at the loud remark, a breathless Julie laughing at Flynn. She was severely unimpressed though. (She also owed Alex five dollars. Gah! How could she know they’d have a full-on make out session before first period?!) 

Julie rolled her eyes. ‘We were just kissing, Flynn.’

‘Which is forbidden in the hallways.’ Quirking a brow, she added: ‘I’m all for you getting what you want, Jules, but maybe in private? Try that broom closet again?’

They made a face. ‘Not a chance,’ Luke said.

‘Whatever.’ Directing her gaze back to Julie, she allowed herself to feel some excitement for her best friend; This was their first, real Valentine’s Day! Last year, it had only been four months and they were still figuring out how to be an actual couple. Now however, anything was possible. ‘What are the plans for today?’

The bell rang, all three moving with the stream of students towards English. Julie’s hand slipped into Luke’s. 

‘We’re going to get waffles at lunch,’ Julie began, ‘and not lose track of time.’

Luke hummed, eyes gleaming with mirth, and pulled her closer. ‘No promises.’

‘Yes promises.’

Tilting her chin, (could they for one second not be a couple and talk to Flynn like normal humans?!) he gave her one of those illegal smile Flynn knew Julie had a hard time refusing. ‘You're saying that because it’s right or because you actually want to?’

She flicked his fingers away. ‘I don’t _skip,_ Luke.’

‘What about the broom closet?’

‘Lapse of judgement.’

Just as Flynn was about to express how proud she was for Julie standing her ground, the girl melted back into a kiss and her resolve _visibly_ waned. It felt weirdly regressive for feminist reasons, but then again: wasn’t Flynn the one saying that Julie should go for what she wants? And if that was a midday booty call…? Ugh. This day should just be cancelled.

‘Guys,’ she sighed, nearing the classroom. ‘Teachers. Compose. Please.’

They pulled apart before the teacher saw (or if they _did_ see, they were too tired of their shit to care) and gave her a sheepish grin. Honestly, let them skip the afternoon classes. No one wanted to see them being mushy, gushy, gooey anyway! Maybe she should add Carlos to the group chat too, have him in on the fun and give him another tool to cope with the couple. She’s heard him complain many times about “Gooey Luke.” Then again, the group chat wasn’t super PG and Carlos was barely fourteen - maybe in a couple of years. 

(Yup. Three years later, he’d get added under the nickname of “The Cooler Molina” and fill them in on all the stuff they didn’t see. It was fucking amazing. Simultaneously, Luke and Julie were spamming Flynn that Carlos was sort of dating someone and was freaking out over text. In conclusion: _none_ of the Molina’s were cool.) 

Luckily, they did focus when class started, giving everyone a fifty minute reprieve. Flynn did notice the way Luke’s fingers circled around her knee and that Julie sat a little closer than usual, but she couldn’t really ask for anything less than that. 

> **MO**

The Waffle House was a great place. It paid decently well, it had a perpetual smell of baked goods, people were in a good mood because of the sugar rush and it overall just had a great vibe. The vibe didn’t _lessen_ during Valentine’s Day, but the employees just had to deal with couples doing the absolute most when they probably _didn’t do_ the absolute most the 364 other days of the year. It was awkward. Like, why force the love when you could just act normal, right?

That was his belief - but Mo hadn’t seen Luke and Julie yet. 

The couple walked in during lunch and he instantly knew he was in for a ride. The girl rushed in first, laughing as she looked over her shoulder, the boy running in a beat later and grabbing her by the waist. He chucked her back like she was a sack of potatoes and slammed his hands on the register. The realisation that these upperclassmen had been _racing_ to a _waffle establishment_ almost made Mo chortle. Oh, man. This oughta be good. 

‘You have got to stop doing that!’, the girl heaved, going to stand next to him. ‘It’s not fair!’

He grinned down at her, snapping his fingers. ‘What’s the quote again? Something about love and war?’

She blinked, unimpressed. ‘All is fair in love and war?’

‘Exactly.’ Slinging his arm around her shoulder, he added: ‘There are no rules.’

The pause on her end was all the more hilarious, especially when her eyes crossed with Mo’s in a way that was like: _I love this fool and I’m sorry you have to witness this._

‘You’re lucky you’re cute, babe,’ she teased, earning her a playful scowl of the boyfriend. Then, she finally addressed Mo. ‘Hi, we’d like two Belgian waffles deluxe with whipped cream.’

The boy squeezed her shoulder. ‘Should we get something to share too? I’m kinda looking at that vanilla pie…’

Her nose curled up. ‘Vanilla?’

‘It’s underrated as hell, Jules.’

Jules shook her head. ‘No, I don’t want it.’ Then, her smile turned suggestive. ‘What about another dessert after?’

Mo stilled, finger frozen above the register as his eyes flitted between the couple. Jules was staring up at him all giddy while the guy was puzzled. Slowly, realisation dawned upon him and the arm around her tightened. 

‘Uh, yeah. Sounds- sounds good.’ He coughed and turned back to Mo with a pressed smile. ‘Just the waffles.’

Mo couldn’t even hide his amusement, lips quirked. ‘On it.’

The couple sat next to each other in a booth, bodies turned towards one another as they talked and ate. While Mo was busy tending to the other customers too and was continuously helping Charlotte with the waffles in the back, it was undeniably noticeable how _in love_ those teens were. Though it was Valentine’s Day, it was obvious this wasn’t just a one off thing. They were always like this - or at least most days. It was fucking adorable. Mo didn’t think he’d ever seen a teenage boy so soft and fond for a girl. Or a teenage girl so ready to take it all in and then double it. Mature, was the word he was looking for. But then, like, amplified with cuteness since they were so young and probably very naïve in other aspects of life. 

(“Juxtaposition!”, his sister would yell had she been here right now. That girl _got off_ on these types of couples - fucking English Lit major.)

But then the boy pulled the girl into his lap and began heavily making out with her. Like, weaving-hands-in-hair-and-tongue-down-throat making out. Nope. Not cute or adorable anymore. Just gross. Though kissing wasn’t against shop policy, their waffles were finished and Mo didn’t want to make the other customers uncomfortable. (In any other situation, he’d be impressed by their sheer lack of fucks to give. Alas, he was an employee and this was not a frat party.) Just as he mustered the courage to go up to them (breaking up kissing people - gah!), they broke apart themselves and scrambled out the shop with a giggle. 

He guffawed. The _other_ dessert was more appealing, huh? 

> **NOUR**

Ew. She didn’t see it, but she _heard_ it as she passed! Why, Valentine’s Day, why?!

> **ALEX**

If he could roll his eyes back further, he would’ve. It shouldn’t have surprised him Luke got Julie to skip the first class after lunch. Inevitable - but he had also hoped the girl was stronger then that. 

Luke had been going on and on about what an amazing day it was going to be, and it was _actually_ working out in his favour. Meanwhile, Alex wouldn’t be able to see Willie until late tonight when he was done with his lectures and work. Alex liking older, more mature guys was biting him in the ass right now, but whatever. At least him and Willie weren’t idiots like his idiot friends. 

(Others were willing to argue with that, but that was _a whole_ other point. Luke and Reggie would say Alex became starry-eyed around Willie and the girls would say Willie got super extra. Like, doing the absolute most to get a reaction from Alex when all either had to do was smile and they were goo. Alright. Maybe they were slight idiots.)

The couple waltzed in during sixth period, sitting down and continuing their whispers. Luke didn't even try to hide the hickey on his neck. Fools. They had a minute to compose before the teacher came in. 

‘Would it be too last minute to ask Kayla out?’, Reggie mused, scribbling doodles in his notebook. ‘Wouldn’t be out of left field, right?’

Alex shrugged. ‘She thinks you’re cute, so.’

The pen clattered out of his hand. ‘What? Why didn’t you tell me that sooner?’

‘Thinking someone’s cute is kind of meaningless, Reg. You think everyone’s cute.’

‘Yeah,’ he deadpanned. ‘Because _everyone_ is cute. This school is like, weirdly attractive.’

Alex went back to the topic at hand. ‘You can try. I don’t know what she’ll say. Maybe she already has a date. I don’t know.’

He shook his head. ‘She told the group last night she didn’t - you didn’t see?’

A smile crawled on his lips. ‘I was with Willie. No phones when we’re together.’ The teacher walked in and Alex whirled around instantly, throwing a pencil at Luke’s forehead. The guy sprung up in surprise, nearly jabbing his elbow in Julie’s face and mouthing “dude!” his direction. He rolled his eyes and pointed at his neck. Luke frowned. 

Julie - bless her - got the message and pulled on the collar of Luke’s shirt. It didn’t fully hide it, but it wasn’t on display either. The guy finally got it and grinned mischievously, lips close to her ear to say something. Julie’s eyes widened. They weren’t even _trying_ to be subtle anymore.

(When Willie pranced around with a hickey hours later, Alex kind of got it. He didn’t pull on his collar and rather enjoyed the view. Damn. Julie and Luke knew what they were doing.) 

> **REGGIE**

He wasn’t jealous of Julie and Luke, but he’d be lying if they didn’t make him feel lonely sometimes. 

They didn’t do it on purpose, obviously, but they’d be rehearsing and the couple would start serenading instead of singing (for “performance purposes,” Luke always said) or Julie and him would be making friendship bracelets (an obsession he recently picked up) and Luke would start facetiming her or- or anything! He loved his friends and wished them the best, but it often made him realise how he _didn’t_ have that. The realistic part of him knew that there were plenty of fish in the sea and that the pond would widen once he went to college, but the emotional, ever-present, part just wanted someone to hold. Or maybe he was hormonal. Probably both. Either way, Valentine’s Day sucked. 

It could suck less if he had the guts to ask Kayla, but they’ve been friends for like, a year now, and he didn’t wanna fuck that up. But then Alex told him Kayla found him cute and damn - his mind only went in one direction now. Kayla found him cute, Kayla found him cute. Cute equalled attraction. Attraction equalled possible chance of a date. A date equalled not feeling lonely. Life really was that easy sometimes.

They were sitting in groups during music class under the guise of collaboration, though everyone was just talking to their friends. Harrison didn’t seem to mind. Maybe she was focused on the date she and Mr. Harrison would go on!

‘What’s with the face, Reg?’, Luke asked. Julie’s legs were thrown over his, fingers stroking and scratching the fabric. That hickey of his was out in the open and only amplified Reg’s emotions. 

The boy surged forward as if to impart a secret. Kayla was on the other side of the room with Dirty Candy, but he couldn’t risk it. ‘Does Kayla think I’m cute?’

Julie blinked. ‘I thought that was general knowledge.’

‘What?!’

‘Yeah, dude,’ Luke laughed. ‘Even I knew that. That’s like, old news.’

Reg felt like a Looney Toons character. Eyes popping out of the sockets, legs flailing in the air. ‘Why did no one tell _me?’_

‘Because you didn’t react to it, so we thought you didn’t care,’ Flynn shrugged, an inquisitive smile playing on her lips. ‘You do _now,_ though. Spill.’

He glanced over his shoulder, Kayla catching his stare and smiling at him. Looking back, he said: ‘So, hypothetically, I could ask her out and she’d say yes.’

The girls shared an exasperated look. Julie sent him a pained smile. ‘You do realise she now knows you’re talking about her, right?’

The guys frowned. ‘Huh?’, Luke said. 

Alex looked ready to die. ‘I hate each and every one of you. Reg, you stared at her, she _looked back,_ and then you started talking to us like a fucking spy.’

He didn’t get it. ‘That’s good though. I _am_ talking about her.’

Flynn’s expression morphed into one when she helped the band with gigs, hands leaning on her knees. ‘If you don’t do anything now she’s going to think you’re gossiping about her. As in, the _bad_ kind.’

Reggie looked past all their faces and they all gravely nodded. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 

His tone was horrified. ‘Alright. I’ll ask her.’

Luke nodded, supportive. ‘Just be super cool about it.’

Alex snorted. ‘What do you know about being cool? You cornered Julie in the kitchen and then made out with her.’

The couple shared a surprised, aghast look. ‘How do you know that?!’, Julie exclaimed. 

‘Willie saw,’ the blonde shrugged. 

‘Me too,’ added Reg. 

‘Uh, what the fuck?’ Flynn flared with anger. ‘How did I _not_ know?’

An ashamed Julie dropped her head on Luke’s shoulder. ‘Because a first kiss outside the studio is far more romantic than Luke saying I look “illegal”.’

The boy pouted. ‘Hey! _I_ thought it was romantic and I was nervous as hell.’

Her smile softened as she kissed his cheek, that surge of loneliness once again pressing in Reggie’s chest and promptly making him stand up. ‘It was to me - Reggie? What’re you doing?’

The group stared at him. A victorious grin crawled on his face. ‘I’m going to ask her. Right here, right now!’

Alex remained unfazed. ‘In class? With Carrie ready to claw anyone’s eyes out that come close to her girls?’

‘Yup.’

Luke and Flynn saluted. ‘Adieu,’ the girl proclaimed. ‘Nice to have known ya,’ Luke professed. Julie rolled her eyes at their antics. 

‘It’s going to be fine, Reggie. Go for it!’ Despite her words, Reg saw the uncertainty in her eyes, but he supposed this encouragement was all he could ask for. He took a deep breath, turned on his heels, and went into the dragon’s den. 

(Kayla said yes. Carrie did look ready to gauge his eyes out. The other girls found it adorable though. They went laser shooting and got hot dogs and after, he kissed her. She tasted like mustard and smelled like lavender and it was absolutely _perfect.)_

> _  
> _**CARLOS**

He barely looked up as Julie and Luke ran inside laughing, jumping up the stairs and the door slamming shut. 

‘Dad?’

‘Music?’ It came from the other side of the house. 

‘Yup.’

A resigned pause. ‘Suggestion?’

‘Rock.’ He made a face. ‘No wait! They like that. Uh-’

‘Reggae?’

He sighed, cringing when he heard stumbling and muffled giggles. ‘Whatever.’

> **RAY**

He really hadn’t been prepared raising a teenage daughter by himself, jesus fucking christ. 

> **JULIE**

All day, she had been ready to cry from pure happiness. She has so unbelievably and unconditionally in love with Luke and it _ached._ It ached, it ached, it ached. From the butterflies in her stomach when she pulled on her jeans to the first peck in the neck to looking into his sea glass green eyes as he talked about an idea he had at Waffle House to giggling in the backseat and having him say her name as she bit his neck, to now. 

She was so fucking in love her heart was going to explode. 

His red henley hung on her body as they danced and kissed with the hum of reggae downstairs. It must look ridiculous to anyone else - him in his boxers and her in just that henley and panties, but they were _in love, in love, in love._

He breathed against her lips. ‘I know this is partly because of V-Day -’

‘Luke,’ she giggled. 

‘You know what I mean,’ he grinned, starting again. ‘I know it’s partly because of today, but I wanna do this every day. I wanna have an excuse to be like this every day.’

‘I think I can only handle Flynn’s murderous eyes once a year.’

He wrapped his arms around her and fell back on her bed. His smile was so bright she had to kiss it, had to feel that smile against hers. He wanted this every day, have every day be this giddy and amazing and perfect. She knew that wasn’t achievable, but the sentiment remained. _Let’s stay like this forever._

She nodded, noses brushing. ‘I almost wanna skip the concert.’

‘Almost?’

‘I mean,’ she trailed, making a face. ‘It’s still Sabrina Claudio and The 1975. Kind of a perfect combination.’

He pulled her closer, eyes shining. ‘I’m _almost_ as good as them?’

She hummed. All she could see was him. All she loved was him. He was everything. ‘And you’d agree.’

His languid, warm kiss made her forget about the concert in a snap. They had two hours to spare anyway. 

> **LUKE**

He never wanted this day to end. From seeing her in those jeans to having her melt against him to that tease in the waffle house to loving her a little more in the backseat to twirling her in his arms with the dull rhythm of reggae in the background. All day, her adoring smile burned in his eye, him never looking away as if she’d disappear and he had to memorise the pull of her lip. 

He was so fucking in love his heart was going to explode.

Julie was back in those jeans (somehow, they were hotter than her leather pair), a sweater pulled over her top as the air had cooled down. Luke was sifting through Spotify, filling the queue with the right songs for their drive to the concert. City lights flickered past them, encasing the car in a yellowy-blue glow - though one could argue their smiles already lit up the space. 

(Fuck, man. That thought was even mushy for him. This day was really affecting him.) 

He smirked as he placed the phone back in the middle console and she grabbed his hand. ‘Sad we’re going?’

She quirked a brow, one that drove him insane regardless of what she was going to say. ‘You’re implying you’re _better_ than music?’

He puffed, unconvinced. ‘Does _music_ get you off?’

‘Uh, yeah.’ She shot him a confused glance. ‘I thought we had that in common.’

Oh, right. Fuck, she was right. It was in moments like these he cursed how open they were about, well, everything. There was no way to hide when it came to Julie. Then again, that made their relationship so amazing. After their big fight last summer, everything fell into place. He’s never felt so secure about anything - not even music - in his life. (He wished his parents saw that. Maybe they’d change their minds by graduation?)

He kissed her palm to distract. Though her eyes were on the road, he saw she was smiling. He kissed her palm again. ‘So what’s the conclusion, boss?’

Julie rolled her eyes and brought their hands to her chest, where he felt her heart beating a mile a minute. He sighed, fingers clenching. That answered it, huh? He brought their tangle to his chest and she heard the same. _This_ was better than music. The beating of their hearts synced and never out of tune.

Their hands let go. The ride was relatively quiet, both relishing the moment and the music flowing between. _It’s her, it’s her, it’s her._ If he could freeze time, he would.

The concert was amazing. Sabrina Claudio kicked it off with a forty-five minute set, her sultry voice and deep instrumentals lulling the audience into a trance. Julie and him were in the pit, smack in the middle and shrouded in darkness and hazy purple lighting. Her back pressed in his chest, his arms around hers. Both bodies swaying, so fucking happy to be here. Luke was in heaven. Like, there wasn’t another way to describe it. Julie locked in his touch and his lips on her neck and that all-encompassing aroma of peach shampoo and something inherently Julie. The final song, “Unravel Me”, one with the hardest bass that trembled the ground and drilled between ribs, made Julie turn in his hold and kiss him fully. There, in the middle of everything, all he felt, experienced, touched, was her. _It’s her, it’s her, it’s her._ They weren’t interrupted by classmates or the scoff of a stranger now. This was the fucking epicentre of love, annotated with Sabrina’s lyrics. 

Luke wanted to cry. The song, this fucking song, was exactly the way their hearts beat in the car. This was it. The thing they’ve been searching for. And Julie knew it too, her lips curling into a smile as she nodded. 

‘Can we plagiarise it?’, he whispered.

She softly laughed, the sound alone making him hold her closer (was it even possible?). ‘Let’s cover it first.’

‘Okay.’ He paused for a beat, opening his eyes to find her already staring back. ‘I love you, Jules. Like, a crazy fucking amount.’

Her chin pressed into his chest, the beautiful brown of her irises shimmering in the purple. ‘Let me double that.’

‘You can’t,’ he chuckled, brushing her cheek. ‘You physically can’t.’

Her eyes squinted, amused. ‘Emotionally?’

‘Also no.’

The way she then kissed him made him doubt his statement, passionate and warm and fingers pressing into his neck and hair. There was little she had to do to tip him over the edge. 

‘I love you, Luke,’ she whispered. _‘So_ much.’

There was no joke or mirth or tease to be found in her voice. It was true. And he knew it was true. He never doubted that. But every time it rattled him all the same. Maybe because of his fucked up family, maybe because he still sometimes felt undeserving of her (though that has lessened after the fight), maybe because she was simply so goddamn incredible and wickedly beautiful. At the end of the day, all of that didn’t matter. Julie loved him. 

In that moment, Luke truly thought time stood still. Her eyes on his, that full smile solely for him, the buzz of the amps falling silent as the music neared its end, the purple lights dimming. Only they were here. 

(Let’s do this again, Jules. Let’s do this forever.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my best valentine's day was last year. i was at a karaoke club with my friends with every other single person having the time of our fucking lives. we climbed on top of the bar and sang "gimme gimme gimme" by abba drunk as shit and everyone ate it up. what has been your best valentine? or what would you love to do someday?


	29. the adolescent years - part seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wintery day in New York City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel weirdly melancholic about this chapter. maybe because i had soup and wine today. that always makes me feel melancholic. 
> 
> edited | tumblr: @lydias--stiles

> **PABLO**

Sipping on his coffee, he watched as the people trickled to the meet-up spot, all huddled in big coats and maps clenched between their hands. It was yet another day of snow, but that didn’t stop city people from pounding the pavement nor tourists from exploring. Snow crunched beneath his ratty Timberlands, secretly content. Pablo loved the wintertime. 

‘It’s so _cold!’_ Pablo looked up at sound, bright and high, though didn’t see the girl where it came from. Her face was burrowed in a guy’s chest, swallowed by the puffy sleeves of his jacket.

The guy smiled, hands stroking her back and hair to warm her up. ‘Saying it won’t make you less cold,’ he joked.

The girl’s face appeared, eyebrows furrowed like what he said truly offended her, and gripped his back tighter. ‘I’m waiting for you to finally feel cold to, as like, solidarity.’

He grinned, head dropping to hers with glimmering green eyes. ‘If I do, you won’t hug me. My oven-ness keeps you here.’

She closed the small distance with a kiss, their smiles melting together. ‘True,’ she whispered.

Alright. A couple during these city guides weren’t ideal, since they usually didn’t follow along and ignore everything he said, but whatever. The group of twelve would distract Pablo from their cutesiness.

‘Welcome,’ he exclaimed, claiming the attention of the assigned tourists, ‘to the NYC tour. We’ll be walking for two hours, it’s cold, so I hope you’re all well-dressed.’

The girl puffed, the guy snickering next to her. 

‘Please stay close, I’ll be talking about history, architecture, culture and the hidden gems around Manhattan and Brooklyn. The botanical garden in the Bronx is normally part of the tour, but it’s closed due to the winter. All ready?’

The group hummed, excited and intrigued, and clutched onto their friends and significant others, as though the tides of New York would whisk them away. Then again, Pablo has heard NYC was “intense” for newcomers. He wouldn’t know - born and raised, baby! 

It was routine for Pablo. The way his voice heightened whenever they passed a landmark and he told a “fun fact” to invoke excitement, or dropped whenever they passed a NYC staple as it were a secret, or he made a joke that was filed in his brain under “city guide”. Even though there wasn’t much variety to the job, the people were always different. Sometimes they shared a story with him and that was quite nice. Or perhaps the best thing was, during duller moments when they just had to walk some blocks, to listen in on conversations. The couple from before was _especially_ entertaining. 

‘Jules,’ he exclaimed, squeezing her side. ‘This is already so much better than LA. People are _rude_ here. I just saw someone spit against someone’s shoes!’

Aha. LA people. That explained the girl’s inability to handle the cold. If Pablo wasn’t the guide right now, he would’ve sneered. LA and NYC did not get along and would never get along. Too nice, too polite, too… sparkly. 

She looked up, unsure. ‘And that’s… a good thing?’

‘It’s hella 90s!’

‘We’re from 2003,’ she deadpanned. 

His face fell. ‘You know me and the boys are going for that aesthetic. I’m just saying, if we ever get bored of LA…’

Her expression changed to something softer and suddenly, Pablo realised who they were. He hadn’t seen it before, maybe because they were huddled in coats and scarves and beanies and not in leather and under the lights, but these people were Julie Molina and Luke Patterson. This was Julie and a fucking phantom, part of his tour guide! Holy shit! They were still relatively underground despite being signed with Atlantic, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t listen to “Bright” twenty times in a row when it got released. Holy fucking shit! 

But NYC was _chill. Not_ LA. Pablo was, therefore, _super chill_ about this. Totally. Twenty-somethings did not start freaking about other twenty-somethings. Oh, man. Weren’t they engaged too? Should he Google it to double check? This was fucking insane. 

Pablo had a job to do though, so he kept going without making known he’d rather get a picture with them. Wait - now that he knew, should he sign an NDA or something? He just listened in on some pretty personal conversations. Fucking moving questions! 

They passed Times Square and Pablo laughed. He couldn’t stop it. It just happened. There they were, their faces smacked on the largest billboards to promote their new EP on Spotify - CHIMERA, which was stellar - with Julie is a purple haze and glossy eyeshadow. Some tourists shared a confused look and then Pablo had to say it. 

‘You guys want a pic with your billboard?’

Luke perked up, surprised, quickly shifting to excitement and dragging a giggling Julie to the right spot for Pablo to take a picture. Some people on the tour began to piece it together and looked rather stunned, though didn’t approach them. Yep. 1-0 for NYC, you assholes. 

Julie jumped in his arms and locked her legs around his waist, him holding her up with one arm and the other holding out a rock sign. Both had the brightest of beams on their faces, condensation puffing between them. Julie seemed to have forgotten about the cold.

‘Done,’ Pablo grinned after about twenty.

Letting her legs fall back, she came to peer over Pablo’s shoulder and _holy shit Julie Molina was breathing the same air as him._ Stay cool. Stay fucking cool. 

‘Thank you so much,’ she gushed. ‘Can you dm us those?’

He nodded. ‘Sure! No problem.’

‘Ya see, Jules,’ Luke snarked, wrapping her in his chest and placing his head on her shoulder to kiss her jaw. ‘They don’t give a fuck about us here.’

Not entirely right, Pablo concluded, based on the infinite restraint he needed to not ask them for a pic. But he couldn’t say that. Instead, he smiled at them again and resumed the tour, some elderly couple coming to talk to the artists. 

The lady murmured, intrigued: ‘That was you guys on the advertisement?’ 

‘Yep,’ Luke quipped, ‘that was Julie not dying from the cold but equally as pretty.’

The girl rolled her eyes. ‘Complimenting me won’t make us move, babe.’

His voice lilted mischievously. ‘Just saying the truth.’

‘We’re in a band,’ Julie continued explaining. ‘Spotify just does these random boosts so the non-music people check their explore page again.’

‘That’s neat,’ the older man uttered; ‘We’ll, uh, _check_ you guys out then!’

‘Thanks,’ Julie said. 

‘Tell your friends!’, added Luke. 

A pause fell, the older couple dispersing and Julie and Luke falling silent. Suddenly, a tap on his shoulder. They were directly behind him, arms still wrapped around and both with apologetic smiles curled on their lips. 

He quirked a brow. ‘You guys have a question?’

‘We’re actually going,’ Luke grimaced. “Didn’t wanna just sneak off without you knowing.’ 

‘It has nothing to do with you,’ Julie added, ‘I’m just a baby that can’t handle the cold and my hands are _this_ close to being blue and dead.’

He clicked his tongue. ‘Dramatic.’

She gently slapped his chest. ‘You’re craving hot chocolate too, don’t even lie.’

Grabbing her hand before it fell back, he nodded sternly, as if joking. ‘Very true.’

Pablo cut in. It seemed like they cold keep the banter going forever if no one interrupted, which honestly, sounded really exhausting. Cute on that WIRED Autocomplete Interview, not so much here. 

He shrugged. ‘Yeah, sure, you’re gonna miss SoHo though.’

She dismissed it with a thick glove. ‘It’s fine. We were doing this to see the botanical garden, but since it’s closed…’ Shrugging, she concluded: ‘Anyway, we’re not your problem anymore.’

Pablo laughed, because that might be the funniest shit someone ever told him to his face, and shook his head. ‘Yeah, cool. Have a nice trip, guys.’

Luke beamed, suddenly so boyish and young and not twenty-four. Pablo was merely twenty-seven, but the smile between them felt oddly familial, like this was his younger brother with his new girlfriend. But they’ve been together for ages, Pablo knew, and therefore probably knew things he would never know about life. About growing up. About experiencing key parts of life with someone close-by. Julie and Luke, he decided, probably knew more about the world than a whole lot of other people. 

After they said their goodbyes and thanks, Pablo began babbling about Central Park as the group neared the site. The couple, a purple puffer jacket and a big Patagonia coat, the rising stars of the 21st century, disappeared in the buzzing masses of New York. 

Shit. He should’ve asked for a picture. 

> **CECILY**

Holy shit. Luke Patterson and Julie Molina just walked into _her_ coffee bar. Was this happening because she watched Notting Hill twice yesterday? Was this the universe manifesting for her? Did her crystals finally start working? The amethyst grew warm against her skin, the necklace suddenly heavy. She almost didn’t come in today, that morning a little hangover from the wine she drank (because duh, she was watching Notting Hill), but thank God for perseverance and healing stones - cause this was two fourths of Julie and The Phantoms right in front of her nose. 

But this was NYC. People were cool. Chill. They didn’t gush or scream or coo. Julie and Luke were human too. Cecily didn’t grow up here, but it was kind of expected of you to follow the city social code once you moved here. She couldn’t fuck it up for the people. 

Right now, the couple held similar expressions as they peered at the chalkboard behind her, three fingers absentmindedly rubbing her shoulder. 

‘Can I…’ she started, voice so clear and distinctive Cecily nearly flushed red. ‘Have a white chocolate milk? With whipped cream and those mini marshmallows?’

Cecily composed herself and pulled on her Service Worker Smile. ‘Yeah, and you?’

It was hard not to stare at Luke either. They were both even more attractive in real life than in their music videos or Instagram, which felt rude. Who allowed them to be _prettier_ in real life? His wide, green eyes locked on her with a matching smile. 

‘The same but with dark chocolate and soy milk, please.’ Before she could nod, he perked up. _‘Ooh,_ Jules. Should we get something else? I’m looking at that pie…’

Julie’s expression turned so incredibly soft as his voice trailed, looking up at him with shiny, brown eyes. ‘You’re trying pecan pie for me?’

‘Of course,’ he muttered. ‘The bullet points were very convincing.’

Cecily didn’t know what to do. Should she… grab it? Would that interrupt this cute, romantic moment? How in the world was it even possible to be romantic with your partner in the middle of a busy coffee shop, smacked right in the heart of NYC? This wasn’t a cute book store in London or a bodega in Paris. There were rats outside gnawing on the shoe of a homeless man. It was honestly admirable. 

Julie pecked his cheek and rubbed his red pullover. ‘Then I’m getting the vanilla cake.’

He grinned. ‘Yeah?’

She hummed, directing her gaze back to Cecily and both pretended this was completely normal. If Cecily had been ten years younger, she’d freak out on Twitter on her orphaned Cameron Dallas stan account. ‘A slice of the pecan pie and vanilla cake too, please.’

The barista watched as they sat down in the cushiony seats near the back, Julie sighing as she took her coat off and Luke laughing at her expense. It stopped when Julie pulled the beanie from his head, hair stuck in all directions, and pressed her lips on his temple. Cecily knew she should look away - be proper, be polite, give them privacy - but it looked so… special. Like she was seeing something she might never see again. (The city was quite isolating. People tried to deflect that, say it was the opposite _because_ of how big it was, but Cecily knew better. Intimacy and creating connections was fucking hard - not even her amber gemstone could muster the energy.)

Because she didn’t remove her lips. They brushed against his temple and then dropped to his ear as she said few words. His smile widened, though timid, lowering his eyes to meet her gaze with an indescribable look. Love, Cecily deduced, but she also couldn’t understand it. It almost made her fixation with crystals and tarot seem silly. Did clutching onto her amethyst do anything when Julie and Luke found each other so young (assuming their insane love story they told the media was correct) and loved like this? Would routinely saging her space actually help her get someone that brushed her cheeks like Luke? Or smiled like Julie? 

Then they parted and the magic was over. Cecily jerked, crashing back into reality as a new customer drummed their fingers against the register. Right. Work. Duties. Real life. _Not_ Notting Hill.

She couldn’t focus though. Julie Molina and Luke Patterson were in her coffee bar and they were visibly in love and were drinking the chocolate milk _she_ made! The absolute restraint she forced onto herself to not change the music to one of their love songs was immense. (Would they cringe if she put on “Perfect Harmony” from their debut? Would they start dancing at their disco-pop masterpiece “Purple Neon” from the titular album? “Eyes for me”? “Aurora”? “Always Been You” (unreleased yet watched millions of times on Youtube)? Oh, fuck. Cecily couldn’t even force herself to _not_ be a superfan.)

Alright. Social suicide it was. Let the New Yorkers throw her at the sharks!

During a duller moment, Cecily slipped from behind the counter and slowly made her way towards the couple. Julie’s legs were thrown across his lap, heads leaning against each other as they giggled about something on her phone. 

‘Excuse me?’, Cecily said. 

They looked up, smiles fixed. Luke raised his brows with expectation. 

‘Could I-’ The cringe rippled up her back. Gah! Mistake, mistake, mistake! ‘-get a picture with you two… please?’

Before the embarrassment could eat her up alive, the two jumped up with a nod. ‘Yeah, sure!’, Julie grinned. ‘Do you want to be in the middle?’

Cecily dumbly nodded and instantly felt like a teenager and not twenty-five. How did she lose all her cool just like that?! 

They took the picture, with her smiling way too brightly like she just met Barack Obama, and the couple left soon after. Purple puffer coat and Patagonia jacket back on, Julie encased by his arms to combat the cold, slowly becoming smudges of colour in the wintery cityscape. A giddy Cecily stared down at her phone. Best Tuesday ever! 

(After work, she’d post it on Instagram and get reposted by Julie on her Instagram stories with the coffee bar handle. It was such a small detail, but God did it help get customers. Safe to say she’d be streaming CHIMERA till karma slapped her in the face.)

> **DAVE**

A young couple sat on the busy subway together. He didn’t know them, but he has seen so many versions of this couple before. And he could say that, because Dave was sixty-eight and literally saw the metamorphosis of New York City in real time. They were young and clearly in love and it was a gentle reminder that, no matter how harsh the city could be, moments of tenderness existed. The man’s head was lolling on the girl’s shoulder, eyes closed and moving with the vibrations of the metro. The woman was awake, one wireless earphone in as she stared into the darkness outside. Their hands were clasped together, her red hands caressing his fingerless gloves with a content smile adorning her lips. 

It was a better sight than the depressing newspaper clutched in _his_ hands, that was for sure and certain. 

He felt the urge to go up to them, prompt the girl to tell him their story. As a retired journalist, he was eager to hear something intriguing again. No bullshit like politics (though he was quite keen the Democrats were finally covering ground again) or the pressing urgency of climate change or those mushy fucking “Modern Love” columns from The New York Times - a _real_ story. A human story. Why her fingers were red and his weren’t, what she was listening to and he, the guy, probably enjoyed too. He wanted to know why they were here, in the particular subway, and how they made this vastly mundane moment so intimate and small. 

He didn’t, because he was a fucking New Yorker and didn’t wanna get cursed on, but he thought about it for a while. 

The mechanic voice indicated the next stop and the girl stirred him out of his slumber. It was surprising he even napped anyway, with the loud screeching of metal and the constant hum of faraway music and laughter and sweat stenching the crevices. It was almost poetic the way this vision unfolded. His granddaughter would love it. 

And then there was the first shared look and Dave wanted to throw his newspaper away all together. This was it, wasn’t it? This was “Pale Blue Eyes” by The Velvet Underground, the guttural punch of Nina Simone singing “I Put A Spell on You” in 1968 in England, the Berlin Wall falling on his little tv screen in November of 1989 and that euphoric disbelief catching everyone’s breath, this was his granddaughter taking her first steps in _his_ apartment and not in that of his daughter’s (ha!), this was Dave himself meeting his future wife in a jazz bar in 1981 when he was chasing the next Watergate and she was an aspiring drummer and their eyes crossed and the young Dave knew he was doomed. It was that. Just that. 

Though he wouldn’t normally compare the end of communism in Germany to the locking of eyes between a couple, it felt as monumental. Maybe that was how the guy was able to sleep - whatever they shared was bigger than a measly metal vehicle lathered with graffiti. 

She pressed her nose against his with a wink, as if she caught him doing something he shouldn’t have, like loving her the way she loved him, and said a few words. He kissed her, chaste, and grabbed the other wireless earphone. They looked younger then they did now, though Dave had a feeling they were older in different ways others couldn’t imagine. (And he could say that, because he was sixty-eight and a fucking New Yorker.) 

The metro stopped, people pouring in and out from the sliding doors including the couple. They didn’t see Dave, but he saw them. And that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nearing the end of the compilation. I have one more "Sophia" planned and maybe a few others and that's it. I think it's time for me to focus on other universe again :) Also Cecily is MOST DEFINITELY inspired by me because I drink wine and watch Notting Hill, like, religiously. This is the first time the similarity is this blatant haha.


	30. junior year of high school - part six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lead-up to Halloween, from a closer perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to me finalising this story was astounding! I'm not dying, just moving to BETTER, WELL THOUGHT-OUT stories instead of this indulgent mess, haha. But I really appreciate all the kind words!!
> 
> I realised a key part of the story, the part of Julie becoming part of the band, hasn't been told. Here you go!

Alex knew that Luke's besotted feelings for Julie Molina would alter slight things between the boys, but he hadn't expected it to affect the band. Sunset Curve was fine as is - solid, strong and ready for take off. Probably because, to Luke, there was nothing more important then the band. He always reminded them of that too. "I'm all about the music, boys! Eyes on the prize, shoot for the stars, and boom! We're gonna be big!"

So yeah, seeing Julie Molina seated in Alex's basement was kind of a surprising development. Or rather: seeing Julie Molina sit in his basement while hovering over Luke's songbook, annotating in the margins. Luke's songbook. That thing was fucking sacred to the guy, even went as far as slapping the guys when they barely touched it.

Luke was more gone than Alex originally thought.

'Hey,' Julie said with a smile. 'I like your studio, very much matches the "Sunset Curve" vibe.'

He gave her a wary look. 'That's a compliment or...?'

She laughed, a grin pulling on Luke's face behind her when she did. Damn. He really wasn't used seeing Luke gawk over a girl. Alex decided to mellow a bit; she really meant well and he should help Luke out a bit by not being an ass.

'Yeah,' she said. 'The acoustics are great.'

Oh, God. She sounded exactly like Luke then. And the dude knew it too, the grin widening even more. He had to reel it in if he didn't want Julie to think he was insane. 

Getting back to his earlier curiosity, he nodded at the book. 'Whatcha working on?' 

'A song,' Luke quipped, slight tremor in his voice as he snatched it up and hid it from Alex's eyes. Julie and him shot the boy a confused look. 

'I mean, yeah, I figured as much,' Alex deadpanned. 'I can't see?' 

It was then that he realised Luke really liked Julie. Was it intense, fleeting infatuation or long-lasting, Alex didn't know, but he did know she was something to him. 

'I mean...' Julie's voice trailed, trying to decipher Luke's behaviour. 'I'd say yes, but I guess...' 

Luke's smile became downright stressed. Alex wasn't sure whether to laugh or to be concerned. 'You know me, Alex, gotta get it perfect!'

That wasn’t true. That was such a boldfaced lie he was surprised a neon sign didn’t flicker above his head with the word “LIE” in red. He was keenly aware how foolish he got whenever he was around Willie (because crushes made anyone dumb), but this was next level. Especially for Luke - why would he lie about the ways he went about music?

Two hours later, when Julie left (not before Luke gave her a long goodbye hug) and Reggie arrived, Alex dared to bring it up. The joint they were sharing would hopefully mellow the situation. 

‘What was that before?’, he said. ‘We always work on songs together. You have some lyrics and then Reg and I keep it going.’

Luke frowned, looking up from his phone. Peeking, he saw it was (surprise, surprise) Julie. Her name even had a purple heart attached to it. The guy knew her for what? Three weeks? 'What?' 

'Dude,' he sighed. 'You freaking over the song. Reg and I are stoked you like someone, but she shouldn't come between the band.'

The boy laughed, shrugging the beanie from his head and scratching his hair. 'I don't like her-' 

'You do,' Reg drawled, staring as the smoke floated before him. 'You take the earlier bus now so you can hug her before first period.'

The other two gaped at him, Luke's eyes popping from their sockets. 'How do you know that?!' 

'I notice things.’ He paused, flitting between their incredulous gazes. ‘I'm smart!'

'Okay. Fine.’ Alex watched as he dropped his head on the couch, eyes trained on the cement ceiling. ‘I have a small-' 

'Big,' Alex corrected. 

_'Medium_ sized crush on her.’ Reg and him shot each other a smug look. “Medium” was a severe understatement. ‘Probably just cause of her voice!’ Luke continued. ‘And she's helping the band, dude. She has amazing ideas!' 

Wait. What the fuck? 'You're _using_ her?!', the blonde spit, disgust spouting with it. The exclaim rocked the boy so hard he nearly tumbled from the couch. 

'What?! No! Argh!' Luke jumped up, snatching the joint from Reggie's fingers and pacing in front of the couch. Huh. How the tables have turned. 'Okay. _Okay._ I like her, like a lot.'

Reggie grinned at that, like he solved the fucking Da Vinci code. 'Yes.'

'And we're creating this song and now it's kind of a "thing" that we do and it's fucking amazing and that's why I didn't show you. Like, it's not even a normal Sunset Curve song and I don't even care. So, you know, it's not even usable for us, but-' 

'She can be a bonus track,' Reggie prompted.

Alex nodded, pointing at the bassist. 'Yeah. Adding some flair on the demo.'

Luke's eyes widened, excitement through the roof. 'Or she can join!' 

Alex blinked. How Luke connected “bonus demo” to “permanent fixture in their future”, he didn’t know. Did his supplier give him a bad batch or something? 'Join?’ Alex trailed, peering. ‘The band?' 

His friend kept nodding enthusiastically. 'Yeah!' The beam smacked on his mouth was so big and goofy, Alex wasn't sure whether the boy was hearing himself. He wanted his _crush_ to join the band? Like, officially? Though Alex was pretty sure Julie liked him too (why else would she compliment his smelly ass basement?), but that could all fade in a month or two. He has seen Nick Dawson chatting with Julie a lot; wouldn't surprise him if that guy made a move any time soon. Also: this was _Sunset Curve._ A punk-rock band the boys created. Julie was amazing, but she didn’t fit their sound. 

Reggie seemed doubtful too. 'Not trying to rain on your parade, buddy, but isn't that like, a really big deal? The music people are finally noticing us and we all need the money.'

He rolled his eyes. 'It's not about the money.'

'It's _a little bit_ about the money, dude,’ Alex scoffed. Did Luke somehow forget his mom had to work two jobs and Reggie lived in a flat with five other people and Alex had to save up before he inevitably got disowned for being gay? ‘Think rationally for a sec. Write all the songs with her if you want, but don't ask her to join. Okay?' 

And he saw how the boy nodded, but it was so slow and with no clarity behind his green eyes that it was essentially meaningless. Alex hoped it was just the weed.

(It wasn’t, obviously. Because Luke was fucking whipped for a girl he met a month ago.) 

The bomb dropped several days later. 'I asked her.'

Alex slapped the back of his head, the boy glaring at him when he did. 'Dude! That is not for you to decide!' 

'I know! I'm sorry! I freaked out, she- she makes me hella nervous, dude.' Luke pouted, as if a puppy face excused his crush and irresponsible actions. 'It was at my party. She was _flirting back_ and I just- she was just- she was making awesome suggestions, dude, some that would benefit all of us and maybe make us even better! You know Reggie’s been dying to experiment!’ 

Though he made some points, Alex had a right to be angry. Asking someone to join their _life plan_ was not something for him to do to save his horrible flirting skills. He tried to stay calm. 

'Just ask her out, man.’ He quirked a brow. _‘Easier_ than get her in the band.'

‘I don’t even know if she likes me.’ Luke’s frown deepened. He was genuinely affected by this. ‘She’s mad nice to _everyone.’_

Alright, they were having this talk again, he reckoned. Ever since they met Julie and Luke went head over heels for her, Reggie and him have been convincing him that it was worth a shot to do something about it. The fact that Luke hadn’t yet, when he used to flirt with any girl back in LF Public out of boredom, spoke volumes. ‘She lets you hug her though,’ Alex reasoned. ‘Every morning.’

He shook his head, stubborn. ‘Maybe she thinks I do the same with you guys.’

Reggie laughed. ‘Alex kills anyone that touches him before coffee-’

‘True.’

‘-and I oversleep. Like, all the time.’

‘Why’re you trying to find reasons not to ask her out?’, Alex asked, genuinely curious. Every time Julie came up, he just lost all his cool. 

Luke laughed, letting his back fall against his locker. ‘You’ve seen her, she’s amazing.’

‘And you’re not?’ It was off to be on the other side for once, to be the one hyping _him_ up. Alex was lucky this thing with Willie was over text, or else they’d just be giving the same pep talk to each other over and over again. 

(But _fuck._ Willie was really cute. How in the hell did his anxious ass grab the attention of one of the hottest senior boys? One of the most _calm_ boys? It was laughable how different they were, but Alex also didn’t want to stop the endless threads between them. It just worked. It was insane.) 

The bitter laugh mellowed to an appreciative smile, nudging his shoulder. ‘Thanks, Alex.’ 

‘Here’s a proposition,’ Reg said, mischievous. ‘If you don’t ask her out, _I will.’_

He gaped at the bassist, looking like a full on cartoon character with wheels churning and steam pouring from his ears. ‘You. Wouldn’t.’

Since Reggie clearly didn’t care about being beat up by his own friends, he shrugged cockily. ‘What do I have to lose?’

Luke pushed himself off from the lockers at the words, frantic. ‘Okay! That’s it! I’m asking her to match with me on Halloween. And Alex! I’m getting you into Julie’s studio. You boys are gonna love it there and then you’ll see what I mean.’

Alex had trouble catching up to his rambling spiel, blinking. ‘You’ve gone to her studio? She _has_ a studio? What?’

The boy merely grinned, walking backwards and then spinning on his heels, his feet taking him on the familiar trip towards Julie’s locker. Reggie and him shared a glance. This would either go horribly wrong or _slightly_ wrong. 

Both were incorrect. It went right. What the hell. It went right.

First of all, Julie’s studio was fucking magnificent. Spacious and airy and not smelly or mouldy. No weed stench (“You’re _not_ allowed to smoke here!” - the stern words of Julie Molina) or shouts upstairs. There was no upstairs. Julie and her family literally had the means to convert a huge garage into a professional studio space, filled with instruments and equipment and a loft full of costumes. The stereo was stacked to the brim with CD’s ranging from the 1930s till now. And sure, the design element of the hanging chairs was… ominous and would definitely scare Alex into thinking they’d fall on his head, but he could get used to it. It was hard now to deny Luke’s words. If they rehearsed here, who knew how much progress they could make? 

Secondly, Julie’s suggestions were good. Nay - _great._ Like Luke said, it wasn’t really punk-rock, more so leaning punk-pop or just pop, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Her ideas weren’t to make them glossy like Ariana Grande or aimless like Justin Bieber, it was solid direction to steer the band in. Like King Of Leon or The Killers or R.E.M. All these bands were wildly different, obviously, but they were all very distinctive. Julie had a distinctive vision and it was _so so so_ enticing to give in. 

Unfortunately, she was first and foremost Luke’s crush. If he didn’t do anything about it, she wouldn’t be able to join. Either it became _something,_ or he had to let it go entirely. This weird in-between was just… weird. 

But then an excited Luke pulled Julie onto the rug, plugging his electric guitar into the amp and told the boys they’d give them a preview of the song they’ve been working on. Julie said they shouldn’t expect much, that they haven’t practised, but all of that faded away when she opened her mouth and Luke’s guitar followed. 

It was amazing. 

Though Alex was also there when they met Julie (and heard her rendition of “Love on The Brain”), it was then that he saw what Luke saw. It was the smile when she sang, what brought colour and life and soul to every vowel and vibrato. She wasn’t just singing, she was exploring the song as she went, a journey for her and the audience to be on. And yeah, even in rehearsal did Luke and her have stage chemistry. Or just chemistry - period. It was hard to deny when Julie leaned into him and his knees sunk to be on her level, grins matching. Hard to deny when a particularly flirtatious line was sung right in his face. 

When they ended, Alex felt dubious. If this whole relationship didn’t happen, this new, appealing direction would fall through. They didn’t talk about it, rather joked and laughed and talked about music and played Cards Against Humanity, but he had a feeling they were all thinking it. 

Oh, man. Julie had to join the band. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Gah, he could really go for a smoke right now. 

(There was hope though. Julie was sitting next to Luke on the couch as they played the game, and his arm was thrown over the back, his fingers a whisper away from her shoulder. It was horribly blatant and since neither seemed to mind, not even when her father peeked inside to watch what they were doing.)

The days leading up to Halloween were achingly stupid. Like, majorly. Why couldn’t they just muster the confidence and cross the line from Friends That Heavily Flirted to Dating. It was so easy! Argh! Didn’t help that Willie had the whole bet going on either. He wanted Willie to win, obviously, but it would also mean that everything happening between them would become very… real. Oh. Okay, yeah, he understood Julie and Luke now. Dating was terrifying. 

Those days, it was a given that wherever Julie was, Luke was too and vice versa. Hugging her good morning, Julie bombarding him with music stuff during lunch, him snatching her to one of the music rooms to work on an idea, playing freaking _footsie_ during Mendoza’s class when the man was droning about nonsensical stuff. Or typical crush stuff: like staring at the back of her head during dance class, like Julie taking a particular interest in grabbing his arm to get his attention, like playfighting in the hallway. To an outsider, they could already be dating (which Reggie heavily suspected), but Alex knew better. The nervous energy around Luke hasn’t lessened yet and the conversation of Julie joining was still hanging in the air. 

They played one more gig right before Halloween at some frat party in the college area, the boys allowed to all invite one other person. (“You can’t infest the party with fucking children,” Brody, one of the leaders of the fraternity, said. “Don’t wanna get fucked over again by one of my boys fooling around with a minor.”)

Naturally, Luke brought Julie. 

The band played all the classics and their best covers, all the college kids eating it up and drunk enough to not point out the fact they weren’t even seventeen yet. It was fine, they all looked a little older anyway. Luke’s eyes, Alex noticed, were fully trained on Julie for the entire performance. Whether it was a flirting move or because he was worried, he didn’t know, but it certainly helped keeping Julie fixed on him too. She looked the part, with her eyeliner, her hair half-up and wearing darker colours to blend with the college kids. It reminded him of what Luke said weeks ago, of her being too good for him, and kind of saw it now. Luke was fucking amazing, but Julie had a spark neither of the boys possessed. 

She had, had, _had_ to join the band. And if that thought telepathically reached Luke, all the better, because suddenly he called her name in the mic to come up front and do the final song with them. _Their_ song. The four of them have practised it maybe once.

The song, “Caution”, was so different from the rest of their set - adorable and way more uplifting, but the crowd was hollering in excitement. Never mind that Brody didn’t ask for pop-rock sung by two lovesick teens (cause yeah, they were lovesick, there was no rebuttal) or a stressed as shit Alex afraid to make a mistake, they loved it. How the energy of the crowd fed them and they gave it back triple the amount, with a wink. It was incredible. Alex’s heart was soaring when they ended, so fucking excited of Julie very possibly joining. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Luke’s head right now. Then again, his hug that lifted her from the ground and the prompt kiss on her cheek was an indication. Then again, Julie’s dazzling eyes trained on him was straight out of a Nicholas Sparks movie.

Finally, Halloween arrived, they matched, were acting like a couple all throughout the night, and finally began to properly date. When Willie told him later on that their first kiss was at the party and not outside the studio, he had cornered Luke to tell him the true story. Luckily, Luke had that moment branded in his brain till the end of time. 

*** 

‘I’m getting a drink!’, Julie yelled in his ear, body pressed against his and smelling heavenly despite the sweat that drenched them both. Luke dumbly nodded and watched as she squeezed herself between the dancing classmates towards the kitchen. Realistically, he knew she’d be back in a few minutes to resume their dancing, but his feet had a mind of their own. Luke followed her, no clue what he was going to say but knowing that if he didn’t kiss her tonight, didn’t confess to his feelings tonight, he would probably combust. 

He found her with her back towards him, finding a cup and pouring lemonade. The tug in his chest drove him towards her and placed his arms on either side of her. She turned around, amused, as if expecting him to be there. Maybe she did. Julie was amazing at making him lose his fucking mind like that. 

‘You…’ He puffed, nervous, and shook his head. Spit it out. ‘You look _illegal,_ Julie.’

A teasing smile trembled on her lips, the amusement morphing to that same nervous energy he felt. Both were hyper-aware of how close they were, a different type of closeness then all the other times. Their breaths mingled and though he wasn’t touching her, he felt the heat of her skin. This was more intimate than their dancing from before. Her pretty eyes locked on his, looking so achingly perfect he almost backed away. 

(Then again, shouldn’t he follow their own lyrics? Caution to the wind?)

Her lips rolled in, edging closer. ‘That's a good thing…’ She tilted her head. ‘Right?’

He puffed out another laugh, playfully pulling at a tendril brushing her cheek and then, because _fuck it,_ let his fingers brush against her jaw. She was responding to his avances and he needed to touch her skin without an excuse. They were chest to chest now, hands softly trailing to her neck and noticing how hers hovered at his waist. Electricity sparked and she hasn’t even done anything. Luke was so fucking gone for this girl. 

When the heated stare lasted for more then a beat, she tilted her head and nudged his nose. ‘Are you going to kiss me or not?’, she whispered, killing him on the spot.

Luckily, his body was still alive, as before she even finished her sentence, his lips hungrily dove for hers and closed the little space between them. Julie gasped against his lips, her hands clutching onto his chest and responding to his excited kiss. The thumbs caressing her face tightened, all the pent up energy and exhilaration he felt from the past two months pouring itself into this moment. Two months of giddiness and lingering gazes and hugs and that monumental sensation of simply being around her (he was afraid of what it meant, but tonight, he wouldn’t linger on it; he was kissing Julie fucking Molina for God’s sake) coming together.

Her lips were warm and sweet and she was amazing at this as well. Coming back for more, he chased the thrill and slipped his hands from her cheeks to her back, arching her closer and crushing those silly fairy wings. Her fingers went to his hair and weaved them through and fuck - this was the best kiss in all his sixteen years of living. 

They began to smile and grin mid-kiss, lips separating to giggle and kissing anyway because kissing someone while smiling felt like touching the sun. Luke felt high and drunk and his heart was gonna explode. He was kissing Julie Molina. He was kissing Julie Molina. And Julie Molina was divine at making him needy for _more._

Pulling apart, they properly looked at each other for a beat. Her eyes were wide and dilated, him probably giving her the exact same expression. Both waited - would the other regret it? - for something. Another kiss, a joke, a frown, a friendzone. Nothing came. Luke took that as a sign to keep going (because how could he stop now that he knew she kissed like this?) and found her again, softer this time. She melted against him with a sigh. Relief, Luke barely registered, like a crooked frame finally got straightened out - but then her tongue slipped into his mouth and any rational thought went out the window. He groaned, hot all over form her actions, and let his fingers instinctually release her hair from that Tinker Bell bun. The glossy curls dropped around them. He needed more and letting himself experience the feel of her locks was just that. His body just went into autopilot, kissing and touching and relishing the way her own hands pressed into his shoulders and back.

(If he was still cognisant of his surroundings, he'd hear whooping and whistling in the background. But he wasn’t.)

But then something must’ve happened for her, as all of sudden, she pushed him back. Staring at him both him wonder, both like he was a different person. Luke swallowed, stress coiling in the pit of his stomach. He had no clue what she was thinking right now. 

‘Did I do something wrong?’, he rushed. The last thing he wanted was make her uncomfortable! Argh! What if he crossed a line?! 

She shook her head, dazed, hands still flat against his chest like she wasn’t sure what she wanted either. ‘What are we doing?’, she breathed.

He knew what she meant, but his mind was lagging. All he could think of was them kissing, not the implication of losing their title as Just Friends because of what they just did. Wait… she didn’t think this was just them fooling around, right? Did she only want to fool around? 

Luke flushed even more, red cheeks matching his no doubt reddened lips. ‘We- uh- I don't- we were kissing.’ 

‘Because… because you like me, or?’

Panic surged in his chest. She thought _he_ didn’t _like_ her? ‘Yeah!’ His grin twitched to something more private. ‘Not because- you know- I thought that I was, uh, obvious about it.’

Her eyes shut with a groan, hands covering her face. ‘I’m ruining it.’

‘No! No, you’re not! You’re perfect-’ She looked up at that, surprised. He hadn’t meant to say that, but it was true, so why not? He sighed, levelling his nerves. ‘What’s going on up there, Jules?’

Julie smiled at his last words and he knew he shouldn’t completely freak out just yet. Her eyes fell to the position of her hands on his chest and dropped to her side. ‘I like you too,’ she finally said. Luke was pretty sure he heard angels sing. ‘But maybe we can, I don't know, use this party to try it out?’

And then dropped back to earth. He frowned. ‘Try it out?’

‘For the night,’ she continued, cheeks tinged red and face awkward. He smiled back at her encouragingly. If they really wanted this, they should be able to do this, right? Something shifted within her too, back straightening and eyes sparking with confidence. It was… a lot. Wow. Keep cool, Luke. ‘Let's pretend we’re a… real thing for the night, and then we’ll see in the end if we like it or not. What do you think?’

To Luke, they were already very much a real thing the second he touched Julie’s lips, but he respected her idea. If this was what she needed to make the right decision, then he had to accept it - even if that meant he might not be so lucky at the end of the night. (The odds were in his favour though and the boy _knew_ it.) 

Luke smirked, giddy, and pulled on a curl again. ‘Okay. Let's do it. But I gotta admit, Jules, I already know how this night is gonna end.’

She peered up at him playfully, slipping from between his body and the counter. ‘Oh, really?’

‘Yeah,’ he bounced back, confidently grabbing her hand (it fit perfectly) and, in that moment, allowing himself to fall into the deep end. Julie had him. ‘I do.’

***

'I... I cannot believe our whole fucking lives are the way they are because you told Julie she looked illegal.'

'Dude!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song "Caution" is by The Killers! Really funky and cute and very obvious about the message, which makes it all the funnier Luke and Julie wrote it together.


	31. married life - part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of Sophia Patterson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The town of strangers in my head has been emptied, all the scenarios have been written, all the ways I could write they loved each other, all the ways they could grow - it's all here. Thirty-one chapters and nearly 100K words. Thank you 💜

> **SOPHIA**

Sophia was, just like her father, an early riser. And like her father, she loved bouncing out of bed into the hallway, and to her parents's bedroom to wake them up. It was horribly boring to be the only one awake.

As she opened their door, she could expect two things:

1) Both deeply sleeping, her mom curled into dad's chest and his mouth slightly open as if he was about to whisper something and then forgot.

2) Kissing. Her parents kissed a lot. Sometimes she thought they created a whole language through kisses only they understood. That they lived in their own fantasy worlds, like Sophia herself sometimes, but purely from the touch of the other person. It was kinda gross, but also sweet. Kisses meant they loved each other, so her parents loved each other a lot.

Like now. The second one came true. They were kissing. Slowly, like it was their way to wake up. The fact that their bodies were pressed together and hands roamed beneath the sheets left Sophia unfazed. She took the leap and fell with a thump on the bed, consequently startling her parents and bumping their noses together.

She giggled. 'Good morning!'

They gave each other a look, something she didn't yet understand, and then smiled at her.

'Good morning, Soph,' mom said, sitting up against the headboard. 'Did you sleep well?'

The girl nodded as she propped her head on her tiny fist. 'What am I wearing today?'

A serious expression crossed her face. 'Good question. We don't want our fashionista to look bad on a Tuesday.'

Sophia's smile widened. Didn't matter that they were teasing her, it was true! She loved dressing up! It was one of her favourite parts of the day: mom on the floor against the radiator with her coffee as Sophia fluttered around her wardrobe and discussed in Spanish what she was going to wear. A "collaborative effort" - something her parents always talked about.

'I think you look awesome right now,' dad joked.

'That's because you don't know anything about fashion,' mom breathed, turning back to him. His smile twitched into something warmer.

Sophia prodded where she presumed mom's foot was. 'So can we go? Do I need to put on the coffee maker?'

Dad spoke before mom did. 'She's gonna be there in twenty minutes. We're gonna... shower. Why don't you eat some breakfast first?'

Pouting, she crawled off the bed and pointed at them sternly. 'Twenty minutes.' Sophia didn't have a full grasp on time yet, but she was pretty sure twenty minutes went by fast. They took it to heart though, as dad rushed out of bed and took mom with him, laughing. From the way the door fell shut, she supposed she couldn't join them like when she was younger. Sophia shrugged. Kellogg's it was.

'Why don't you wear your new sweater today?', mom proposed, pointing at a pink number with the tag still on. She was on the floor, against the radiator with a coffee. The familiarity (and the kept promise of having her walk in twenty minutes later) put Sophia in an even better mood.

She frowned. 'Is it not going to look bad with my pants?'

Mom shook her head. 'Pink and green go well together.' Wiggling her brows, she added: 'Super trendy.'

That satisfied Sophia. At nine years old she was very aware (thanks to her famous parents and the constant picture taking by strangers) that looking good was important. Trendy meant their "collaborative effort" was on the right path.

Shrugging it over her head, her caramel curls exploded all around her. Mom laughed at the sight.

'Come here,' she giggled. Tugging and flattening and shifting Sophia's clothes to sit perfectly, the girl grabbed a lock of her mom's. It was pretty and dark brown. Somehow, Sophia's hair colour was like a smoothie of her parents. Curly, but not as tight as mom's, and brown, but right in between the both of them. She has always known her mom with long hair and for a while, she believed she was a princess. (Her mom: a rockstar, the sun, a princess, the one that nagged at her to eat her asparagus. She could do it all.)

Mom finished. 'Perfect. Luke is gonna faint when he sees you.'

Faint?! 'What do we do?' 

She stood up with a shrug, coffee nearly sloshing over the rim. 'He'll just have to get used to what a beauty you are.' 

Sophia followed her excitedly. 'You're beautifuller!' 

'I am?' 

'And dad is the beautifullest!' 

'Hear that Luke,’ she called out, nearing the kitchen, ‘you're the beautifullest.'

Dad laughed. 'I think everyone decided that's you like, twenty years ago but-' He froze, eyes zeroing in on Sophia and letting out a loud gasp, hand clutching his chest. 

Sophia giggled as she watched him slowly crouch onto the kitchen floor. 'Dad,' she sang. 

'I'm fainting!' 

She placed her hands on her bony hips, as if she herself was a scolding mother and sighed disappointedly. 'You cannot play pretend well.'

He grinned and his eyes flitted to mom for a second. 'No. I really can't. I'm awesome though...' He pulled himself up and hauled her on top of a kitchen stool. 'At making you make your own lunch.'

She scowled. 

'Oof,' mom puffed. 'You wanna toast the bread with that stare, mija?' 

'Why can't you do it?', she whined, jiggling her father's arm. 

'Can't have you become lazy.' He slid the dull knife towards her. 'Julie and I had to make our own lunch, so will you.'

She frowned. 'So this is not a "collaborative effort"?' 

'No,' he laughed. 'This is a "just Sophia" effort.'

Mom and dad dropped her off on their way to the studio. Sometimes one went early and only one drove her to school, but today she got the both of them. 

Sophia went to an international school. With her parents fame and their hectic schedules, Sophia either had to do online school or this, as every school across the world followed the same trajectory. They didn’t want her to become a hermit, so the Nord Anglia International School it was. It was nice, as she had double the friends whenever she had to stay with grandpa when they went on tour. Though difficult in the beginning to adapt, she found her friends in both schools and her own rhythm. She didn’t frequently shift anymore. Her parents tried to tour during school holidays now, usually summer break. Then she travelled the world with the band and it was the absolute best. Sightseeing by day, sleeping in ritzy hotels or watching them perform by night. Willie and Alex’s son, Bowie, went along too. He was a little older and then Sophia got a taste of “sibling squabble.” It was amazing. 

So, yeah. She liked her school. Many kids had famous parents here, so they all understood one another in some weird, unspoken way. 

Mom and dad turned in their seats to look at her. 

'Presentation about dolphins on lock?', mom asked. 

'Yup.'

'Not afraid to jump over the horse in gym?' dad continued. 

A hesitant pause. 'Yup.' It was less convincing, but it still counted for something. 

'Lunch?', mom teased. 

Sophia pursed her lips. 'Made by me.' It almost sounded like she did a horrific deed and not just lathered some veggie spread on bread. 

They high fived each other. 'Another morning for the books,' Luke cheered. She didn't get their humour. She compartmentalised it as humour for adults and therefore not funny at all. 

Mom reached over and kissed her on the cheek. 'Have a great day, Soph.'

Dad mimicked the motion on the other side, Sophia unable to keep the grin down. If kisses meant you loved someone, then they loved her double as much. 

'Bust down some doors today, Soph!' 

(Her presentation went well, she almost had a tantrum because of that stupid horse she had to fling her body over, Maisie shared her clementines with her during lunch, Jordan complimented her sweater. Overall, a pretty good day.)

As per usual, she stayed after school for another two hours before either of her parents picked her up. They had long hours at the studio and couldn't be there at 3 PM on the dot. It was fine. She did her homework or read or coloured or sometimes a teacher put a movie on. Most kids that stayed after had parents like her and then they compared daily routines. (Sophia wouldn’t boast, but she liked to believe she had the best parents. Then again, they did force her to make lunch - ugh.) 

Dad picked her up that day, clothes crinkled and face weary from a full day of work. Sophia didn’t entirely know how the process went - from idea to performance - but it seemed like a lot of work. 

He helped her put her jacket on. ‘Julie’s recording some vocals,’ he explained, ‘she’ll be home later tonight.’

‘Can we watch a movie tonight?’

‘You’ve done your homework?’

Sophia looked up at him. Over the years, her uncles have fed her plenty of stories about the wilder times of her dad. That he hated school, that he’d rather die than look at a chemistry worksheet, that he had problems following the rules. Her dad would be, if she had to follow the beliefs of her teachers, a bad boy. To her, it just sounded like quintessentially “dad.” He liked music and mom and her, and that was kind of it. Did he need to like more? Sophia didn’t think so. But in moments like these, when he asked her about her homework, she wondered if he actually cared whether or not she did it, or if he asked her cause  _ other  _ parents asked  _ their  _ children. 

She smiled. ‘Yup. The DJ warrior princess movie?’

He grinned. ‘You make a good argument, Soph. Let’s go.’ Using his long legs to walk towards the exit, she grabbed onto his hand to keep up. Her grin watched his, swinging their arms and then, like she hoped for, having him chuck her further down the hallway. She didn’t know how he did it with just one arm (hers were like noodles!) but it was one of the best things ever. It was like her own personal rollercoaster! 

Back in the car, he fiddled with the radio to find the right song, grinned when it was one of his own, and drove home. When Sophia was littler, she used to mimick them. Like, she pretended to twist radio knobs or unscrew bottles of wine or sing into a microphone or, recently, moved her fingers like dad did when he played the guitar. She’s been getting frequent singing lessons from a student at Julliard, but now she was working up the courage to ask for guitar lessons. Dad’s fingers were just so cool, with those dents in them like he held coins there for years and then took it out. 

They ate dinner, Sophia talking about her day and lying that the horse at gym went well (Maisie and Jordan already calmed her down from that experience), dad talking about the songs they’ve been workshopping in impassioned ways she could only dream of. The music lingo made sense to her though. It was as if she spoke three languages. Spanish, English and Music - it was as simple as breathing. 

By the time they finished, her tired mom came home. Droopy shoulders and scuffling sneakers, but then completely brightened at the sight of dad walking towards her. And when mom was happy, Sophia was happier too. She watched as dad pulled her into a kiss and a hug and how they exchanged quick words into each other’s ears. Her eyes fell on Sophia and slipped past him with a grin. 

‘Hey, Soph. Did they like the sweater?’

Soph grabbed onto her mom’s hand with glee, shaking it. ‘They did! Jordan said it was the colour of bubblegum! And gym was fine and lunch was fine and the blue colour-’

‘The periwinkle.’

‘Yes, the  _ periwinkle  _ was a good idea for the presentation.’ She pushed mom onto the couch, the woman laughing when she did and Sophia jumping after her. ‘And-’ She nestled into her side. Mom was always so warm and soft. ‘Maisie was fighting with Eloise today, but then I told them about “collaborative effort”-’

Dad snorted, plopping down on the other side of mom. She grabbed her nose before Sophia continued babbling. ‘Mija, breathe. Can I know why we’re on the couch?’

She perked up, smiling brightly at her parents and getting a nod from dad. ‘Oh! We’re watching the DJ movie again!’

‘Ah…’ Her gaze drifted from Soph to dad and he gave her a little shrug. ‘Good choice, Soph. You can put it on. I’m gonna quickly change.’

Ten minutes later, the three of them were huddled on the couch as the first act was in full force. The warrior princess just found out the caves sang to her! Her eyes were shackled to the tv screen, gasping and giggling at the right time. Didn’t matter this was the fifth (sixth?) time she saw it, the movie was super cool and Lyra was the best princess ever. 

Lyra dropped into a secret tomb, Soph simultaneously widening her eyes with the character. ‘Mom, mom, she’s gonna find-’

Mom didn’t react, a confused Sophie looking to her right to find them asleep. She stifled a giggle. They were always so tired at the end of the day. It was honestly really funny how Sophia had so much energy and they couldn’t even keep their eyes open! Their arms were wrapped around each other, her cheek smushed in his chest and his head on top of hers. It looked really awkward, but they seemed happy about it. She didn’t want them to sleep here though. If Sophia had to sleep in her bed, than so did they!

She tapped on mom’s shoulder until she stirred awake. ‘Yes, mi niña?’, she drawled. 

‘You fell asleep,’ she whispered, Spanish flowing in. 

‘I did, huh,’ she smiled, pulling herself from dad’s embrace and leaning into Sophia, kissing her cheek. ‘You’re already taking care of us. Soon you won’t even wanna watch Lyra anymore.’

Her brows raised, surprised. ‘I  _ highly  _ doubt it.’

Mom’s smile softened, brushing her cheek. She didn’t look so sleepy anymore. ‘I love you.’

Pressing her forehead against mom’s, she mumbled: ‘Because I watch Lyra?’

‘Because you’re you.’ A pause. ‘And because you watch Lyra. You have excellent taste, Soph.’

She pointed at dad, not losing eye contact. ‘Do we have to carry him?’

Mom giggled. ‘No. Luke is super heavy, we’d both collapse.’

An arm snaked around mom and pulled her back, Sophia losing the press of the foreheads. Dad laughed in mom’s ear. ‘I still understand Spanish, babe.’

Mom sputtered. ‘Sophia and I are going to learn a new language, right Soph?’

She nodded gravely, going along. ‘Right.’

His eyes cracked open in surprise. ‘So a fifth language?’

Sharing a frown with Soph, mom said: ‘Fifth?’

‘Yeah.’ His voice held mirth. ‘English, Spanish, music, your lips, and then a fifth.’

Though Sophia didn’t get it (was it a joke? an actual language?), mom did, based on the way she melted against dad and kissed him slowly. ‘You’re cheesy,’ she breathed. He hummed. 

‘You should go to sleep,’ Sophia repeated, gaze flitting to the tv screen where Lyra had her ear pressed against the ground to hear for the Fire Whispers. She knew what would happen next; she could watch the rest tomorrow. 

They agreed, all three choosing to tidy the living room tomorrow and getting ready for bed. Sophia waited for her parents to come in as she dove into bed and stared at the hologram stars casted on her ceiling. A smile grew on her lips as they came in and stared at the ceiling with her. 

‘I almost want one for our own room,’ dad whispered. 

Mom nudged him. ‘I was just thinking the same thing.’

‘Nice.’ He plopped down on Sophia’s bed, making this goofy face he always did and she had no clue why, but it made her chuckle regardless. ‘I think the dream is gonna be about Maisie tonight. What do you think?’

Ever since she had a spiel of nightmares a few months ago, her parents began guessing her dreams. They always proposed nice ones, like about her friends, and somehow it made her dream of them too and not about those nightmares. She didn’t know how that worked, but she was going to hold on to her Parent Magic for as long as possible. 

Soph nodded. ‘Probably. She shared her clementine with me.’

Mom sat down too. ‘That’s great. I dream about clementines too.’

‘You do?’

‘Hm-mh.’ Placing her head on dad’s shoulder, she added: ‘Always a good dream.’

Her mood lifted with hope, pleased that the dream would be nice. Snuggling deeper into her comforter, her parents softly kissed her forehead and murmured goodnight, flicking all the lights off safe for the galaxy. 

She heard their voices fade in the hallway, their own door closing with a click. Sophia mustered a smile despite the sleepiness overtaking her body. A dream about clementines and Maisie sharing it and Jordan thinking her sweater was pretty and a dream about creating a new language to love her parents even more and a dream about how happy her mom became when she saw dad. Maybe that was the most recurring dream of all. Of Sophia sitting at the breakfast table and listening as her parents talked. She never remembered what they talked about when she woke up, but she always felt warm when she did. Maybe she has always dreamed about the fifth language they just discussed. Maybe, if mom was the sun (and therefore, her dad the moon), then Sophia was as unending as the stars. 

She liked that dream. 

TIMELINE OF THE ENTIRE FIC (obviously not mandatory to read) 

Junior year of high school

  * Boys meet Julie on August 26th, the first day of school.
  * Willie and Alex simultaneously see them grow closer until it all culminates at Halloween.
    * Good morning hugs
    * Skate park hangouts
    * Going to gigs
    * General crush cutesiness
    * Julie grows closer to the band too
  * Ray sees them getting close as well and witnesses the “first” kiss outside the studio.
  * After they get together, it’s implied she joins the band (so, starting from November). 
  * Around December, Luke experiences jealousy for the first time when he sees her talking to Nick and swoops in.
  * On NYE, Luke tells Julie he loves her (he’s in the moment) as implied by Flynn. Though not spoken about in the story, they both decide to let that moment be what it was and wait until they’re both ready to actually say it and mean it. 
  * Around February, they talk about their views on sex and Julie also meets the Patterson’s. It doesn’t go well. 
  * They’re voted as “Cutest Couple” for the yearbook in April and Luke formally asks her to prom.
  * Carlos witnesses his sister being so infatuated that by spring break, he realises there’s a difference between love and in love. 
    * during spring break, both missed each other terribly
  * They have a major fight in May due to severe miscommunication and nearly break up. They learn what the other has been missing. 
    * They say “I love you” and fully mean it
    * They try to write their first love song, but it needs work
  * They have sex for the first time in July on a trip to Southern California.
    * That summer, they do it a lot according to Alex, alluding to hook-ups outside of venues
    * They also do it in Reggie’s van, which was a topic of confusion whether or not it was role play (Luke wins that one) 
  * In August, they go to Valerie’s party where they actively show them being better partners.



Senior year of high school

  * General cutesiness
    * movie nights with the boys and with the Molina’s
    * Luke calming Julie down before a test
    * Study dates in the library
    * Going to parties together
    * Luke being oblivious to other girls and Julie trusting him wholeheartedly
  * They’re fooling around in the broom closet in September and later that day get caught by Ray. Ray realises he’s been out of the loop and should’ve given her The Talk. Luckily, Julie and Luke have gotten advice from Victoria.
  * They do it in the car later that night and realise what they have is not definable by words. 
  * Luke starts hanging out with Carlos around the same time and the boy kind of gets adopted by all the boys. 
    * Carlos smokes his first joint at fourteen because of them
  * Julie finds out Luke is learning Spanish for her via Duolingo, making her realise he is truly in it for the long haul. 
    * Sexy Times™ become a whole lot Sexier
  * By January, Nick is fed up by his own crush when Julie and Luke are especially clingy during a blizzard and finally lets go.
  * Kayla becomes part of the highly coveted group chat started by Reggie. Stellar memes ensue. 
    * Detail: Julie wears Luke’s rings
  * Valentine’s Day arrives and Julie and Luke are insufferable.
    * Making out in the hallway, getting waffles for lunch, a quickie in her car, giving Reggie advice about love during music class
    * Dancing and hooking up in her bedroom after school
    * Going to a Sabrina Claudio (and The 1975) concert and realising that one of her songs “Unravel Me” matches the love they experience. It’s mind boggling. 
  * They go to a Foo Fighters concert.
  * In April, Luke and his parents have their final fight and he gets cut off and kicked out. It’s the middle of the night so Ray picks him up. Luke stays at Reggie for the first ten days, but then lives with the Molina’s for a month. It goes from really bad to slightly better. Domestic!Juke sparks the idea that they want to do it again in the future.
    * They perform an amazing set that solidifies Victoria’s belief in the couple
  * The day after he gets kicked out, Carrie finds out by eavesdropping. She wants to help (ew) and makes her dad promote “Finally Free” on his Twitter. She indirectly helped them score a record deal with Atlantic Records.
  * It’s senior prom, Luke in a blue suit and Julie in a pink dress and they all of a sudden look so mature it aches Ray. They love each other so confidently he knows they’ll be alright. They go to Flynn’s afterparty after prom. 
  * Graduation happens, with Carrie and Julie making amends, another Molina getting her diploma, and Julie and Luke happily having a conversation about moving in together one day. They go to Valerie’s afterparty. 
  * In the summer, it is seen on Luke’s Instagram stories he got himself a studio apartment due to the surge in fame (from Carrie’s indirect help), implying he’s alright and is not held down by his parents anymore. 



Freshman year of college (UCLA)

  * Alina, Julie’s roommate, meets Luke and he is a wreck from not seeing Julie 24/7, like he used to. 
  * Seen through IG that they’re having a good time in Luke’s studio apartment. 
  * Implied through conversation that they laid on the grass in March and, later, a thing they regularly do. 
  * They release “Bright” that year, which gives them mainstream attention. It was on the radio for weeks. 
  * Julie moves out of the dorm and tells Alina that her and Luke living together (despite now with the boys still) is inevitable. They remain friends. 



Sophomore year of college 

  * Implied that Luke works at Tony’s (they don’t play there yet) during the night and hardly sees Julie. He surprises her in the library and they go out for ice cream. 
  * While Luke works at Tony’s, he tells the other employees there he has the smartest girlfriend ever. 
  * Luke writes during the day in a coffee shop and regularly goes out to talk on the phone with her outside. 
  * He eventually gets the afternoon shift and matches up his schedule with Julie so they don’t constantly have to miss each other. They spent two years straight at this coffee shop. Both confess here that they started liking each other within the first days of meeting. 



The summer before junior year they watch “The Vow” with the boys. 

Junior year of college

  * At the start of junior year, Luke surprises Julie (as he was away for a trip) at university, as he wants to see her sing a solo in a bar tonight. 
  * Julie crashes a frat party to get Luke to work on a song with her. He’s stoned, so that must’ve been fun. 
  * They’re drunk and horny in an Uber after watching Fate & The Sons at Tony’s. They don’t remember much of that night. 



The summer before senior year 

  * They go to Coachella and are very flirty with each other, Julie serenading him and both revealing they get turned on by hands and the taste of sunscreen. They can make something as loud as a festival seem intimate. 
  * Julie proposes they move out of their apartment with the boys and find their own place. Luke happily agrees. The boys expected it. 



Senior year of college

  * They have the marriage talk close to graduation and it’s revealed Luke has been prepared to marry her since they watched “The Vow.” They also talk about babies, but Luke is petrified and rather doesn’t discuss it. Linked to his family trauma. Julie understands and hopes they keep growing. 
    * Implied they get off on emotional moments lol
  * The day of graduation they visit the coffee shop one last time for Julie’s coffee (with amaretto). It’s revealed she graduated audio engineering with summa cum laude! 
  * They move into a slightly bigger apartment. 



Adolescent years

  * 23 years old
    * The apartment is revealed to be in Atwater Village, an area in LA where people with “actual lives” life. Implies how serious they are about each other. 
    * Implied they’re starting to get known worldwide.
    * Implied they start playing at Tony’s on the weekends.
    * Julie and Luke meet Helena, Carlos’s girlfriend. 
    * Luke and Julie have an emotional reunion at the train station.
    * Julie gets hit on at the supermarket and an oblivious Luke swoops in, excited about an Oreo flavour. It’s their anniversary today.
  * 24 years old
    * Luke proposes in November → silver ring with amber gemstone
    * Julie and Luke both get hit on at Tony’s after a gig and relieve that energy by drunkenly singing ABBA to each other. 
  * 25 years old
    * January: The band goes to NYC and play a concert in an arena. It’s Julie’s birthday and Luke performs “Always Been You” 
    * The couple extend the trip and stay in NYC. They take a picture in front of their billboard for their EP: CHIMERA, take a picture with a fan. (Not mentioned in the story, but Julie says they can just get both desserts for their wedding instead of fighting about one.) Luke falls asleep on the metro on her shoulder. 
    * They see a wedding planner. It’s decided they’ll hold the wedding in a botanical garden and have the party at Tony’s afterwards. 
    * Julie plays “point of view” for Luke in a random open mic bar because she loves her fiancé that much. 
    * They marry in October, both 25 years old, in a botanical garden in LA. Luke kisses her before it’s allowed. They play a set with Julie in her wedding dress and have the time of their lives. 
  * 26 years old
    * They’ve been together for a decade. They’re so full of love it aches them. 
    * They write sex songs now, cause fuck it. Julie doesn’t find him attractive when he’s sitting cross-legged on the bed nude though. 
  * 30 years old
    * Julie is pregnant mid-January. Both are excited. They hope it’s a girl. 
    * It’s announced on social media in February. 
    * Sophia is born on October 31st. She’s the perfect blend of the two. 
  * 36 years old
    * It’s implied the family went to Sequoia National Park. 
  * 37 years old
    * It’s summer when Sophia learns out about Rose. Sophia figures out, just like her father, that Julie is the sun.
    * It’s implied they like to do bedtime stories. 
  * 39 years old
    * They’re the best fucking parents in the world and Sophia knows it. 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you so much for reading, and I'll perhaps see your beautiful usernames again in another fic 💜


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